Another Lost on a Planet Fic
by Vinividivinci
Summary: Another Jack and Sam lost on an alien planet. I couldn't help myself! This is mainly J/S ship/angst- with a little adventure thrown in.
1. Chapter 1

_**I've had this story floating around in my head for a few weeks now – but was soooo good (aren't you proud of me) to not start it until I finished my last story. So – now here it is! This is the absolutely typical, done to death, predictable "Jack and Sam trapped on an alien planet fic". I freely admit that this is my favorite kind of story. So – here it is. Hopefully there will be something a little different, or new or interesting in my story (if not – well, at least I'll enjoy writing it). I hope **__**you**_** enjoy reading it!**

"Dial her up Major!" he shouted. The Jaffa would be here any second and there were too many of them to hold off. He kept his eyes focused on the trail behind him, confident that his team were doing what they had to to get them home.

Teal'c hadn't come this time as he'd been injured on their last trip through the gate so it was just Daniel and Carter and him. Fortunately, Teal'c's injuries weren't too serious and junior seemed to be taking care of them but Janet had insisted he stay and rest for a few days. Since the trip to P9R 44Y had seemed like a milk run, Hammond had authorized the mission with just the three of them.

At first it had appeared as if the prediction that it was going to be an easy mission was correct – until the Goa'uld mother ship had landed and Jaffa by the thousands had begun to pour out.

"Major!" he called again.

Just then he heard the 'kawoosh' of the gate. "Go, go, go", he shouted, as Jaffa began to shoot their staff weapons. He ran towards the gate and watched as Daniel threw himself through the event horizon and Carter raced towards the steps. At that precise moment a ship flew overhead, strafing weapons fire directly at the gate.

"GET OUT OF THERE MAJOR", he screamed. He veered off to the side of the gate and managed to pull Carter away from the steps just as they blew into a thousand pieces. The gate itself toppled over with a loud 'boom'. So much for getting home that way!

He continued to run, his hand holding tightly onto Carter's arm. The Jaffa hadn't arrived at the gate by the time it had been hit so hopefully hadn't seen that they hadn't made it through. Still, he was taking no chances and was intent on getting them as far away as possible. Right now his only thought was to keep them from getting killed or captured. He didn't even want to think about the fact that they were well and truly stuck.

They must have been running for almost an hour before he finally brought them to a halt. Neither of them could speak – they were working too hard to get enough air into their lungs. They were both sopping wet with sweat and were covered in dust and dirt. He was wheezing and Carter was bent over, holding onto her knees, trying desperately to just breathe.

"You – okay", he managed to gasp out after another few minutes.

"Y – es Sir", she panted in reply. "You?"

"Fine – almost – dead – but – fine."

She nodded and even that seemed to be almost more than she could handle. They were hiding off the trail, in a small cave that was really more of a dimple in the side of the hill. They hadn't heard any sounds of pursuit for a long while now so Jack figured they were safe – for the moment.

It was almost fifteen minutes before they were both rested enough after their frantic dash to be able to speak. Jack stood up straight and wiped his face with a handkerchief he pulled from his pocket. "Well, that was fun!"

"Yes Sir", she grinned slightly. "I'm sorry -"

Jack held up his hand. "Stop Major. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"But if I'd been faster -"

"Faster? What, in dialing the gate?"

"Yes Sir."

"Carter – Sam – you were going as fast as humanly possible. Rumors to the contrary, you're not superwoman! And anyway, you got Daniel home and he'll make sure Hammond knows what's happening so they can send help."

"But Colonel – it'll take days for a ship to get here, even if we had one available."

"They'll call the Tokra. I'm sure your Dad will be eager to come and get us."

"He's probably on a mission somewhere", she said, sounding dejected.

"Carter – it's _my_ job to be the grumpy, cynical one on missions, not yours! Daniel will explain, Hammond will call the Tokra – who will immediately send Jacob, and we'll be home in no time. Just have faith!"

"What if the Jaffa are still looking for us?"

Jack sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. "Then we'll just have to make sure they don't find us!"

Which, in the end, was easier said than done! For the next four days the two of them played cat and mouse with what seemed like hundreds of Jaffa, although Sam estimated it was more like twenty or thirty. They probably didn't know who it was they were searching for, but that didn't stop them. These Jaffa were obstinate and were determined to capture them – whoever they were.

By the end of the fourth day both of them were worn to the bone. Their food had run out after day three and they hadn't had time to try and find anything else to eat. They had water, although Carter wasn't sure how safe the supply was on the planet. Still, they had enough purification tablets to last them a couple more days so Jack hoped they weren't going to get some kind of alien dysentery.

The worst part was that neither of them had had more than a few minutes of sleep since they gate had been destroyed. The Jaffa were relentless, both day and night, and they couldn't afford to let down their guard. Jack had insisted on short stops and 'cat naps' for both of them – but it wasn't enough and he knew they were both in danger of collapsing due to exhaustion and lack of sleep. They couldn't go on like this.

"We have to get out of here Major", he finally said when it appeared as if the latest group of Jaffa following them had stopped for a short break. "We can't keep going like this."

"Where can we go Sir? We've been trying to get away from these guys for days."

"I think we should go back", he told her softly.

"Back?" She looked at him in confusion. "Back where sir."

"To the Goa'uld encampment."

"What? But Sir – that's – there are thousands of Jaffa there."

"I know. There are also ships there _and_ they won't be expecting us to head that way. Look Major, you know as well as I do that it's unlikely that the Tokra – even if they respond to Hammond – will be able to rescue us, not with a mother ship and so many Jaffa here. We can't last much longer like this, we're both exhausted and short on food and water. We need to go and capture one of the Tel'taks or if we can't get one of those then we'll grab a Death Glider and get off this god-forsaken planet. We'll _fly_ home", he said, when it appeared she didn't understand him.

"But – you're planning to _steal a ship_?"

"Yes Major. _What_?" he asked at her incredulous look. "You have a moral problem with that or something?"

"No, of course not Sir. It's just – it's suicide."

"Only if we get caught. Come on, we've done crazier things."

"We have?" At his look she finally nodded. She knew he was right – there really was no other way. She'd known, right from the beginning, that the chance of rescue was slim to none. She also knew that _he_ had known that as well. With a sigh she straightened up. "Okay Colonel, I'm ready when you are."

"That's my – uh – soldier!" he grinned.

She wanted to giggle at him – his face was black from dirt, which only emphasized the paleness and exhaustion of his face. But when he smiled, he looked wonderful – and at least ten years younger. She knew at that moment, like she'd known so many times in the past, that she'd follow this man into hell if he asked.

They slowly – they really couldn't travel any other way by this time – made their way towards the Goa'uld encampment. He'd been right that it wasn't expected so they were lucky not to see any Jaffa patrols. It would change as they grew closer, but for now they could move pretty much in a straight line without being seen.

They'd been travelling for what seemed like days towards the encampment – in reality it was close to ten hours – when suddenly he raised his hand and came to a dead stop. She stopped breathing, knowing that he'd heard something – something that wasn't natural to this planet. She saw his silent message and carefully faded back into the bushes, where she remained, frozen and totally quiet.

It was a small group – only six men – that passed. They appeared to be returning from a patrol and obviously weren't looking for anyone. A couple of them were talking and no one, fortunately, spotted the two hidden Tauri. After they'd gone by both of them waited for almost five minutes before Jack slowly emerged from the foliage. Sam quickly followed, surprised that her heart was still thumping wildly. It had been close.

"Well", he spoke very quietly, "that got the adrenaline going!"

She had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. That was the Colonel's way of acknowledging that he too had been frightened – but also his way of lightening things up. God, she – respected – this man!

They finally made their way to a hill over-looking the encampment. They were able to hide in a thick copse of trees and bushes, and settled down just as the sun peeked over the horizon. Daylight was breaking and they were too close to keep moving.

"Time to rest Major", the Colonel told her. "I'll take first watch. You get some shut-eye."

"You're sure you'll be okay Colonel?"

"I'll be fine Major – I've done this once or twice before", he answered. The words were sarcastic – and she knew it was called for – but he was so exhausted it came out seriously, so she just nodded.

"Okay Sir. I'll take second watch." She yawned and laid down, using her small pack as a pillow.

"Sleep tight Major", he said softly. He watched her for a moment until she was asleep and then sat up to keep watch over her.

They took turns resting throughout the day but as tired as they both were, neither of them could sleep for long. For one, it was too uncomfortable. The main reason however, was both of them were too nervous, too excited about what they were about to attempt. They knew that there was only a small chance that they'd succeed and that they'd probably both be dead – or prisoners – by morning. Still, they had to try.

There was only another hour until it was fully dark and both of them were sitting, side by side, looking down at the camp. They had said very little throughout the day – there was no need. Now however, the Colonel began to speak.

"If we're captured Major -"

"Don't say that Sir", she pleaded. "It'll be okay."

"Carter – Sam – you know that there's a good chance that this won't work."

She took a deep breath in. "Yeah, but we've got to try."

"Of course we do", he looked at her in exasperation, tempered with affection. "But still ….." He sat quietly for a moment. "Sam, can I ask you something?"

"Of course Colonel."

"It's a favor – and I shouldn't but.."

"What Sir?" she said gently.

"I'd rather – not – have one of those things in my head again", he told her, referring to the Goa'uld. "Twice is more than enough for anyone." He looked at her and gave her a small smile. "So – I know this is an awful thing to ask, but if it's a choice between that and – dying – I'd rather die – you know."

"What are you saying Sir?" she whispered, her eyes growing large.

"That if they're gonna put a Goa'uld in me, and you can stop them – then do it, whatever the cost. Please Major? Just make sure there's nothing left of me to use as a host." He knew what he was asking her was unfair and more than anyone should ever ask of another person but he knew he would lose his mind if they put another Goa'uld in his head. He still had nightmares of the time Hathor … and he didn't even want to _think_ about Kanan. Both experiences had left lasting scars. He was afraid a third time would destroy him and he'd rather die – as Jack O'Neill.

"Okay Sir, under one condition", she looked at him and her eyes held his and her expression was determined. "If you do the same for me."

His recoiled in horror. No – there was _no_ way he could ever – not Carter, not Sam.

"Sir – please? I can't handle the idea either, not after Jolinar. Please?"

He closed his eyes briefly and then nodded. "Okay Carter – deal." After a few seconds he opened his eyes again and grinned. "But neither of us are going to have to do – that – since we're getting off this planet and flying home."

"Yes Sir! she smiled in relief. "Let's do it Colonel!"

They snuck carefully towards the field the Goa'uld were using as a landing area. They counted three Tel'taks and even more Death Gliders. Most of the Gliders were fitted out with a single pilot seat, but there were a few double ones. As they looked down, it soon became obvious that there were way too many guards around the Tel'taks. It would have to be a Death Glider.

"Those two over there seem to be the least guarded", Carter whispered. She pointed over to the far side of the field. There were two Gliders which seemed to be slightly separated from the others and there were no guards close by.

"Let's head over", O'Neill nodded. "You first. I'll watch your six." He waited while she slowly made her way towards the two Gliders. She kept in the shadows and moved only when sure that no one was looking her way. He couldn't help but be proud of his Major as he watched her. She was a helluva soldier.

She was within twenty meters of the furthest Glider when she stopped and turned towards him. With that he began to follow, being as careful as her not to be seen. It took a long time – he had to go slowly – but eventually he was standing beside her. They waited for a few more moments and then he nodded. "Okay, you go first again and see if you can make it inside one of them. When I know you're in safely I'll follow. Be careful Carter!"

"You too Sir", she gave him a swift smile and then checked carefully to make sure no one was around and finally headed out. This was the most dangerous part. They'd have to travel the last bit through the open field. Anyone who happened to look at the wrong moment couldn't help but see them.

When Sam made it to the first Death Glider he breathed a sigh of relief. Doing another careful check he began his own journey. Even though it wasn't far, he felt like it took forever and that he was right in the middle of a firing range. He kept expecting to hear a shout at any moment – and then a volley of staff weapon fire.

By the time he made it he was sweating profusely. He was glad it was nighttime so that Carter couldn't see him. That had been a harrowing trip – to say the least.

"How's it look", he whispered as he climbed on board. Carter was in the co-pilot seat, checking out the controls.

"Okay, I think, although the panel was off the front. I just hope it runs smoothly."

He sat down in the pilot's seat and began to do a quick check of his own. He'd been in one of these before so had a general idea of how they worked. He and Teal'c had also done their little jaunt towards the Ordt Cloud – which had given him some familiarity with these beasts, even though that had been an Earth modified vessel.

"Looks okay down here", he whispered back. "Shall we start her up?"

"Uh", Sam did one final check. "Okay Colonel – I think she's good to go."

Jack couldn't believe they'd actually made it this far without interference. In fact, it kind of bothered him and he found himself hesitating as he reached for the control to start the thing. His 'spidey' sense was telling him something was wrong. "You sure we're good to go?" he asked, one last time.

"As far as I can tell Sir – yes – although I can't promise."

"And why not Carter", he muttered to himself. "Okay then Major – here goes nothing!" He pushed the button – and pulled the lever – and did everything he was sure he was supposed to do – and nothing happened. Crap! They'd gotten a dud.

"Didn't work Major!" He said, although he figured it was probably pretty obvious.

"I'm sorry Sir – let me just -" He could picture her, her tongue sticking out and her hands flying – a look of total concentration on her face – while she performed her usual miracles. "Alright – that should be it. Try it again!"

That, of course, was when things hit the fan. He heard a shout from outside, and looked down to see a Jaffa staring at him, his staff weapon pointed directly at his head. Shit! "Okay Major – hold on!" He pushed, pulled and swore – and the engine, or whatever the hell the thing had – started with a roar. He jerked his head back when the staff weapon discharge hit the cover of the Death Glider. He sure hoped these things were bullet – or staff – proof!

He concentrated on getting the thing off the ground, while part of him watched as more and more Jaffa appeared. Finally in the air, Jack looked down and pushed the control forward as far and as fast as he could. The next thing he knew they were in the atmosphere above the planet – and his stomach had risen to the back of his throat.

For the first time in days he was grateful he hadn't had anything to eat, as it would have been plastered all over the inside window. It took him a moment to reorient himself – that had been one hell of a ride.

"You okay back there?" he shouted.

"Yes Sir!" her voice spoke gently into his ear. It was then he realized that he hadn't turned on his mike or done up his helmet. He quickly did so. "Carter?" he said into the headset.

"I'm here Sir. That was – uh"

"Yeah, I know", he grinned. "Sorry about that!"

"It's okay Sir – I'm just glad you got us out of there. I was – a bit worried when I saw all the Jaffa."

"You and me both Carter! So, now where – HELL!" the explosion just missed the Glider. Jack watched as another Death Glider whizzed on by and then turned, ready to fire again. "Let's get out of here!" he yanked on the controls and soon was engaged in a dog fight in space. There were three Gliders on his tail and he knew the chances of downing them all were slim. "_Major_?"

"I'm – almost – ready Sir. Hit it Sir!"

Hit it? Oh – he pressed the hyperdrive control and space turned into a stream of light and colors. He always found this part to be both beautiful and terrifying. Right now though, his main reaction was one of relief. He'd thought they were gonners there for a few seconds.

"Something's wrong Sir", Sam's voice – her worried voice – interrupted his moment of relief.

"What is it?"

"I don't know – the controls are -"

Her voice stopped as she obviously attempted _something_ back there. At the same moment he felt a shudder move through the ship. "Okay", he muttered, "_that_ isn't supposed to happen." The shuddering grew and he began to get really worried. He wondered what happened to ships – and people – if they had an accident while in hyperspace. He didn't want to find out.

Without warning everything grew quiet. He glanced around to see space looking – normal – once more. They'd dropped out of hyperdrive and were travelling at regular speed. "Uh – what happened Carter?"

There was silence and he began to worry that something had happened to her – when her voice popped up in his ears again. "Uh – something is wrong with the ship Sir. We couldn't maintain the drive."

"I kind of got that. Can you get it fixed?"

"No – in fact – the systems seem to be shutting down. I think – I think this ship was in for maintenance or something."

"The systems are shutting down? Can you clarify what you mean by that Major?"

"I mean – we need to land this thing soon Sir, before she falls apart."

"Crap! Okay – how far are we from Earth?"

The silence should have warned him, but it didn't. He'd just assumed that they'd exited hyperdrive in approximately the right place.

"I don't know", she answered quietly. "I – don't know where we are Colonel."

"You don't know _exactly_, right Major? I mean, you know _sort of_ – right?"

"No Sir. I have no idea. I have found a planet that seems to have a breathable atmosphere though."

"That's nice – but I'd really rather you found a planet with either a gate – or that's named Earth. Can you do that?"

"I'm sorry Sir." There was another shudder through the ship.

"Okay – let's get this thing down. We'll fix her up and then figure out where we are. Coordinates Major!"

"Yes Sir." She input some numbers on the computer and he turned the ship. The shuddering continued and soon was so bad it felt like the ship was going to fly apart. It took all Jack's strength to keep her on course and descending at an angle that wouldn't get them burned up. "You sure this place is okay?" he yelled. It was almost impossible to hear one another through all the noise.

"What?" she called back.

He stopped talking and simply focused on landing the aircraft in one piece. He knew it was going to be tricky.

They hit the ground way too fast and flipped over a number of times. Jack suddenly knew what it must feel like to be put in a blender.

He heard the screeching of metal and the bangs as the craft hit trees – he was sure it was trees – and other objects. He tried not to think about Carter – just praying that she was okay and that she'd survive – that they'd both survive.

As the Glider came to an abrupt stop – hitting something outside – it became suddenly and absolutely quiet. There was no sound once the craft had settled down – lying on its side, it's hull twisted and scarred.

The two on the inside didn't feel the last impact and didn't hear the final screeching of metal as it hit trees and rocks – and they didn't hear the eventual silence. For inside the vessel, were the still bodies of two people – bruised and bloody – completely dead to the world.


	2. Waking Up

_**Wow – thank you to all of you for your wonderful reviews! I can see I'm not the only one who likes 'lost on an alien planet' fics (smile). One of my lovely readers listed some of the various scenarios I've put my J and S through – and some of the places (LOL). I hadn't realized quite how many I've done – but heck – why not! To follow is another scenario, and world, I haven't used before. I hope you all continue to enjoy.**_

The first thing she noticed was that her head hurt. She sat totally still, knowing that any movement would probably cause it to explode. After a second she forced herself to open her eyes, although she quickly closed them again when things began swooping in circles.

Okay – probably a concussion, or at least a severe knock on the head! She tried to take a deep breath, to reduce the nausea that was building. Once she'd gotten that settled down, a bit, she tried to figure out where she was and what had happened.

Nothing came to her, although she slowly started to take an inventory of what else hurt – and to figure out, at least, where she was. Other than the head injury she didn't think there was too much seriously wrong with her, at least not that she could tell. She was sore – but figured it was mostly cuts and bruises – she groaned slightly when she tried to move her legs – okay, _deep_ bruises.

Once satisfied that she wasn't bleeding to death, or in imminent danger of dying, she turned her attention to her location. She knew she was somehow strapped in to something and, after a quick peek, figured out that she was in an aircraft. Another look told her it was a – she stopped and had to think really hard – it was a, a _Death Glider_! She was in a Goa'uld Death Glider.

That made her stop. What the hell? _Why_ was she in a Glider and how the hell had she got here? She tried to shake her head – "Ow! Big mistake Samantha", she hissed. She finally just blinked a few times and looked around the small section of the ship that enclosed her sore but seemingly intact body.

Okay – she was lying on her side – or at least the ship was lying on _its_ side and since she was strapped into a seat – "okay, okay", she muttered. So, she was in a Death Glider that had clearly crashed. But she still had no idea _where_ she was or why she was in a Goa'uld ship. She could only assume she'd been on a mission. She frowned again. But where were her teammates?

It was at that moment that it dawned on her that she wasn't in the pilot's seat. She was in the _co-pilot's_ seat of a two-seater Glider. "Damn!" What was wrong with her? "Hello!" she called. She looked forward and realized that she could see the back of someone's head. Since it was encased in a helmet, she had no idea who it was. She prayed it was one of her teammates, although she supposed it could be a Jaffa, or even a Goa'uld.

She fiddled with the straps that were holding her to her seat and eventually got them undone. Of course that resulted in her falling slightly, because of the angle of the ship. Still, she managed to move around and attempted to crawl over the top of the seat in front of her and get a look at who was there. So far the person hadn't moved – which meant they were either hurt, or dead. "If you're Daniel or Teal'c or the Colonel", she muttered, "you better not be dead!'

"Hello", she called again, having a hard time getting around. Every part of her ached and the amount of space was limited. With a few choice curse words she finally made it over the seat and practically ended up in the pilot's lap, forcing herself back at the last moment so she was perched on top of the seat!

She still couldn't tell who it was as his – or her – head was flopped forward and the helmet obscured the face. She gently reached and lifted the person's head –

"Colonel!" God – praying that he was simply unconscious, she removed his helmet as quickly as she could and felt his neck for a pulse. She was shaking so badly – from fear and reaction to the accident – that it took a few seconds before she found it.

"Thank god!, she murmured. His pulse seemed strong, if a little slow. "Sir? Colonel! COLONEL O'NEILL!" she practically shouted. It took a few seconds but she finally saw his eyes move under the lids and then watched as he attempted to take a deep breath. It was a few more seconds before his eyes opened – and then were quickly slammed shut.

"Aaargh!"

"Are you okay Sir?"

Pause. "No."

"Where are you hurt?" she looked frantically down at him but thankfully didn't see any blood – other than a few scratches. "Sir, tell me – where are you hurt?"

"Everywhere", he muttered. "What happened?"

She breathed a slight sigh of relief, although she still worried that there might be some kind of serious injury. "Uh – we're in a Goa'uld Death Glider."

His eyes flew open. "_What_? What the hell are we doing in a Death Glider?"

"Uh – I have no idea Sir. I just woke up a few minutes ago myself. It appears we – crashed!"

"Damn – was I driving?" He looked around, noticing that he was in the pilot's seat. "Don't tell anyone Carter. It'll destroy my reputation."

She grinned – and felt herself begin to really relax. He must be okay. "I won't Sir. Uh – maybe we should try and get out of here. I don't know how stable it is."

"_Can_ we?" He looked around and began to fumble for his harness. "I mean, we're not floating in space or anything are we? I wouldn't want to pop the hatch and find out there is no – anything."

She could have cursed at herself – she hadn't even thought to check to see whether they were on a planet or inside a Goa'uld mother ship or what. She was pretty sure they weren't floating in space – not if the angle they were sitting at was any indication. "I'll check Sir", she told him. She then began to scramble to try and look outside the window of the Glider.

"Shouldn't we check the instruments as well?" he asked gently.

She stopped dead, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. That she had a concussion and had just survived some kind of accident wasn't an excuse – at least she wasn't about to give herself that kind of leeway. "Uh – yes Sir. I just wanted to see what -"

"Good – you check that out Carter. I'll see what I can -" his voice faded as he began to try and check the instruments. After a few seconds it became obvious that everything was dead. "Nothing here Carter. Looks like the battery is dead."

"These ships don't have b – oh, you were joking?"

"Yes Carter, I was joking." He sighed. "What do you see?" She was perched precariously on the top of his seat and was looking out the window. It was an awkward position and he figured she couldn't tell very much at all.

"I see – I think it's – a tree Sir."

"Of course it is Carter", he sighed again. "It's _always_ a tree."

"What?" she looked down at him in confusion.

"Nothing. Is there anything else?"

"Uh – I see blue sky and clouds."

"Blue sky – do you think we're on Earth? Maybe we were doing a test flight or something and instead of being catapulted out to space _this_ craft sent us into a tree. I figure that would be another nasty Goa'uld trick."

"It could be Sir – I mean that we're on Earth. I doubt the Goa'uld would plan for us to hit a tree."

"I don't know about that Major. They're a vicious bunch."

"That they are Sir", she grinned. After it became obvious she wouldn't be able to see any more, she slowly climbed down until she was behind him again. "What should we do Sir?"

"Well, we can't stay here – my bladder won't last that long. I say we pop the hood and get the hell out of this contraption."

"What if the atmosphere -"

"Carter! What did I tell you about being cynical? Just have faith."

"Okay." She wondered briefly what he _had_ told her about being cynical, but then decided that could wait. "Do the controls work?"

"The – oh, you mean to release the canopy?"

"Yes Sir."

"Let's – see." He pushed the button and – of course – nothing happened. "Nope – doesn't work." That instantly brought a quick memory. "I think this machine was a lemon Carter. I seem to remember it didn't work right from the beginning. We should see if we can get our money back."

The memories were starting to return for her too. "I think you're right Colonel. I think we'll have to try and do it manually." She looked around and murmured quietly. "I _hope_ they have manual controls on these things."

"What was that Major?"

"Uh, nothing Sir. Can you see the controls for the canopy where you are?"

She could see his head begin to move as he looked around. "I think –" he reached up and tugged on something. "I think this might be it, but it looks like it's jammed." He tugged harder, eventually grabbing the handle with both hands and pulling with all his might. There was a groan of metal, but nothing else happened. "I may need you here Carter. Can you climb over to my side?"

"I think so", she told him. With another few – silent – curses she managed to climb over the back of the Colonel's seat and land –

"Oooph! Watch that Major", he gasped as she landed with her foot right in his lap. "Oh – damn!"

"Are you okay Sir?" she moved quickly, causing him to gasp once more.

"I was Major – but now – crap!"

"I'm so sorry Sir!" she cried, mortified that she'd landed – there – and had clearly caused him real pain.

"That's okay Major – what's a kick in the nuts between friends!"

"I _am_ really sorry. I didn't mean -"

He took a deep breath. "I know you didn't Major – it was an accident. Next time just" he waived his hand "watch where you put your feet!"

"I will Sir!"

"Okay – let's get out of here. I'm tired of this ship. The Goa'uld really need to learn to build more comfortable fighters."

For the next few minutes the two of them tugged, with all their strength, on the lever which was supposed to open the canopy. It continued to groan, as they pulled, but there was little movement until suddenly, without warning, the canopy popped back and away from them.

The two officers froze – not sure what was going to happen. They had both stopped breathing the moment the ship opened, but even if the atmosphere _was_ toxic, they couldn't hold their breath forever. It was Jack who finally just went for it and took a deep breath. When nothing happened, he breathed again, and again. Then he smiled.

"Go for it Major. The air seems fine."

She smiled in relief and immediately began breathing. "Thank god", she finally said. "I was afraid we were going to find out there was no oxygen at all."

"Nope – we're in luck – for once. Come on, let's get out of here and see what we can see."

Sam was able to climb up and onto the top of the Death Glider first. Finally freed from the ship she was able to look around.

"What do you see Carter?" O'Neill called. He was attempting to stand so he could pull himself up but he'd found out that he wasn't as okay as he'd thought. There was very definitely something wrong with his left leg. Crap! He couldn't put any weight on it at all. Either it was a bad sprain, or it was broken. Just what they needed.

"Uh – it looks like we landed in a field. I can see skid marks behind us. It _was_ a tree – or trees – that stopped us. I don't see any people or buildings – nothing but fields and trees."

"Do you think we're on Earth?" he asked.

She looked around again and tried to determine if they were on their home planet. Things looked familiar – the plants and trees no different that many she'd seen on Earth. But – "I don't think so Colonel", she finally told him. "The atmosphere seems – different – somehow."

"Different? How?"

"I don't know quite how to explain in Sir. It just looks – not like Earth. It's the air quality or light or something but it seems different."

"Different", he muttered. "Leave it to a scientist to give such a _technical_ explanation!"

"What's that Colonel?"

"Nothing Major, nothing. Uh, can you give me a hand?" he asked. "My leg is a bit – sore."

She frowned and pulled herself over so she was lying flat on her stomach on the ship, looking down into the cockpit. "Did you hurt it Sir?"

"Yes Major – I did. Now give me a hand." He reached up with one arm and with the other attempted to climb out, using only one leg.

Sam ended up having to practically pull the Colonel out of the ship. She watched carefully and could tell that his leg was in bad shape. Fortunately there was no blood, but he didn't seem to be using it at all. "Do you think it's broken Sir?" she asked, when he'd finally made it up. He was also lying on his stomach, panting madly.

"Don't know", he finally gasped out. "Could be."

"Damn!"

"Yeah – you can – say that – again", he gasped again.

"Let's get down and I'll take a look", she informed him, while she was looking around to see if there was anything that would help them. Their packs! Damn, they were both inside the Glider. "I'm going to climb back in and get our packs. There's not much left but I do have a first aid kit in there."

"Fine", he told her, feeling remarkably tired and woozy. "I'll just get down and do a check to see -"

"Sir, don't be ridiculous", she said sharply.

He lifted his head in surprise. "What Major?" he snapped.

"Sorry Sir", she sighed and rubbed her hand through her hair. "I didn't mean it to come out like that but – please wait for me and I'll help you down. You don't want to do more damage to that leg."

He bit his lip and then nodded. She was being sensible – and he was being an ass. "Okay – and it's – alright Major. We're both a bit rattled from crash landing _somewhere_ in a Goa'uld Glider."

She smiled in gratitude and touched his arm briefly, she then swung back down into the ship. After a few moments a pack came sailing up, barely missing him before sliding down the side of the ship and hitting the ground. Soon the second pack appeared and followed its brother down onto alien soil. He had a brief thought that he hoped she didn't do the same with him. He grinned when he pictured his Major tossing him over the side of the ship.

"Okay Colonel, let's get you down."

"You're not going to -?" he made a throwing motion with his arm.

"No Sir", she grinned, "unless you want me to?"

"Uh – no."

"I actually brought this", she held up the thin nylon cord they both carried in their packs. It was useful for many things and didn't take up much room.

He watched as she turned it into a harness and then helped him put it around his shoulders and under his arms. She then tossed the end of the rope around one of the hinges on the open canopy. "I think that should hold sir."

"You _think?_" He looked at the rope and the hinge and then at Carter, who was grinning slightly. "Okay Major – my life is now in your hands." He glanced down at the ground, which was all of ten or twelve feet away.

Carter slowly lowered him with the harness. He was able to help with both his arms and one leg – which he used to rappel down the side of the ship. His other leg hurt like hell, but he didn't say anything. There was no point.

He was halfway down when he realized it wasn't _only_ his leg. His chest felt tight and very sore – and he realized it was probably deeply bruised from the seat harness he'd had on. It had saved his life – clearly – but he'd suffer for it now. He was pretty sure Carter must be dealing with the same thing.

He also had a whole host of other bruises and contusions but didn't think there was anything too seriously wrong – or at least not something that wouldn't heal over time.

The question was – did they _have_ time? He still had no idea where they were, although he was starting to remember. Before he touched ground he _had_ remembered trying to steal the ship and escape off the Jaffa-filled planet. He swore at himself. They should have stayed put. He suddenly worried that he might have made the worst call of his career.

"Are you okay Colonel?" Sam called down. She must have heard him swearing and thought he was in pain.

"I'm fine Major. You'd better come down now."

She dropped down beside him a few seconds later. It was only now, that they were both on solid ground, that he truly saw her. She looked like crap!

"Are you okay Major?" he asked sharply. "You're bleeding!"

"I am?" she asked in surprise. She lifted her hand to her temple and brought it away, red with blood. "I didn't realize I'd gotten a cut."

"Come on", he patted the ground beside him. "You need some first aid too. Let me look at that."

"I think I should look at your leg first Colonel."

"Uh uh. You know the rules Carter – open wounds and blood first, _then_ you can look at mine."

She sighed and sat down beside him, pulling both of their packs within reaching distance. She fumbled around in her pack until she pulled out the kit. "Here", she handed it to the Colonel, knowing he was right. She then waited patiently while he got out the supplies.

She tried to remember if he'd ever performed first aid on her before. Usually _she_ was the one administering aid. The few times she'd been hurt on missions it had been Daniel who had helped her. Still, she knew that the Colonel was up on all his field training so he had to know what to do. Somehow though, it made her nervous. It wasn't that she thought he'd be less than competent, she just – felt strange having him look after her like this.

"It doesn't look too deep", the Colonel told her. He'd put on a pair of the sterile gloves that were in the kit and had made her bend forward. He parted her hair and gently touched her scalp and skull around the wound. "There's only a small bump and the skull seems okay. Are you dizzy, nauseated? Any double vision, headache, disorientation, etc, etc.?"

"A bit of a headache and I was feeling nauseous but that's gotten better. I expect I have a slight concussion."

He frowned, not liking the sound of that. "Okay. Well, I'm going to clean this up and bandage it. You'll have to stay awake for awhile until we're sure you're okay."

She nodded, knowing the routine, although right now the idea of sleep sounded amazing. She sat there for the next few moments as the Colonel fixed her up. She marveled silently at how gentle and competent he was. She shouldn't be surprised – he'd probably had to do this dozens of times in his career. Still, she had to admit – deep down in the total privacy of her thoughts – that she quite enjoyed the experience.

"There! All done." O'Neill sat back, looking rather pale and sweaty, although rather pleased with himself. "I think you'll be okay Major – and the scar won't show."

"Scar?"

"In your hairline. You can add it to that one", he pointed generally in the vicinity of her stomach and then grinned.

She groaned and closed her eyes. "I thought you would have forgotten about that by now Sir."

"What? You're kidding, right Carter. Believe me, when a – uh gor – er _attractive_ woman throws herself at you, you don't _ever_ forget it."

"It was alien influence Sir."

"Of course it was Major", he smirked. "What was it Janet said about 'alpha male?", he said softly.

Sam sighed and shook her head, but she couldn't stop the grin. "Now let me look at that leg Sir", she told him.

This time it was he who sighed as he leaned back on his hands and prepared for the worst. He couldn't help but remember back to Antarctica. That had not been fun.

He bit his lip as Carter gently pressed on his leg through his pants. "Ow!" he cried when she got to a spot just below his knee. She looked up quickly at his cry of pain.

"That hurts Colonel?"

"No Major", he griped. "I say 'ow' when things tickle!"

She ignored the sarcasm. "How badly Sir and please – be honest."

"Uh", he grimaced, hating this but knowing she had to know. "Pretty sore Major. I think part of the front control panel broke off in the accident and jammed against my leg."

"You think?"

He glared at her. "Fine – I _know_ it did."

"I'll need to take a look Sir. It doesn't look as if it's bleeding, but I need to see if it's broken."

"You want me to take off my pants", he said in a resigned voice.

"Yes Sir", she smiled slightly.

"Okay – but you're not about to claim alien influence this time."

"Well Sir – since it _was_ an alien ship that did the damage …"

"Fine!" he glared at her again and then began to work his belt. Once that was loose he lowered the zipper and began to wiggle his way out of the pants. It hurt and it was difficult but he knew he had no choice.

"Need some help?" Carter asked, her face blank.

"No! I've been getting undressed by myself for years Carter."

She nodded and began to arrange the supplies from the first aid kit. He knew it was more to give him a semblance of privacy rather than because she needed to do it. Still, he was grateful.

"Uh – you'll need to pull them off my injured leg", he finally admitted. It hurt too badly to try and do it himself.

She nodded and gently eased the leg off, which left him sitting on some alien planet somewhere, in just his boxers.

He glanced down at his leg and wanted to curse. It was swollen to twice its size and showed a brilliant display of multi-colored bruises. There was a cut across the shin bone but it had stopped bleeding and wasn't bad enough to be a danger to him.

"I'll just clean this up and then have a closer look", she told him. She spent the next few moments using disinfectant and then taping gauze over the cut. The then began to gently feel the area.

He wanted to jerk his leg back and had to press his lips together to keep from crying out. It hurt like crazy! "I think it's broken", he finally admitted.

"I think so too", she agreed gently. "I don't think it's too bad a break – at least it's not a compound fracture. I'll have to set it though."

He nodded, resigned to having to go through this for a second time. It was just his luck! What was worse, of course, was the fact that he would be unable to get around very easily. He'd have to send Sam out to do the investigating while he sat on his butt.

"Damn!" he cursed and clenched his hands as she pulled. He began to pound his fists on the ground and threw his head back in agony. He wasn't going to say anything this time. He wasn't going to complain. He wasn't – "God – are you done?"

"Just about – there! I'm sorry Colonel – I know that hurt."

"It's okay Major." He tried to smile, although he was feeling pretty faint. "I think you've improved since the last time."

"Thank you Sir."

He suddenly felt a cool cloth wiping his forehead and the relief was immediate. He did briefly worry that she was using their precious water for this but then shrugged. It wasn't going to last for long – and if they didn't find a fresh source they'd soon be toast anyway.

"Here Sir." Sam reached out and placed some tablets in his hand. "For pain."

He nodded and took all four and then rested his head back down on the ground. He could feel himself begin to fade out and tried to stop it from happening, but soon he was sound asleep.

Sam looked around the small area they were in and sighed. She had remembered everything as well and knew that they were well and truly lost. She just prayed that the planet they were on had a gate so they could get home.

She glanced down at the Colonel and smiled. Even though his injury was going to make it difficult for them to travel, she was grateful he was the one with her. She moved closer to him. Somehow, he always managed to give her hope.


	3. Healing

He woke with a start, his body twitching slightly and then he opened his eyes. He felt disoriented but knew something wasn't right. He hurt, and it was more than simple aches and pains after a mission. His leg was burning fiercely and the rest of him didn't feel so good either. He knew enough not to move, at least not until he could do so in a controlled manner that wouldn't result in more pain and the possibility of losing the contents of his stomach.

He swallowed, or at least tried to, and realized at that moment that he was as thirsty as he was uncomfortable. He desperately needed a drink and decided it was worth it to try and move - unless he could get Carter to get it for him. "Carter?" he called. When there was no answer he turned his head, trying to see her. "Carter?" he said again. When there was still no answer he began to grow worried and finally rolled over onto his side to look for her. "Crap", he hissed. That hurt. "Carter?"

"Sir?" She rushed over to where he was lying and knelt down beside him. "You shouldn't be moving."

His relief was such that he snapped at her. "I wouldn't have had to if you'd answered when I called!"

"Sorry. I just went to see if I could get some water." She looked him over carefully, knowing that his mood was most likely a result of the pain he was in and the fact that he'd probably been frightened when she hadn't answered him.

"Did you find any?" he asked, instantly forgetting his fear in the desperate need for a drink.

She held up her canteen. "Yes. There's a stream a few hundred feet away. I filled up both our canteens – _and_ we still have a few purification tablets left." She handed him the water, when he practically grabbed out of her hand. He took a few swigs, relishing the feel of the cool liquid as it ran down his throat. Right now he couldn't have cared less if it contained cyanide. His throat felt like the Sahara desert.

He lowered the canteen, knowing he had to be careful not to drink too much too fast. "You okay?" he asked, feeling badly that he'd snapped at her. He regarded her carefully, noticing how pale and drawn she looked.

"I'm fine Sir, it's you I'm worried about."

He narrowed his eyes, knowing she was deflecting his concern – but as there really wasn't anything he could do about it right now he let it go. "I'm okay."

"Does your leg hurt?" She immediately grimaced. "Sorry, of course it does. The pain pills will be wearing off so let me get you some more."

After she'd handed them to him, and he'd swallowed them with a bit more water he pushed himself back so he was in a more comfortable position. "Okay Carter – what's the situation?"

"Well, I didn't go too far since I didn't want to leave you but I did manage a perimeter sweep."

"And?"

"Nothing I'm afraid. It's pretty much countryside as far as the eye can see. I did spot a few small mammals and birds, so there is life here, although so far I haven't seen anything sentient."

"At least we have water and if there are animals there should be some kind of food supply."

"I thought of that – but didn't really feel up to laying traps." She paused. "Not that I'd be particularly good at that anyway."

"No?" He smiled slightly. "Not into hunting as a kid?"

"No Sir", she smiled back. "I was more into killing small appliances than animals", she told him, referring to her experiments as a young girl.

"Good for you!" He was starting to feel a tiny bit better after having taking the pain pills, although it was probably just wishful thinking. Still, he knew they couldn't just stay here like this. They had water, but they needed food. He was pretty sure Sam would be able to catch an animal if she had to, but he knew that wouldn't keep them alive for long.

He sighed and looked around at the trees which weren't too far away. "Can you find a branch for me to use as a crutch?" he asked her.

"I don't think -" Her eyes flipped to his and she stopped and sighed. "I'll check."

He nodded, knowing her first instinct was to argue, to tell him he had to rest. But she realized, as did he, that staying here could mean their death.

It took her almost an hour but she finally returned with a stout looking branch with a Y-notch at the top. It looked like it would do although it was a bit short.

"This is the best I could do Sir", she said, dropping down beside him.

He noticed then that she was looking terrible – her skin appeared translucent and there were big circles under her eyes. Jack felt like a complete heel for having made her search for a crutch. She clearly needed to rest.

"That looks great Major. Now rest. We'll get going in a while."

"But -"

"That's an order Major!"

"Yes Sir. She leaned over to her pack and pulled out an emergency blanket, wrapped herself in it and was out like a light. He wondered if she'd rested at all since they'd arrived. Probably not. He felt like an even bigger louse.

He watched her for a while, allowing himself to doze a bit, although he didn't sleep. Even though they hadn't seen anything remotely dangerous on this planet, he wasn't about to take any chances. Fortunately, at least for his ability to stay awake, the pain was too bothersome to allow him to sleep.

He let Carter sleep for almost four hours. He would have liked to have given her even more time, but knew they had to try to make it at least a little ways. The sun still seemed to be high in the sky, so either they'd arrived very early in the morning, or the days were longer here.

"Carter, wake up."

"Huh?" She answered, sounding confused. "What?"

"Time to get up Major", he called. "I think we'd better get moving."

Of course, getting moving was one thing, getting _up_ was another. It took all her strength, and his, to get him upright. Then there was the joy of trying to walk with a single, not very efficient crutch. Still, he managed and soon they were off.

They made very slow time but they did manage to put some distance between themselves and the downed spaceship. They stayed close to the river to ensure they had drinking water. Also, they knew that on most planets everywhere settlements tended to stay close to water.

If finally began to get dark and Jack knew they'd both reached the end of their respective ropes. His leg was killing him and he felt faint and sick. Not having eaten for a couple of days didn't help either.

"Enough Major", he said, stopping suddenly. Carter took another couple of steps and then seemed to sag. "Sam?" He looked at her in real concern. She'd looked bad before but now … God, he should have stopped before this. "Sit down!" he ordered. He was even more worried when she didn't respond, but simply seemed to melt to the ground.

He hopped over to her and awkwardly got down beside her. "Are you okay?" he asked gently. He was really starting to get worried. There was something wrong, seriously wrong, and he cursed himself for not having realized it before now.

"I'm fine Sir", she practically whispered. Her eyes were closed and she was swaying.

"Lie down Major", he commanded. He took off his pack and pulled out his blanket and covered her the moment she was horizontal. He then felt her head, only to realize she was really burning up. He didn't know what was wrong and so was afraid to give her anything. He wish he knew what to do, but other than keep her warm and hydrated he didn't have a clue."

Once he'd done what he could he watched as she fell into a restless sleep. Only then did he consider his own situation. He took a couple more pain pills for himself, took a long swig of water and curled up beside her. If there was anything dangerous on this planet – well – it would probably just come and get them. There was nothing more that he could do right now. He was too sick and in too much pain and needed to rest. Hopefully tomorrow they'd find something or someone that could help them. His choice would be to find a convenient Stargate.

He didn't plan to sleep so was angry at himself when he was woken up – and realized that he must have passed out. What made it worse was the fact that it was a voice that woke him up, a voice that was way too close. He groaned, silently and to himself. Since this mission had started he'd made one colossal mistake after another. He just prayed he hadn't just gotten them both killed.

He sensed someone kneeling beside him and pretended to be sleeping until he could figure out what was happening. The voice spoke again and was answered, so there were at least two people here. It was only then that his sluggish brain realized – the voices had been speaking English.

"The woman is in a bad way", one of the voices said next.

At that Jack's eyes opened. Carter? He turned his head to look at her but there was a body in his way. He suddenly panicked, thinking that someone was attacking her. He grunted and pushed himself up – and threw himself at whoever was kneeling over her.

He surprised the man, who had his back to him, and threw him to the ground. There was a brief fight but his leg and weakness from the accident and lack of food hindered him. Then, without warning, another person – the other voice – entered the fight. It was over soon after that and he faded out as something landed on his broken leg. His last thought was of Carter.

* * *

She woke slowly, feeling warm and comfortable. She decided she must be in the Infirmary and that soon she'd hear the click of Janet's heals. It was only as she lay there for a few more moments that she noticed that things seemed different. The sounds – no, the smells weren't quite right.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up to a grey ceiling. Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary there but it definitely wasn't the SGC Infirmary. She turned her head, to discover she _was _in some kind of hospital but things looked slightly off. Nothing looked quite as it should, even though some things seemed vaguely familiar. Not that she'd seen many of them before, it's just that she could figure out their use.

She looked down at herself next, to discover she was dressed in some kind of robe. If she hadn't been so worried and confused she would have laughed. The gown was serviceable and clean – and hideous – like hospital gowns everywhere. The important thing now was to discover what was wrong with her. She had vague memories of a crash and of being hurt but everything else was foggy.

She lifted the covers and couldn't see anything immediately, but then touched her stomach – and let out a short gasp. She quickly lifted her robe to find her abdomen covered in a large bandage. From the soreness it seemed as if she'd been hurt – or had had surgery of some kind. She grew more worried.

And what about the Colonel? He had been with her – and he'd been hurt. Where was he? Where was she? She needed to figure out what was happening. Throwing back the covers she put her legs over the side of the bed and instantly felt dizzy and week. Her wound hurt, but it didn't matter - she had to know what was happening. She began to push herself off the bed when the door to the room opened.

"What are you doing? You're going to hurt yourself." A white haired woman hurried to the bed and lifted her legs and replaced the blankets. "You can't go anywhere dear. Not yet."

* * *

Jack woke up feeling – better. There was no pain this time, although from the foggy feeling he knew the lack of pain was from medication, not from being miraculously healed. He was in some kind of hospital but, after checking out the room, he realized this wasn't any hospital on Earth, at least not like one he'd ever been in before – and he'd been in his share of them.

He remembered waking up and attacking someone who had been trying to hurt Sam. He must have been knocked unconscious as that was the last he remembered – until now. Damn! He had to find her – and make sure she was okay. He'd never forgive himself if something had happened to her.

He reached up and pulled out the IV in his arm. At least that was the same here, although the container looked different. He just hoped that whatever they'd given him was compatible for someone from Earth. Once that was out he pushed off his covers, wincing when he saw the heavy, unwieldy cast. It was a strange orange color – which he decided looked rather horrible. Still, it was keeping his leg immobile, which he knew was good. Now all he had to do was to discover if he could walk with the damn thing.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and carefully eased his way onto the floor. So far, so good. There was still no pain, or at least not much, and he seemed to be able to put weight on the cast. Now for the walking part.

He took a step forward, and then two. Finally, when it appeared as if this was working, he let go of the bed and took another step. It was then that the dizziness overtook him. "Damn!" He fell to the floor with a loud 'thump'.

"What's going – oh my goodness! What happened?" A youngish looking woman, dressed in a grey one piece uniform rushed over to him. "What have you done to yourself? Come on, let me help you back to bed."

Jack was feeling sick and dizzy and allowed the woman – nurse? – to help him. "Please?" he finally asked. "Carter – is she okay?"

"Carter? Oh, you mean the woman who was with you? Yes, she's fine – at least she is now. She was quite sick when you were found but the doctors fixed her up and she's recuperating. Now that's what you need to do too. You're not ready to be up and around yet. You had some nasty injuries yourself."

"Where is she? Please, I need to see her."

"You can't -" The woman stopped at his frantic look, and sighed. "Let me talk to the doctor and see what we can do. You have to promise to stay here though. By the way, what's your name? We couldn't find any identification on you, although that's not surprising considering what happened. You were both lucky to escape. So many didn't."

Her voice sounded terribly upset at that and Jack wondered briefly what she was talking about, but right now he was more focused on making sure Sam was okay. He'd think later about her words.

"Uh – Jack", he replied.

"Jack, nice to meet you. And your friend is Carter?"

"Yes. Please, can you check?"

"I'll go right away but you don't need to worry. She really is alright. Oh dear, you removed your tubula. I'll have to fix that. Don't worry", she interrupted at his sound of frustration, "I'll check with the doctor first and _then_ I'll be back." She walked away, shaking her head. "Some people just don't know what's good for them. Impatient!"

Jack lay back and closed his eyes. He didn't know where he was or what was happening, but right now all he could think about was Carter. Let her be okay.

* * *

The nurse who found her trying to get out of bed wouldn't give her too much information, telling her that was for 'the authorities'. She tried to ask about the Colonel, but the woman simply 'tut tutted' her and tucked her in like a small child. She was ready to scream in frustration when the door opened and a man walked in. The nurse instantly stood up straight and turned to him.

"Doctor. My patient here was trying to get out of bed."

"Thank you Nurse. How is she?"

"She seems to be fine. She didn't rip out any of the stitching but I've told her she's not up to running around."

"No", the doctor looked at Sam and smiled. "But I do think she's up to going for a bit of a ride."

Sam looked at him suspiciously, wondering what he meant. Was she going to be taken for some kind of interrogation to speak to 'the authorities'?

"A gentleman down the hallway is insistent that he see you and since he's got a broken leg I think it would be easier for you to visit him. I've arranged for a chair – if that's okay with you?" he looked again at Sam and gave her a smile.

The Colonel! Oh thank god. She closed her eyes and nodded. "Yes, please. Is he alright?"

"He's fine. Like you he had a number of injuries, the worst being the broken leg, but he's on the mend. You're doing fine as well."

"What was wrong with me?" she glanced down, thinking about the bandages.

"When you were found you were in bad shape – internal bleeding", he explained. "One of your kidneys was injured. We were able to operate and you'll be fine. We were even able to save it", he grinned. "I'm good at what I do."

She smiled back. "Thank you for that. I – didn't realize. I just thought my back and side were aching because of bruising."

"Mmm – it was pretty spectacular on both of you. You're lucky to have survived. Many didn't."

She frowned in confusion, but before she could ask what he meant the door opened and a wheelchair was pushed in. At least, that's what she assumed it was, although it looked very different from any wheelchair she'd ever seen before. Still, it looked like it was going to be able to take her where she wanted to go, so she wasn't going to complain.

"Your ride Carter", the doctor indicated the chair. At her surprised look he stopped. "Did I get it wrong? That's what the man – Jack I believe – said you are called."

"I – yes, that's right. It's actually Sam – antha, Samantha Carter."

"It is nice to meet you Samantha Carter. I am Dr. Sergei."

Sam's heart was beating fiercely as she was wheeled down the short hallway. She liked the doctor and just hoped he was what he seemed and that this was all legitimate. She could hardly wait to see –

"We are here." Dr. Sergei walked forward and pushed the door open and stuck his head inside. "Jack?"

Jack looked up in surprise to see a man, also dressed in the one-piece uniform, with his head around the door

"Yes?"

"I have someone here to see you." With that the door opened wider and a chair was wheeled in.

"Carter!"

"Sir!"

They spoke at the same time, the relief evident in both their voices.

"Carter, are you alright?" he asked as she was wheeled up beside his bed. He regarded her carefully and although she still looked slightly pale and tired, she was definitely looking better than the last time he'd seen her.

"I'm fine Sir – at least I'm getting there. It turns out I had some internal bleeding but they've fixed me up."

"I'm glad", he told her with a small smile. He breathed out a sigh of relief. He'd wondered, when he'd been beside her that last time, if she'd survive. She probably wouldn't have if they hadn't been found.

"How about you?"

"Me? Oh, you know me Carter – I'm tough. Just a broken leg although unfortunately it's keeping me down for now."

"I'll leave you two to talk", Dr. Sergei interrupted with a smile. "Just ring when you're ready to go back to your room. It was nice meeting you Samantha Carter – and you too Jack."

Sam smiled at the doctor and thanked him, Jack just nodded, suddenly feeling a jolt of antipathy for the man, although he didn't know why.

Once the door was closed the two officers from Earth looked at one another. "I'm glad you're okay Carter. I was worried there for a bit."

"Me too Colonel. I didn't know what we were going to do."

"No." He paused for a few seconds and then looked up at his second in command. "I'm sorry Sam."

"Sorry?" She looked at him, puzzled.

"For getting us into this mess. We should have stayed where we were and waited to be rescued."

"Stop it Sir", she said, angrily. "You did the right thing, you know you did. There was no way we would have survived much longer and you know it. And even though we talked about the Tokra rescuing us we both know that wouldn't have happened, not with so many Jaffa there. You saved our lives Sir."

"Maybe, but now we're – god knows where."

"And we're alive and we can find a gate and get home."

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah – see Carter, now we're doing it right."

"Right Sir?"

"Yeah – I'm the grumpy cynical one and you're the smart, optimistic one with a plan."

She laughed. "You're not cynical and you're usually the one with the great plan Colonel."

He stared at her, his eyes narrowed.

"What Sir?"

"You didn't say I wasn't grumpy!"

"Well – " she laughed again, feeling almost giddy with relief and happiness that he was alive and his usual self.

"So, we're going to get well, get out of here and find the gate?"

"I would say that's a good plan Sir."

"Good. So, in the meantime we make nice with the natives."

"That seems like the best idea."

"Any thoughts about those locals? Did that doctor say anything to you?"

"No, not really. There was one thing that was a bit odd though."

"What?"

"Well, he said something about us being lucky to have survived, that many didn't. I didn't get a chance to ask what he meant."

"That's exactly what the nurse said to me. It sounds as if something happened which affected a lot of people and they assume we were involved." He stopped and thought for a moment. "Maybe that's a good thing. I don't think we want to let on that we're not from here", he told her, "until we find out more about this place."

After Carter had left, to be wheeled back to her room, Jack stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything that had happened. He didn't know what was going to happen, or even whether they _could_ find a gate and get home. But one thing he did know – Sam was alive and she was going to be okay. No matter what else happened, he was grateful for that. And together – they could figure out the rest.

He closed his eyes and was soon sound asleep, his body and his mind still needing to heal.


	4. Refugees

_**I'm so sorry for these first few chapters, which really just give some information necessary for the plot. I promise to get to the real story very soon. Thanks again to my reviewers! You are awesome.**_

"It was so awful, what happened", Nurse Maria said as she laid out his lunch tray. "I hope you – didn't lose anyone?"

He took a bite of something that looked like porridge – oh yeah, he gagged – porridge all right. As awful as it was, it enabled him to make a non-committal answer, which seemed to satisfy the young nurse.

He knew she had a crush on him and he hated to encourage her, but he really did need to find out what was going on. Various nurses and doctors had alluded to _something_ but he could get no details as they all assumed he knew what they were talking about. He didn't want to ask, as that would cause suspicion, but he was anxious to learn as much as he could.

"Was anyone else brought in to the hospital?" he asked, hoping that would spur some more disclosures.

"Oh no", she shook her head. "You and Samantha Carter were the only ones brought here. Most of the other survivors were found north of the city. It was surprising you made it so far."

"Mmm hmm. I wonder why we did?" When she looked at him in surprise he gave her a sad-looking smile. "I don't remember."

That instantly drove up her sympathy level. "Of course – I'm sorry. I hadn't realized, although the doctors said you'd both been through a lot. What's the last thing you remember?"

Crap – had he just dug a hole for himself? "Uh – I remember Sam – antha setting my leg and the two of us trying to make it to safety. After that everything is a blur."

"Really? Wow – she must be really smart." A frown began to settle on her face. "Is she your wife?"

"Uh -" Crap, what to say? "Well, not yet. We got out before – you know."

She looked slightly relieved although not totally happy. Maybe she thought she still had a chance? He wanted to snort – as if she could ever compete with Sam Carter! At that he felt mean, although he could have done without the crush. "Oh. Well anyway, when they found you they said you tried to attack one of the rescuers", she giggled.

"I probably thought he was going to hurt us", Jack told her, wanting to sigh. So far he hadn't found out anything useful.

"I can understand that", she nodded. "Most people are really sympathetic to what happened, but there are a few who feel we shouldn't have to support all the refugees. Still, there weren't as many as they thought there'd be." She said that cheerfully but then seemed to realize that wasn't appropriate, considering the lack of numbers probably meant a lot of people didn't make it safely through whatever had happened. "Of course, we would have helped people no matter how many of you there were – are. It's the only decent thing to do."

"Do you know how many – refugees – there are?"

"No, not really, although they said possibly only a few thousand. It was so horrible! Who would have thought that the sky would have rained fire like that? You must have lived close to the water to have escaped. They say that only those who were able to get away in boats and ships managed to survive."

"Yes, we had a small ship", he told her. "Was no one here affected?"

"Oh no. Our government says it can't happen here. There's something in our atmosphere that protects us, but I don't know what it is. I just know that we didn't see any of it and only heard about it a few days after, when people started arriving."

"What are they doing with the refugees?" he finally asked. At least he'd gotten some information, although he still had a lot of questions.

"Well, someone from the authorities will be by to process you as soon as the doctors say they can. In the meantime you have to stay here." She looked a bit embarrassed. "Once you've been processed they'll find you a place to live and I understand they'll find you a job. What do you do?" the quick question startled him and he instantly took another bite of the dreaded porridge. Fortunately at that moment the door opened and Nurse Tara walked in.

"What are you still doing here Maria? You have other patients to look after."

The young nurse quickly headed out, giving Jack only a quick glance. He wanted to groan – this nurse had been unfriendly since day one. He had no idea why since he'd been on his very best behavior. He wondered if it had something to do with his status as 'refugee'.

"You mustn't keep the nurses talking", she said, walking up and examining his breakfast as if he was trying to sneak something he shouldn't.

He didn't answer, simply took a sip of some kind of hot liquid. It must serve as this planet's version of coffee or tea. Whatever it was, it tasted like dishwater. He continued to watch as Tara checked his chart and then grabbed his wrist, without a word. That did it.

He pulled his wrist back and stared at her.

"I have to check your pulse", she told him sharply.

"Fine. Next time maybe you'd like to ask first? Especially as I'm in the middle of eating breakfast."

"I don't have time to -"

"To what? Show common decency and courtesy?"

She glared at him and stepped back. "We don't need you dirty people coming in and taking our jobs and expecting our people to pay for you. It's not our problem!"

"Oh – so you'd rather we stayed where we were and died?"

"Better that then to take what's ours!"

Jack stared at her for a moment and then shook his head sadly. "What a good nurse you are Tara. Such compassion."

Her nostrils actually flared and she turned and stomped out of the room. He was left feeling angry and sick. He pushed the table with his breakfast away from him and suddenly had a need to see Sam. She'd make him feel better and he could tell her what he'd learned.

He wondered what would happen if he pulled the cord to call a nurse. He didn't know who else was on the floor but he was pretty sure Tara would ignore him and Maria was probably already in trouble from her supervisor for spending so long with him. He sighed. Well then, maybe it was time to try and walk again. He'd had a good night's sleep and some food, as awful as it had been, so he might not be so dizzy.

It took a few minutes but he was finally able to stand. This time he made sure to hold on to the bed and make his way, slowly, to the door. He really wished he had a pair of crutches, or even one of the chairs Sam had used. It would have made travelling so much easier.

He stopped when he was almost at the door, realizing he had no idea where Sam even was. She'd said she was just down the hall, but that didn't mean much. He shrugged. Oh well – nothing ventured and all. With a deep breath he let go of the bed and managed to half hop, half walk to the door.

He looked up and down the hallway, but things seemed totally quiet. It had the general appearance of an Earth hospital, although again, things were slightly different. Certainly their use of color was much different, with colors more vibrant on the walls and floors. He thought briefly of the drab uniforms the staff wore but then quickly forgot about it as a man came out of a room and started walking his way.

"Mornin'", he said cheerily. "You escapin'?"

He grinned at the man – who looked like he was an orderly or one of the maintenance staff. "Only a little ways. I'm looking for my friend, but I don't know what room she's in."

"Oh. You that refugee from Terra Nova?"

A name! "Uh yes."

"So your 'friend' is the good-lookin' woman with pale hair?"

"That would be her."

The man grinned. "You're a lucky guy." Instantly his smile faded as he too seemed to realize his words might not be appropriate. "I'm sorry – forgot there for a moment. I hope – anyway, I'm sorry about what happened. I hope you didn't lose anyone?"

Jack grew serious, not sure how to answer, and not wanting to until he'd had a chance to go over everything with Carter. He shrugged and tried to look sad – which wasn't hard if he allowed himself to think about those he _had_ lost. "I'm grateful to be alive, and that my friend is as well", he said finally.

"Yeah, that's the attitude. Well, there will be some who won't treat you right, but most of us are happy you made it and will do what we can." He turned slightly. "Your _friend_", he grinned again pointing, "is in that room."

"Thank you." He gave the man a small salute, which caused him to tilt his head and look a bit puzzled. After a moment though the man smiled, seeming to think it must be a quaint foreign gesture.

And it was, thought Jack as he slowly made his way to Sam's room. The man – he wished he'd gotten his name – would never know _how_ foreign.

He knocked softly and on hearing a faint 'come in' he pushed the door open. "You okay for a visitor Carter?"

"Sir", her voice carried only pleasure, and some relief, so he pushed the door open and made his way inside.

"What are you doing up Colonel? Are you supposed to be walking on that leg?" She frowned at him and his world suddenly seemed to snap back into place, if only for a brief moment.

"I was getting bored", was all he answered as he hopped forward and grabbed a chair. He immediately flopped down into it, breathing a sigh of relief. He really shouldn't have been running around so soon. "So, how are you doing Major?"

"I'm feeling much better Sir", she said, and she looked it. There was more color in her cheeks today and she looked like she'd rested. "The doctor said I could be up and around in a couple of days."

"Good – that's great."

"How about you?"

"Well, the doctor came by briefly and said everything looks okay. I'll probably have to wear this damn thing for a few weeks at least though. It's going to make it hard to do anything."

"Yeah, I know." She looked worried and then pushed herself us so that she was sitting higher in the bed. "Did you find out anything Sir?"

"A bit." He proceeded to tell her what the young nurse had disclosed, as well as the orderly. He also mentioned Tara's reaction to him.

"She was in this morning and wouldn't even look at me", Carter told him. "I figured it was something like that. I guess people are the same everywhere."

"Unfortunately! So, what about you? Did you find out anything?"

"Just a little bit as well, although not about the refugees. The lady who brought me my breakfast told me a few things. It seems as though her family were from this Terra Nova, but emigrated here – this place is called Terra Antiqua by the way - when she was a baby. She told me that it's a much poorer country – or continent – I'm not sure yet about their political or geographical make up, and a lot of people used to emigrate here, looking for work and for better lives for their families. Terra Nova is on the other side of what's called the Targut Sea."

"According to Maria", he interrupted briefly, "those with boats were the ones who made it to safety. I told her we had a ship."

"Really?" she grinned. "I hope they don't want to see our ship. Anyway, according to my source, there hasn't been much if any contact between the two places for many years. There was some kind of political fallout and all relations stopped. She seemed to think it may have been because there was a backlash against immigrants in Terra Antiqua. She also said her parents lost touch with their family in Terra Nova and now they're worried they're all dead."

Jack sat thinking for a moment, putting all the pieces together in his mind. "Any idea about this 'fire from the sky' business?"

"Not really. It could be a number of things I guess, like a volcano or severe lightning storm."

"I've never heard of a lightning storm decimating a whole – country/continent – whatever."

"Neither have I, at least on Earth, but we could be dealing with something very different here."

"True", he nodded. "So you think it was natural?"

"Just that it _could_ have been. It could also have been an attack."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same. Maria said the atmosphere here protected them. Maybe some kind of defense system?"

"Could be. Once I'm out of here we can do some digging around and find out more."

"Agreed. In the meantime, be careful. With at least some of the population being anti-refugee, we want to be extremely cautious. We're also going to get a visit from the 'authorities' so we'd better come up with a good story."

Over the next few days, while they healed, Jack and Sam managed to ferret out bits and pieces of information to help them come up with a convincing story. They still didn't know the cause of the disaster, but they learned more about Terra Nova – a continent on the other side of a small sea. It seemed as if the planet was divided into three major land masses; Terra Antiqua, Terra Nova and the unexplored Terra Incognita. Settlement of the planet had started, to no surprise, on Terra Antiqua. A few hundred years ago explorers had gone across the sea and had established communities on Terra Nova. At some point there had been a revolt and the colonists had established their own government and declared that they were their own country.

"Sound familiar Sir?" Sam asked with a knowing look.

"It does indeed, although it doesn't sound as if the new land was very prosperous, unlike in our case back home."

"No. I wonder what was the basis of the economy on Terra Nova?"

It was actually Jack who had hit the bonanza as far as information was concerned. As he became more mobile after having been given a pair of crutches, he began to wander around the hospital. He soon discovered that there was security at the doors and he wasn't allowed to leave the building, except into a small enclosed courtyard. Deciding not to worry about that for the moment, he began to haunt the hallways. It was on one of his journeys that he came across a small library, for the use of the patients.

"Hey Carter", he opened the door to her room and walked in. "Look what I found." He held up a large brown tome with writing on the front. _The History of Terra_. "This should help."

She laughed when she saw his pleased expression and wished she had a camera. Daniel would love to have a picture of this. "A history book Sir?"

"Yeah." He looked at her, his brows raised. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. It's just not something I see you with every often." She bit her lip to keep from smiling.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you laughing at me Major?"

"Would I do that Sir?"

He sighed. "Of course you would. And I'll have you know I _do_ read – now and then."

"I'm sure you do Sir. It's just that I didn't think that was quite your style of book."

He glanced down at it and grimaced. "It's not. And it's _not_ that I haven't read history before – don't you dare tell Daniel – it's just that I prefer -"

"You prefer?"

"Pictures?"

She laughed and reached out and took the book. "Here Colonel, let me. I'll read it if you want."

"See, I always said you were amazing Major", he beamed at her. "Just tell me the important bits. I'm going to go see if I can find something to eat. Want anything?"

"I don't suppose they have jello?"

"Sorry Carter – haven't seen anything like that. I'll try and find cake."

With that he was off and running – or at least hopping. She had to grin after he'd gone. How he could make the most dire situation seem manageable she didn't know. Not, of course, that things were that bad. At least they were being treated well – it was just that for now they appeared well and truly stuck. She wondered what the people back on Earth were thinking right now. She hoped they didn't assume they were dead or captured. With a sigh she sat back and opened the book and prepared to read.

Jack didn't find cake, but what he did do was meet 'the authorities' for the first time – and it wasn't pleasant. He'd been walking down the hallway when Tara, his least-favorite nurse, stopped him. "There he is Sir", she said to man at her side. "He's one of the refugees." The way she said it made it sound like she was really saying 'child-murders'.

Jack turned and looked at an officious looking man in a suit – or in Terra Antiqua's version of a suit. Great – a bureaucrat! "Hello", he said neutrally and looked enquiringly at the man.

"You're the refugee?" he said, sounding about as happy as Tara.

"My name is Jack", he answered. "And yours?"

The man's lips thinned, but he answered. "I am Assistant Administrator Farole, in charge of processing refugee claimants."

"I see." Jack just stood there, not liking the man and refusing to appear either humble or grateful.

Farole looked put out. "So, are you claiming refugee status?"

"You want me to do this standing in the hallway in a hospital robe?" Jack asked calmly. "I'd think that sitting down would be more comfortable."

"I don't have -"

"Excuse me?" Dr. Sergei walked up. "What's going on here?"

"Assistant Administrator Farole is here to process the refugees", Tara explained, not looking at the doctor.

Sergei's eyebrows rose. "Is this appropriate? My understanding is that the hospital staff would inform you when the patients were ready to be interviewed."

"I _was_ informed", Farole told him.

"You were? By whom?" Sergei's brow crinkled in confusion. "I'm the doctor in charge and _I_ certainly didn't inform anyone."

Jack was watching Nurse Tara and could see her flinch. He had a suspicion he knew who the informant had been.

Farole was pulling out a piece of paper but before he had a chance to say anything, Tara jumped in. "It was me Doctor", she admitted.

"_You_? What made you think you had the authority to do this?" Sergei sounded angry, very, very angry.

"I don't think it's right that these people are taking up beds that should be for our own people", she answered defiantly. "They're well enough to go to a detention center. We shouldn't have to look after them!"

Jack turned to look at the doctor, interested to see how he'd react. He could remember instances like this when he'd had soldiers under his command who were out and out bigots and who had thought it was okay to treat people of other colors or races with contempt. He hadn't put up with it for a second and meted out harsh punishment to any who thought they could get away with that. Although this wasn't the military, he was pretty sure Dr. Sergei wasn't the kind to put up with it either.

"Assistant Administrator Farole, you know better than this! I will be speaking with your superior and putting in a complaint. I want you out of this hospital now and I suggest you don't return."

The man humphed off, both angry and frightened. Jack couldn't help but grin. He was nothing but a little prig. He then waited to see what was going to happen to Nurse Tara.

"And _you_", Sergei oozed contempt. "You should be ashamed of yourself. And you call yourself a _nurse_? I will not tolerate anyone like you working on _my_ floor, in fact, I don't think you should even be working in a hospital. People like you disgust me." He was silent for a few seconds, clearly trying to get himself under control. "You are to report to the Administration office immediately. I will be there shortly."

After Tara had stomped off, her stiff back radiating fury and fright, Dr. Sergei turned to Jack. "I'm very sorry about that. It never should have happened."

"It's okay", Jack smiled. "I appreciate you rescuing me – uh – for the second time I guess."

Sergei laughed. "No problem. I hate that little twirp." When Jack raised an eyebrow he clarified. "Farole. He's been here before. He likes the power he feels in making people's lives miserable. It was time someone did something about him. Now, enough of him. How are you feeling? I see you're getting around pretty well."

"I'm feeling better all the time. Uh – Carter? Is she -?"

"She is doing well. I am afraid I _will_ have to contact the Administrator who handles immigration. I can't justify keeping you here much longer."

"That's okay – I appreciate all you've done for us. Uh, can you tell me what happens when we meet with the authorities?"

"It shouldn't be difficult. Just tell them what happened and why you're here" he smiled. "Although we all know the reason for that. Once you have established a legitimate claim they will find you a place to live and help you get settled."

"Okay, thanks." It didn't sound too bad, thought Jack. Once they were out of the hospital he and Sam could begin to investigate and find a gate and having a base of operations was even better. He was almost positive there _had _to be a gate here as Terra must have been settled by the Goa'uld. It was too similar to Earth to not have its origins there.

"May I ask -" Sergei paused, looking uncomfortable. "You and Samantha Carter – are you -?"

Great - here it was again. He and Sam should have discussed this. He knew the Doctor was interested in her, and he didn't want to interfere but – okay, you're a liar Jack. The last thing he wanted was for Carter to meet some guy and fall in love. Still, it wouldn't be right to deliberately throw roadblocks in her way. On the other hand, should she get involved with someone when they were planning on returning to Earth? Sergei's bemused expression brought him back to the conversation. He must have blanked out there for a moment. "Uh, we've been together for quite a few years", he answered, proud of himself for not having to tell a lie.

Sergei looked disappointed, but took it well. "You're lucky, she's an amazing woman."

"Yes, she is", he nodded. He just hoped the Doctor didn't say anything to her otherwise the 'amazing woman' might just kick his ass.

"Carter", he said to her later that day. They were sitting outside on the small patio, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon.

"Yes Sir?"

"I thought we should discuss what we're going to say to the authorities when they question us."

"Good idea Colonel. I found out a bit more from the book, and that should help."

"Really? What did it say?"

For the next half hour Sam told him an abridged history of Terra. Their known history seemed to have started about one thousand years ago when they spoke of having been brought to Terra by their god.

"This sounds rather familiar – creepily familiar, but familiar", Jack interjected.

"And this will sound even _more_ familiar." She picked up the book and flipped to a passage and began to read. "Their god, covered in precious metal and jewels, like the shining sun, arose to look out at his people. He was angry at their disobedience so that his _eyes flashed and he smote them with his staff, killing those who would not honor him_".

"Great – a Goa'uld! Any evidence that he's still around?"

"No Sir. In fact, the book talks about them 'casting out the false god and grasping their own destiny.' It sounds like they may have paralleled Earth in a number of ways."

"Good! Anything else in there to help us? Anything about the gate?"

"No, unfortunately not. It says the god fled in his 'chariot' – I'm assuming a ship. Once he's gone the book turns to the history of the people. There's no reference to aliens or space travel. It _does_ speak about Terra Nova though."

"And?"

She told him all about Terra Nova – or as much as the book described. It gave them enough information to establish a background. They only hoped that someone from there didn't show up and disclaim all knowledge of them.

"There's one other thing Sam", Jack said, deciding he'd rather not remind them both of the rank and regulations that stood between them. "I keep getting asked about us."

"Us?" she frowned.

"Yeah – whether or not – you know." When she continued to look at him blankly he blew out a breath. "Whether we're a couple."

"Oh." Actually, she'd known immediately what he'd been saying, since she'd been asked the same thing by a few of the nurses. She just hadn't known how to respond to him since she found it rather – embarrassing. It wasn't that she hadn't had to pretend before, on other planets, but usually her _husband_ or _fiancé_ was Daniel, rather than the Colonel. And then there was the fact that she'd felt a surge of jealousy when the nurses had spoken to her – something she refused to even consider. "I've been asked the same thing", she finally admitted.

"Really? What did you say?"

Crap – now she had to be the one to confess. "I said we were – sort of – you know."

"Sort of _you know_? I'm not sure I know what that means?" His eyes held a distinct twinkle.

Damn him. He was enjoying this. "I said we were involved but not married." There, see how he likes them apples!

"Good. That's essentially what I said. I'm afraid Dr. Sergei didn't like it." He looked closely at her to see her reaction to that but her expression gave nothing away.

"No? Well I can tell you that a few of the nurses were quite unhappy, especially Maria. I think if she could she would have poisoned my dinner."

"So, we're agreed?" He refused to rise to the bait about Maria. Her attention had become more and more marked and he was rather embarrassed about it. He could hardly wait to leave.

"Yes, I think it's best. That way we can make sure not to be separated, but we can still maintain some – distance."

Right – distance. That was certainly something he and Carter were good at. He leaned back and let out a long breath. "I can hardly wait to get off this planet", he said. It was only a few minutes later when he realized how that must have sounded, considering their conversation. "I didn't mean – it's not because of you – I just meant -"

"I know Colonel", she took him out of his misery. "I feel the same."

The next day the hospital Administrator, Telor Damrah, came and paid Jack a visit. He was a decent man, although obviously busy. He simply informed him that the authorities would be by that day to interview him and his friend, Samantha Carter. After that they would be given a place to stay.

"I hope your treatment here has been adequate?" he asked.

"It's been excellent", Jack told him. "Thank you and your staff for your care. Both Samantha and I appreciate it greatly."

"I'm glad", Damrah said. "I am also sorry for your experience with Tara Fineman. She has been released from service at this hospital. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior."

It was later that afternoon that both Jack and Sam were called into an office, where an older woman was seated. She rose at their entrance and walked forward and gave a small bow – they had discovered this was the preferred greeting here in Terra Antiqua. "Good day Jack and Samantha Carter. My name is Administrator Salea. May I start by giving you an official welcome to Terra Antiqua. We are happy that we have been able to help you at this difficult time."

Jack quickly realized that this woman was willing to be gracious, but she was definitely no pushover. One look at her and he could tell that she was a tough one – fair, but ready to defend her country and her people. He liked that about her. He gave a bow in return.

"Thank you Administrator", he answered. "I thank you for your hospitality and kindness. We are grateful for the help we have received."

Sam added her thanks, after which the Administrator had them sit down. "Before we begin, may I ask if Jack is your only name? Most people here have two?"

"Yes sorry, it's Jack O'Neill."

"Thank you Jack O'Neill. Simply using one name felt disrespectful", she smiled. "Now, you understand that I must ask you some questions? It is mostly a formality, but we must be cautious when letting people into our land."

They nodded, indicating that they understood and then the questions began.

Sam's thought, after the first few minutes, was that if this was simply a 'formality' it was surprisingly thorough one. It was a good thing that she and the Colonel had gone over what they would say in some detail otherwise they would have been caught looking suspicious. Fortunately, they had worked together for so many years, that when a question was thrown at them they hadn't prepared, they were able to cover it well.

The story they gave Salea was that they were both from a small village by the coast. They had known one another all their lives, although Jack had been married previously. They decided to keep as close to the truth as possible, to make it easier to remember details. It would also explain the age difference between them.

At mention of Jack's wife the Administrator looked at him in surprise. "And where is your wife?"

"Uh – she passed away" at Salea's blank look he clarified. "She died", he said, giving a silent apology to Sara. Neither he nor Sam knew if divorce was allowed in Terra Antiqua and had decided not to mention it.

"I am sorry", the older woman answered. "I lost my husband – it is hard."

"Yes", he nodded, looking serious. Although he hadn't lost Sara to death, thank god, a divorce was almost as painful and he couldn't help but feel sad when he thought of it. His expression must have satisfied the Administrator because she asked him to continue.

"Right – well, Samantha was a friend but then – after a time – a long time after my wife -"

"Passed on?"

"Uh – yes – well, then, we kind of got to know one another and were thinking about" he gestured between them "when the disaster struck. We were able to escape in my boat and make it here."

"I see." She regarded him for a moment and seemed to accept what he'd said. "And what did you do before coming to Terra Antiqua?"

This had been a difficult one to agree on. He and Carter had gone over a number of possibilities but wanted to make sure their assumed professions were something that suited them but that would fit in with life on this planet. Being a soldier, wasn't something he wanted to advertise.

"I was an administrator", he told her, "of my region. I made sure the peace was kept and that things were orderly and administered justly." They had discovered, since they'd been here, that _administrator_ was a title used for someone in a position of power – and carried a much more significant meaning than on Earth. To be an administrator on Terra Antiqua was to be a person of prominence and standing in the community. It was for that reason that they'd agreed that Jack would have been an administrator.

Salea looked surprised, but only for a moment, and then she nodded. "I should have known", she commented. "It is obvious that you have commanded people. We will have to make sure you find something suitable here." She next turned her face to Samantha. "And what of you Samantha Carter? What did you do before the disaster?"

"I – was a teacher", she said. "I taught older children." She didn't know enough about young children to feel comfortable with that but thought that a high school teacher wouldn't be far out of her abilities.

"Did you teach intermediate or senior academics?"

"Uh – senior."

"Good, good. We can always use more teachers. It should be relatively easy to find work for you." She smiled at Jack. "Administrator O'Neill will be more difficult, although we have some time. You can't work until the plaster is off your leg."

There were a few more simple questions and then Administrator Salea appeared satisfied. She took some papers, wrote a few words and then stamped them. One copy went into a valise she carried, another copy went to Jack and a final one to Sam. "You are now temporary residents of Terra Antiqua", she announced. "In twelve months you will be able to apply for permanent status, but this will allow you to work and to get aid until you are settled. Tomorrow I will send someone to the hospital to take you to your home and provide you with enough funds to last until you have work." She stood up and bowed. "Again, welcome to Terra Antiqua." She looked at Jack. "If ever you need anything, simply contact me. I will be happy to help."

Jack and Sam both stood up and gave her a bow. "Thank _you_", Jack said sincerely. "It has been an honor to meet you Administrator."

"That went well", Sam said, after Salea had gone. "I was worried at a couple of the questions."

"Yes, but you managed to pull some great answers out of your – hat! Nice job Major."

"You too Sir", she grinned happily and looked down at the paper. "Well, tomorrow we'll have a place to stay and we can get looking for the gate. I've already asked about a library, I figured that was a good place to start and then -"

"Whoa! There'll be time enough when we get out of here Carter. Let's just enjoy the moment!"

She looked surprised, but then nodded. The Colonel was right. It could wait until tomorrow.

"Administrator O'Neill?" the young man looked at him nervously. "I am here to take you to your flat."

"Flat?" Jack frowned.

"Uh – he means apartment", she whispered. "It's like England – they call them flats here."

"I knew that Carter! Okay – so lead away", he told the young man.

It was the first time either of them had really seen the outside world of Terra Antiqua, except for the countryside when they'd first landed. That made Jack wonder, again, about the Death Glider. He hoped no one found it or it could raise some nasty questions. He'd found out that flight here was a very rare thing and not used for transportation. It was seen as a novelty only.

They knew they were in the city of Corazo, the capital of Terra Antiqua. It looked to be a mid-sized city – Sam estimated that there were maybe 300,000 to 400,000 inhabitants. It looked well-kept and clean, but not rich, at least not in the parts they'd seen so far.

As they were driven through the city they looked at everything, noticing the people, the buildings, the plant life – everything they could. It still had an odd feeling of being close to Earth, but just enough off to create a weird sensation. It wasn't bad, thought Jack, just not home.

"This is your building", Jaromy their driver, told them. He got out of the car and picked up a large envelope. "I will show you to the door and then give you these things. He walked into the front entrance of the building and pulled a lever against the wall. While they were waiting – Sam assumed it was for an elevator – she looked around. The hallway was plain but clean. There was really nothing else to see so she turned towards the door in the wall and waited.

They arrived a couple of minutes later at their home. It was on the sixth floor and again, the hall on that floor was plain and serviceable and clean. Jaromy took a strange little box out of his pocket and held it up to the door. With a 'click' it opened. He then turned and handed the box to Jack. "Here is the key", he told the older man. "There is another in the envelope. In there is also directions to your savings box with funds to keep you for a year, if you are careful. There are also maps of the area with services listed. Someone from our office will be in touch to help you establish yourselves and look for work. You may contact me if you need anything."

"Uh- how do we do that?" Jack asked.

Jeromy looked at him in surprise. "You simply use your voice box and ask to speak with me. My identification code is in the envelope as is Administrator Salea's and that of the hospital."

They thanked the young man and said goodbye – Jack wondered briefly if he should give some kind of tip, but since he didn't have any money it was rather a moot point. He followed Sam into their 'flat' and looked around.

It was a tiny room with a long – couch he guessed he could call it, although it looked slightly strange, two chairs and a coffee table. At the other end of the room was a small kitchen, with weird looking appliances although he was sure Sam could figure out how to use them. There was a small table and two chairs and that was it for the front room. There were two more doorways – the first opened to a bathroom. Both of them had gotten used to the layout of this planet's 'watercloset' and so it held no surprises. The last room was the bedroom, they both knew it and neither of them wanted to open the door.

Jack finally stepped forward. He was the commanding officer, after all, and needed to show bravery in the face of extreme terror. He pushed open the door to see a tiny room, filled with an equally small bed, a narrow night table topped with a lamp and a small wardrobe.

"Welcome home", he said softly as Sam stepped up beside him.. The two officers stood and stared, both determined to find the gate as quickly as possible.


	5. Of Villains and Pillows

She was going to kill him. She didn't know how yet, but she was definitely going to do it. A P-90 was too bloody and painful but if she'd had a zat then one, two, three hits and he'd be gone. She sat there, dreaming about it for all of five minutes, a small smile on her face.

"HEY CARTER! Can you run to the market and get me some of that bread stuff with the sugar on it? It was almost as good as cake."

No, maybe a P-90 was perfect! She sighed and stood up from the small table. "I just got back from the market Sir", she said, as patiently as she could."

"Oh. Sorry." There was a pause – she counted – and then, "so, did you get that bread?"

"No Sir, they were all out."

"Then how about that pastry thingy. It was pretty good too."

Surely the Air Force would understand? She'd get off on a charge of self-defense. All she'd have to do was tell them and they'd know she had no choice. It was either him or her! "Sorry Colonel, they didn't have any of that either."

"Then what _did_ you get", he whined. "I'm hungry."

Or insanity. She surely could plead insanity because he was enough to drive _anyone insane_!

She'd been stuck inside with him for two weeks now – two hellish weeks. She'd been able to get out a few times to do some shopping at the market, which was a couple of blocks away. Other than that she'd been stuck in a two room apartment with a whiny, complaining _baby_! Gone was the tough, but soft-hearted Colonel. Gone was the attractive man she'd secretly yearned for for years. Gone too was the sarcastic yet funny officer. Instead, he'd turned into the room mate from hell.

Oh, she knew it was because he was frustrated and felt stuck and helpless. She got that, she really did. She knew he wasn't a good patient at the best of times, but at least on Earth he'd been Janet's problem and then he'd gone to his own home and had managed to keep himself amused with TV and other things. She and Teal'c and Daniel had often gone to visit him when he was recuperating, but it had been for short periods and they'd been there to keep him from fretting or getting bored. She had never had to deal with a bored, frustrated man who didn't have anything to do.

She sighed, suddenly feeling guilty. She knew she'd probably be just about as bad if she was stuck in a small room with nothing to do. In fact, part of her own frustration at the Colonel was because she too was bored. She missed her computer and her bike and her friends – especially her friends. She thought briefly of Daniel and Teal'c, of General Hammond and Janet. She wondered how Cassie had done at her recital. She'd promised to be there and felt horrible that she'd missed it, even though she knew Janet would explain. She thought about her brother and his family and her Dad, and felt a desperate urge to break down and cry.

"Carter? How about you make some of those pancakes you're so good at? They're almost as good as the pastry."

Aaaargghhh! She stood up so quickly the chair flipped back. She had a sudden urge to pick it up and toss it out the window, but stopped herself just in time. It really _was_ good she didn't have any weapons on her. With a final, silent scream, she turned and left the apartment, closing the door much too loudly on her way out.

Jack was lying on the bed and heard Carter leave. He could tell by the slamming of the door that she was angry. He grimaced and dropped his head back on the pillow. He felt terrible for driving her crazy, although that had been his plan. He had just expected that she would have broken and yelled at him before now. Instead she'd been unfailingly polite and respectful. Hell, what did it take to get the woman to let go and tell him to shove it?

He had been feeling guilty as hell since they'd crash landed, knowing it was all his fault. Even though she'd tried to reason with him, he knew that the smart decision would have been to hide out on the first planet and wait for rescue. Instead he'd decided to play the macho commander and steel a god-damned Death Glider. Why, after his little jaunt with Teal'c, hadn't he learned that taking a Goa'uld Glider could never lead to anything good he didn't know.

No – he'd brought them to this god-forsaken planet and then on top of it he'd broken his damn leg. Instead of being able to help find them a way home, he was stuck on his arse with nothing to do.

He knew he could be a bad patient, although he wasn't as bad as everyone believed. It was mostly a game he and Janet played and they both knew the rules. Rumors to the contrary – rumors he spread – he treated the nurses well. He put on the grumpy act mostly for his team – to garner sympathy, but also to make them relax and stop worrying about him. They all figured that when he was grumpy he wasn't hurting as badly, either emotionally or physically. No, he really wasn't that bad – he wouldn't do that to the medical staff who worked so hard to keep them all alive.

But when they'd arrived in their little – hell _little _– in their microscopic apartment he'd known he had to do something to keep Sam's mind occupied. He had wanted her to yell at him, to tell him this was all his fault, the kick his ass for getting them into this situation. He wanted her to do that. He _needed _her to do it. He couldn't take the gentle understanding – it made his guilt even worse. So he had started the campaign to piss her off and give her an excuse to scream at him.

There was also a part of him that wanted her so mad at him that she didn't have time to worry about their situation, or to miss her friends and family. He knew, as well as anyone, how easy it was to fall into depression in a situation like that. The possibility of never making it home was every soldier's fear. He had to prevent that and knew that anger was a good antidote.

But unfortunately, it wasn't working, which only made him feel worse. _Why_ didn't the woman haul off and hit him? He knew why, of course he did. If there was anything Samantha Carter did it was follow the rules. She was an Air Force brat, bred through and through to follow regulations, to be respectful to a superior officer, no matter how much of an ass he was. Hell, the reason they were still working together and hadn't fallen into bed and screwed each other blind was because she was such a follower of rules. She was able to tuck things back where they belonged – down deep where they'd never escape. He had had no choice but to follow her lead so here they were.

At least here _he_ was. Where she was he had no idea. He didn't think she'd made any friends in the short time they'd been here – other than the Doctor, of course. Hell maybe that's where she'd gone? Could she be seeing Sergei and crying on his shoulder, telling him what a jerk her commanding officer was?

He grabbed his pillow and pounded the hell out of it but no matter what he did he couldn't get comfortable. Crap – he needed to get out of this place.

He rolled over and quickly got off the bed. Grabbing his crutches, he decided he'd go for a walk. He'd been out a few times, but there was no public transportation close by, at least according to Carter, and he hadn't really felt up to going a long way while still hobbling around with the humongoid cast they'd given him.

He shut the door behind him, not worried about locking the door. They didn't have any possessions anyway. He hobbled to the elevator and within moments was on the street. He looked up and down it but didn't see Carter and the suspicion that she'd gone to the hospital grew.

With a curse he turned to the right and began to walk. He had no idea where he was going – Sam was the one who had the map and who had figured out where things were. He didn't care right now. He was feeling guilty, hurt, angry and jealous and the emotions all mixed together to make him want to pound something. Where was a good Jaffa when you needed him?

* * *

Sam walked around for what seemed like a few minutes, but when she glanced up it was to see the sun setting. "Crap!" She turned and began to hurry back to the apartment. She must have been gone for hours and the Colonel would be worried.

After many arguments with herself, and long internal discussions, she'd decided that she had to say something to him. There was no way she could put up with him anymore. She was his second in command and owed him respect but she didn't deserve to be walked all over. She'd calmly and carefully tell him that she was tired of the way he was treating her and would he please stop. Yes, she nodded, that's what she'd do.

It took her almost an hour to get back and by the time she reached the door of their building it was dark. The street was quiet, and it gave her an eerie feeling. Since they'd left the hospital she'd seen a bit of the city, but hadn't really met anyone. A few of the shop keepers had been pleasant, but she'd also run into some rudeness.

It turned out that she was instantly labelled a refugee because of the color of her hair and eyes. The people of Terra Antiqua were all dark haired and brown eyed. Once look at her blond hair and blue eyes meant everyone knew she wasn't from here. According to them, that meant she had to be from Terra Nova.

She been surprised that first day, when she'd gone into a small clothing store, and had been asked to leave. Not understanding at first, she'd looked at the owner, thinking maybe it was closing time or something. When he wouldn't look at her, but instead had repeated his desire that she leave, she had finally understood.

She'd been furious, and had she been on Earth would have raised hell. Here on Terra Antiqua however, she felt it best to be quiet and just leave. She and the Colonel had to be careful and lay low until they found a way home. Still, she was seething by the time she returned to their small apartment. She had decided not to tell the Colonel as he would have been furious and would have tried to get out of bed and march down to the store. It was best to ignore it.

Since that first time she'd run into a few similar situations. She wanted to ask someone if what they were doing was allowed. Where there laws here that prohibited that kind of discrimination or was it like Earth had been before the civil rights movement? It was just one more thing to add to her frustration.

She opened the door to the apartment and took a deep breath. "Colonel, I'm back."

Silence met her so she called out again. Growing worried, she walked the few steps to the bedroom and knocked. There was no answer and she could see that the bathroom door was open the room empty. Could he be sleeping? "Sir?" She slowly opened the door and peeked inside. He was gone.

Oh hell! Had he grown worried when she didn't get back and go out looking for her? It was the sort of thing he'd do. Damn and double damn. What had she been thinking?

Of course the more important question, at least for now, was what should she do? Should she wait for him here or go out looking for him? Their paths could cross in the dark, besides which she had no idea where he would have gone. He didn't know the area at all and could easily head into a bad section of town.

She had been told on almost the first day, by some of the shop keepers, to stay away from one particular neighborhood. It seemed like Terra Antiqua, just like Earth, had its share of crime and violence. The problem was, according to the shop keeper, that they didn't have an adequate security force.

She sat on the small couch, which was also serving as her bed, and tried to figure out what to do. She didn't even know who she could call, if anyone. This day was _really_ turning out to be hell.

* * *

Jack had gone a few blocks before it dawned on him that he'd have to turn around and make it back and he was already exhausted. "Way to go Jack", he mumbled to himself. He finally lifted his head and looked around, wondering where he was.

Unlike the area of his and Carter's little 'abode', this area looked dirty and run down. Their part of town, while certainly not rich, had seemed clean and calm in comparison. He rather figured he'd wandered into a bad area of the city.

The best thing you can do O'Neill, he thought to himself, is turn your butt around and get back before Carter sends out the cavalry. He turned around and started to make his way back down the street. It was getting chilly on top of everything else and his arms were burning from the crutches. _You_ are an idiot O'Neill!

Just then he heard a noise. It sounded out of place in the quiet night and he quickly grew alert. He stopped and listened. Yes, someone was up ahead, waiting for him to pass by. His eyes moved back and forth, checking out the area. There was no one else around, at least no one he could see. He could cross the street to try and avoid whoever it was, but with crutches he probably wouldn't get far.

He began to walk again, keeping his eyes and ears open. Instead of putting his weight on the crutches, he stood straight and walked forward, using his legs alone. He held the crutches but now they were available to use as weapons, should the need arise, and he wouldn't fall over.

He could see the darkness of an alley ahead, that ended directly onto the street where he was walking. It was in shadow, but he knew there was someone there, waiting. He just prayed it wasn't more than one person or he could be in for a rough ride.

He didn't pause when he reached the alley, knowing that would be a dead giveaway, however he became even more alert. Ambushes were something he knew a lot about and he wanted to take the attacker as much by surprise as he was supposed to have been.

When it happened it was sudden and he could feel his heart leap into his throat. Two shadows rushed at him, and he saw a third still waiting in the alley. Crap! This might be a little tough.

By the time the first man reached him his crutch was already in motion. It wacked the guy right across the side of the head and sent him flying to the ground. The second attacker tried to stop but was moving at two fast a pace and ended up running directly into the end of the crutch. It hit him in the breast bone and Jack winced at the 'crack' as it obviously broke a rib.

By this time the third man must have realized he wasn't an easy target and he rushed forward. He, however, was much more careful and stopped before the crutch could reach him. Jack saw the gleam of metal and recognized that things had just gotten worse. His attacker had a weapon.

"Come on you dirty refugee!" the man growled, and began to circle him. Jack kept his eye on him, but could see in his peripheral vision that the first man was getting up. He had to end this quickly or he would be overpowered.

Without saying a word he lifted his crutch, took a quick step forward. The thug with the weapon – he was pretty sure it was a knife – was expecting him to aim for his head and lifted his arms. Jack instantly lowered his arms and hit the man as hard as he could across the knees.

His attacker screamed and felt to the ground, grabbing his legs. The second man, now upright, rushed at him from behind. He simply jabbed his crutch backward, hitting the man square in the lower abdomen. He then whirled and, with the man bent over in pain, whacked him hard across the back of the head. He dropped like a stone.

He suddenly remembered the third man, but when he looked all he could see was the back of the guy running down the alley. At that moment he decided the best thing was for him to get out of here as well. The two he'd downed could get up at any moment and figure out that by working together they could easily defeat him. He began to walk away, as fast as he could when hindered by the cast, when he heard a shout and bright lights flared.

"Stop!" a voice called. He shielded his eyes from the light, to see two men coming towards him. Damn – don't tell him there were more.

"What happened here?" a voice out of the light asked.

"Uh, I was out walking when three men attacked me", he answered, as calmly and clearly as he could.

"Look Deneil", another voice spoke, this time with surprise. "It's Kevane and Turmole."

"What?" The one who must be Deneil exclaimed. "Did you do this?"

By this time Jack could see the two new arrivals who were both dressed in some kind of black uniform. They carried truncheons and looked rather official. He just hoped they were the good guys. "Uh yes?" he said, sounding uncertain.

"Holy – how did you manage that?"

"I told you, they attacked me. They were waiting for me – these two and another one who ran away. I used my crutch", he held it up, "to defend myself." He realized at that moment that he'd lost the other one and began to look around for it, knowing it would be hard to get home with just the one.

"So, there were three of them?"

"Yes," He nodded his head, looking warily at the two newest arrivals. He didn't know much of anything about crime and punishment or about the justice system here on Terra A.

"Good for you", Deneil smiled suddenly. "We've been trying to catch these guys for weeks." As he was speaking he carefully approached one of them. "You are being apprehended and held for crimes against the people of this neighborhood. Do either of you have anything to say?" When it was clear they didn't he looked over at his colleague. "You want to call this in Jan? Ask them to send a wagon to take these guys in."

Within moments the criminals were handcuffed – with something that resembled a large rubber band, but seemed to shrink as soon as it was put on their wrists and Jan made them sit on the ground, waiting for transport.

"What's your name friend?" Deneil asked him.

"It's Jack."

"Jack? I don't remember seeing you before."

"No, I just moved in a while ago. I've been stuck inside because of the leg", he tapped his cast. "I felt the need to get out so came for a walk. I wasn't expecting this", he gestured with his head to the alley.

"Ah – I see. I wondered why you would come here. The locals know to stay away from this area, especially at night. It's luck that Jan and I came by."

"Yes", Jack smiled slightly, not wanting to alienate the local cops. "Thank you", he told him, even though he could have pointed out that he'd handled everything before they arrived.

"You're welcome, although I don't think you really needed us, except for the clean-up. Hey, you one of the refugees?"

Jack didn't particularly want to admit to it, since he wasn't sure of the general attitude around here. But he also didn't want to lie, especially if these guys were attached to the neighborhood. "Yes. I was just released from the hospital last week."

"Do you have work yet? Because if you don't we have need of good people down at the security hall. As you see, this area has a lot of crime. I think you'd be good at it."

He was surprised, but thanked the man. "I'll think about it", he told him, "although I can't do anything until my leg heals."

"Well if this is what you can do with a broken leg and while on crutches, I'd hate to see what you could do when you're all better! The administrator is going to be very happy with us this night." He rubbed his hands together, clearly anticipating the reaction of his superior. "Can we give you a ride? You must be tired and you shouldn't stay here."

Jack agreed, grateful for the offer as he really didn't know if he could make it back on his own. He was exhausted after the long walk and the events of the evening. He also wanted to get back to Carter. She'd probably be worried.

Worried was an understatement. When he walked into the apartment she was sitting on the couch, staring at the door. She looked pale and tired.

"Carter?"

"Where the hell have you been – Sir!" she ground out. "I've been here for _hours_ not knowing where you were or what had happened. I didn't even know who to call."

For days he'd been trying to make Carter get mad at him, and in the end it wasn't because he'd been a jerk to her, but because he'd gone for a walk. Who would have known that that's what it would take.

"I'm sorry Carter", he told her, totally sincerely. He hadn't wanted to frighten her – hadn't meant to, in fact. "I went for a walk and got lost and -"

"Of _course_ you got lost", she interrupted, not letting him finish his explanation. "You've barely been out of the apartment so how do you expect to know your way around. You could have asked me you know."

"Uh – you were out", he said softly.

"Of course I was out. I couldn't take being here anymore, not with you sniping and complaining and whining all day. I needed to get out before I killed you."

"You were thinking of killing me?" he said, surprise in his voice.

"Yes. If I'd had a zat …." She let the sentence hang.

"That bad eh?"

"Oh yes, _definitely_ that bad."

He grimaced, feeling terrible that he'd let it get so far out of control. It's just that he'd thought she'd break days ago. "I'm sorry", he said again, really meaning it this time too. "I didn't mean to make you that mad." Whoops, as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was in for it. She was too smart to miss that.

"_That_ mad?" she looked at him. "But you did mean to make me mad."

"I didn't want you to worry?" he told her, wincing slightly.

"Not want me – do you mean you did this _intentionally_? You were a - a _bastard_ on purpose?"

"Well -" he winced again. "Sort of."

"Sort of?" her voice grew soft. "What do you mean by 'sort of'?"

"Look, I wanted you to get mad at me so I – kind of – was a jerk. I thought you'd blow a long time ago. I didn't mean for it to get out of hand."

"You wanted me to get mad at you?" She blinked and shook her head. "Why?"

"Because I deserve it", he said in a rush. "I got us into this mess. And I thought if I bugged you and made you mad at me you wouldn't have time to worry about things. I know it's hard waiting around for me to heal so that we can start looking for the gate so -"

"So you thought you'd pull the most idiotic, asinine stunt imaginable and _that_ would make me feel better?"

Wow – he had to admit that when she decided to ignore the rules and the protocol of command she went all out. He would swear to the fact that her eyes glowed and that she looked ready to carry through on her threat to kill him. "Yes?"

She shook her head, her chest heaving with anger. He didn't speak, figuring that it was more than his life was worth right now to say anything. Still, he felt badly. "Look, I really didn't disappear tonight as part of my – uh idiotic, asinine plan. I just had to get out of here for a while and get some fresh air. I didn't mean to walk so far and I really did get lost."

She still wasn't looking at him and he really hoped he hadn't screwed this up too badly. "Carter?" When that didn't work he pulled out "Sam?"

She did finally look up at that but her face was blank and he didn't know how she was feeling. He wanted to do something to take that look off her face and bring back his Carter. "I'm sorry", he said again, his voice so quiet as to almost not be heard.

Without warning tears appeared in her eyes and her hand went over her mouth. Now he felt like a complete and utter villain. He took a step forward, ready to hold her and _beg_ for forgiveness.

"Oh my God", she cried, "You actually made me want to kill you – so that I wouldn't worry?" With that she erupted into laughter.

Jack watched for the next few minutes as Samantha Carter had a hysterical laughing fit. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or insulted. At the end of it though, he found it hard not to join her. When he thought about it the whole thing did seem rather absurd. Idiotic and asinine as his plan had been, it _had_ taken her mind off of the fact that they were stuck here, at least for the near future.

"Oh Colonel – only you could think of a plan like that." She went off again into gales of laughter. "But I must say, it worked."

"See Carter?" he grinned. "You may _think_ that I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but sometimes I get it right."

"I've known that for a long time Sir, although I admit to having had some doubts the last few days." She giggled again. "Does this mean you won't be asking me to fetch and carry for you every five minutes?" she finally asked.

"Oh, I don't know Carter – you are my 2IC. I think being asked to fetch and carry should be part of your -" The pillow hit him dead on, in the middle of his face. He'd just been attacked by his subordinate, and he couldn't be happier.

He picked up the pillow and looked at her over top of it. "You realize that you yelled at your superior officer and then hit him, don't you?"

Sam instantly looked wary, but didn't say anything.

"That means I have to punish you."

Her eyes narrowed and she studied him carefully, not totally sure he was teasing.

"So, be afraid Major, very, very afraid."

He picked up the pillow she'd tossed at him, waggled his eyebrows and pulled back his arms to start a magnificent pillow fight.

She giggled and grabbed another pillow.

She was going to kill him, and this time she knew how. The next moment she proceeded to beat him over the head with a down filled pillow.


	6. Friends

_**So, I started this chapter with a plan to further the plot on Terra Antiqua. Instead it turned into something else entirely. This is mostly an interlude piece that is about Jack and Sam getting to know one another. I will return to more of the storeline after this – but since this story is mostly about the relationship of these two characters, I felt this was important.**_

"Any luck?" He looked up from his book as the door opened and Sam walked in.

"No", she sighed. "None of the nurses seemed to know and Dr. Sergei wasn't there. He's gone on vacation for the next couple of weeks."

"Oh. Maybe we should contact the Administrator. She seemed willing to help us."

"I guess, although don't you think it might make her suspicious?" Carter looked at him skeptically as she walked in and plunked herself down on the other dining room/kitchen chair.

"I suppose", he sighed. "I guess it won't hurt to – wait a second", he stopped, a sudden thought popping into his slowly dying of boredom brain. "What if we ask someone the names of the people who rescued us? We can say we want to thank them – which actually we should do anyway."

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?" Sam sounded disgusted at herself.

Jack sighed again, wishing that Carter would stop blaming herself for everything. He hadn't thought of it either, until now, and he was just sitting here on his ass, doing much of nothing. "Don't worry about it", was all he said. "I'm sure that Administrator Salea won't be suspicious if we ask her that. We can contact her in the morning."

"Why not now?"

"Carter, it's _dinner_ time. I'm assuming that even the people of Terra Antiqua have to go home sometimes and eat and sleep."

"Oh." She looked a bit sheepish but right then her stomach growled and she grinned. She was hungry. "Something smells good."

"Well, the least I can do is cook", he answered somewhat sharply. Since their pillow fight he'd worked very hard to be as pleasant as possible but he was going crazy stuck in the apartment and his nerves were on edge.

"I appreciate it Sir", Sam smiled at him which made him feel guilty and even more irritated. "You'll be out of that cast soon and then we can go and check out the Death Glider. I may be able to fix it."

"If we find it!"

"I'm sure we will. Your idea of speaking with the guys who rescued us was brilliant. They'll give us the location, I'm sure of it."

"And what if it's a long way away? How are we going to get there? We don't have any transportation and a limited amount of funds."

Now _she_ began to feel irritated, although she was trying to hold it in. "I'm sure we'll figure something out."

"Yeah, you could always ask Sergei. I'm sure he'd do _anything_ for you!"

She looked at him in surprise, wondering where his bad mood was coming from and why he always seemed so irritated about Dr. Sergei. He had seemed to be one of the more decent ones they'd met and had treated them both with respect and kindness.

"I'm sure he'd be just as helpful to you Sir."

The Colonel snorted, and rolled his eyes. "I doubt that Carter. Look, we'd better eat or things will get cold."

She got up suddenly and began to serve them both a plate of the meat and vegetables the Colonel had cooked up. For the most part everything looked pretty similar to Earth food, although there were a couple of ingredients she didn't recognize. She hoped he knew what he was doing and hadn't just decided to experiment.

Jack accepted the plate silently and waited while Carter sat down. He watched her take a bite but when she didn't gag or look disgusted he felt relieved. He'd never claimed to be the best cook in the world, and it was a bit of a struggle using ingredients that were foreign to him but he'd tried. He gingerly took a spoonful and tasted it.

"It's good", Sam told him. "I don't know what everything is, but it's tasty."

"I asked the lady at the store", he explained, suddenly feeling bad for having snapped at her. "She was really helpful". He suddenly grinned mischievously. "I almost bought an herb to put in the stew but fortunately she stopped me."

"Why? What was it?"

"A laxative." He grinned.

She laughed at that, feeling the tension dissipate. "I'm glad she stopped you then." She took another bite and after a moment asked. "Do you find the people here very friendly?"

"Yeah", he answered, looking at her questioningly. "Why? Don't you?"

She shrugged and took another bite. "I guess I haven't really had time to get to know them very well."

The truth was that everywhere she went she stood out like a sore thumb because of her coloring. As a result it was as if she wore a 'Refugee' sign around her neck. Many people were downright unfriendly, the rest cautious around her. Other than a few nurses at the hospital and Dr. Sergei, she hadn't found anyone who had reached out to her with kindness. As a result, she'd closed herself off, going about her business quickly with as little interaction as possible.

Even though the Colonel didn't get out as much because of his leg, he seemed to fit in better with the locals. His coloring was such that he didn't stand out, but beyond that, he just seemed to find it easier to talk to people. Sam was pretty sure that he'd be making friends in no time. She just wished she had the same ability.

Jack noticed that Carter was starting to look tired – or depressed – and wished he could do something to help. Again his frustration mounted over his injury. It was keeping them from discovering a way home and preventing him from doing anything to really help. "Look, soon we'll find the ship and see if we can get her flying again, then we can make it home."

"What if we can't?" Now it was her turn to be negative.

"Well then, we find a Stargate and make it home that way."

"Have you found any references to one?" She glanced over at the stack of books she'd brought from the local library. It was his task to read through them to discover anything that might help them. She felt badly for him, knowing it wasn't his favorite thing to do. Where was Daniel when you needed him?

"No, not yet, although I've only made it through a couple of the volumes", he grimaced. "I _am_ learning lots more about the history and customs of people on this world." He didn't sound particularly happy about it.

"I'm sorry Colonel." She was playing with her food.

Jack took a deep breath, knowing that they had to stop this. They were both feeling depressed and soon would be taking it out on one another. "Look Carter, it's hard right now. I'm feeling useless because of this leg and we're both in a strange place with no one to turn to. I think we need to relax a bit and not worry so much. As you said, I'll soon be out of this cast and then we can really start looking. In the meantime we have a roof over our heads, food and we're safe. We're better off than we have been on lots of missions."

Sam sat there for a moment, thinking about his words. Eventually she looked up and gave him a smile. He was right. She was letting everything get to her when, in reality, they were in pretty good shape. Both of them were healing, they were safe and well fed. "You're right Sir. I guess I'm just frustrated!"

"You and me both, but it's not getting us anywhere. Why don't we just relax this evening and forget about finding the Glider or a Stargate or the fact that we're stranded on an alien planet and do something else."

She raised her eyebrow at him but then nodded. "Okay", she answered. "What should we do?"

Damn, now he had to figure something out. It's not like they had a TV that they could turn on and they couldn't listen to music or go bowling! If Daniel and Teal'c were here it wouldn't be a problem, but he wasn't used to being alone with Carter except when it related to work. They'd been very careful, over the years, to never put themselves in a position where they were alone in a more social setting. Now however, they were not only alone, they were _living_ together.

Up until this moment it hadn't been an issue. Carter had insisted he take the bed since the couch wasn't long enough and would have been uncomfortable with his cast. She turned their little living room into her bedroom at night and always made sure to be up early in the morning, before he came out for breakfast. It had all worked well and everything had been totally professional. Until he'd opened his mouth and suggested they do something _different_.

"Uh – why don't you tell me something about yourself before you joined the Air Force", Jack suggested. Surely finding out aobut Sam as a young girl couldn't pose any problems. If anything, it would be a reminder of how much younger she was than him and help keep his baser instincts at bay.

She looked at him skeptically. "I wasn't very interesting", she claimed.

"Ah, come on. You must have had some adventures as a kid. Don't tell me you didn't get into some scrapes. I mean, Jacob had to have lost his hair over _something_."

She laughed at that. "That was all Mark's fault", she told him. "Okay, I'll tell you about my wild youth, but only if you do the same."

"Me? But Carter -"

"Uh uh. Fair is fair Colonel. And somehow, I expect your youth really _was_ wild."

He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Don't worry Major. I'll keep it to the PG version. Now, let's sit in the living room. I wanna hear all about little Sammy Carter."

"Sir, I threatened my brother with a long, slow death if he ever called me that."

"Uh – does that mean you don't want me callin' you Sammy?"

"That's correct _Jacky_." She gave him the evil eye, which caused him to smirk even more.

"Okay, okay _Major_. I won't call you Sammy – at least not until we're back on Earth and Daniel's around."

She tossed the cushion at him, but this time he only grabbed it and put it behind his back. "Come on. I'm waiting!"

He wanted to know about her childhood did he? She squinted at him and then got a pleased expression on her face. She'd start at the beginning and bore him to death. "Well, I was born when my Dad was stationed in California", she said. "Mark was two and Dad was a Captain. Mom had been a teacher, but she retired when Mark was born although she used to do some part-time teaching at some of the bases where we lived." She then proceeded to go into detail about her life as a young child. Like many military families they moved around a lot. Mark seemed to resent that from an early age. He was the kind of person who liked stability and hated having to make new friends everywhere they went. She, on the other hand, took refuge in her books and her studies.

"I didn't have a lot of friends growing up", she said matter-of-factly. "I was shy so instead I read."

"You were a geek even at a young age?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I was a studious child, that's all. I was _never _a geek!"

"If you say so Carter", he said, being agreeable. Actually, he felt rather bad for her. He understood where her desire to be the best came from. If she had been shy as a young girl she probably used her brain and her abilities as a defense mechanism. He'd hated to hear that she didn't have many friends, although that explained her devotion to her team – and the fact that she was such a workaholic who didn't seem to have much of a life outside the SGC.

"I joined the cheerleading squad in High School", she told him, to prove that she was more just a 'geek'.

"Really?" His mind instantly turned to Sam in a skimpy little cheerleading outfit. He told himself to stop it – but hell, what a great picture. "Uh – did you enjoy it?"

"No, I hated it. The other girls all knew one another – I was an outsider. Besides that, the only thing they were interested in was boys and make-up."

"And you weren't?"

"Oh, I was interested in boys all right", she grinned, "but I wanted one who had _some_ intelligence and at least two thoughts to rub together. All they were interested in were -" she stopped right there and looked at him guiltily. "Uh – other things."

"Carter! Come on, you can't stop there. _What_ things?" He had to bite his lip to keep from grinning.

"Oh, you know Sir."

"Never having been a teenage girl, I'm afraid I don't Carter."

"No, but you _were_ a teenage boy. What kind of things were _you_ interested in?"

"Well, it wasn't a girl's brain or how many thoughts she could put together", he told her. "Basically I was interested in -" he paused, "other things."

She laughed. "Yes, I'm sure you were - Sir."

"So, little Samm – antha Carter was more interested in a guy's mind than in his – other attributes?"

She sighed. "No", she admitted. "I was actually in love with Tyler Stokes, and he wasn't very bright."

"So, _not_ for his brains. What was Tyler known for?"

"He was gorgeous", she sighed. "_And_ he had muscles and whiskers. Let me tell you how many tenth grade boys had muscles _and_ whiskers– not very many."

"So, did you win handsome Tyler?"

"No", she sighed again. "He dated Kim Zeigler – she was Captain of the Cheerleaders."

"So, a forbidden love? Sounds painful Carter", he joked. It was only when her eyes flew to meet his that he cursed himself. He instantly tried to change the subject. "So, who _did_ you date?"

"Uh –" she blanked out for a minute, cringing at her reaction to his words. She was so embarrassed she wanted to run into the bathroom and lock the door. "Uh – Norman Pierce", she finally said.

"So, tell me about Norman." He could tell that Sam was embarrassed and he wanted to gloss over the awkward moment. _This_ was the reason for having been so careful for so many years.

"Norman was – smart", she said and stopped.

"Smart – and?"

"And smart. That was it. He was shorter than me by a full six inches and _didn't _have muscles. He was a sweet kid."

"But not gorgeous."

She let out a sad breath. "No. In fact, I think he was gay but either hadn't realized it himself or was keeping it secret. The one time he tried to kiss me he looked sick. In those days admitting it would have meant a lot of bullying."

He nodded, feeling sorry for both Norman and for Sam. "But don't tell me you didn't go out with other, more suitable guys."

"Not in high school", she told him.

"What? They were all blind?"

She laughed self-consciously. "I _was_ a bit of a geek", she admitted, "And I was taller than most of them. Besides that I was skinny and not very attractive."

Jack just shook his head. "God, I hope I wasn't as much of a moron when I was in school as the guys in your school must have been." He grinned again. "Did you ever go back for a high school reunion?" He could just picture it – Sam had probably been one of those girls that grew fast and didn't quite fit into her body as a young woman. She was also way smarter than any of the other kids and would have been intimidating as hell. No, he could imagine that she blossomed after school. He would absolutely love to watch those same guys if she walked in the room now. She'd knock their socks off.

"No. I didn't go to my ten year reunion. I didn't see a reason to. I'm not sure when the next one will be."

"Well, let me suggest you do go", he waggled his eyebrow. "Believe me, it will be well worth it."

She felt herself flush, knowing that the Colonel was paying her a compliment. She decided to change the subject off of herself. "So, tell me about your high school years."

"Mine? Oh, they were nothing special. I was tall and skinny with a face-full of zits", he told her. "My passion was hockey, my bike – a Yamaha 100 – and girls. I did pretty well at hockey, spent a lot of time on my bike and -"

"And?"

"And didn't have much luck with girls."

"I don't believe that Sir", she scoffed. "You? I bet the girls were salivating over you."

"No", he answered seriously, grimacing slightly as he tried to scratch his leg through the cast. "They went after the guys on the football team. I told you, I was too tall and skinny."

"But I bet you were cute", she grinned.

"Well, I guess my Mom thought so and my Grandma – but I think they were the only females who did."

"So, who did you go to the prom with?"

He really grimaced this time. "Constance Rose."

"So, tell me about Constance." She turned and made herself more comfortable. "Was she pretty?"

"God Carter, I don't remember. It was thirty years ago."

"Was she cute Colonel?" She pushed him.

"I guess", he shrugged. "All I really remember -" he looked at her sheepishly.

"What?"

"Well, she had really big" he held his hands out.

"And that's why you asked her to the prom?"

"Well of course it was", he answered, as if she was crazy to even ask. "I was _seventeen_ Carter. That's about all I was interested in – that and hockey and motorcycles."

She rolled her eyes at him again but then she laughed. "So, you were a pretty typical boy?"

"Young man Carter, young man!" he said, sounding affronted.

"Young man", she agreed generously. "So tell me", she asked then, "what did you do after graduation? Did you join up right away?"

"No", he shook his head. "I got a job for a while and saved up some money. My folks weren't well off and I wanted to _do_ things. I worked on a road crew", he told her, "And it paid well. Next I decided I wanted to travel, so I got on my bike and wandered all over the country. After that I went to Europe and back-packed around for almost a year. By the end of the year I figured I was ready to -" he closed his mouth with a snap.

"You figured you were ready to – what Colonel?"

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Uh – my mother and father – you know what parents are like Carter."

"Yes", she smiled. "What Colonel?"

"They wanted me to go to college."

"Yes?"

"So I did." He stopped, with a big grin.

"What did you study?"

"Just a bit of this and that – I wasn't a genius like you."

"What was your major Colonel?"

"English", he flinched.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me", she nodded. When he looked startled she explained. "I've noticed how you hate bad grammar. You're also very obviously well-read, even though you try and hide it."

He stared at her, wondering how in the world she did that. "Uh – _how_ do you know I'm well-read?"

"Because you almost always understand what Daniel's talking about. If you weren't you wouldn't be able to get half the things he's saying.

Jack's nose crinkled up. "Do you think he knows?"

"Who? Daniel?" She laughed. "No, he doesn't have a clue. Sometimes I want to hit him over the head. He still hasn't figured you out completely."

"And you have?"

That stopped her cold and she immediately felt like she'd eaten a huge plate of her own foot. "Uh – not completely, no. But I do know you're smarter than you let on."

"Why thank you Carter", he grinned. "That means a lot coming from a genius."

"So, when _did_ you join up?" she asked. She'd often wondered what had made the Colonel choose the military. He spoke so little about his life outside work.

"After college I wasn't sure what I wanted to do", he told her. "I had a degree that wasn't going to get me very far and boundless energy. I tried working at an office job for a while."

"You hated it", she said, and it wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I hated it. The guy who was my boss was a moron." He paused. "I told him that."

"So, you didn't work there for long?"

"No", he laughed. "They were glad to see me go. Anyway, I was walking around, trying to figure out what to do with myself, when I happened on a recruiting station. I went in and saw all the pictures of jets and decided it would be cool to learn how to fly. The officer there also told me I could get more education if I wanted to."

"And did you?" she asked in surprise.

He gave her a side-ways glance. "Well, a BA in English wasn't going to do much for me and I kind of figured I'd need something else. I didn't plan on staying with the Air Force for long but thought I could get a free education, fly some planes, put in a few years and then get out."

"And that was how many years ago?"

"Uh almost twenty-five."

"Good plan there Colonel."

He laughed. "So, what can I say? I liked it."

"Did you go back to school?"

"I did." He wasn't going to say anymore but Carter gave him _that_ look – the one that told him she wasn't going to let him off the hook. He sighed. "I got a masters in Astronomy."

"I _knew_ it!" she slapped her thigh. "Daniel owes me!"

"Carter?"

She looked a little self-conscious but then shrugged. "Daniel didn't believe it when I told him you had to have a university degree. He didn't know it was a requirement for officers. When I heard you talking about the stars so knowledgeably I figured you must have studied astronomy. Daniel bet me you didn't. Of course I didn't know it was a graduate degree. I thought it was your undergraduate degree."

"So, betting on your superior officer Carter?"

"Yes Sir. Don't tell me you didn't do the same sort of thing."

"Yeah, but I bet on more interesting stuff."

"Like what?"

"Never you mind." There was no way in hell he was ever going to tell her some of the things he and Kowalski and he and - Cromwell – ever bet on. Even now he cringed at the memories.

"So Carter, now it's your turn. What made you sign up?"

"Nothing very interesting I'm afraid. I was an Air Force brat and that's all I knew. Like you I also liked the idea of a free education. Unlike you, I signed up immediately after high school."

"You didn't take any time off?"

"No", she said. "I probably should have, but I was anxious to go to college."

"Of course you were", he nodded. He looked at his 2IC and thought that it was rather sad she hadn't had a chance to experience life outside the military. No wonder she found it so hard to relax and let go. She had lived her whole life with rules and regulations and duty.

Suddenly he was feeling depressed again. It had been a great evening, but it was getting dark. He noticed that Carter was also looking serious and he hated to leave the evening like this. "So, what other things did you bet on about me?"

He could immediately see the red creep up under her color and into her cheeks. His eyebrows went up, wondering suddenly what in the world _that_ was about.

"Nothing Sir."

"Sam!" he narrowed his eyes. "Come on. There's something else, I know it."

There was no way in hell she was going to tell him about the bets she'd made with Janet. They were definitely 'girls only' kinds of things and quite naughty. Neither of them had really expected to be able to win, but just the betting was fun. Janet, of course, knew things about the Colonel that Sam would never know, but she was too good a doctor to ever reveal any confidential information, even though Sam had been dying to ask a few – pertinent – details. She couldn't help but admire the Colonel's physique and often wondered – stop it Sam! She could feel herself blush even more and the Colonel was definitely looking intrigued.

"Uh, Janet and I", she stopped, trying to think of something innocuous. There had to be _something._

"Janet and you -?" Now he really was intrigued. What were these two women up to?

"We just bet silly things. You know, like when would be the next time you'd get into an argument with Daniel, or how many bowls of fruit loops you'd have in a week – you know, things like that."

He didn't believe her, that was obvious. Or at least he suspected that there was something else, which there was. But, he'd have to torture her to get her to admit it and he seemed to realize that.

"Okay Carter." He turned to glance outside. "It's getting late so I think I'll turn in. This has been fun."

And it_ had_ been fun, she thought to herself. It had been great to see the Colonel so relaxed for once but even more than that it was wonderful to get to know him as someone other than her CO. She'd seen glimpses of it with Daniel, but never just with her. She felt warmed, somehow, and knew it was because he'd treated her as a friend, not as a subordinate.

"It _was_ fun Colonel, thank you."

That night both of them had trouble falling asleep, and for much the same reason. They were each thinking that they'd been wrong, that this planet _wasn't_ safe. In fact, they were in much more danger now then they'd ever been before. They weren't in danger of capture, or torture, or death – but of allowing the defenses of years to crumble. The door to that room was starting to open, and they were both very, very afraid.

_**The part about Jack almost buying a laxative is based on something that actually happened to me. I was living in Spain and decided to make Spaghetti for the family I was living with. Instead of buying what I thought were bay leaves (laurel), I bought what turned out to be an herbal laxative and used that in my spaghetti sauce. Needless to say, it was an interesting experience. My Spanish hosts couldn't stop laughing about it (once we'd all gotten over the affects).**_


	7. Their Modus Operandi

**_Sorry for the slight delay in posting and thanks as always for the kind reviews. In case you are wondering, reviews inspire me to write more and faster (just sayin'!). Thank you!_**

Sam was smiling as she walked up to their apartment. She was thinking about the last couple of weeks and how nice they'd been. After that first evening, when she and the Colonel had just talked, their days had developed a pattern. The Colonel would search up information in the books she brought from the library, and she'd go out and do all the errands as well as try and find any other information that she could.

She'd spoken to Administrator Salea, who said she'd pass on their names to their rescuers. She informed Sam that they had been private citizens out exploring for the day and not officials, so she didn't feel comfortable giving out their names.

It had been disappointing, but Jack reasoned that they could always ask Dr. Sergei when he returned if their rescuers didn't step forward. He seemed relaxed about the whole thing, which, in turn, helped her not to worry.

Although their days were spent trying to figure out a way to get home, their evenings also developed a pattern. They had decided to take turns cooking and most of their efforts were quite successful. A couple of times they'd come up with recipes which were – interesting – to say the least. There was once when Jack made some kind of quiche which had looked delicious and Sam had immediately dug in. A second later she'd run to the bathroom afraid she was going to throw up.

When she returned, she'd had to laugh at Jack, who was simply staring at the dish in front of him like it had betrayed him. He finally lifted his eyes – which looked like sad puppy dog eyes – to her.

"I don't know what went wrong", he despaired. "The guy in the store told me it was a delicacy."

"Don't worry about it Sir", she consoled him. "Most of your meals are delicious. And I'm sure it _is_ a delicacy" she said, sounding terribly unsure.

He sighed. "Remind me to stay away from delicacies in the future Carter." He then stood up, took the entire dish, and dropped it into the garbage can. "How about some tasty left-overs?"

"Sounds great Sir."

They'd laughed about it later and from that moment on Jack was _very_ careful about not being too adventuresome in the kitchen. Sam kept things pretty basic although she found it was fun cooking for someone other than herself.

The time after dinner was the best, as far as they both were concerned. They continued their discussion of that first night and began to get to know one another better. They didn't touch on anything too serious or private – just small anecdotes of their lives – but they moved a step closer to friendship and away from a purely working relationship.

Sam learned details about Jack's early life in the Air Force. She found out about some of his buddies and the pranks he'd played as a young Lieutenant. He told her about the various places he'd been posted and his joy of flying and of getting to know the other guys in his unit.

"There weren't any women in the field units then", he said. "It was all guys." He smiled. "I much prefer it now."

"Really?" Although he'd been great since day one – never showing any kind of chauvinism – she'd often wondered what he felt in general about women in the military.

"Oh yeah. I think it's healthier all around to have mixed teams", he said. "All that testosterone sometimes leads to -"

"To?"

"Stupidity", he grinned. "Having women on the teams balances things", he told her.

"I'm glad you think so. I always felt like most of the guys I served with resented me."

"Well, I don't know about the guys you dealt with before Carter, but I certainly don't." He was washing dishes as he spoke and wasn't looking at her. She got the impression that he was rather embarrassed to be telling her these things. Truth be told, so was she. "In fact, having you on my team was one of the best things that ever happened."

"Thank you Sir", she said, _really_ feeling embarrassed now. "Although if I remember you didn't think so at the beginning."

"I told you _then_ Carter, it was because you were a scientist, not because you were a woman!"

"And what do you think of scientists now?" she finally looked at him, a grin on her face.

"Oh, most of them still drive me crazy but you I can take. You and Daniel too I suppose, although he still does drive me crazy some days."

They talked about other things as well. He told her about some of his buddies, including Charlie Kawalsky. She'd known they were friends but hadn't realized how close. She wondered now how he'd dealt with Kawalsky's death. He hadn't said much at the time, but knowing him much better now she realized he must have really suffered over it.

"I'm sorry", she said suddenly. "I didn't know you were that close to him."

"Yeah", he was silent for a few minutes. "I actually named my Charlie after him." He didn't say anything for a while, looking as his mind was in the past. "He saved my life on a mission in South America – came back and got me when everyone thought I'd already bit it. He carried me out on his back. I told him if we made it alive I'd name my first son after him." He wore a small smile at that, obviously thinking back to that far-gone day. "You should have seen him when I told him we'd actually named the baby Charlie. He didn't say much to me, but I heard him bragging about it later. Some of the other guys told me he wouldn't shut up about it."

"I'm sure he must have been incredibly proud."

"Yeah, he was. My son loved him. Kawalsky used to come over and tell him stories about our adventures. He only told the most innocent ones of course, but Charlie adored him and it was mutual." He laughed softly, sadly. "Kawalsky took his death really hard."

She reached out and gently laid her hand on the Colonel's arm. He covered it briefly and then took a deep breath and stretched, breaking the contact. "So Carter, tell me some more of your adventures in the Air Force. You were in the Gulf, right?"

She immediately began to tell him some things she'd promised she would never reveal. Not that they were particularly bad, just uncomfortable as they showed some of her mistakes and insecurities. Still, it helped change the subject onto a safer topic. She had a bit of trouble appearing lighthearted, as the Colonel's words had affected her. And the fact that he'd been able to open up to her like that made her feel honored.

By the end of four weeks they had settled into a comfortable pattern, but they both knew things were about to change. Jack was getting his cast off tomorrow, and although he wouldn't be completely back to normal, he would become more mobile. He'd also promised her that they'd focus more on getting home once he could get around.

"How does it feel now Sir?" Sam asked as they made their way into the apartment. Jack was limping slightly, although she was surprised at how well he was doing immediately after losing the cast. Dr. Sergei had popped by and said hello but had had to leave quickly for an emergency. Sam was disappointed because she'd hoped to ask him about where they'd been found. Still, she could easily go back another day.

"Fine", he answered. "A bit stiff but that'll soon work its way out. I expect the muscles are a bit weak too so I'll have to make sure and get enough exercise."

"Just don't overdo it!"

"Okay Mom – or should I say Janet?"

She waggled her eyebrows at him. "Which one do you listen to better?"

"Uh – probably Janet", he told her. "She wields a bigger stick!"

"_Janet_?" she laughed. "_What_ stick?"

"The Air Force Carter! A medic's word is law – even over that of a general. Don't ever mess with one if you value your life and your career!"

She laughed again, but knew that he was only speaking the truth. "I'd like to meet your Mom", she told him and immediately wanted to bite her tongue. She didn't even know if his parents were alive. Although he'd spoken of them, it had always been in the past.

"Uh uh", he shook his head. "I made it a rule _years_ ago never to let any team mates meet my family", he told her.

"Why not?"

"Because then they'd sit around and compare notes and I really couldn't have that. Besides, my Mom would want to tell stories of when I was a kid and then my team would no longer see me as the big tough Colonel."

She stared at him until he narrowed his eyes. "What Carter?"

"You thought we saw you as the _big tough Colonel_" she asked, sounding innocent.

"Of course", he looked at her suspiciously.

"Right Sir." She bit her lip at his look.

"Carter!" he said, a warning in his voice.

"Yes Colonel?"

"Tell the truth. How _do _you think of me?"

"Oh, as a big tough Colonel", she stopped.

"Yes?"

"On the _outside_. On the inside -" she stopped again and grinned.

"_Carter!_"

"Well, Daniel says at heart you're a kid, Teal'c says you have the heart of a true warrior and I -"

"Yes? And you?"

She suddenly looked uncomfortable and wished she hadn't started this.

"Carter?" he said again.

"I just say you have a big heart."

He didn't know what to say to that and so coughed and walked over to the couch where he sat down. He looked at her and felt incredibly warm and tender and – all sorts of things he shouldn't be feeling. "You're – too nice Major", he finally got out. "I'm just a guy doing my job."

"Mmm hmm", she nodded, a small smile on her lips. "So Sir, are you hungry?"

A message came for them the next day telling them that one of their rescuers would be happy to meet them. They arranged to meet for breakfast in a local café. Jack was able to get around easier now, so they walked the short distance and waited until a man walked in and immediately approached their table.

"Hi", he said, bowing slightly. "I'm Jorad. You are both looking better than the last time I saw you." He smiled. "In case you are wondering, I am one of the ones who found you."

After introductions were made and Jorad was seated and a drink ordered, they began to talk. Jorad told them about himself and they thanked him for his rescue.

"It was the least we could do", he told them. "Farra and I were out for the day – we like to go out on rest days to the countryside. We saw something unusual and went to see what it was and found you both unconscious."

"I'm sorry, I think I attacked one of you", Jack mentioned. "I hope I didn't hurt someone."

"No", Jorad grinned. "It was me but you were pretty weak and you didn't do much more than knock me over – scared me to death but that was all."

"I'm glad. I thought someone was attacking Carter."

"We were very worried", Jorad told them. "Samantha Carter looked very ill. We were afraid she wasn't going to make it."

"Well, I'm very glad you found me", she said again. "By the way Jarod, could you tell us where exactly you did find us? No one has been able to and we're rather curious."

"I guess" he told her, although he sounded a bit hesitant. "Actually, we were quite surprised to have found you where we did. It is inland and most refugees were discovered closer to the coast that faces Terra Nova. Here", he grabbed a napkin and pulled a writing tool from his pocket. "I'll draw it for you since I don't have a map."

As he was drawing Jack asked, "How far isit from here?"

"Well, if you have transportation, it takes about two hours." He lifted his head, looking worried. "But you musn't go there", he told them, quietly. He glanced around a few times as if making sure no one was listening.

"Why not?" Jack's personal radar, the one that told him there was something important going on, was working overtime. He leaned forward, speaking quietly himself.

"It's an area that people avoid", Jorad told them.

"It's prohibited?" Sam asked.

"No – not exactly. It's just – it's dangerous to go towards Terra Incognita and everyone is advised to stay away. No one ever travels out there."

"But you did?" Jack prodded.

"Yes." Jorad's face cracked into a mischievous grin. "I've always been curious about things. I've wanted to go for a long time but it's impossible to get transportation out there."

"So, how did you finally manage to go?"

"Farra", he said. "She's my friend. Her father is an important man – he is Administrator of Transportation. He has access to vehicles and he let us use one for the day." His face lost the grin and he looked down. "I didn't tell Farra where we were going and I'm afraid she's angry at me. That's why she wouldn't come here today. She said I was foolish to have gone there and we could have gotten hurt. She made me promise not to tell her father."

"I see – well, _we're_ certainly glad you went there, otherwise we'd probably both be dead." Jack looked down at the rough drawn map which marked out the area where they were found. He showed the map to Sam who asked a few questions to make sure she understood exactly where it was in relation to the city. "Is there a way we could get transportation to get out there? Both – Jack and I – would like to check out the area. We think some of our things were left there."

Their rescuer looked extremely worried at that, and Jack could feel the hairs standing up on the back of his neck. There was something off here and he didn't like it.

Jorad looked down at the table, appearing terribly uncomfortable. Finally, as if he had reached a decision, he looked up. "We took some things", he admitted.

"You took – you mean some of our things?" Jack said, trying to appear calm. "Can I ask what things?"

"I think they were weapons", he admitted. "Here", he reached for another napkin and quickly drew two pictures. Although they weren't accurate or very good, they clearly represented a P-90 and a zat.

Jack glanced over at Sam – it had been something they'd both worried about. When neither Salea nor the people at the hospital had said anything, he'd hoped that their weapons hadn't been discovered. Since he couldn't remember much from after the crash, he couldn't say for certain whether they'd even had them with them. Now they knew they were in the hands of two people from this world and they had to be very careful.

"I see", Jack nodded, calmly. "Have you tried them?"

"No – oh no. I thought they might be dangerous."

"Yes, they are, in the hands of someone who doesn't know how to use them. Can I ask – why did you take them and not turn them in?"

"Well", here Jorad looked sheepish. "You're going to think I'm crazy", he admitted. "You see, when we first found you, I wasn't thinking about Terra Nova or the trouble there, or the fact that refugees were arriving. All I knew was we were heading towards Terra Incognita and suddenly there were two people wearing strange clothes and with strange weapons. I thought", he stopped and looked embarrassed.

"You thought?" Jack prodded.

"That you were either from there, or you were -" He bit his lip. "You're going to think I'm crazy", he repeated.

"No we're not Jorad", Sam reached out and put her hand over his and gave him her full megawatt smile.

Like most men he'd ever met, Jack saw Jorad crumble and give in. He wanted to shake his head. If only he had that much power and only if it had worked on the Goa'uld!

"I thought you were aliens", he said in a rush. "The day before we saw something streaking through the sky. Farra said it was just a sky-rock, but when I saw you I thought it might have been you."

Jack and Sam both laughed although inside both were thinking furiously. If anyone ever talked to Jorad, or this Farra, they could be in serious trouble. "No, unfortunately we just came from Terra Nova", Jack said after a moment. "Have you ever seen any aliens?" he asked seriously.

This time Jorad laughed. "No, of course not. Farra says I'm foolish for believing there could be such things. It's just that I've read some history books that suggest that the people of Terra were brought here from another world. I know it's just a myth but – often myths have some basis in reality."

He would have liked Daniel, thought Jack. "So, you took our weapons because -?"

"I guess I still thought they might be alien weapons. I mean I haven't seen anything like them from anyone else from Terra Nova."

"You know a lot of people from there?"

Jorad looked uncomfortable at that. "Not really. No in fact. I just – I guess I thought we would have heard something about it. All I've heard is that Terra Nova is rather – primitive – compared to Terra Antiqua."

"I see. Well, the fact is that in most ways it is", Jack improvised madly. "But it's a pretty wild place in a lot of areas and we need to make sure we protect ourselves. I was an administrator in our town and had to not only keep the peace, but protect the citizens from large predators. That was why we had those weapons."

"I see", Jorad nodded, looking both relieved and disappointed. "I'm sorry then. I brought them with me to give back to you", he admitted. "I just – I felt really guilty about taking them. Farra said I should give them to the authorities, but I know that some refugees are treated badly so I thought the best thing was to give them to you – after I'd met you of course." He smiled.

"Of course. Uh – you _brought _them?" Jack looked around, to see if they'd pop up in front of him.

"They're in my transporter", the other man explained. "Or I guess it's really Administrator Madrul's – he's Farra's father. When we're done you can come with me and I'll give them to you."

"Thank you Jorad", Sam gave him another super Carter-special smile. "We appreciate it. They're about the only things of value we have left. We lost just about everything else." She didn't try to make it sound pathetic, but it came out that way anyway, which served to ratchet up Jorad's sympathy.

"You asked about transportation", he said suddenly. "It is not easy to hire a vehicle. And they won't let you hire one to go towards Terra Incognita. I expect because you are refugees they won't let you have one at all."

Jack bit his lip, looking as if he was trying to think of something. In reality he was letting Carter handle this one. He was sure she already had Jorad wrapped around her little finger and his Major was good at performing miracles. He waited.

"Oh", Sam sighed. "I guess all that matters is that we're alive. Things – well they're just not that important, are they?" She looked directly into Jorad's eyes.

"Uh – no, I guess not." There was a short moment of silent. "Did you lose something important?"

"Just – you mustn't worry", she said. "You saved our lives and I don't want to burden you with anything else. Tell, me Jorad, what do you do for a living?"

Jorad was frowning and ignored Carter's question. "You did lose something important, didn't you?"

"It's no -"

"No, please tell me." He leaned forward and laid his hand over hers. Jack had to keep from grinning.

"Well, it's really nothing too important. It's just – something my father gave me", she sniffed. "He – before he – passed on, he gave me a – uh - book that had been passed down for many generations in our family. He told me as long as I had it it would bring me luck." She laughed softly. "I guess it did – I mean, we survived. I just wish -"

"And you think it's where we found you?" Jorad looked puzzled. "I thought everything was recovered? We only took the weapons, nothing else. Did not the emergency team bring everything else?"

"When we didn't know if we were going to make it I hid a small pack of our things", Sam improvised. "We didn't know where we were or who would find us."

The young man sat looking at her, his face showing no expression. After a few seconds he sat up straighter. "You can use the Administrator's vehicle", he said, "as long as you have it back to me this evening."

"Jorad – no, we couldn't ask that of you?" Sam looked – surprised, pleased, worried, grateful – all the appropriate emotions to pull him in a bit more.

Yes you could, thought Jack, busily chewing the roll he'd ordered. He was so proud of Carter – she was amazing.

"Yes. It will be fine. Look, I will take you to the transporter now and you must go. Just follow my map. I will call Farra and tell her that I have some errands to run and I will see her after dinner tonight. You _must_ have the vehicle back by then."

After some more token resistance Jack and Sam followed Jorad to the vehicle. He showed them their weapons, which were stashed in the rear of the vehicle in what passed for its trunk, and then demonstrated how to handle the transporter.

They took off then, with a wave to Jorad. It took a few harried minutes before Jack figured out how to drive the small car smoothly. The principle was the same as for Earth automobiles, but the practice was much different. He almost hit an old lady and _did_ hit a garbage can, but after that managed to get the vehicle straight.

"Uh – do you want me to drive Sir?" Sam finally asked. Her knuckles were white where they clenched the seat underneath her.

"Oh ye of little faith Carter", Jack grinned. "I know what I'm doing – now – and it'll be fine. And anyway, what makes you think you could have done any better."

"I don't", she admitted, "however I don't think I could have done any _worse_ – Sir."

Jack glanced at her, his brows raised. "Fine, you can drive on the way back!" Jack was quiet as he drove towards the city limits, wanting to concentrate on the vehicle and the directions Carter was giving him. It was only when they reached the countryside that he spoke.

"He's rather – trusting", Jack said, referring to Jorad.

"He is. He reminded me of Daniel a few years ago."

"Yeah, me too. I hope this doesn't get him – or us – into trouble."

"Not if we're back in time." Sam said. "I hope we can find the glider by then."

"What about the hidden pack with the book from your father?" Jack grinned at her.

"Well it worked!" she retorted.

"It did, although Jacob might be a bit surprised to know he's – passed on! You were brilliant Carter – you had him eating out of the palm of your hand."

"I know. I felt badly about it. He's a good kid."

Fortunately Jorad's directions, although hand drawn, were quite accurate. They found the place where they'd been rescued– and slowly backtracked towards where they figured they'd crashed the glider. Although it had felt like forever when they'd had to walk, it actually wasn't that far a distance away and they soon found it.

"Thank God!" Carter said, when she saw the wing tip glistening in the sunlight.

"Did you think it would have disappeared?"

"Well, with our luck lately, you never know." She got out of the vehicle the moment he stopped and raced towards the ship.

Jack got out more slowly, whistling when he saw the glider. It's a miracle they'd both survived with as few injuries as they had. The thing looked like it had gone through a blender.

Sam was already deep into the bowels of the ship – or as much of the 'bowel's as she could reach – by the time he arrived. He could hear the odd sounds coming from her – they mostly sounded like frustration, which wasn't good. He, on the other hand, was _very_ good and didn't bug her for at least twenty minutes.

"Hey Carter – what's it look like?'

The 'hrmph' he got in reply didn't tell him much so he left her alone for another five minutes. "Carter! Status report." He used his official Colonel voice which seemed to work.

"The wiring is all burnt out", she called down, "and even worse the crystals are gone. I can replace wires, I can't replace crystals."

"So – it's bad?"

"Very bad Sir."

"Damn. Is there nothing we can do?"

A couple of minutes of silence and then her head poked out. "I'm afraid not Colonel", she shook her head. "Frankly, I'm amazed we made it as far as we did. This ship was a mess even before we crashed."

"What about the radio?"

"Completely destroyed", she told him. "I managed to retrieve some of the nacquada though. We may find a use for it. Other than that -" she left her words hanging."

"Homing device?"

"Not that I can see and even if there were, do you really want to let the Goa'uld know where we are?"

"No", he sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. "Anything else? Anything that could be in the least bit helpful?"

Now she sighed. "Not really", she told him. "Some of the parts might come in useful at a later date and I can grab those to take back with us. I'm afraid it's pretty much – toast - Sir."

Crap! Well, he hadn't really had much hope to begin with, but it certainly would have made their lives easier if they'd been able to fix the thing. He helped Carter as she pulled herself out of the ship.

"So, on to Plan B", he informed her.

She gave a half smile, although she was looking pretty bummed out. "I guess so Sir", she said, sounding doubtful.

"Hey Carter – you _know_ we always do better with Plan B. It's our – modus operandi!"

She grinned at that. "Latin Sir?"

"Of course, a very useful language at times. Come on, we'd better get back before we give poor Jarod a heart attack."

"That's Jorad Sir." This time she did grin.

"_Whatever_ he calls himself, we don't want him to wet his pants."

"No Sir." The two of them spent a few moments taking some things from the ship and placing them in the vehicle. After that they gave one last look at the Death Glider and then got in the 'car'.

Jack turned on the engine and glanced over at the woman at his side. "Okay Carter – Plan B – let's go find that gate!"


	8. Feelings

"And just how do you suggest we do it Major?" he asked, clearly frustrated. "We don't have any kind of transportation. They won't let us borrow or rent anything because we're refugees and aren't 'established'", he made air quotes as he spoke. "Even if they did, we would need a boat because it's hundreds of miles off the coast of Terra Antiqua. So, if you have some brilliant solution then tell me, because I sure as heck can't come up with one."

Her lips were pressed together and her eyes were sparkling, but not with joy or even sadness. She was royally ticked off but she couldn't say anything. He was still her commanding officer.

After they'd returned from their jaunt to the Death Glider, they'd sat for hours, talking about their next steps. They both agreed that the Stargate was their only other hope. The problem was, they couldn't find it.

They were both pretty sure that there had to have been one here, at least at one point. The people were clearly descendants of humans from Earth and they had to have been brought here by the Goa'uld. Although it was possible that they'd been brought by ship, it was much more likely that there was a gate. From their experience, when the Goa'uld undertook massive repopulation of a planet it was almost always through a Stargate. It was logistically much easier than trying to transport thousands of people.

The rub was they didn't have a clue where to find it. And they meant that literally. They hadn't found a single reference to the gate, or even to anything resembling it in anything they'd read. None of the few people they'd asked had shown any recollection or familiarity with it, even when looking at a picture Sam had drawn.

Their next step then, was to speak with some of the refugees from Terra Nova. So far they'd avoided them, worried that they'd quickly be unmasked as imposters. Still, it was necessary if the gate was in that territory, and the refugees would be the ones who would know.

Jack ferreted out some information from one of the local storekeepers – he seemed to already be making friends. He came back to the apartment to tell Sam that he'd found a local club where some refugees met regularly.

"It's a social club of some kind", he told her. "It probably offers some reminders of their home and gives them support. A lot of them lost family and friends."

"But how are we going to convince people we're really refugees?" Sam wanted to know. "What if they ask questions we can't answer?"

"Carter – we've been doing this for years. If all else fails, just smile sadly and tell the person you'd rather not talk about it, that it brings back bad memories."

She stared at him for a second and then, with a small smile, shook her head. "You're an expert as this, aren't you?"

"My days working in covert ops Carter", he told her with a shrug. Those years were ones he'd rather forget, but they did come in handy.

They waited until the end of the week and then made their way to the club. It was noisy and crowded when they arrived, but the atmosphere wasn't particularly happy. A few people glanced up at them when they walked in, but the noise continued so Jack figured they must not stick out too badly.

He got them both a drink – something alcoholic he supposed – and he and Carter slowly made the rounds. He bumped into a man and quickly apologized and then started up a conversation. Within a few moments the man invited Carter and him back to his table.

"My spouse is here", he said as they followed him. "She will be glad to meet another couple. She has felt very lonely since we arrived."

"How long ago did you arrive?" Sam asked.

"Six weeks ago", he told her. "Just after the last occurrence of fire from the sky."

They spent the evening with the couple and were able to find out some more information, from people who had actually lived through the disaster. They also managed to introduce the topic of the Stargate, although they got no reaction to that at all. In the end they came away with little that was useful.

"They haven't seen the Stargate", Sam said as they walked back to their apartment, "but that doesn't mean that others haven't."

"I know."

"We'll have to go back and meet some other people and ask them."

"We will", Jack nodded and then changed the subject. "Any sense of the 'fire from the sky' thing? Do you think it was an attack?"

"I don't know", she crinkled her forehead as she concentrated. "If it was, what was the reason? I mean, no one saw anyone and there have been no reports that anyone landed there."

"What about taking people?" Jack suggested. "What if it was the Goa'uld and they were collecting hosts or slaves? A lot of people died, but what if some were removed from the planet instead. No one would know."

"It's possible I suppose, although it seems an inefficient way of collecting people. Usually the Goa'uld will just come down, capture people and leave. Why the fire in the sky?"

"I don't know Carter, that's why I'm asking you. You're the genius."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, I think it sounds more like some kind of natural phenomena, or a home-made attack."

"Home-made?"

"Well, it sounds as if the attack was meant to destroy, you know like a bomb. Unless they really angered the Goa'uld for some reason, and it was retribution, it sounds more like it was an attack meant to wipe out the population. That sounds more like planetary or territorial war – unless, like I said, it was a natural event."

"So, what you mean is we're really no closer to knowing then we were before?"

"That's about right."

This time Jack sighed. "Okay, so we need to do some more investigating – about the gate I mean. As for the other, there's really nothing we can do whether it was a natural event or not. Let's just keep our ears and eyes open to make sure we don't get caught up in something that's not our business."

After that night they spoke with more refugees but still found no one who had ever heard of the Stargate. By the end of the month they'd both come to the conclusion that: a) there had never been a gate on Terra; b) it had existed at one time but was now gone, or; c) it was in Terra Incognita, an area no one had ever been to that they could discover.

"It must be there", Sam had argued. "There's no other explanation."

"Maybe there never was a Stargate", Jack interjected. "_That's_ an explanation."

"I still think we need to go there and look for it. It's our only chance."

Which brought them back to their argument of today. Sam had been pressing to go to Terra Incognita for days. Although Jack agreed that if a Stargate existed, that was a likely place, he didn't see that they were in any position to go there – not until they were better equipped. He understood Carter's anxiety, but he wanted to make sure they got off this planet _alive_ and being prepared was one way to ensure that.

"No Carter", he finally put his foot down. "We'll research it and try and figure out how to get there _safely_. We're not ready to go now."

"I know Sir, I didn't mean _right_ now, but in a couple of weeks -"

"For god's sake Carter, how the hell are we going to do it? Do you plan to steal one of their transport thingy's? And if that doesn't work we'll be arrested and then who knows what'll happen. Let's just try and find out more information, save up some money and see if we can rent or buy one of their vehicles and prepare."

"But they cost a fortune", she cried. "How can we buy one?"

"Then we'll rent one."

"But they won't let us rent one."

"Exactly my point! So, we work to fit in. I start working, you get a job, we make money, friends, etc. Then we can figure out how to get out of here. We have time Sam – we're not in any danger. Let's go about this logically and carefully."

She nodded her head, although inside she was seething. Since when did Colonel O'Neill want to do things _logically _or _carefully_? He was usually the first to jump into something, both guns blazing. She didn't say anything, but she was starting to wonder if he was just getting too comfortable here on Terra Antiqua.

That night as she lay in bed she thought back to the last few weeks. They'd continued to talk in the evenings but now their discussions were centered on escaping the planet and getting home. She knew she was a bit obsessed, but hell, she wanted to get back to her home and see her friends and family. The Colonel tried to get her to relax and take some time off, but she didn't want to. He was fitting in here and had even started to meet some of the neighbors. She still felt like an outsider and did her business quickly, without talking to anyone more than she had to.

Then there had been the visit last week. For some reason Sam had felt like it was one more thing that was going to keep them stuck here on this infernal planet. So now the Colonel had to make a decision, and she figured he was going to go for it, but for some reason she really didn't like the idea.

They'd been sitting, quietly reading after dinner, when there was a knock on the door. Jack looked up, surprised, his eyebrows lifted. He slowly got up and made his way to the door. This was the first time anyone had come by other than the messenger from Salea.

"Yes?" he opened the door to see a man standing there, a man who looked vaguely familiar. "Can I help you?"

"Jack O'Neill?" the other man asked. "Don't you remember me?"

"Uh –not really."

"It's Safety Officer Deneil", he said with a smile. "Remember, the night you were attacked?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I guess I was a bit out of it that night. Come in." He stepped back as the officer entered their small apartment and then introduced him to Carter. "My – uh – friend, Samantha Carter."

"Hello", the man smiled widely. "Nice to meet you." He looked at her carefully, obviously interested.

Once the introductions were made Deneil proceeded to tell Jack why he'd called.

"I told the Administrator how you'd taken down Kevane and Turmole. He was very impressed. Then I – uh – checked up on you a bit. I hope you don't mind."

Jack shrugged. What could he say? "I guess it depends on why you did it."

"Well, that quadrant of the city is filled with criminals", he explained. "Nothing we've tried seems to work and we don't have much luck catching them. I found out that you were in charge of security back in your home town and wondered if you would be interested in working for us? I think you might be able to help us out and maybe bring some fresh ideas. The Administrator agrees and asked me to approach you. If you are interested you could come down to the office and talk to him."

Jack glanced over at Sam – this might be the opportunity they needed. It would bring in some money and it would allow him to get to know some people and possibly find out more information. And besides that, he was starting to go crazy with boredom. He couldn't read her expression and knew he'd have to discuss it with her first. Still he must admit to being interested.

"Can I get back to you?" he asked. "I'll have to think about it for a while."

"Sure, no problem." Deneil stood up. "I hope you decide to join us." He bowed slightly and then turned to Sam. "It was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again."

Since that day he and Carter had gone back and forth on the matter. For some reason she didn't want him to do it, although she couldn't give what he thought was a good reason. He knew something was bothering her, but he couldn't get her to tell him what it was.

"Carter?" he finally asked that evening. "I have to let them know. I think this might be a good thing. It'll get me out meeting people and I can find out more information. And who knows, I may even have access to transportation."

In the end she'd shrugged and told him it was his decision and of course she'd go along with it. In reality she had no choice – he was the Colonel and she had to defer to him.

He sighed as she said it and looked irritated but in the end he'd nodded sharply. "Okay then, I'll tell them I'll take it." After a few seconds of awkward silence he spoke. "What about you Carter? Maybe you should try and get some kind of job. It'll give you more opportunity to meet people and -"

"I don't need to meet people Sir", she'd answered. "I need to get home."

"Of course you do Major – we both do. But sitting here on our asses, going over the same thing day after day obviously isn't helping." He stood up. "I'm going down to the office first thing in the morning. I suggest you figure out what you can do rather than sit around the apartment and mope."

"Is that an order Sir", she answered sharply.

His nostrils flared and he felt an uncommon surge of anger towards her. He didn't know what the hell was wrong, but he'd had enough. "Yes, you can consider it one. I don't know what's eating you Major, but I suggest you get over whatever it is." With that he turned and stomped into the bedroom, slamming his book down on the bed.

The next day he went down to the office and asked to speak with the Administrator. Sam had been gone by the time he got up and he had to admit to feeling relieved. Maybe the problem was they'd just spent too much time together in too small quarters. She'd feel better with him gone through the day – he hoped.

"Jack O'Neill?" the Administrator stood. He was an older man, with deep lines carved in his forehead. He looked like he bore the world on his shoulders.

"Yes. Administrator Rallay?"

"That's me. Come in, come in." He watched as Jack entered and sat. "So Officer Deneil tells me you're quite accomplished in security and safety."

"Uh yes", Jack nodded. "It was my job back home."

"I see. You're from Terra Nova? I understand you were an Administrator there."

"Yes, that's right." Jack knew that position here meant a lot and was grateful he'd thought to use that cover. It immediately gave him more respect, even if he was a refugee.

"I see, I see." Rallay sighed. "Did Deneil explain the situation in Precinct 4?"

Jack repeated the little he'd been told. After that Rallay went into a lengthy discussion of the issues he faced. It turned out that there were a number of factories and warehouses in the area and opportunities for black market buying and selling. Goods were strictly regulated in Terra Antiqua and often quite expensive. That left things wide open for enterprising criminals.

It sounded to Jack that basically they a number of rival gangs who protected their territories fiercely. The security forces were ill-equipped to deal with them, probably because Rallay was a traditional administrator and had limited to no experience in the field or in dealing with this type of criminal.

"Would you be interested in working here?" Rallay finally came to the point.

"Well, it depends Administrator", Jack answered carefully. "Would I be asked to simply continue with the way things are done presently, or are you looking for some new ideas?"

"I would definitely like some new ideas", he answered with a grimace. "What we're doing now isn't working."

"Would the men resent me? I mean, if I come in and suggest changes, they might not be too happy, especially since I'm a refugee."

Rallay stood up and paced to the window which looked out on a small courtyard. "I won't lie. There may be some that resent you. There are always those who hate change", he smiled slightly, "and there are others who hate refugees. But I think most of the men would welcome some new ideas. They are frustrated and some have gotten hurt." He swung around then, to look at Jack. "If you agree, I would bring you on as Assistant Administrator in charge of field operations. You would report only to me and the security teams would report directly to you. I will deal with the powers that be – there will be some backlash – but you can focus on cleaning up the streets. If you're agreeable that is?"

After a few more moments discussing the terms of his employment, Jack agreed. He walked back to the apartment excited at the opportunity but also worried about Carter's reaction. He somehow knew she felt his taking employment was giving up. It was far from it. He was as determined as she was to get back home but he'd been a field operative long enough to know that you had to pick the right time. They needed more intel before trying to leave. He figured this job would give him that.

He was right. Sam was less than pleased although she didn't say much. She had fixed dinner but instead of lingering afterward to talk, as had become their custom, she got up instantly and began to wash the dishes.

"Let me help", he offered.

"No. I'm fine Sir." She continued to wash, refusing to look at him.

"Sam? Come on. What's wrong?" When she didn't answer he finally walked up to her, took the plate from her hand and gently led her to the living room. "Sit."

She sat, with a mulish look on her face. Suddenly she reminded him of her father and he gave a small chuckle. This was going to be a challenge.

"Come on. Spit it out."

"What Sir? There's nothing to -"

"Don't lie to me Sam – not now. You know as well as I do that we need to trust each other and part of that is being honest. Now _spit it out_."

"Permission to speak freely Colonel?" she asked then.

"Of course – that's what I've been _asking_ you to do."

"I just don't understand why you don't seem to want to go home", she said. "You're making friends, getting a job, trying to fit in. Sir, this isn't our home. We've been here almost three months and we're no closer to finding a way home than we were before."

"Sam, that's exactly why I _am_ trying to make friends, and to fit in and why I took this job. We're getting nowhere by looking at books and talking to strangers. We need more information and we need to build trust before we can continue to search. If we were to suddenly start looking or planning to go to Terra Incognita, we'd raise all sorts of red flags." He turned to her and reached out and touched her arm.

"Of _course_ I want to go home. I want to see Daniel and Teal'c and General Hammond. I want to take Cassie to a movie and play catch with her. I want my house and my bed and – and", he rubbed his hand through his hair. "Carter, I don't even have a picture of my son. When they gave us back our things it was gone. I – and his grave is there. Don't you think I hate the fact that I can't go and visit him? His birthday is coming up in six weeks and I always go. Sara and I meet there and spend time together. I _want_ to go home. I just think we need to go about this carefully and do it right."

Suddenly she felt terrible. How could she have ever thought the Colonel would just give up? A small voice reminded her of Edora, but she knew that wasn't fair. In this case he had tried but he was right. They weren't getting anywhere by doing the things they'd done. She sighed and gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry Sir. I guess – I haven't ever been stuck like this before and I'm – homesick."

"Of course you are Carter", he said gently. "So am I. C'mere", he pulled her to him and put his arms around her and gave her a hug. "It's hard, I know, and I _have_ been through this before. My first instinct is to rush out and steal a transporter and drive to Terra Incognita, but I've learned to have patience. We'll get home Sam, I promise. It might just take a little longer than we'd like."

She allowed herself to relax against him. The feel of his shirt, the hard muscles beneath, and the wonderful smell that was Colonel O'Neill made her suddenly feel like everything would be okay. How could she have doubted? She pressed her face into his neck and shivered. He felt so good, so safe, so _warm_. She never wanted to leave him.

Jack had reached out and hugged his 2IC – to give reassurance and comfort. After a few minutes though it turned into a hug of Sam. Her warmth, her softness, her – beauty – pulled him in. He could feel everything around him recede and all he knew was her.

When she turned her face into him he shivered. He wanted to pull her closer, to hold her forever, to forget about rank and duty and even about getting home. He _wanted_ her – wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to – hell! What was he doing?

They seemed to realize at almost the same instant that the innocent hug was quickly becoming something else entirely. They pulled away from one another, neither looking at the other, both of them breathing too fast.

"I'm sorry Colonel", Sam said, trying hard to keep her voice steady. "I guess I was just worried. You're right", she told him.

"I am?" He wasn't sure what she was talking about. All he kept thinking was that he wanted to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom and –

"About fitting in. I think you're right. I'll try and see if I can find some work. I'll speak with Administrator Salea or maybe go to the hospital. Dr. Sergei may have some suggestions.

Well, _that_ certainly put a crimp in his mood – which was probably a good thing, although he would have wished it was something, anything, other than a reminder of the good Doctor. He rubbed his hand through his hair – again. "Okay, sounds like a plan. And don't worry Carter, it's normal to feel frustrated. I hate having to wait – don't think I don't. Just remember that we _are_ doing something, even though it may seem like we're not."

That night Jack lay in bed for a long, long time, thinking about the evening. He had been a bit surprised at how upset Carter had been, although he had to remember that this was her first time trapped and away from home for any length of time. He smiled, without humor. He'd been correct when he told her he was an old hand at this. What, this made – one time trapped on Earth (he figured being in prison in Iraq counted), and three times trapped on an alien planet? He shook his head. Maybe the universe was trying to tell him something.

"Yeah – it's telling you it's time to retire and stay home Jack", he whispered to himself. "Enough of this running around the galaxy."

He tried to avoid thinking about that hug, but no matter what he did it popped up in his thoughts. He knew that the past few months had deepened his feelings for Sam and he worried about where they would lead him. For a brief moment he wondered if maybe they _were_ stuck here and if he'd have the opportunity to – change things – with her. The sudden surge of joy that washed over him frightened him.

Tomorrow he had to work even harder to get them both home.


	9. Separation

_**Sorry folks – first week back to work so I was very busy. The following is definitely angsty so beware!**_

He was exhausted by the time he got home. Part of it was psychological, he knew, but some of it was pure physical tiredness. He'd been spending long days at the precinct office and it was starting to wear him out.

He'd taken the job as Assistant Administrator, thinking it might help them find their way home. He'd also thought it would help keep him from getting bored. What he hadn't expected was how much he had to do. And, being him, he couldn't just do the easy thing and let things ride. He snorted. No, you have to go and try and change the world again Jack, don't you?

The fact of the matter was that as soon as he'd arrived, that first day, he'd seen ten things wrong about the way things were run. The very first problem was that the offices weren't even in the same area they were policing. He knew in order to accomplish anything, they were going to have to establish a presence in the neighborhoods where the trouble was.

Administrator Rallay had been correct when he'd said that there would be some that would resent him. For a few all that was needed to create resentment was that he came in and took command – at least of the field units. For others it was simply that he was a refugee and no matter what he did or how competent he was, they'd still hate him. He shook his head – prejudice existed in all parts of the galaxy!

There were some, just a few, who were thrilled that he was there. Deneil was one of those as was his partner Jan. The two of them welcomed him and made his transition a bit easier. There were a handful of others who saw his arrival as a positive step in the right direction and he didn't want to disappoint them.

Then there were the majority of the men who were reserving judgment, for now. He would have to win their trust and their respect – not a bad thing in his eyes. He would have felt the same if their positions were reversed.

He started out by telling everyone his plan was to observe and not make any changes right away. He asked to hear the men's suggestions and ideas and find out what they thought was working and what they saw as some of the problems. In the end though, he made it very clear that he was the one in charge.

Working with the men – there were no women allowed in security details – proved to be very similar to what he'd done in the military. He did have trouble with the fact that there were no women, but, as he told Sam, he could only fight one battle at a time.

After he'd been there for a week he'd jotted down a number of things he saw that needed to be changed. He wrote them up and then presented them to Rallay. The older man took one look, whistled and handed the sheet back to Jack.

"Good luck", he told his subordinate. "You have quite a task in front of you."

"But you'll approve the changes?"

"I told you, I'd back you up on this. You're the one in charge."

"Thank you Sir", Jack acknowledged the other man. "What about the change in location?"

"Well, that might be a bit harder to accomplish because it will take some funds but we can at least start with your idea of a unit posted there. I'm sure some of the local businesses would be happy to give you space at no charge in return for increased safety."

So, Jack began to implement his strategy to clean up the streets of precinct 4, Terra Antiqua.

The first thing he did was pick out those men on the security force who were trouble makers. He'd watched carefully and could pick out three that were going to cause problems. He'd seen it in the Air Force and he knew what to look for and what he had to do.

He called them into his office, one by one, and fired them. A part of him felt guilty, but he knew that he had to get them out of the way or he wasn't going to move anything forward. He also reminded himself that he'd caught all of these guys making insulting comments about refugees and about women. He had made it very clear to all his men that neither was acceptable.

They shouted, swore and threatened, but Jack didn't back down. He arranged to give them all severance and then had them instantly cleared out. The others watched in silence as the three men collected their things and headed out.

He was now in week three of his job and so far things hadn't gone too badly. There'd been a bit of backlash at the idea of moving into the area they were policing, but Jack convinced them that it had to be done. Other than that he'd started looking at what further training they needed. It was obvious, to his trained eye, that the guys would be pretty useless in hand to hand combat. Since they didn't have guns – that he'd been able to see or hear about – on Terra Antiqua, fighting skills were absolutely necessary.

"Sam?" he'd asked her one evening after having watched the men engage in some hand-to-hand practice, "Can I ask a favor?"

"Sure Sir", she looked up. "What do you want me to do?"

The next day he'd taken Sam with him to the precinct. As she walked in the front door a number of the men stopped and stared. He was pretty sure if he hadn't been there there would have been some whistles and probably some inappropriate comments. Men were men everywhere.

"In here", he told her a while later. He looked around the small gym, to see that most of the men had shown up. "Good morning", he called. "Is everyone ready?"

"Why do we have to do this Colonel Jack? We know how to fight."

He'd finally convinced the men to use his Earth title, as 'Assistant Administrator Jack O'Neill', was way too wordy. "You don't know how to fight well enough", he told them. "You may _think_ you do, but I can promise you that you have a lot to learn."

The men scoffed and looked less than impressed. It was the first time any of them had openly questioned one of Jack's orders. "To prove to you that you all need to improve your skills, I have brought an assistant here today." He watched as all eyes turned towards Carter.

"This woman is Major Samantha Carter. She is a – security officer – and has been on my team for many years and she's here to show you how it's done. I'd like some volunteers who are willing to work with Major Carter."

Almost every hand flew up and Jack almost laughed. They would be changing their tune in a minute. "Okay, Eneth, you can come forward."

A big, burly officer stepped forward, a silly grin on his face. He probably thought he was going to get a chance to handle the woman and show his skills at the same time.

"Alright Eneth, I want you to pin Major Carter to the floor."

"I'll hurt her Sir", the burly man protested. Although he could be ferocious looking, Jack knew he was a pretty decent guy.

"Don't worry about her. Just do as I say."

Eneth stood in front of Sam, who looked relatively relaxed, although she was alert and keeping her eyes on the big man. He moved, surprisingly quickly for a large man, and tried to kick her legs out from under her and get her down on the mat. There was a quick flurry of movement and the next thing Eneth knew, _he_ was pinned down, looking up at the ceiling of the small gym.

"There folks", Jack grinned. "_That's_ how it's done." He waited a moment for Sam to put her hand down to help Eneth up. The man glared at her for a few seconds, but finally reached up and took her hand. He ended up by giving her a small grin and a nod, acknowledging her skill

"Okay, so who's next?" Jack looked around at all the men and this time no one had his hand up. "Alright, if there are no volunteers, I'll start picking people. Let's see – Willam, your turn."

Poor Willam looked almost sick, although he strode forward after Jack had called his name. He stood in front of Carter, with instructions to put her in a half-nelson hold. Within seconds his arm was pinned and the other guys were staring in wonder.

After that Jack picked two more men and had Sam quickly incapacitate them. After that he told them he'd spare the others and allow Sam to rest. He then spent the next forty minutes teaching them some moves and having them practice with one another. While they were practicing he went to speak with Sam.

"Thanks Major – that was very helpful."

"You don't think they were too humiliated being beaten by a woman?"

"Oh, probably. But they'll get over it. I think they're actually pretty happy to be learning some new skills. A number of them have been injured while on patrol. This training will give them an advantage."

Over the next few weeks Jack continued with the training and gradually made changes to the way the units were run. He established regular patrols so there was always a security presence and opened a neighborhood office, open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Things were going well at the precinct although there were still a few that hated the fact he was in charge. They were careful not to say or do anything overt, so Jack couldn't punish them or get rid of them, but he knew they would be trouble.

He was actually enjoying his time at the precinct although he was feeling guilty that he hadn't done more to try and get them home. It's not that he _wanted_ to stay here – far from it – it's just so far he hadn't come across anyone who'd heard of or seen a Stargate and he'd been too busy to do much in the way of investigation.

For a while Sam had asked him, every day, what he'd found out. Recently she'd stopped asking – and barely spoke to him. He knew she was angry at him, but he didn't know what else to do. He was pretty sure that eventually he could get a vehicle, but, as he'd explained to her, they were hard to come by and they weren't about to let a brand new employee have one.

He wished that Carter would get a job. Part of her problem was that she was stuck inside most of the day. As far as he could tell, she hadn't made any friends either. He'd actually gone out with a couple of the guys a few times after work and had become especially friendly with Deneil. He'd even men the man's wife when he'd been invited over for dinner. The invitation had been extended to Sam, but she'd refused, telling him she was working on something.

Of course that was a lie. He didn't know quite what was wrong with her, but she didn't seem to want to get to know any of the locals or even to do more than speak to them when she had to. He was pretty sure she'd be a lot happier iof she just relaxed and tried to fit in. There was no sin in that, as long as they kept looking for the gate.

That night he arrived back at the apartment, exhausted and hungry. Although he'd never expect anyone to make meals for him and to wait on him, he had to admit he'd gotten kind of used to it over the last few weeks. Carter didn't have much else to do outside of search up more on a possible Stargate and look after the house. That's why it was a surprise to find the apartment empty and no savory smells wafting through the halls.

"Carter?" he called, knowing if she was here she'd answer – the apartment wasn't big enough to hide in for long. After he received no answer the second time he called, he figured she must be out. He just hoped it was somewhere fun. She needed something – something other than looking for the gate, to keep her mind occupied. He worried that she was falling into a depression.

Even though he was tired, he decided to make dinner for them, trying to scratch up something tasty but easy. He ended up making the Terra equivalent of pasta and sauce. He waited as long as he could, but finally was too hungry and went ahead and ate, leaving a good amount for Carter.

It was late evening by the time she returned and he was beginning to get really worried. Although the area they lived in was relatively safe and she knew how to take care of herself, his own experience showed that bad things could happen. That's why, when she walked in, looking like everything was hunky dory he felt his anger grow.

"Have a fun evening?" he asked.

"Oh, hi Sir. It was okay." She walked into the little kitchen and started rummaging around, finally finding the pot of pasta. "Did you do this? Smells good."

"I ate quite a while ago", he told her shortly.

"Did you? Good." She started warming up the meal, not looking at him.

"So – where were you?" he finally asked.

"What?" She glanced at him. "Uh – nowhere in particular", she answered. "I'm glad you didn't wait for me."

"Yeah, well, I was starving and I had no idea when you'd be back _because you didn't tell me where the hell you were!"_

At that she looked at him more carefully and suddenly seemed to realize he was angry. He could tell the instant she got what he called the 'Jacob look'. It was a mule-headed stubbornness that he saw very rarely from Major Carter, although every once in a while it would rear its head.

"I didn't know I had to _Colonel_", she answered sharply. "If you'd told me I would have given you an itemized agenda of my day and where I was at every given moment. I'm sorry _Sir_!"

He took a deep breath, promising himself that he wasn't going to say something he regretted. "I have never said I expect you to tell me where you are during the day, but it's late and I had no idea where you were. You could have been hurt for all I knew. We're all alone here Carter and it's important we tell each other when we're going to be gone late."

"Like you did Colonel?"

"Exactly _Major_! That was a stupid thing to do but I thought we both learned from that. Sam, I was worried."

"I can take care of myself Sir."

"Can you? And if a bunch of criminals came after you at one time? I'm pretty good at taking care of myself too and I got hurt. It's just common sense that we tell one another."

"You've been late coming home", she answered, although she was sounding more hesitant now.

He sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. Where was this coming from? She sounded angry and resentful and as far as he knew he hadn't done anything to tick her off – at least not recently.

"I know – but you know where I am. I've had to put in long hours at the precinct while I try to sort it out."

She turned and began to serve herself her dinner, not saying anything for a moment. "What about looking for the Stargate?" she finally said, sounding weary.

"We're still looking", he answered. "And as soon as I have a chance I'll see about transport and we can really concentrate on it. Look, I know this isn't ideal, but I'm doing the best I can."

She nodded but didn't speak. After a moment she sat down and began to eat. He watched her for a few moments and sighed again. This was not going well and he really didn't know what to do. He wanted to go home – of course he did. Did she honestly think he was happy staying here?

"Look, I'll start asking around again and go through some files at work. There might be something I've missed."

Again she nodded, although she still didn't speak. She finished her dinner, cleaned up her dishes and then announced she was tired and was going to bed.

He lay in bed that night, feeling like things were spiraling out of control and he didn't know how to stop them. He finally turned over and tried to sleep, but had a restless night.

Sam lay in bed, also unable to sleep. She didn't know what was wrong with her. The Colonel's reaction was totally normal and, in fact, he had reacted better than he probably should have. She'd been irresponsible – she'd known it at the time – but couldn't help herself. In fact, she was almost sure she'd done it to get back at him - and she knew that was unfair. She was sure he didn't _want_ to stay on Terra, but her anger and resentment towards him had grown the longer they stayed. Now that he was working at a job he seemed to enjoy, she was even angrier, as much as she told herself it was unfair.

If she was being honest with herself – something she usually was, although that trait seemed to have left her as of late – she knew that her feelings were because of fear. Over the last few months she'd gotten to know the Colonel in a much different way than she'd known him before. The fact that they were living together allowed her to see him as not just the Colonel, but as a man. And what she'd realized was that she liked him even more now than she had when he was only her commanding officer. In fact, she was pretty sure that she loved him and that scared her.

It scared her because to let herself love him was to give up hope that they'd get home – or if they _did _get home then she'd lose him – and that thought was too painful to bear.

No, the best thing was to get out of here as quickly as possible and not let her feelings get out of control. And the best way to do _that_ was to be angry at him for his perceived lack of interest in getting them home.

She pounded her pillow in frustration. She wasn't being fair to him she knew – but she couldn't help herself. Her very sanity depended on it.

Over the next week things got steadily more strained between them. Jack tried to talk with her but she refused to say anything about what was really bothering her. He ended up by exploding at her, which of course made things worse rather than better. He just wished he knew what the hell to do.

Traman Deneil had become a friend, although Jack had to be careful not to appear as if he was favoring the man. Shortly after his blow up with Carter Deneil invited them both over again for dinner at his house. She – to no surprise, refused - again. He told her fine and decided to go anyway. After that he started spending more and more time with the couple. It was nice to spend time with someone who actually seemed to _like_ him and want to spend time with him and it kept him out of the apartment.

Sam finally got herself a job although it was only part time. She taught math and basic science at a local technical college. It was easy and not challenging at all but brought it some extra money. A couple of the other teachers reached out, trying to make her feel welcome, but she rebuffed their overtures and was soon left alone.

Things finally came to a head about five weeks after Jack had started working. He got home late, after a difficult day when he'd had to fire one of the men for dereliction of duty. The man had been posted in the neighborhood office and had taken off without letting anyone know. His partner, who was left alone, was then attacked by some local thugs. Fortunately he wasn't hurt badly, but it could have been serious.

Jack walked into the apartment to find it empty again. He still had no idea where Carter went in the evenings – she wouldn't tell him. He sighed and fixed himself something to eat. This time he didn't bother getting anything for her. Call him petty, but he was pissed and figured she could get her own dinner.

It was almost midnight by the time she got home and by that time he'd imagined all sorts of things – from her lying dead on the street to lying curled up in bed with Dr. Sergei. Both scenarios, and everything in between, either frightened or infuriated him.

To make matters worse, when she walked in she didn't say anything to him beyond a bare 'hi'. He waited for some explanation or apology. When none was forthcoming he figured this was it. He'd had enough and wasn't about to put up with it anymore.

"Where were you?" he finally asked.

"Out."

"Don't do this. I don't deserve to be treated this way. If you won't treat me with respect as a friend then fine, as your commanding officer I order you to tell me where the hell you've been!" There – how do you like _them_ apples Major!

"Fine _Sir_. I was out walking, okay? Or is there some rule against that? Should I ask you for permission the next time I go out? Please Sir, can I go for a walk Sir?"

"What the hell is the matter with you? All I'm looking for is some common consideration. I was worried sick thinking that you were lying hurt or dead somewhere. It's midnight!"

She knew she was in the wrong, that she should just apologize. Something – she didn't know what – was making her fight. There was a ball of fury and fear inside of her and it was about to tumble out, all over him.

"Do you really care?" she hissed. "I thought you were more interested in your friends here in Terra Antiqua. I'm just an added complication. You don't need to sit around and worry about me when I know you'd be much happier with them."

"Well at least they treat me decently", he shouted. "All you do is ignore me or seem to blame me for everything. I'm sick of it and sick of being treated like dirt!"

"Well then, why don't you leave?" she screamed back. "Oh no – you don't want to do that, do you? You like it here? You're king of the castle here on Terra. You're perfectly happy _never_ going back to Earth. I'd forgotten how easy it is for you to give up and start a new life where ever you land. Forgive me for worrying about getting home. Forgive me for thinking of Daniel and Teal'c and my family and actually working to make it back."

"And you think I don't?" he asked softly.

"It doesn't look like it to me – Sir. It looks like you're perfectly happy here. I probably just bug you by insisting you look for the gate."

He clenched his teeth together, not wanting to say anymore. He was no longer angry – just – hurt, that she could still believe that. He'd tried to talk to her, to tell her how he felt. He had tried to find any information he could – and had actually planned on telling her something he'd discovered today. But now – now he didn't want to tell her anything. He would continue to follow the lead he'd been given, but he wouldn't tell her until he knew for sure. In the meantime, he also knew he couldn't stay here anymore. He'd end up saying or doing something he'd regret.

He swallowed and took a deep breath. "It's obvious how you feel Sam", he said softly, "so I think the best thing is for me to go. You can have this place. It's paid until the end of the year with refugee benefits. That way I can't bother you with worrying about you and you can – do your own thing. I'm sorry that you think that about me but I obviously can't do anything to change your opinion. I'll get my things out tomorrow."

She stared at him in shock. What had she done? God – she didn't mean – she closed her eyes. He'd be happier without her so maybe it was a good idea. She had been a bitch, she knew it and this way he wouldn't have to put up with her. "I can go", she said softly. He shouldn't be the one to leave.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" he asked. "I didn't think so", he replied when she didn't speak. "I can stay with Deneil. He has an extra room. I'll – send you my address and you can get in touch with me at the precinct. If either of us finds out something about the gate we can get in touch with the other." He spoke softly, gently, although inside he was in turmoil. How had it come to this? He didn't know.

The next morning he took his things and left before Carter was out of her room. He'd ask Deneil today if he could stay. As he walked to work he acknowledged to himself that his heart was bruised – he felt like something had just died.


	10. Vini's Requisite Whumpage

_**My evilness abounds!**_

The air was crisp and the sky clear, the stars twinkling in their hundreds, if not thousands. She'd looked at them countless times but as beautiful as they were, they weren't the stars of home.

She walked slowly, hating the thought of going back to her lonely apartment. It was her own fault that she was alone, she knew that, but didn't know how to change things. She was still frightened, and still angry – whether at the Colonel or at herself it no longer seemed to matter. All she knew was that the apartment seemed cold and lifeless without his vital presence.

She thought back to the evenings they'd shared together - telling stories about their lives, or the times where they'd simply sat and laughed and talked about nothing in particular. She missed those times, with a terrible ache, even though they'd only happened for such a short time. She'd grown used to them – to him – and now felt like she'd suffered a terrible loss.

She sighed as she pulled her scarf closer around her neck. Winter was coming which made her feel even more depressed. Somehow it seemed as if it was the end of hope – that if she had to stay here over the winter it would mean she'd – they'd – never get home.

Just then she walked by someone she recognized. The person – a man – stopped and looked at her. It took her a moment but finally she remembered his name. "Mr. Deneil?" He was a friend of J – the Colonel's. She looked at him with a small smile. She hadn't heard anything from the Colonel other than a quick note since he'd left almost two months ago and she was anxious to hear something – anything about him.

It had clearly taken a moment for the man to remember where he knew her from. When he did, instead of smiling in return, his expression grew hard. He nodded sharply. "Samantha Carter, isn't it?" he asked.

Her smile faded. "Yes", she answered. "You're a friend of – of Jack O'Neill?"

"I am", he nodded. "I'm sorry, I have to be going." He nodded again and would have walked on but she quickly reached out and grabbed his arm. When he looked at her with eyebrows raised, and a less than agreeable expression, she quickly let go.

"I'm sorry", she apologized. "I'm just – have you seen him?"

"Who? Jack? Of course", he nodded.

"How – how is he?"

He looked at her sharply, his jaw clenching. "Fine, he's fine. Look, I don't feel comfortable about talking to you. I'm Jack's friend", he shrugged, and with that he began to walk on.

This time, she let him go. She stood outside her building for a long time, dreading going inside but not having anywhere else to go. She knew she shouldn't feel hurt over what that man had done – he'd tried to be friendly and hospitable before and she'd refused to have anything to do with him or his wife. And now – he was obviously protecting the Colonel. But she _did_ feel hurt – and angry. She finally pushed open the door and walked in – almost knocking over a woman who lived down the hall from her. The woman – god, she didn't even know her name – looked at her and then away. She clearly didn't want anything to do with her either.

Sam sat on her couch, in the dark, thinking about the past weeks and months. She was working almost full-time now – she really had nothing else to do. Oh, she still tried to find out what she could about the Stargate but everything had led to a dead end. The Colonel had said he would be in touch if he found out anything. She wondered if he was even still looking.

* * *

Jack _was_ looking – as hard as he could while still doing the job he'd been hired to do. The day of The Fight – he grimaced, realizing he thought of it with capital letters – he'd been planning on telling Sam that he'd found something interesting. It wasn't the Stargate – but it might lead to it. He'd never gotten the chance to tell her so decided to keep looking and find out more information. He knew he should have told her, but he'd been angry and hurt – and still was.

He tried to smile as Zara, Deneil's youngest daughter, came over and tried climbing into his lap. The kids were the one thing that seemed to make him smile these days, something Deneil and his wife Mora commented on frequently.

He was still living with them, in their spare room. He'd offered to leave, many times, but they wouldn't hear of it and truthfully he didn't seem to have the energy to do anything about it. He worked, came home and played with the kids and spent his evening and weekends searching out information. That was his life and his friends were growing worried.

Deneil had attempted to talk to him about getting out and meeting people – by that he meant _women_, Jack knew. That was the last thing he wanted or needed. What he did need was to find the Stargate and get Carter and himself home. After that well – retirement was looking good.

He thought about Carter – Sam – and wondered if she was dating the doctor. He knew he should have gone to see her before now, but he was too – what – he didn't know. He just knew he couldn't see her right now, not yeta. Maybe after he found the gate – but not now.

He did have the guys check to make sure she was okay and he'd spoken to Administrator Salea – who looked at him as if he was insane. Still, he knew there was no way he could _not_ make sure she was alright.

"Jack", Deneil came and sat down, picking up his daughter in the process and placing her on his knee, where he tickled her for a moment. "Tomorrow night Mora and I are going out. We want you to come with us."

"I don't think -"

"I am not asking O'Neill", his friend said sternly. "You have not gone out except to work for weeks. You need to relax!"

Jack sighed. "Okay fine. Where are we going?"

"We are going to dinner and for dancing."

"Dinner and _dancing_? I don't dance."

"Yes you do", Deneil told him smugly. "I saw you teaching Tela." Tela was his older daughter and had a school dance coming up. Jack didn't know if dances were the same on Terra, but he'd shown her a few steps of some simple Earth dances. "You are coming – and Mora has invited a friend. You will like her. She is pretty and very nice."

When Jack went to argue he was stopped by Mora coming into the room. "Please Jack?" she said softly. "My friend's husband died last year and she is lonely. It will just be a fun evening out. I promise there's nothing more than that. If you don't want to see her again, you don't have to."

Jack knew it was rarely as simple as that, but was aware that if he kept refusing he'd start to sound ungracious. He nodded and was rewarded by a grin from Daneil and a kiss on the cheek from Mora. "You'll have fun Jack", she told him. He nodded and smiled – but groaned inside. He was not looking forward to this.

* * *

Sam was finished work for the week. It was Terra's equivalent of the weekend – although it didn't mean anything to her other than the fact that she had two days to get through with nothing to do. She'd gone through every book she could find, she'd spoken to anyone who might have a clue and now didn't know where to look. She knew she needed to speak to the Colonel, and decided it was time to get in touch with him and see if she could repair this rift.

She decided to go for a walk as the evening was pleasant. It had been cold all week, but today the sun had shone and it had felt warmer. Maybe that is why she felt better today. There was nothing like a sunny day to cheer one up.

She walked for a long time, finally ending up in what was the city's entertainment district. It was full of restaurants and music halls and looked like a place people had fun. She couldn't help the sad feeling that rose in her throat to see the laughing, talking people around her. It was her fault she was alone, she knew and suddenly she cursed herself for her stupidity.

She continued to walk, occasionally looking into windows to see what people were eating. Some places looked more like bars and other were more formal. She started to feel rather hungry and was just debating whether or not to step into one of the places when she happened to glance in the window of a bistro that advertised dinner and dancing.

The person sitting there almost looked like the Colonel. She stared for a moment, sure it couldn't be, when she saw him lean back and laugh. It _was_ the Colonel! What was he doing here? She then looked at the others with him and noticed Deneil. He had his arm around a woman who must be his wife, she decided. She finally looked at the last person and then felt like she was going to be sick. Sitting beside the Colonel was a woman – a very attractive woman – and she was leaning into him, her hand on his arm. It was more than obvious that she was interested – she was practically eating him with her eyes. It was equally as obvious that he was enjoying the attention. He looked at her and said something which made her smile.

Sam turned and began to run, practically knocking a woman over in her haste to get away. She ended up running all the way back to her apartment, sobbing the entire way.

She finally stumbled in and collapsed on her bed, shaking in reaction. The tears were running down her cheeks but she barely noticed. Her heart was hurting and her throat felt like it had tightened so that she could barely breathe.

He had built a life here. He had a job he enjoyed and now he had a woman. What more could he want? There was no going home – the dream died and Sam knew she was more alone than she had ever been. She realized, for the first time, that there had always been the possibility they wouldn't get home – but she'd refused to admit it and had shut out everything – possible friends, a life and, most especially, Jack.

* * *

By the time they got back Jack felt exhausted. Leila was a nice woman and she had definitely been interested in him. He hadn't wanted to appear rude and had been as charming as he knew how to be, but the entire evening he'd sat there and compared her to Carter. It wasn't nice, or fair, and he hoped he hadn't let on. Still – he'd known a long time ago how he felt about his Major – and it would take more than a couple of months of separation to kill those feelings.

He'd thanked Deneil and Mora, but they'd known instantly that he wasn't seriously interested. Deneil had sighed and slapped him on the back. "You have it bad, my friend", he'd said. "Is she really worth it?"

Jack had shrugged him off, feeling angry that the man would even dare to say such a thing about Sam. Of course she was worth it!

He went to bed that night, thinking of her and deciding that enough was enough. Tomorrow he'd go and see her and deal with this ridiculous quarrel. He'd also tell her that he was getting close to finding the Stargate.

Unfortunately, he didn't make it to her place the next day. He was called into the precinct office to deal with an emergency. There had been a report that a few of the gangs that had been displaced when Jack started implementing some of his changes had gotten together and were planning on hitting the businesses in his precinct. He knew it was important that he be there – and that his men were also out on patrol. He was determined to deal with the crime and violence that existed in pockets in the city.

Things had slowly been getting better, and the local businesses were thrilled. A number of wanted criminals had been picked up and arrested – although one of the worst was still at large and they'd heard he was the one stirring up trouble.

Deneil and Jan had informed him that it was Kevane's brother Chumore who was behind the trouble. "He was the one that got away that night you were attacked", Jan told him. "Be careful. He's told people he wants to kill you. He blames you for the fact that his brother is in prison."

Jack wondered what it was that made so many people – or aliens – want to kill him. He really did just want to live a peaceful life. Retirement sounded better all the time. So did getting back to Earth. Tomorrow he'd go and see Carter and tell her about his findings and they could make some plans. He was surprised at how happy that thought made him and his step was lighter as he walked.

It may have been that he was distracted, or maybe it was the evening light shining in his eyes. Whatever it was, he didn't see the man come towards him until it was too late. It was only as he looked up, and saw the hatred gleaming at him from a pair of dark eyes, that he realized.

He tried to move away, to pull his weapon, but someone was behind him and that person grabbed his arms and held on. The next thing he knew the guy with the hateful eyes was punching him – hard. The first punch made him lose all the air in his lungs – the second made him lose his lunch.

For the next few minutes he was held and beaten. Whoever had hold of him was strong – stronger than he was – and he couldn't get loose. As the beating went on and he began to lose awareness he wondered if this was it. Would he live to get home?

He felt the cold metal as it entered his chest and it answered his question – or at least he was pretty sure it did. He was going to die on Terra Antiqua. His last thought was he shouldn't have left it so late. He should have told Sam how he felt.

* * *

The pounding on her door startled her. She grew frightened for a moment, thinking about all of those people who hated refugees. Were they coming to attack her? It was only when she heard her name being called and the pounding repeated, that she decided to check it out. She glanced through the peep hole to see someone she didn't know. She did recognize that it was a security officer though so, with fingers crossed, she opened the door.

"Yes?" she frowned. "What do you want?"

"Are you Samantha Carter?" the officer asked. He looked as if something awful had happened and she grew even more frightened.

"Yes – yes I am. What is it? What's wrong?"

"Assistant Administrator O'Neill has been injured", he said in a rush. "You are listed as the contact in his file. I was sent by the Administrator to get you."

"Injured? Oh God. What happened? Where is he?' She looked around frantically, trying to find her coat.

"He is at the hospital", the officer told her. "I'm sorry – they said it doesn't look good so we must go quickly."

"Not good – what?" She stopped and stared but at his impatient sound she followed him, practically running after him. "He can't – no, he has to be okay. Please, tell me he's okay?"

"I'm sorry", he said again. "I wish – he's a good man", he said in a rush. "We'll get the bastards that did this." He escorted her into a vehicle – the first time she'd ridden in one since the day she and the Colonel had gone to look at the Death Glider. The Colonel - ! She covered her mouth, feeling like she was going to be sick. "He'll be okay", she said, although she knew it was more of a prayer than a reassurance.

The officer – he'd said his name at one point but she couldn't remember it – raced through the streets, his lights flashing and the siren blaring. They arrived at the hospital – it was the same one she and Jack had been in – in under ten minutes. She was out of the car before it stopped moving.

"This way", he gestured for her to follow him. They went in through the Medic's Entrance – and through to Emergency.

Sam stopped when she saw Deneil – and the woman who had been with him the other evening – sitting in the waiting room. The woman was in tears.

Deneil looked up at that moment and frowned at the officer beside her. "What is she doing here?" he asked bluntly.

"The Administrator told me to bring her. She is listed as his contact."

The woman looked up at that, glancing at Sam. Deneil scowled. "He should have changed that", he said. "You don't need to be here", he told Sam bluntly. "I'm sure Jack would have taken your name off if he'd remembered."

"Traman!" the woman reproached him. "Not now." She stood up and came over to Sam and stuck out her hand. "I am sorry – this is hard. My name is Mora, I'm Deneil's wife."

Sam took her hand and shook it briefly. "The Colonel?" When the others looked confused she shook herself. "Jack? How – is he – please?" she couldn't say anymore, knowing she was ready to break down.

"We don't know", Mora said gently. "The doctor – said it didn't look good. He was beaten and then -", her voice cracked and she lifted her fist to her mouth. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked beseechingly at her husband.

"He was stabbed", he said bluntly. "In the chest. He lost a lot of blood and there is internal damage. They don't think he'll live."

Sam sobbed and dropped down to the floor, her legs giving way. No – this couldn't be happening. Why – why? It was her fault – somehow she knew it was. "No", she sobbed. "He can't die, not the Colonel."

"I don't know who this Keranel is", Deneil said harshly. "But Jack is probably dying. I'm surprised you even care!"

"Traman, stop it!" he wife said angrily. "Now is not the time for this. She is upset and obviously cares for him and you know how Jack felt. Stop this now!"

"She _cares_ for him?" her husband said sarcastically. "That's why she treated him the way she did? That's why she wouldn't have anything to do with his friends, or try and fit in – in the end she wouldn't even have anything to do with him. She just sat at home and felt sorry -"

"ENOUGH!", Mora cried. She looked down at the woman on the floor and bent over. Taking her arm she gently pulled her up. "Come, sit on a chair. You mustn't do this to yourself."

"He's dying", she said to the other woman, sounding confused and bewildered.

"There's hope, as long as he still lives."

"Maybe – your – maybe he's right. Jack won't want me here." Sam wasn't sure of anything except Jack must hate her. "Where's – where's his girlfriend?" she asked, suddenly looking around.

"Girl – I don't know -" Mora looked at her husband in confusion, but he simply shrugged and turned away. "Do you mean betrothed? He does not have a betrothed. He has -"

"She must mean Debara", Deneil threw in. "We should inform her right away. She will want to be here."

Mora looked at him again in confusion – not quite sure what was going on. It was when her husband glared at her that she realized what he was doing. She shook her head – she would have no part in this.

"Look Samantha", she said gently. "Jack would want you to be here. You are the one who is important to him. Debara is my friend, not his. Right now we have to think about him getting well – nothing more."

Sam nodded, knowing that it was ridiculous to be thinking about the other woman when he could be dying. She felt her throat constrict. God no – please don't let him die.

They sat in the waiting room for hours. As hard as it was, at least it was better than having someone come and tell them they'd done all they could and that he was gone. Sam discovered that emergency rooms here were much like they were on Earth – with little or no information being shared with them from the nursing staff. She wished, more than anything in the world right now, that Janet was behind those doors.

Mora helped her by talking softly to her and trying to give her hope and strength, even though she herself was in despair. Deneil didn't speak with her at all and any time she looked at him he would respond with a look of anger or disgust. She couldn't help but wonder what the Colonel had said to him to make him hate her.

"He didn't say anything bad about you", Mora said, as if suddenly reading her thoughts. "But he wasn't happy and Deneil decided it was because you'd hurt him. I thought it was because you didn't love him even though he loved you – but I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"About him loving me?"

"No", Mora smiled, "about you not loving him. You do, don't you."

Sam sobbed. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because – it's wrong", she said, closing her eyes.

Mora frowned. "Wrong – but why? I mean, you're not – related or anything?"

"Related? No, oh no", Sam gave a small laugh. "It's – where we come from, we work together and we're not allowed to be together – like that."

"But – that's not the case here. It's not wrong in Terra Antiqua."

How could Sam explain to this woman that they had planned to go home, to leave Terra and return to Earth where it _was_ wrong? On this world no one could return to Terra Nova – there were still reports of fire in the sky. So it didn't make sense to Mora and Sam wasn't quite sure what to say.

"I know it's – silly – but I still feel –" She didn't finish but instead gave a sad smile. "I just _feel_ like it's wrong, you see. I know – I hurt him, but I didn't mean to."

"_Do_ you love him?"

"Yes – I love him."

Mora reached out and took her hand, glaring at her husband when it looked as if he was going to say something.

They were sitting like that when the door to the emergency room opened and a doctor, dressed in the same uniform she's seen before, came out.

"Is anyone here Assistant Administrator Jack O'Neill's next of kin?"

She had an insane desire to giggle. Even now they were concerned about position and protocol. The feeling didn't last however. Mora gave her hand a squeeze and then let go, and Sam stood up. Deneil looked again as if he wanted to speak but another glare from his wife had him biting his lip.

"I am", Sam answered quietly.

The doctor looked at her for a moment as if assessing her. His expression then turned regretful. "I am so sorry."

Sam's world came to an end.


	11. Would I?

When Sam looked stunned and unable to reply, Deneil stepped forward, his own face registering his shock. "He's – gone?"

"No, oh no", the doctor replied, sounding apologetic. "I'm sorry Ma'am – Assistant Administrator O'Neill is still alive, but what I meant is I'm sorry, that it doesn't look good."

What? She looked up, still not understanding. She felt someone's hand on her back and turned her head to see the woman – she couldn't even remember her name. "What's he saying?" she whispered.

"He's alive Samantha", Mora told her gently. She then looked at the doctor. "Can she see him?"

"Yes – although I warn you, it will be distressing for her."

Mora looked in hesitation at the woman by her side. She didn't know if Samantha would be able to handle this and wondered if she should ask the doctor to give her some kind of sedative. As she looked at her, however, she suddenly saw a change as she straightened her spine and her expression turned from despair and shock to determination.

"I'm okay", she said, more firmly. "I want to see him."

The doctor still looked hesitant but finally nodded. "Follow me. Do you want your friends to accompany you?"

Sam glanced back at Mora, wondering if it would help to have her with her. She certainly didn't want Deneil to accompany her. "No", she answered softly, smiling at the woman who had been so kind. "I'd rather – see him alone. I hope you understand Mora?"

"Of course", the other woman smiled. "We'll be here if you need us."

Sam nodded and followed the doctor. She felt ashamed at how she'd reacted, at how weak she'd been since hearing about the Colonel. No – at how weak she'd been since they landed on Terra. Now she was going to be strong – the way she had always been in the past. She had heard the doctor say it was bad – but he didn't know O'Neill. Janet had always said he was one of the toughest men she'd ever seen. And she was going to sit by his bed and damn well make sure he didn't decide to go and die on her.

She stopped briefly at the door and the doctor looked at her in concern. She gave him a nod and then walked past him into the room.

She'd seen the Colonel when he'd been hurt or ill on different occasions throughout the years. Still, when she saw him she felt her knees go weak again. He looked as if he was already – no Sam, don't even _think_ that. His face was so pale as to be translucent, the blue tinge to his skin giving it an unearthly look.

As always in hospitals, there seemed to be an inordinate number of machines all whooshing, and beeping and clicking. She knew they were keeping him alive, but they looked so invasive and – she hated to even think it –terribly old-fashioned. Maybe that wasn't quite the word – but they certainly didn't look up to the standard of medical equipment they had on Earth. Hopefully though they were enough to keep him alive.

"Jack", she said softly as she sat on the chair one of the nurses brought. She reached out and tenderly took his hand. "I'm here." She sat for a few minutes, watching as the machine breathed for him, his chest barely lifting with each breath. The sheets were pulled up to his waist and the rest of him was bare, expect for the bandage around his chest. She could see the horrible bruises on both the top and bottom of the wide bandage – and on his face and arms. They told her he'd been beaten and then stabbed. As she looked at him she vowed revenge on the ones who had done this.

The nurses came in every few minutes, checking on him and giving her sympathetic smiles and pats of encouragement. They never strayed far – their desk was only feet from his bed although a glass partition offered some semblance of privacy. She knew they pitied her and that they'd already written Jack off. She wasn't about to.

Sam leaned forward and began to speak. "I'm sorry", she said softly. "I drove you away with my stupid fears. I treated you terribly and you didn't deserve that. When you're better", she had to stop to keep from crying. "When you're better I hope you kick my butt, because I deserve it."

She sat another few moments in silence but then decided she had to tell him. He would not hear or remember this, but she needed to tell him anyway. "You see – I've loved you for a long, long time. I've known it here", she touched her chest, "but refused to admit it to myself, or to anyone else." She smiled slightly, "although I think that Janet knows and Cassie's sure of it! You see", she went on, "when we landed here and we spent all that time together at the apartment, I started to get frightened that I could no longer keep it a secret, from you or from myself. And somehow, admitting it meant that I'd given up hope of getting home. I'm sorry", she repeated again. "I didn't want to hurt you because - you mean everything to me."

She watched as the machines continued to work, but there was absolutely no reaction from the Colonel. He was deeply unconscious and likely to remain that way for a long time – maybe forever! Stop it! She couldn't give up hope – she couldn't let those thoughts even get close. Her job was to convince him to live, regardless of how badly he was hurt. She would pull him back from the other side if he so much as dared to die.

"You hold on Jack O'Neill", she leaned forward and whispered fiercely. "Don't you dare even _think_ of letting go."

She continued to sit there through the rest of the evening and late into the night. The nurses – and the doctor – all came by and told her to go and rest, that there was nothing she could do here. She could tell by the way they spoke that they were just waiting for him to give up, to die. She was not about to let that happen and so refused to leave. She was keeping him alive – she knew it.

By the middle of the night she was practically falling over from exhaustion but she still couldn't leave. She put her head on the bed next to his arm even though there was barely enough room for it. Within moments she was asleep, although even then she was aware, deep inside, that she had to hold on to him. His hand was still clutched in hers and would remain that way until he was out of danger.

"Miss Carter", a voice spoke in her ear. Her eyes opened slowly and she had trouble remembering where she was although she knew it was odd to awaken with someone staring into her face from inches away. It was only when she noticed the uniform that it all came back.

"Oh!" she lifted her head quickly, feeling suddenly dizzy. She panicked for a moment that Jack was – gone – but then she heard the machines and felt his hand in hers – it was cool, but not cold. She blinked away the tears and looked into his face. It was morning and a ribbon of light was coming in through the window. It illuminated his face, but rather than softening his appearance, it made him look even sicker and closer to death. His face now looked gray rather than blue and the color change was frightening. It was almost as if the cowl of death was slowly being pulled over him.

"Don't you dare!" she hissed to him. She glanced up to see the shocked face of one of the nurses. The poor woman probably thought she was a bitch to get mad at him while he was so sick. "I was just telling him he'd better not die", she explained. The nurse nodded and gave her an encouraging smile.

"He made it through the night", she told Sam. "That's a good sign. We didn't think", her voice petered out as if she realized that what she was going to say probably wasn't terribly appropriate. "He's a fighter", she ended instead.

"He is", Sam agreed with a teeny smile. "My friend who's a doctor says he's one of the most obstinate men she's ever seen."

"She?"

"Uh – we have women doctors where I come from. Please – how is he doing this morning?"

The nurse suddenly looked uncomfortable and started tidying up the room. It was only when Sam reached out and stopped her that the nurse looked at her again.

"He's very sick", she said gently. "He lost a lot of blood and there was damage, inside. The surgery was very complicated and Dr. Benzan didn't think he would even make it through."

"But now?"

"I – don't want to lie to you Ma'am", the nurse told her. "You need to prepare yourself. He is in very serious condition and his heart and lungs are only working because of the machines."

Sam was startled and looked over at the machines. Did this mean – was Jack going to need machines to keep him alive or – "Will he be able to go off the machines if he gets better?"

The Nurse grimaced slightly, clearly not wanting to lie but at the same time knowing how difficult this must be for Sam. "Maybe, although that's not for a long while yet. If he can make it through the next few days, and his heart gets stronger, than yes – but that's not a sure thing and I don't want you to get your hopes up. It's better that you prepare yourself."

She nodded to the nurse but turned away. There was no way in hell the nurses or doctors were going to tell her he wasn't going to make it. They didn't _know_ him, not like she did. He was stubborn and a fighter.

"You hear me Jack?" she said. "You will hang on and stay alive. I'm here and I won't leave you so you'd better get well!"

For the rest of the day she stayed beside him. She only got up a few times to use the bathroom, even though the nurses kept urging her to lie down and rest. They finally brought Mora in to try and convince her.

She smiled tiredly at the woman. "If it was Deneil, would you leave?" was all she said.

Mora smiled back and shook her head. "At least go and get something to eat and have a wash. It'll help. I promise I'll stay here until you're back."

Sam was torn, but knew she did have to eat or she'd collapse. She also felt grubby and even a sponge bath would feel good. "You'll make sure to tell him to hang on. I won't let him give up!"

"Don't worry", Mora gave a sad grin. "I'll make sure and tell him – and I'll threaten to have Deneil come and tell him off if he even considers it. Now go – the nurses have some towels and cloths and a change of clothes for you. I'm afraid it's just a hospital uniform but it'll feel better."

The half hour away did refresh her even though she'd found it difficult to eat anything. When she arrived at his room she had to stop for a moment, a feeling of fear washing over her. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. She let out a sigh when she saw Mora with her hand over Jack's talking to him softly. She lifted her head when Sam entered.

"I think he missed you", she said with a smile. "But he's still alive." She stood and allowed Sam to sit. "I'm going to go and bring some of your things here", she said. "If you give me your key I can have Deneil take me there."

"You don't have -"

"Of course I do", she said calmly. "We're here for you Samantha, and for Jack."

"Deneil?" Sam asked with a grimace.

"Don't worry about him. He's very protective of his friends but he doesn't always understand. He won't say anything to you, I promise."

After Mora had left Sam thought about Jack's friends. He was good a picking them, she thought. Even though Deneil didn't like her, both he and Mora were good people.

Over the next few days Jack continued to hold on, although there didn't seem to be any change. The doctors still sighed and looked serious, even though she was pretty sure they were surprised he'd held on so long. She knew they thought it was inevitable that he die but she decided to ignore their warnings. Jack was going to make it – there was no other choice.

It was the fifth day since he'd been attacked and she was sitting in her usual chair by his bed. There wasn't room for a cot so the staff had at least found a more comfortable chair and brought her a pillow and blanket. Except for the odd moments away, when Deneil or Mora would stay with him, she stuck by Jack's side. She was sitting there this day, holding his hand and simply staring at him, when she heard her name being said softly.

She turned around slowly – she was too tired to move quickly anymore. "Dr. Sergei", she said. "Hello."

"Samantha!" He walked towards her and knelt down and reached out and took her free hand. "I am so sorry my dear. I have been away on a teaching trip and just now returned. I heard what happened." He looked solemnly at Jack but then turned back to her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine", she tried to smile, although it was a pathetic attempt. "I'm just waiting for Jack to get better", she explained.

"Samantha!" he bit his lip. "You must know – you have to understand that he is not going -"

"Don't say it", she said fiercely, pulling her arm away. "He is going to be fine. You don't know him – the others don't know him. Jack O'Neill is _not_ going to die."

"This is not good", he told her. "You must come and get some rest. The nurses will watch out for him." He attempted to pull her up from the chair but she resisted.

"No – leave me alone", she hissed. "He needs me. If I leave him he _will_ die, don't you understand?" She knew she must be sounding crazy and briefly closed her eyes. But she wasn't – not in the slightest. Daniel and Teal'c would understand – in fact they'd be right here with her. She practically sobbed - she wanted them both so desperately right now. She wanted Teal'c's calm certainty, his deep and abiding friendship. She wanted Daniel's compassion and loyalty and presence. And she wanted Janet – she wanted her friend here telling the Colonel to hold on or she was going to make him sorry! And she wanted General Hammond's quiet strength and safe presence – knowing that he was there, often in the background, but making sure everything was okay.

She wanted her friends and her family – and she wanted Jack to wake up and _tell_ them. Tell them you're going to be okay Sir – not to give up on you!

"Samantha come", Dr. Sergei said firmly, pulling her up. "You can't do this to yourself. You'll get sick. We're doing everything we can for your friend."

"No!" she pulled away from him, but then forced herself to stay calm. Sounding hysterical wouldn't help her. "You don't understand Doctor. This is what we do for one another", she explained. "There have been many times that one or the other of us has gotten hurt and we are _always_ there for each other. If it was me that was hurt, he'd be by my bed, refusing to move. I can do no less. Please don't make me leave. He needs me and if you make me go I believe he'll give up and die - and I will never forgive you or myself for that."

Dr. Sergei looked at her seriously, as if trying to figure out if she was serious – or if she was, in fact, crazy. After a moment he seemed to give in. "Okay, but I won't let this go on for too much longer", he told her. "I know you care for your friend, but he is very gravely ill and you sitting by his bed can't do anything."

"You don't believe in miracles Doctor?" she asked gently.

"I believe in science", he answered, sounding angry.

"I do too", she told him. "I _am_ a scientist – but I've seen things that science cannot explain. And I've seen miracles", she smiled. "I also know that love is stronger than any science so you see – my being here _does _make a difference." She turned and sat down and reached for Jack's hand and held on.

Dr. Sergei watched for a few more moment and then, with a shake of his head, he turned and left.

Sam leaned forward and spoke. "Colonel, if you can hear me, now would be a really good time to wake up. They aren't going to let me stay here forever and I'm afraid what will happen when I leave." She sighed and leaned back when he didn't stir. For the first time she wondered what she was going to do. The fact was, she couldn't hold on much longer – she was just too exhausted.

She opened her eyes and watched him, like she'd done hour after hour. She could no longer tell if he looked better or worse or the same. His eyes seemed sunken in his face and his skin still looked gray. What was even more frightening was how still and – lifeless – his face seemed. His lips had thinned to the point they were barely visible and his cheeks were sunken. His eyes were closed –

"Colonel?" There were two spots of brown peeking out from beneath half-opened eye lids. He was awake and looking at her. "Colonel?" she smiled, wanting to shout.

His eyes, what little she could see of them beneath the hooded lids, seemed to follow her, although there was no other reaction from him. She didn't know if he was aware or if it was more of an autonomic reaction. She watched him carefully, hoping for something else, but there wasn't anything.

Suddenly she wanted to cry. This wasn't the way he was supposed to wake up. He was supposed to open his eyes, look at her, and make some snarky comment. Okay – the fact that he still had a breathing tube in meant he couldn't speak, but even so he should have shown some reaction.

She squeezed his hand. "Sir – you're in hospital. You're going to be okay, although you were hurt. You have a breathing tube in and lots of machines monitoring you – but I'm here and I'll stay with you. You just get better okay?"

His eyes continued to stare and it became steadily more disconcerting. She wondered if she should call the nurse. Just then she noticed that his lids began to drift closed. "I'm here Sir", she whispered.

It was then that she saw his hand attempt to move. It lifted just a tiny bit off the mattress but then that was it. She gave up hope of anymore – and decided to be happy that he was alive and that he'd woken up. "Hang in there Sir", again she whispered.

His head moved a couple of millimeters and it took her a second to realize he had just nodded to her. My god – he _did_ understand and he'd answered her. "Thank you Sir", she told him. She gave his hand a squeeze and finally smiled. He was going to make it.

She told the nurses what had happened but they didn't believe her. Oh, it wasn't that they out and out said that to her, but she could tell, from their patronizing pats and smiles that they thought she'd lost it and was imaging things. She almost wondered if maybe they were right, except for the fact that again that day Jack woke up.

"Hi Sir", she said smilingly. "I see you've decided to wake up?"

"Are you feeling okay?" Nothing happened – at all. He didn't seem to understand her – or he was simply refusing to respond. It bothered her but there was nothing she could do. She then grew serious. "Do you need more pain killers?"

There was still no reply and Sam knew that he was probably suffering, but wouldn't do anything to alert anyone. She sighed and got up, calling softly for the nurse.

"What is it?" the harried nurse asked her, a bit harshly.

"I think he needs more pain medication", Sam answered calmly. "He looks like he's hurting."

This nurse was clearly impatient and didn't feel like 'humoring' Sam. It was only when she turned towards Jack, and saw that his eyes were open, that she realized that Sam wasn't kidding – or crazy.

"Oh my goodness", she said, seeming flustered. "I'd better get the doctor."

"Can't you give him some pain medication first?"

"I – a little." The nurse got a syringe and injected something in his IV. She then ran out of the room, presumably to call the doctor.

"It's nice to see you awake Sir", Sam told him, still holding his hand. "You scared me this time."

She could see the tiny frown lines on his forehead and wanted to curse herself. He didn't need to be worried about anything right now. "You're looking better than you were. Your friends the Deneils were by and sat with you."

His eyes were starting to drift closed again, and she wondered if he understood anything she was saying. It was going to be a long recuperation – but it would happen.

The next day the doctors came and did a bunch of tests on him. Sam insisted she had to be there but they finally overruled her. She went and showered and changed while they checked the Colonel out, although she worried and fretted the entire time. It was almost two hours before she could see him again – and when she did she was furious.

They'd left everything in his room, including his covers, a mess. He was awake, but was looking extremely distressed and his heart rate was fast and weak. "What the hell?" she strode over and took his hand. "I'm sorry Sir – they wouldn't let me stay. I'm here now though." She sat with him, stroking his hand and forehead, until he eventually went to sleep.

"How's he doing ma'am?" The night nurse – one of her favorites – came over and checked Jack's charts. "He looks fine, although he's probably tired after all those doctors. She gave him a smile and a pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you", Sam said softly. This nurse was one of the few who had seemed to agree with her that Jack was going to live. She was also one of the only ones to actually interact with him or speak with him. The others treated him – not badly – but as if he couldn't understand them.

"There's nothing to thank me for", the nurse said with a smile. "He's a strong one and I think you'll see him start to get better soon. It won't be easy - but with you at his side he'll do it!"

Sam smiled and looked down at the man she loved. He was sound asleep, which was exactly what he needed. She reached up and touched his hair. God, she loved him.

"Just come with me for a walk outside the hospital. You need the fresh air." Dr. Sergei had finally accepted that she was going to stick with Jack until he was better, but he still tried to convince her to spend some time out of his room. She knew that he liked her – was interested in her – but she couldn't even get up the energy to worry about it. All her attention and focus was on the Colonel. That's all she cared about.

He was waking up for longer and longer periods of time, but he didn't make any kind of response to the people who spoke to him. He didn't even object to the breathing tube, which she knew was highly unusual for him. It was always the first thing he wanted to get rid of. That and the catheter. This time though, he didn't even seem to notice all the equipment.

He would open his eyes and stare at her, for minutes at a time until he grew tired and slept again. His eyes would follow her around the room, even though his head and body didn't move. After a while it became rather eerie – and she wished he'd simply wake up, get rid of the tube and start to joke with her again.

It was almost a week since he'd woken up and she still hadn't seen any change. Dr. Sergei came to see her, but this time told her he needed her to come with him. "I need to speak with you Samantha", he told her, "and I don't want to do it with O'Neill there."

She sighed but stood up, wondering if this was a professional or personal meeting. She didn't even know which she'd prefer.

"I need to talk to you about O'Neill", he said gently, getting her to sit beside him on a couch in the waiting room. "Did the doctors explain that he had severe injuries and blood loss."

"Yes", she frowned. Where was this going?

"Did they tell you what that might mean?"

"They all thought he was going to die", was all she said.

"I see." He rubbed his hands through his hair – a gesture so reminiscent of the Colonel that she wanted to laugh – and to cry. "I think we were all surprised that he held on. He _is_ a tough one."

She nodded but waited, knowing he'd need to get to the point sooner or later.

"The fact is Samantha", he paused. "We think there's been some major brain damage."

She just stared at him, not sure what he was saying. "No", she said calmly, clearly. "He's fine."

"You have to be realistic my dear", he started to say, but she interrupted.

"No – I mean – I _am_ being realistic. None of you understand", she told him clearly. "From the beginning you all thought he was going to die and now you're saying he's damaged – but you don't know him. I know it will take a while, but he's going to be okay."

Sergei began to look frustrated and as if he wanted to shake her. She could understand that – could understand _them_ – but she also knew they were wrong. Jack was there – he was just in hiding for a while. "If that's all?" she asked him.

The doctor nodded, briefly, sharply and watched as she turned and walked back to the hospital room. He'd tried, that's all he could tell the others. One day she'd find out the truth – it would be hard, but he'd be there to help her.

She sat beside O'Neill, telling him a few stories of her teaching, although she mostly embellished them trying to amuse him. Deneil and Mora also still came by, when they could, and talked to him. There were others from the precinct, including the Administrator, a clear demonstration of how much he meant to all of them.

Sam couldn't help but think of the fact that if there situation was reversed, the only person she would have had by her bed was the Colonel. She was disgusted at herself for the way she'd acted since being on Terra. She decided there and then, that when the Colonel was better things were going to change.

"Excuse me Ma'am", a doctor she'd only seen once or twice was standing beside the bed, looking down at the Colonel.

"What is it?" the lines appeared on her forehead.

"I'm here to take out his breathing tube", the young doctor told her. "We'll make sure he can breathe on his own and if not I'm afraid I'll have to put it back in."

She nodded – having seen this before. She walked quickly to the nursing station and asked for ice. If this went well the Colonel was going to need something to wet his mouth.

Sam stepped back and watched as the doctor, with the help of one of the nurses, carefully started to remove the tube. She watched closely and suddenly noticed that Jack's eyes were moving frantically – he was trying to locate her. "I'm here", she said quickly stepping up to the other side of the bed. She reached out and took his hand. "I'm with you – it's okay."

The doctor nodded at her and then began the quick and uncomfortable removal of the tube. The Colonel coughed and then gagged – until Sam took the spoon and held it to his mouth. "Ice Sir – open up."

He followed her instructions and then looked at her – she was sure it was with gratitude. The next few moments they all stood quietly, watching as the doctor monitored Jack's breathing.

"It looks good", he finally said. With instructions to the nurse to keep an eye on him for the next few hours, he smiled at Sam and left.

"He'll feel more comfortable now", the nurse said with a smile. "Those things aren't pleasant – but they are necessary."

"I know", she answered, her eyes on the Colonel. "How are you Sir? Does that feel better?"

His eyes moved to her face and he simply looked. It must have been almost a minute later when she was sure that his mouth lifted in a small grin and he gave her a nod.

He _was_ better – she was sure of it. She smiled and squeezed his hand. "So", she said, "the sooner you start talking, the sooner you can order me around Sir", she told him.

This time she was sure of it – he smiled, although it was a small one – and he nodded.

She grinned and laid her head down beside his. "Everything's good Sir. We're gonna be alright!"


	12. Recuperating

_**Kind of an interlude chapter. Sorry**_

_**By the way - thank you all SOOOOOO much for the lovely reviews (Over 30 for chapt 10) They're definitely making me want to post every evening!**_

O'Neill's world was incredibly small. He had no idea where he was or what was happening. He knew something was not right in that world; he was in pain, but he couldn't tell where or why. He also had no idea who or what all the sounds and shadows were that seemed to float around him. There was only one thing he knew, and that was Sam.

He watched her and held on to her as if knowing she was all that kept him tethered to this place. When she wasn't there he grew frightened – lost in the dense fog that seemed to surround him. Once the shadows had come and done things to him – there had been sounds – but he hadn't known what it was about and he was afraid. Until she returned and touched him.

He knew there was something else, something beyond her, but he didn't have the strength to find it, or even to look. Instead he allowed himself to drift, to exist, always held safely by her. His eyes were on her now and he felt his heart slow and his eyes grew heavy. He was safe.

Sam watched as the Colonel drifted off to sleep. It had been almost three weeks now and still he lay there, not speaking, barely responding. She could feel her determination start to weaken. Could the doctors be correct? No, she wouldn't allow herself to believe that. He _had _to get well. There was no other choice.

"Samantha?" Mora was standing inside the door, a hesitant smile on her face. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" she smiled at the other woman, glad to have some company. She was incredibly grateful for the support the other woman had given her and had come to think of her as a friend. Although Mora couldn't spend a lot of time at the hospital, as she had young children, she helped when she could.

Deneil came by regularly, usually after work. He was no longer rude but he was still distant and didn't speak with her beyond asking about Jack. At the same time she'd come to appreciate him as his daily visits allowed her a few moments to clean up and get something to eat. She just wished he could believe that she cared for the Colonel – but she was convinced he would always mistrust her.

"How are you doing?" Mora asked as Sam came in and sat down. Now that Jack was no longer in Terra's equivalent to intensive care, there was more room. Sam even had a small cot which she used at night. She still refused to leave him and the doctors had pretty much given up – all of them except Dr. Sergei.

"Fine", she answered. "I've just been telling Jack some stories about one of the nurses. Do you remember Madelenna?"

"Yes. Is she okay?"

"Oh yes – she was in earlier all excited because she just had her first grandchild. Her daughter had a baby boy."

Mora grinned. "So you told Jack all about the baby? I'm sure he found that interesting!"

"Hey, he loves kids", Sam smiled at her. "I'm _sure_ he enjoyed hearing about diaper rash and colic!"

The other woman giggled and told Sam some stories of her own children. After a few minutes she grew serious. "Samantha – maybe it's time you stayed at home and only visited Jack during the day. We're worried about you."

"_We_?" Sam asked, brows raised.

"Yes – I know you think Deneil doesn't like you, but he did say you were looking tired. He's not a bad man you know."

"I know Mora it's just – I have to be here. I know you think I'm crazy and the medical staff _all_ do, but it's – part of who we are. He needs me even if he doesn't look like he does."

"Oh, I know he does. Whenever you're gone he's -"

"What?"

"He's – restless. I don't know if that's quite the right word or not. It's not physical but there's just an – aura – about him that seems as if he's not happy when you're gone. But at the same time, he'd never want you to make yourself sick over him."

"No", Sam gave a sad smile. "He'd kick my butt if he thought that's what I was doing. But it doesn't matter. I'm not going to leave until he tells me to!"

Mora sighed, although she had known what Sam was going to say. At least she could tell her husband, and Dr. Sergei, that she'd tried.

"Okay – but I want you to go now and take a walk and get some fresh air. Jack may not like me as well as you, but he can put up with me for a while!"

Sam agreed, and with a small laugh she got up. "I'm going for just a little while Jack. Mora will look after you. Don't give her a hard time."

After she'd gone Mora looked down at Jack. She reached out and took his hand and smiled when she noticed his eyes on her. "She loves you. You're a lucky man. I think she'd like it if you got well and told her the same thing." She lifted his hand and gave it a gentle kiss. "Now, let me tell you what my kids got up to today!"

Sam walked down the long hallway, saying hello to a number of the nurses as she passed them. Even though they still worried about her, they had warmed to her over the weeks and would now come in and chat occasionally. She was happy to finally be able to talk to people and feel like she was accepted. She was still determined to get to know a few more people – once Jack was well enough to go home.

Speaking of knowing people, she looked up at that moment to see Dr. Sergei walking towards her. She couldn't help the groan that escaped and the next moment hoped that he hadn't caught it.

"Samantha!" he smiled. "It's good to see you. Are you going somewhere?"

She wanted to lie, but then immediately felt guilty. He'd been nothing but helpful and friendly and he _had_ saved her life. She owed him courtesy at least. "Just going for a walk", she told him. "Mora is with Jack."

At the mention of his name the Doctor frowned. Not only did he feel that Samantha was obsessed and harming herself, but he saw the wounded man as his rival. Somehow he had to get rid of him.

"Samantha", he said as he started walking beside her. "I have spoken with the hospital Administrator and the decision has been made to transfer Jack O'Neill to a long term care hospital. There is no more we can do for him here and he will be more comfortable there."

Sam stopped and stared at the doctor. "What? What are you talking about? He's still recuperating from his wounds for god's sake. Why would you transfer him so soon?"

Sergei's lips thinned in anger. "You are questioning me?"

"Yes, I am. There's no reason for this. You're just trying to get him out of here. Why?"

"It is serving no purpose to have him here and it is harming you", he said bluntly.

"No purpose? He's _recuperating_! Isn't that what hospitals are for? And as for me – I love him. How is me watching over him and being with him while he gets better _harming_ me?" she said angrily.

"Because you will not face reality", he told her. "You seem to think he will get better when we have told you his mind is damaged!"

"You also told me he was going to die!" she shouted. "You don't really know do you? You just don't like the fact that I love him and you're trying to get rid of him, isn't that it?"

"No", he answered, although even to his own ears it came out falsely.

"I don't know what you think you're doing", she hissed, "but if you somehow think this gets him out of the way so you have a chance with me then you'd better think again! If you do this, I will never, ever have anything to do with you ever again. What kind of a doctor are you!" With that she turned around, furious, and headed back to the hospital.

"What's wrong?" Mora asked, looking frightened. She stood and rushed to Sam's side.

"They're planning on transferring Jack to a long-term care hospital", she told the other woman. "I don't know what to do!"

"What? You must be wrong. He's not well enough yet."

"I know. I have to go and see Administrator Salea and see if there's anything we can do. I don't know why they're doing this!"

"I know", the other woman answered, looking disgusted. "The good doctor has a crush on you and is trying to get Jack out of the way. What an idiot!"

Sam couldn't help the small laugh that escaped. "I told him if he did this I'd never speak with him again!" she said.

"Ha!" Mora snorted. "I'd rip his balls out!"

"_Mora_!" Sam said, sounding scandalized. With a deep breath she continued. "Now that I think of it, so would I!"

"I'm going to go and speak with Deneil", his wife said a few minutes later. "He can speak with Administrator Rallay as well. Jack has a lot of friends and supporters because of what he's done in the precinct. We'll get this stopped!"

After she had left Sam sank down in the chair next to Jack. She sat quietly, watching the sleeping man. She wished he'd wake up and prove to everyone that he was getting better.

A few minutes later one of the nurses came by to check on him – and her. The nurse offered her sympathies.

"We heard what Dr. Sergei is planning", she whispered. "All the nursing staff think it's terrible!"

Although Sam appreciated the support, and thanked her, she knew the nurses were powerless to do anything. Hospitals in Terra Antiqua were much like they had been on Earth many years ago – and remained so in many places even now. A doctor's word was law and nurses had little or no say.

"Jack", she whispered, laying her head on the mattress beside him. "I wish you'd wake up!"

She must have dozed for a while. It was a soft sound that woke her up and she lay there, trying to figure out what it had been.

"Da-"

She lifted her head at that. "Jack?" He was looking at her, his eyes wide open. "Da-?" he repeated softly.

"Da? I don't know what you're trying to say Jack." She could see his frustration and he tried again, this time licking his lips.

"T", he finally managed to get out.

"Tea? You want – wait! Are you saying 'T' – as in _Teal'c_?" She looked at him hopefully. "And Da – _Daniel_?"

He gave a brief nod and then his eyes moved, as if he was looking for someone.

"You're asking where Daniel and Teal'c are?"

He nodded again and she laughed, although the tears fell at the same time. "They're not here", she answered softly, although with a smile. "Do you remember Sir – we're on Terra – a different planet. They're not here."

He frowned, two thin lines appearing on his forehead. "Ter-"?

"Yes, Terra Antiqua – do you remember?"

He blinked a couple of times, and she could see him trying to concentrate. God – please let the doctors be wrong. Let him remember.

"Terr –a?" he finally got out. "Dan – T – not?"

"That's right – they're not here. But you and I are okay. We're safe here. You were hurt and you're in a hospital but you're going to be okay."

"Jan -?"

"No, she's not here either. It's just us Sir." She paused as she thought about something. "Colonel, do you know me?"

He blinked and then did something which made her want to grab him and hug him. He smiled. "Car –t".

"That's right Sir", she giggled, unable to help herself. "It's Major Carter – Sam!"

He smiled again and moved his hand, as if searching for something. She looked down at it and moved her own closer to his. She was startled to then feel his hand cover hers and give a gentle squeeze. With the smile still on his face he went back to sleep.

It was only after he was resting that she allowed the tears free reign. She laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed out her relief and happiness. The Colonel was back.

"I told you", she ground out. "He was awake and he spoke with me." She glared at Sergei, who wouldn't look her in the eye. The man beside him looked like a security guard, although he was followed by two men with a gurney.

"That's just wishful thinking", Sergei answered. "I told you – this is for his own good!"

"No it isn't!" she said, furious and wishing she had a zat. "You're doing this because you're a bastard and that's the only reason!" Sam heard a laugh from the two nurses standing in the corner, but when she glanced up they were both looking stony faced. The doctor turned and glared at them.

"There's no point in trying to delay this", he told her. "I have an order to take him away from here. We're wasting precious resources looking after someone who will not get better."

"Where are you taking him", she asked. "I'll go with you."

"I'm sorry, but you can't. I'm doing this for your own good Samantha", he told her. "You need to let him go and get on with your life."

She wanted to throw something at him. She wanted to shoot him. She even went so far as to look around the room but knew that realistically there was nothing she could do. At the same time, there was no way in hell they were going to take him away from her.

"Don't do this", she said to him. His look told her that he knew she was not begging – she was threatening him. If he did take Jack away from her she'd make his life hell.

Just then there was a noise and Sam looked up to see Deneil bursting through the door. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked.

"You are not supposed to be here", Sergei said angrily. "Please leave now before I have security remove you!"

"I _am_ security", Deneil answered. "And I am here with a letter from Administrator Salea. Another copy is going to the hospital Administrator. If O'Neill is removed from here, without the permission of Samantha Carter, you will both be removed from your positions in the hospital. As it is, she is launching an investigation against you. I suggest _you_ leave now!"

Sam wanted to shout – and hug Deneil. Instead she looked at Sergei. "And stay out of my way because if you _ever_ try to hurt someone I love – you won't know what hit you!"

The doctor knew when he was beaten, but he wasn't about to leave with his tail between his legs. He opened his mouth to tell this woman what he thought of what she was doing when another voice spoke.

" – suggest – you listen. Carter'll – whup your – ass!"

Everyone in the room turned and looked in astonishment at a pale, gaunt and grinning Jack O'Neill.

"Bye – Doc", he spoke again.

Sergei stared at him for a moment until his face fell with the realization that he'd just about condemned a man to a horrible existence in an institution – all because of jealousy. He opened his mouth to speak, but then looked at the ill man and at the woman he'd fallen so hard for, and stopped himself. There was nothing he could say or do. He turned slowly and walked to the door, only stopping when he got there. "I'm sorry", he whispered, not turning around. He left, followed by the others he'd brought with him.

"Good riddance!" Sam said. She smiled at Deneil. "Thank you!"

He shrugged. "I still don't like you", he said bluntly. "I did it for O'Neill."

She nodded, accepting that. "Thank you anyway." She then turned to an awake and aware O'Neill. "Well Sir – that was pretty spectacular timing!"

He raised his brows at her, looking completely confused – but adorable! She laughed at herself – only a woman in love would think a man as ill-looking as O'Neill was adorable.

"How are you feeling?" She sat beside him and took his hand. "You're looking better."

He grimaced. "Feel – hell!"

"Like hell? Do you need painkillers?"

"No." He shook his head and then glanced at Deneil. He looked puzzled for a moment. "Who?"

"This is your friend – don't you remember? His name is Traman Deneil. He works with you at the precinct."

"Kay", he acknowledged, although Sam knew he still didn't have a clue. She prayed that would come.

The next few days saw Jack getting slowly better. His nurses all walked around as if they'd been personally responsible for helping to bring him back. They were minor celebrities in the hospital. Dr. Sergei took a few weeks off and they later learned he'd transferred to a different hospital. Sam felt badly – he'd been so good when they'd first been found and she knew he was a good doctor. She hated to think that it had been because of her that he'd been so foolish.

The good news was that the Colonel was slowly starting to remember things. He still had gaps in his memory, although he finally remembered that they were on Terra – and didn't know how to get back to Earth.

That fact had bothered him quite a bit and she'd had to try and calm him down. She knew that being sick and weak made it harder for people to deal with emotions, but she was surprised, and a little uncomfortable to see the Colonel so – open. She wondered if he'd been as calm about being stranded as she'd thought all those months. Maybe he had just hid it better than she had.

If that was the case – she felt especially guilty. She thought of all the times he'd been stranded or captured in his life and suddenly wondered if he'd built up defense mechanisms to keep himself from being disappointed. Of course he wanted to go home. She was such an idiot.

"Wh'ts – wrong?" he asked, when he noticed her distress.

"Nothing", she smiled.

He shook his head. "Li - ar", he told her. "Wrong?"

"You miss home, don't you?" she asked softly, not answering his question.

He frowned and his eyes closed as if he didn't want to say anything. Eventually though, he opened them again. "You?"

She shook her head. "I asked you first Colonel!"

"Yeah", he said, sounding terribly sad. "Miss – Dan – T", he swallowed. "Ev –en Jan -"

"She'll be glad to know that Sir", she told him, her lips turning up but her eyes tearing up. "I'm sure she misses you too."

"Nah – too – much troub –"

She laughed at that. "We - ll", she said, as if in agreement. "There is something in that Sir!"

He rolled his eyes but then he smiled. The old Jack was coming back.

"She hasn't left your side except for brief moments for the entire month since you were hurt", Mora told him. She was 'babysitting' him, much to his disgust, while Carter went back to her apartment to get some clean clothes. He was only now finding out about what had happened to him since he'd been attacked.

"Where- does she sleep?" he asked, frowning.

"Here – at the beginning she just had a chair because you were in critical care. When they moved you here they brought in a cot. I told you, she hasn't left your side! She really cares for you Jack."

Rather than looking happy at that he looked upset and Mora wondered if she'd made a big mistake in telling the man in front of her. She knew that Sam was desperately in love with him and she was positive he loved her. They were a couple of fools, she decided. She sighed. "What's wrong?"

"She – shouldn't be here", he managed to say, clearly. "She needs – a life."

"Stop it", she scolded. "You were hurt and she wanted to be here. Just accept it and don't make her feel bad. It's just as important to accept help graciously as to give it you know."

"Yes – Mom", he glared at her.

She laughed at that and stood up. "I've got to get home and make Deneil some dinner. Sam will be back shortly and remember what I said! Be nice to her."

"M'always nice!"

"No you're not", she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "You're grumpy! Now be good. Deneil will be over tomorrow."

He gave her a small wave and settled back on the bed. They'd finally allowed him to have the bed lifted so he could semi-sit but he still wasn't allowed out of bed and he was starting to go stir-crazy. Sam had even spoken to the doctors about it but they were being hyper-careful. He was pretty sure he was going to kill someone if he didn't get out of this room, and soon.

Although there were still some gaps in his memory – mostly from shortly before the attack – most things had come back to him. One of the things that had depressed him was when he remembered that he and Carter hadn't been speaking. She hadn't mentioned anything about it and he didn't know whether to bring it up, but it bothered him. They certainly hadn't resolved the issue that had driven them apart.

"Hey", he said softly as the door opened and she walked in. "How's the apartment?"

She smiled and put down a big bag of groceries. "Just fine, although a bit dusty. I was speaking with some of the neighbors and they said to say hi. They've been watching the place for us."

"Us?" he asked quietly. "Isn't it your place?"

She slowly walked up to the bed, regarding him carefully. She hadn't been sure whether or not he remembered that he'd moved out. She had been hoping it was one of the things he'd forgotten. Clearly he hadn't and she knew it was time they dealt with it.

"I'm hoping it will be ours again", she told him. "I hated being by myself."

"Did you?" he asked, his face showing no expression.

"Yes. I – missed our conversations. You – you're a good roommate", she smiled gently.

"I thought – you were – mad at me?"

"I was and I was also stupid. Look Sir, I'm sorry for what I said and how I acted. I don't know what was wrong with me but I acted inappropriately."

"I really do want to go home Sam", he told her again. "If I didn't seem like I did it was just because – I – I _couldn't_." He knew his words didn't really make sense but he hoped she understood what he was trying to say.

She nodded and reached out and touched his arm. "I understand that now Colonel – and I should have figured it out then. I think – I was too frightened."

Something about her words reminded him of something, but he couldn't remember what it was. "Look we both – said and did things we regretted", he told her. "Let's forget it."

"Are you sure Sir?"

"I am – as long as you do the cooking for the first month!" he said with a smirk.

"Blackmail Colonel?"

"Hey – why not? And anyway, you're a better cook than me!"

"Okay fine", she rolled her eyes. "I'll cook – but you get to take out the garbage!"

"Fine – you do the laundry!"

"And you can do the shopping!" Sam answered back.

"Cleaning!" Jack told her, his eyes narrowed.

"Dishes." She answered with a grin.

"Back rubs!"

She opened her mouth and then seemed to realize what he'd just said. He lay there amused as he watched the color seep up under her collar and then into her face. He really wondered what she was going to come back with.

"You want me to give you _back rubs_?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah", he nodded. "What's wrong with that?"

"But – you're my commanding officer."

"So – CO's need love and attention too you know."

She choked on that one and he couldn't' help but grin, until he began to wonder if her choking had been a sign she wasn't interested in giving him love and attention. Crap – now he was starting to get all negative again.

"Fine – how many?"

His forehead contracted. "How many what?"

"Back rubs", she rolled her eyes. "How many do you want?"

"As many as I can get?"

It was at the end of the fifth week that they got the news. Jack could go home! He'd been out of bed twice already and, although it was tiring, he _had_ been able to make it all the way to the chair, where he collapsed. He was surprised that they were letting him go like this, but he wasn't about to look a gift in the mouth.

"Carter, - what's wrong", he asked, later that day.

"I'm just thinking about the apartment. It's not the best place for someone recuperating from a deadly attack."

"Hey – that's an _almost_ deadly attack, if you please. I'm not gone yet, you know."

"Sorry. But it _isn't _ very big and it's hard to get up and down. You're going to feel claustrophobic and I was thinking that maybe it would be better for you to go back to Deneil's."

He didn't know what to think. Was she thinking of him or did she really not want him to stay with her? But she'd told him she missed him. Sometimes he really didn't know what to think. Maybe she had a boyfriend and didn't want him hanging around. His face grew cloudy as he thought about that. She hadn't ever told him what she was doing those nights when she'd been out by herself.

Sam watched the expressions play over the Colonel's face and wondered what he was thinking. She could have bitten her tongue off for suggesting that he got to Deneils. What _had_ she been trying to do? She wanted him home with her again – more than anything in the world. Just as he went to open his mouth, presumably to answer, she decided that she'd had enough. This was getting ridiculous.

"On the other hand", she informed him. "You won't need much room and you can take the elevator if you want to get out of the apartment. And Mora shouldn't be looking after you all the time, not when she has young children. And of course, there are those back rubs!"

It took him a few seconds to realize what she was saying, but when he did his face cleared and he leaned back against the pillow. All of these emotions were exhausting.

"And meals", he reminded her with a broad smile.

"_And_ meals! I'm glad you're coming back home", she said to him.

"Me too Sam – me too.


	13. Hot Soup

**Recipe for hot soup:**

** Vegetables (some alien) chopped with determination**

** Add broth – with a dose of angst**

** Add spices to taste – the spicier the better**

** Stir with passion**

** Serve with a dollop of fluff**

The move back to the apartment was an ordeal for Jack. He had known he was still weak, but hadn't realized _how_ weak he really was. He could barely walk and was actually grateful for the weird looking wheelchair. He couldn't help but grimace to think how Daniel and Teal'c would have reacted to seeing him actually wanting to ride in it.

Deneil and Sam helped him at the other end. By the time he got to the bedroom, he was ready to pass out. He was sick and dizzy and had black spots floating in his vision. He wondered again why he'd been let go so early from the hospital. If Janet had been in charge he would have still been there, whining and complaining, but getting better.

He felt a pang when he thought of her. He wished she were here, watching out for him and making sure he was getting better. He closed his eyes, and swallowed. The water that fell on his cheeks _wasn't _from tears – he tried hard to convince himself of that fact.

He felt a hand gently stroke his hair and was both grateful and embarrassed that Sam was here to witness his weakness. He hated it and yet was grateful. He fell asleep on that thought.

"They shouldn't have let him go", Deneil whispered angrily. "He's not ready!"

"I know", Sam agreed. "I don't understand it either, but don't worry, I'll look after him and make sure he's okay."

He nodded. "I know you will. If there's anything we can do, let us know. Mora said she'll be by later."

For some reason, Deneil's words made her want to cry. She looked at him and smiled gently. "Thank you – you don't know how much you've helped."

One side of his mouth turned up and he answered her ruefully. "Mora always said I was a stubborn ass – and she's right. We're here for you."

Sam nodded and then stood up and gave him a hug. After a brief hesitation he hugged her back. "Just don't tell O'Neill", he whispered. "He'll kill me!"

Sam leaned back. "For hugging me?"

"No – for being such a jerk to you!"

"Oh – don't worry about that. I deserved it, but I promise I won't do anything so stupid again."

"Good. Mora says you two need to talk to each other. It works you know!"

After Deneil had left Sam made herself a hot drink and then went in and sat by the bed. She'd gotten used to sitting with him over the past weeks and knew it would be a long time before she felt she could leave him for more than a few minutes at a time.

As she sat there, looking at him and trying not to think about anything, her eyes grew heavy. She suddenly realized how exhausted she truly was. After her head nodded forward a few times she knew she couldn't stay awake any longer. She groaned as she tried to get comfortable in the chair. There was no way she was leaving – but she had to sleep.

"Get in bed", Jack's sleepy voice told her. "There's room."

"What?" She leaned forward. "You should be sleeping!"

"So should you", he grinned slightly. "Come on." He carefully wiggled over, leaving her some space. "I won't be able to sleep knowing you're getting a stiff neck and back in that chair. Come on Carter – get in bed with me!"

She sighed and took off her shoes and climbed up – carefully – beside him. "You know you could get into trouble for asking me to go to bed with you don't you", she told him calmly.

He grinned – wider this time. "Yeah, but only if you tell."

"And you think I won't?" she asked, putting her head down on the pillow and lazily watching him.

"Nah" there was a pause. "You won't, will you?"

She yawned and closed her eyes. "Not if you give me a back rub", she told him.

He laughed and closed his own eyes. "It's a deal." Soon they were both asleep.

Jack did nothing over the next few days. His only time out of bed was to go to the bathroom. "I'll be damned if I have you empty a bed pan for me Carter!" he growled.

She sighed and allowed him to make the short trip, knowing it was probably good for him anyway. She was still worried at how long it was taking him to recuperate and wished, every day, for Janet.

Jack too was worried. He hadn't snapped back as quickly as usual and didn't seem to be getting better very fast. The doctors had warned him that there had been extensive internal damage and that he might never be back to normal. He hadn't believed them. Now, however, he was wondering - and it was both frightening him and making him depressed.

Nothing more had been said about returning to Earth. Jack wanted to bring it up, but anytime he even attempted to discuss it Sam would change the subject. It got so bad she practically stuck her fingers in her ears and began to hum when he'd refer to anything not related to Terra. He couldn't figure out what was going on. Before the attack she'd accused him of not wanting to go home. Now, he couldn't even get her to acknowledge they _had_ one.

He was sitting on the couch today – a graduation of sorts from the bedroom. He had his feet up and a blanket over his legs and felt like an old man. That, of course, made him grumpy as hell. For the first time since his accident, or at least since he could remember, Sam had left him alone. As much as he – cared – for her, he had to admit it was nice to have a few minutes on his own. She'd gone to the store to buy some groceries and it gave him a chance to think about the future.

It was a short time later that he received a visit from Administrator Rallay who assured him that he had his job ready and waiting for him when he was better.

"I don't know how long that will be Sir", he'd said.

The other man waved his hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter. You take as long as you need to get well. We need you O'Neill. The men miss you and certainly the merchants want you back. In the meantime I've arranged for a salary for you."

"You don't need -"

"It's standard", Rallay told him. "It was a job related injury so you'll receive 75% of your salary until you return."

"Thank you Sir", Jack told him, grateful and relieved. He knew their refugee benefits would run out soon and he'd worried about how they'd afford to live.

"You should consider getting a bigger place", Rallay looked around. "You need more room."

"For now it's okay. It's less work for Sam and she has enough to do looking after me."

"She's a beautiful woman", the older man commented. "When are you going to make it legal?"

"Legal?" Jack frowned. Had they done something _il_legal?

"Marry her! Don't tarry my boy or you'll lose her. Quite a few of the men at the precinct were taken with her." He got up then. "Don't be ridiculous Jack, don't get up! It's good to see you looking better. I didn't think you were going to make it!"

"I think that was the general consensus Sir", Jack grinned. "But that's because people don't know me. Sam'll tell you I'm a tough old bastard!"

Rallay laughed. "But not invincible, so look after yourself." He grew suddenly serious. "We still haven't caught him Jack, so be careful. Tell that woman of yours as well."

Jack thanked him and then laid back down after he'd left even though he was now feeling alarmed. He hadn't thought about Chumore, the guy who had stabbed him. It would be just like him to go after Sam. On top of that, he hadn't thought – recently – about other men being interested in her. He knew he was safe from Sergei after the doctor's idiocy, but what about other men? God – what if she met someone. Hell, maybe she already had. He thought about her walks from before. Had there been a boyfriend?

He practically fretted himself to death before she returned. He was so uptight he was ready to jump up and shout at her as soon as she walked into the door. Just as he opened his mouth – to take a big bite of foot, he remembered what had happened the last time they fought. He closed his mouth with a snap and wished he had a lock to keep it that way.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked with a frown. Jack looked upset. "Are you okay?"

He nodded – but immediately changed it to a head shake. "Rallay was here", he told her.

"Really?' She set the bag of groceries down and hurried to sit on the chair beside the couch. "What happened?"

"Nothing. It was – he told me they haven't found Chumore and I was worried about you." There – that was the truth and said in a non-confrontational way. He was proud of himself – especially when Sam's hand came out and took his.

"I'll be careful", she assured him. "Don't worry – we'll get him."

"I don't think I'm in any shape to do that", he grimaced. "In fact – I don't know if I'll ever -" He stopped, unable to continue. It was the first time he'd acknowledged to himself – or to her – that he didn't know if he was going to get better.

"Don't be ridiculous", she scoffed, taking her hand back. "You were seriously injured and it's going to take a while to recuperate but you _will_ – I have absolutely no doubt. Just don't push yourself and I'll make sure you eat healthy and soon you'll be giving the guys at the precinct a run for their money!"

He looked at her carefully to see if she really meant it or if it was said to pacify him. What he saw comforted him and he relaxed. "You really think so?"

"Of course I do. Look Colonel – they told me there was no way you were going to make it. For a full week they walked around like you'd already died and I was crazy for believing you were going to get better. _Then_ they told me you had irreversible brain damage and to have you put away. Both times I knew they were wrong and I know it this time. Your body needs time Sir – that's all."

He swallowed, feeling too emotional to speak. But then he thought of something else – the boyfriend.

"Sam?" he asked softly, picking at the blanket and not looking at her.

"What?" She was curious – she didn't remember ever seeing him look so – hesitant before. "What is it?"

"Just – you haven't told me -"

"What Sir?"

"Before – when I was still here – where did you go? I mean, in the evenings? Are you – I don't want to be nosey but – are you -?"

"Am I what?" she frowned and watched him pull more threads out of the poor blanket. She finally reached forward and took it out of his hands. Instead she grabbed them and held on. "Am I what?" she asked again.

"Are you seeing someone?" he asked in a rush.

She was confused. What was he talking about? _Seeing_ someone? When would she possibly have had time to see anyone? "Sir? Do you mean a man - _here?_"

"Here?" Now he was confused. Where else would he mean? "Of course."

"Colonel – how in he – how could I be seeing anyone. I've been by your side for weeks!"

"I know – I mean – and I'm _really_ appreciative. You don't know how much that – but – what about _before_?"

"Before? Before Terra or before the hospital?"

"The hospital. Did you – were you going out to see someone?"

She stared at him, trying to figure out what this was all about. Did he suspect her of something? Did Rallay say something that made him suspicious? "Why?" she finally asked.

Jack wanted to shoot himself. What had he been thinking to even start this conversation? She'd think he was nuts – and maybe he was. He sighed. "I thought maybe you were seeing someone and I wondered if my accident screwed things up for you."

She shook her head, suddenly wanting to grin. "No Sir", she told him bluntly. "I was just going for walks. I haven't dated anyone in – well, long before we left Earth."

"Really?" He looked at her hopefully and then his eyes looked down. "I – not that it's any of my business."

She shook her head thinking it was a bit late for him to worry about that. She stood up. "I'm going to make some dinner now. Just – take it easy."

"As if I do anything else", he muttered, after she was gone. So okay, had he just made a royal fool of himself or not? He figured he probably had, but then again, Carter could be pretty clueless at times too. She'd probably just forget about this whole conversation. He wished he could.

What the hell was _that_ about, she wondered as she furiously started chopping vegetables? Why would he think she had a boyfriend? Didn't he _know_ how she felt about him? She was pretty damned sure she had made it totally obvious to him and to everyone else. Hell, she'd practically _attached_ herself to him.

But then again, he was a man and he _was_ the Colonel, she realized, as she threw the veggies in the pot. He could be notoriously clueless about things like this. She snorted – as if she couldn't be as well. She added the broth with a frown. They really were a pair.

She thought about him – and about the two of them together. She thought about his teasing and his concern – and his wanting back rubs. _Was_ he in love with her or did he just hold her in affection? She added spice to the pot. She was pretty sure his feelings were far from platonic.

She gave the soup – or its Terran equivalent – a vigorous stir. He _had_ to know – didn't he? She took a spoonful of the broth and tasted it. Not quite right. She added some more spice. Spice was important.

"What are we having?" Jack called a minute later.

She looked down at the soup – bubbling merrily in the pot – and grinned. She now knew what to do. "It's a surprise Sir", she told him. "A big surprise", she whispered to herself.

Sam brought in the tray for Jack to put on his lap – he still wasn't up to sitting at the table for any length of time – and served him the hot soup. He glanced at it and his eyebrows raised. It didn't seem like that big of a surprise. They both started to eat, silently.

It was okay thought Jack – a bit hot and spicy – but nothing that special.

"Sir – you know I'm in love with you, right?"

The hot soup hurt when it splurted out of his nose. A number of small pieces of vegetable came along with the broth and landed on his shirt and lap. It took him a few seconds before he could breathe again, as a measure of the soup that hadn't been projected through his nose and across the room had gone down into his wind pipe.

"Are you okay Colonel?" she rushed up and started to pat his back, even though she knew it was the wrong thing to do.

"I'm – okay", he finally managed to get out, pushing her hand away. Once his breathing was – almost – back to normal he looked at her. "_What_ did you just say?"

"That I love you. Or I guess more accurately, I wanted to know if you knew I loved you."

He continued to stare, not sure what to say or do. He licked his lips and opened his mouth and took a deep breath – and nothing happened. His mouth closed, he stopped breathing and – still nothing.

Sam wanted to laugh at the look of shock on Jack's face. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying this, although she knew it had the potential for tragedy if he told her he didn't love her. "Sir?" she finally asked. She wanted him to say _something_.

"Carter", he choked out. "Don't you find it a bit – odd – that you just told me you loved me and you're still calling me Sir?"

She tilted her head and regarded him seriously. "Good point – Jack. Is that better?"

"Much better Carter", he told her.

"Carter? Does that mean you don't?"

"I don't -?"

"Love me."

"Oh." Talk about putting pressure on a guy, he thought. Talk about a guy being forced to speak when he _hated _talking about feelings. "Of course I love you – Sam. I have for a long time."

"Good", she nodded her head and took another bite of soup. "You should eat before it grows cold."

He looked at the soup suspiciously. "It's better cold", he told it – and her.

"Really?"

"Doesn't hurt so much coming out of my nose that way."

She giggled – one of his favorite sounds in the whole world. He couldn't help himself – he grinned, and then took a bite of the still hot soup. He just realized that he was wrong - it was his favorite dish in the whole world.


	14. Tomorrow is Another Day

_**I honestly can't tell you how humbled and blown away I am by all your amazing reviews. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am honest when I say that it keeps me posting every night. Even when tired I want to post a chapter to not let my faithful reviewers down. Thanks everyone for your lovely, amazing comments!**_

_**greenofireland - this one is for you! A bit of an update on what's happening on Earth.  
**_

Okay, so he didn't know what to say. Not that that was unusual for him, but he usually covered those moments by spouting something witty or sarcastic. He was pretty sure neither of those would do right now. On top of that, he was _tired_. Not just physical, bone-weary tiredness, but _soul_ chilling tiredness. Too much had happened over the last few months, culminating in THE THING WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED – being, well, _named _that he was at a complete loss.

Sam was clearing the dishes out of the room and cleaning up in the kitchen. She seemed totally normal and happy and like they hadn't just confessed Earth's biggest secret to each other. He gave a small laugh – if you were to ask the President or congress or the generals at the Pentagon what the most top secret thing in the world was, they'd all say the Stargate. If you asked Daniel or Teal'c or Janet – or just about anyone at the SGC they'd tell you it was the fact that Jack O'Neill had a thing for his 2IC, Major Samantha Carter. Everyone knew it, but he'd never have admitted it, not in a million years – except for the fact that they were on a planet far, far away – and hell, he was injured and weak and – and he _loved her_!

"Time for you to get to bed", Sam said gently, standing over him and looking down in concern. "Do you need help getting up?'

"I'm not a baby Carter", he snapped, suddenly feeling put out. He managed to get his feet over the side of the couch and tried to leverage himself up. After the third try he looked up at her, a scowl written deeply into his face. "Well, don't just stand there!"

She grinned and helped him up and then pointed him in the direction of the bathroom. "Let me know if you need help in there", she called after him, her voice conveying the laugh that was bubbling under the surface.

He didn't turn around but waved an arm at her in dismissal. Once in the John he closed the door and leaned up against it, the short trip almost doing him in.

As he brushed his teeth he looked at himself in the mirror – the first time he'd really seen himself after the attack. "God – you look old O'Neill", he said softly. He was so gaunt and pale – with huge dark circles under his eyes and a new scar on his jaw. He looked as if he'd aged twenty years. Of course that instantly depressed him and made him doubt that Sam could _possibly_ want anything to do with him.

Finally finished he made his way out into the other room. Carter was waiting for him and took his arm without asking. He would have made a snarky comment, but he was too exhausted to even make the attempt.

She helped him take off his slippers and lie down, covering him gently with the covers. "Sleep", was all she said and then she was gone.

Okay – what the hell had just happened? He lay there thinking about the past hour and was thoroughly confused. She had confessed she loved him – he'd done the same to her. Then – nothing. Did she _want_ anything more than the admission? Did she want him to – to what O'Neill? He looked down at himself and felt a sudden feeling of relief that he _was_ injured. It took any pressure off of him to do anything. Hell, he didn't even have the energy to _kiss_ her right now – let alone anything else. He refused to let himself even think about the 'anything else'.

He sighed and closed his eyes, desperately wanting to fall asleep, even though so many things were churning in his mind. What did she want? What did _he_ want? Would they ever get ho –

The door opened on that thought and he looked in surprise over to where Sam was standing, dressed in her pajamas – her completely functional, non-sexy pajamas. She didn't say anything at all – she simply turned out the light, walked over to his bed, pulled back the covers and got in.

He instantly moved over to give her more room, too shocked to object or to ask what she was doing. He watched in bemusement as she fluffed her pillow, rearranged the blankets, and laid down beside him.

"Stop thinking so much", she told him softly.

He stared at her for just a moment and then his lips began to twitch. "Isn't that my line?" he asked.

She smiled at him and moved a bit closer. "Everything will be fine. Just relax and rest."

His smile grew and he gave a small nod. He then scooted as close to her as he could and carefully put his arm around her. She snuggled into him and did the same.

"Night Jack", she whispered.

"Night Sam", he whispered back. He was asleep in an instant.

The next morning he woke up feeling more rested than he had since he'd regained his awareness in the hospital. He stretched carefully – still sore – and only then noticed that Sam was gone. He could still see evidence of her presence in the bed and he could still _smell_ her on the sheets beside him. On top of that, he'd been aware, even in his sleep that she was with him.

He smiled and pushed himself up. Damn! He was still so weak. He had to start getting himself in shape. He made his way out into the other room, instantly noticing that something smelled wonderful. He spied Sam standing at the stove, in her pajamas still, dancing to a song she was singing herself. In her hand was a spatula and she was looking down at the stove.

"Something smells great", he said, making his way to the table.

She swung around and instantly a grin appeared. "Pancakes", she told him.

"_Pancakes_? Really? Are these Earth pancakes or Terra pancakes?"

She frowned, looking like she was considering the question seriously. He wanted to laugh – only Carter! "Well, it's an Earth recipe but Terran ingredients so I suppose they're _Tearthan_ pancakes!" She grinned in victory.

"Tearthan? Okay Carter – you are officially losing it. And anyway, doesn't Terra _mean_ Earth?"

"Yes", she turned around and flipped another pancake. "So technically they're Earth Earth pancakes."

"Or Terra Terra Terra ones."

She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"What about maple syrup?" he asked.

She sighed, looking at him in disappointment. "Sorry – no maple trees. I made fruit syrup."

Jack waited anxiously for the first pancake. When a stack came he poured the fruit sauce over it and dug in. He had died and gone to heaven! It was only when he was on the second stack that he realized he'd actually been hungry. He hadn't felt that way in weeks.

"Oh God", he leaned back and clutched his stomach. "I ate too much!"

"Good", she told him, leaning forward with her elbows resting on the table and her chin resting on her hands. "I'm going to fatten you up."

"Fatten me up? What, like a calf? You plan to eat me Carter?" The words had barely left his mouth when he realized. He closed his eyes and wanted to slam his head against the table. He heard her giggle and finally opened them. "Sorry!" he said.

"That's quite all right Sir", she waggled her eyebrows and stood up and cleared off the table, thinking that Jack would make for a great dessert.

Jack watched her work, noticing again how – happy – she seemed. Rather than being pleased it worried him. He still didn't know what she wanted and the fact was, if they made it back to Earth they'd be in the same situation as before. They had to decide whether to go for a relationship, knowing that the consequences could be severe, or go back to the way it had been before.

He frowned, an unexpected thought popping into his brain. She must think they are never going to make it home! _That's_ why she'd confessed her feelings. She'd accepted that they were going to be stuck here and figured they had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Damn it all – he should have told her – should have let her in on the fact that he had a serious lead. _Now_ what to do? Should he tell her and see an abrupt end to the possibility of a relationship, or should he leave it until he had more evidence? Would she be angry when she found out? But there was a good chance it wouldn't lead to anything and they _would _be stuck here.

He realized, right at that moment, that for the first time since arriving on Terra, the thought of being stuck here didn't terrify him. It wasn't that he _wanted _to stay – but being able to be with Sam would make it, not only bearable, but he could find happiness_._

He had to say something. It wasn't right to let this go. He knew they had to deal openly and honestly with one another although he dreaded watching her turn away from him and close that door back in his face. He could feel his heart start to hurt, and he knew it wasn't from the stab wound, but from the thought of losing what he'd had for just a brief moment. Still – it had to be done.

"Sam", he called her softly. She put up the dish towel and sat across from him.

"What is it?" she answered with a caring smile.

"We have to talk."

She smiled slightly. "Isn't that _my_ line?"

He smiled in reply. "Yeah, I know it's pretty terrifying when I want to talk", he acknowledged. "But – I think we need to."

She reached out and covered his hand with hers. "Yes we do", she answered, "But not right now. Look Sir", she shook her head and grimaced, "_Jack_! You almost died and if you had I wouldn't have wanted to live either. The last six weeks have been – well, pure hell – and we both need some time to rest and recuperate. I know the real world is out there and I _do_ know we have to talk – but right now, I want to be with you and for us to love each other. Can we not do that – just for a little while?"

"And then?" he asked.

"And then we talk. Neither of us knows what's going to happen or where this will lead." Her lips quirked. "You could discover that I drive you crazy -"

"_You_ drive _me _crazy? Carter – we both know it'll be the other way around!"

She laughed and squeezed his hand. "All I'm saying is we both need some time without worrying about the future, or about getting home or about homicidal maniacs intent on killing you – or about whether or not it's wrong for us to be together. I only want to love you now – nothing more, nothing less."

"But what if we do get home", he asked, "and we've – done this thing."

She shrugged. "We don't have to tell them", she answered easily, although they both knew it was more complicated than that.

He nodded, although what she was saying frightened him, not because it was wrong, but because he wanted it so badly. That, and the fact that – there was a slight problem, hopefully only a temporary one. "Uh", he bit his lip. "Sam I'm – I don't – I can't – at least not yet."

She looked at him blankly for all of thirty seconds and then her face broke into a smile and her eyes twinkled. No one said Samantha Carter wasn't a genius. "Sir – when I meant _love_ I meant – how we felt for each other not – the other."

"Oh. Good cause – well, that's good", he mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

"Although, when you're feeling _better_ Sir ….." she said with a quirk to her brow and a laugh in her voice.

"Okay", he narrowed his eyes and glared. "If you're talking what I think you're talking about then you'd better stop calling me 'Sir' cause that's just – creepy!"

She laughed. "Okay _Jack_! So, how about a game of cards?"

He looked at her as if she was crazy, but then a grin slowly appeared on his face. Maybe she was right. Why not take some time and recuperate and just enjoy each other. They couldn't get home now anyway, not until he was better. He sat back and tried to relax and let himself simply revel in the fact that he loved Sam and she loved him.

"What about that back rub instead?" he asked. Earth could damn well wait a few more weeks.

* * *

"Gentleman, I wanted to let you know that I just received a message from Supreme Commander Thor. He is on his way and will arrive in Earth's orbit in approximately two hours." General Hammond looked at Daniel and Teal'c and, for once, was pleased to be delivering good news. "I'll let you know when he arrives."

It had been months since Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter had disappeared and he'd done everything he could, and used every resource at his disposal to find his missing officers, with no luck. The first thing he'd done was to inform the Tokra – more specifically Jacob – who had immediately gone to the planet they'd been on to try and discover their whereabouts.

He'd returned with the news that the Goa'uld– a minor System Lord by the name of Khepri, had decided to set up shop on the planet they'd labelled P9R 44Y. It was just Sg1's luck that they'd landed just as Khepri and his force had arrived.

Jacob had managed to infiltrate the Goa'uld's camp but had seen nothing of either Jack or Sam. He'd been there almost a week before he'd been able to glean information about the search for two humans and their daring escape in a Death Glider.

"Except they escaped in Fa'rtums Glider", one of the Jaffa laughed. "They won't have gone far!"

The others laughed and Jacob found it easy to ask what they thought was so funny.

"His Glider was in disrepair", the First Prime said, glaring at his men. "Many of its crystals had been destroyed in a fight with the Tokra", he spit. "And the cooling system and light drive systems were broken."

"Did they go to light drive", Jacob asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Yes." Here the First Prime laughed as well. "I would have liked to have seen the humans' faces when their ship stopped in an unknown part of space. They will have drifted until their oxygen ran out and now I am sure they lie frozen in space."

Jacob nodded and continued to sit by the fire, knowing he had to appear unconcerned. Inside he was raging and Selmak was trying to comfort him.

Jacob wanted to stand up and start shooting the Jaffa dead, but he knew he couldn't – not yet. There was a chance, a very small chance, that Jack and Sam could have found a habitable planet. Even if they hadn't and _were_ lying dead in the cold of space, he needed to return and let George and their friends know their fate. After that – he would be volunteering for more dangerous missions.

Jacob had returned and told Hammond and the others what he'd found out. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the people who had stolen the ship were O'Neill and Carter. It was just the sort of thing they would do.

"Why the hell did they steal a ship", Daniel wanted to know. "Why didn't they just wait for us to come and rescue them?"

"They were being hunted Daniel Jackson, and they had little in the way of supplies. They would have been captured and made hosts – or slaves."

Jacob sighed but nodded. "Teal'c is right. It was probably the only thing they could do to stay alive. It's just bad luck they got a ship that was in the repair shop!"

"Sam could have fixed it", Daniel threw out.

"In the middle of space?" Jacob looked at him, knowing he was trying to be encouraging and knowing the only thing that would make him believe his daughter was alive was to see her walk through that door.

There was no more information, from anyone, about the two missing members of the SGC. That meant their only possible hope was the Asgard. They'd tried contacting their alien friends many times but it was only now that they were getting a response.

Daniel and Teal'c made their way to the cafeteria to grab a coffee as they waited for Thor to arrive. When they walked in they were hailed by a feminine voice they knew well.

"Doc", Daniel nodded and moved toward her, coffee cup in hand. "May I?" he indicated the empty chair.

"Dr. Frasier", Teal'c bowed his head and too asked for permission to sit. "How are you faring today?"

"I'm fine guys", she looked between them, noticing something different, although she couldn't put her finger on what it was. "What's up?"

"The Asgard", Daniel told her.

"The Asgard?" She looked between the two men. "I agree they're _up_", she pointed to the ceiling. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Thor's coming", Daniel informed her, "in less than an hour."

"Really?" She looked between them again, her face and voice both showing her excitement. "If anyone can find them it's him!"

"Or the Nox", Daniel qualified.

"Okay – so the Nox – but I'm talking about aliens who _like_ us and want to spend time with us."

"Yeah – I'm glad it's Thor", he sighed.

"What's wrong Daniel?" Janet asked in concern. "You haven't heard anything, have you?"

"What?" he glanced at her in surprise. "Oh – no. I'm just worried that he won't be able to find them and we'll never know what happened."

"Like Amelia Earhart", Teal'c threw in.

Daniel looked at him in surprise. "How do you know about her?"

Teal'c looked over at him, his look proclaiming that it was a foolish question. "Books."

"Oh – yeah. Well, it's exactly like Amelia Earhart except they've disappeared _somewhere in the galaxy_, not just over the ocean. That's –"

"Impossible", Teal'c answered solemnly. "I understand, but we must not give up. O'Neill would not."

"I know – and I didn't say we should give up – just that it may take us longer than we first thought."

"Teal'c's right", Janet said finally. "Colonel O'Neill would never give up – and I'm sure that's true whatever happened to him and Sam. They're out there somewhere. We just have to find them!"

Thor arrived shortly after that and listened patiently while they explained everything they knew about the disappearance of the two officers. He asked a few pertinent questions but finally did nothing more than nod. "And the Tokra are sure that they are not on the planet with Khepri?"

"No – I mean yes they're sure. We think Jack and Sam were the ones to escape in the Death Glider."

Thor blinked. "I believe you are correct. That is the sort of thing that O'Neill would do. I will go to the planet and find out what has occurred and ensure they are not being held. After that I will begin to look for them."

"But _where_ will you look?" Daniel asked. "They could be anywhere."

"That is true, although I am more likely to believe they are _somewhere_." He winked out after that and they didn't hear anything for many days.

When he returned it was only to tell them that he was sure neither Major Carter nor Colonel O'Neill were on the planet.

"Khepri was very angry", Thor told them. "He was upset when he found out that the prisoners he'd lost were none other than two members of Sg1. His future would have been secure if he'd captured the System Lord's number 1 enemy."

"Is he still looking for them?"

"No – he says there is no use because they are lost somewhere in the galaxy – too big a place to go hunting."

"Too big for you Thor?" Hammond asked what they were all thinking.

"I will continue to look for Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter", he informed them. "I shall contact you if I find anything."

Daniel and Teal'c, Janet and Hammond, and all the other men and women in the SGC continued to hope that Thor would find them, although as each day went by it became harder and harder to believe it would happen.

* * *

That evening, as Sam got in bed and curled up beside an already sleeping Jack, she thought about the events of the day and about her decision to not let the future bother her. It was a radical change for _Ms Worry about everything_ - but she knew it had been the right decision. The – you know what – might still hit the fan, but for now things were good in her world. Let tomorrow take care of itself!

Jack murmured in his sleep and moved closer to her. She put her arms around him and drew him to her. Yes, tomorrow was another day and she planned to live for now. She closed her eyes and soon followed Jack into dreamland.


	15. Letting Things Go

_**So - re the last chapter - Thank you again for the wonderful reviews! Kudos to those of you who found the movie references (there were four of them - did you get them all? Let me know if you caught them.)**_

_**Kahuna - LOL - yes, I definitely was writing this late! What can I say - I was having a childlike moment!**_

_**Now - this chapter. I apologize in advance for the following chapter. I was in a very silly, immature mood. I am going to try and post another one this evening which will be a tad more serious. Don't hate me for this one!**_

"Still nothing Sir?" Daniel was standing in General Hammond's office, looking at the tired looking man who had become like a father to all of them.

Hammond let out a deep breath, and would have stuck his fingers in his hair – if he had any. "No. Thor said he'll continue to look, as long as the High Council lets him. There are just - a lot of planets out there."

"Possibly as many as 400 billion", Daniel told him although it really didn't matter. There was no way even Thor could check out even a fraction of that. They all knew that they were chasing an impossibility.

"Well, he says he's cut it down quite a bit", Hammond said, trying to sound encouraging. "He projected the most direct routes between P9R 44Y and Earth and eliminated all other possible planets."

"And that's left - ?"

"Around 50 to 60 billion", the General said with a sigh.

"I – see." Daniel stared at Hammond's desk for a moment and then lifted his eyes. "He's not going to find them, is he?"

George closed his eyes briefly and then opened them and looked at Dr. Jackson. "No, I don't think so. The Air Force wants me to declare them KIA. They say it'll allow us to let them go and get on with our fight against the Goa'uld. I think they may be right."

Daniel started to reply angrily, but when he looked at Hammond he knew this had to be eating the man alive. He had been close to Jack – very close – and he'd known Sam since she was a little girl. He didn't want to give up, but he also had to think about all the other men and women under his command. On top of that, everything on base still felt like it was in limbo. As much as he hated the idea, Daniel understood.

"That doesn't mean we're going to ask Thor to stop looking does it?"

"No – the Pentagon hasn't said anything about that. And it doesn't mean we can't still have our people keep their eyes and ears open for leads. But this way, maybe there'll be some closure for all of us."

"He's going to declare them KIA", he told Janet and Teal'c later, over a cup of coffee in the commissary.

"_What_? Not General Hammond", Janet cried. "He wouldn't do that!"

"I don't think he has a choice Janet", Daniel said, staring into his cup. "He doesn't want to but – the reality is, they could be anywhere and maybe they really _are_ -"

"They are not." Teal'c sat calmly, a glass of milk in front of him.

"How do you know Teal'c?" Daniel asked. "Do you know the likelihood of them having made it to a planet with a breathable atmosphere? And even if they did, what are the chances it was a place with enough food and water for them to survive? It's so unlikely at to have been impossible!"

"Do you not believe in miracles Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel gave a bitter laugh. "I stopped believing in those about the same time that Shar'e was killed", he answered. He could almost see the flinch that Teal'c made but he didn't care. The man needed to be realistic – just like he was trying to be.

"I'm with Teal'c", Janet said softly. "I see miracles all the time and I won't stop believing they're alive."

"What _good_ will that do?" cried Daniel. "How does our having hope, in the face of insurmountable evidence, make a difference. Wouldn't we be better off to let go, just like General Hammond says, and remember them the way they were? We can still hold them in our hearts without somehow spending our lives hoping they'll be back."

"I don't know", Janet told him, her voice quavering. "Maybe it _doesn't_ do any good. But somehow I believe that as long as we have hope, they'll find a way home. Our belief will lead them back – I _know_ it", she said, defiantly.

"I too believe we must continue to have hope", Teal'c looked down at the table. When he lifted his head Daniel was surprised to see him looking terribly sad. "If I give up then if feels as if I stop believing they are alive I will cut off the way home for them."

"This doesn't make sense guys", Daniel said, sounding weary. "It sounds like a kid's story – if we just keep saying "I think they are, I think they are" – it'll be true and somehow they'll make it home."

Janet smiled slightly and reached out and touched Daniel's hand. "Exactly. And I'm going to keep saying it until they walk through that gate! I think they're alive, I think they're alive!"

"I think they are alive as well", Teal'c said firmly, his eyes looking straight ahead.

Daniel looked at his two friends, and wondered if they'd both lost it. He sighed and shook his head. And then, with a shrug of his shoulders - "I think they're alive, I think they're alive!"

The three of them laughed softly and reached out for one another – and they continued to have hope.

* * *

So, when _was_ it okay? He was lying on the couch, his feet up on the edge and his arms behind his head. He was staring up at the ceiling, trying to figure it out. Sam was out shopping and it gave him time to ponder.

It had been three weeks since their 'declaration' and things had been good. Their days had settled into a pattern of resting, talking, eating and small bits of exercise. Sam had decided he needed to start doing little things to build his strength. So far he hadn't gone out, because it was winter and he didn't want to face the cold or ice until he felt stronger.

He had been surprised at how well he was handling the enforced downtime. Still, Sam did all she could to keep him amused and from getting bored.

Their – relationship – for want of a better word, hadn't really progressed beyond what had been established the first couple of days. They were slowly getting out of the habit of 'Sir' and 'Carter' – which was one thing. Other than that they pretty much continued with the way things had been before. Oh, there was more talking about personal stuff – although nothing too intimate, and they did sleep together. He sighed. Unfortunately 'sleep', meant 'sleep'. At least she liked to cuddle, he smiled.

But that was it. They hadn't even so much as shared a kiss. In the beginning that had been okay – since he really wasn't up to (pun intended) anything physical, and hadn't had an interest in it. That had slowly been changing. He now thought frequently about her lips and what it would be like to kiss her (okay, he sort of knew that one – but wanted to experience it again). After that well – he refused to dwell on that. He knew it could quickly drive him insane.

Enough of that Jack! Get back to the subject at hand. He had to decide what to do. It had almost happened on its own anyway and he knew it _would _happen one day whatever he decided. Had their relationship progressed to the point where it was okay?

He tried to remember back to dating and his marriage with Sara. He sighed and dropped one arm down by his side. When had it been acceptable? Probably around the same time she first allowed him to see her naked.

Damn it! Stop thinking about seeing _anyone_ naked. His mind instantly moved to Sam. He didn't even know if they'd _get_ to that point – not with the way things were going. Oh, he'd had a few quick peeks over the years – they'd been teammates too long for there not to have been moments – usually during some mission when their uniforms had been destroyed. But that was different – and had never been romantic and he'd kept his mind and libido firmly in hand.

So – what if he just came out and asked her? Oh right! Wouldn't _that_ sound cool? "Hey Sam, are you okay if I – nah, the best thing was just to do it and pretend it was okay.

The funny thing was, it had never been an issue when they were teammates. In fact, he remembered Daniel. He'd looked at the archaeologist in some surprise – and Sam had giggled. Daniel had just shrugged and pushed up his glasses and asked what the problem was.

Jack had shaken his head and decided that even uptight, college professor scientists weren't immune. Over the years he'd discovered that not only wasn't Daniel immune – he was by far the worst.

He still hadn't decided what to do when Sam returned home. As usual she had a huge bag of groceries with her. She was clearly planning another culinary masterpiece in order to fatten him up. He was going to have to talk to her about that. She definitely had helped him put back on some of the weight he lost. And, although he still needed to put on more, if they weren't careful he'd soon be fat. All the rich, calorie laden meals could get to be too much of a habit – and they were what had started his train of thought in the first place.

"How's everything going?" she asked as she put away the food.

"Fine. How was the store?" He couldn't help but notice the difference a few weeks had made. For months she'd refused to make any friends here in Terra Antiqua – and had actually gone out of her way to avoid people. Now, she was spending longer and longer on her daily trips – and it was because she was making friends with the neighbors and shop keepers – and they kept her talking. He was glad for her though – she looked way happier than before.

"Good." She immediately launched into a story about one of the clerks, whose son was having trouble at school. He'd asked if she could tutor him in math. "Do you think that's okay? He could come here and we could work at the kitchen table. It might disturb you though, so I could see if -"

"It's fine Sam", he interrupted. "I'll just go into the bedroom and read or something,"

She smiled at him and started laying out a few things which were obviously for dinner. He didn't recognize everything and couldn't help a small sigh. He really would have preferred something simple, but he didn't have the heart to tell her.

After dinner that evening he actually felt like his stomach was about to explode. The dinner had been delicious, but he'd eaten too much and now felt almost sick.

Sam finished cleaning up and sat down at the table, looking at him in concern. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah", he burped silently. "Just ate too much."

"Well, that's good. You still need to gain weight."

"Sam, I'm going to get _fat_!"

"You have a long way to go before that", she scoffed. "And anyway, it's time you did some more exercise – that'll help."

"Yeah, I guess." He continued to look uncomfortable though and wasn't quite sure what to do.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I – nothing. I think I'll go sit in the living room." He got up – carefully – and walked over to the couch. He sat there, thinking about his question of earlier. Maybe it was time to talk about it after all.

She plunked herself down beside him. "Okay – shoot."

"Shoot?"

"You know – tell me what's bugging you."

"Nothing's _bugging_ me – I'm just _wondering_ about something."

"Wondering about what?"

"Well", he answered, looking at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying what we have, I'm just not sure when -

"Kiss me", she said softly, turning towards him.

His eyebrows lifted. Okay – he hadn't expected that. The next thing he knew Sam had leaned forward and placed her lips – softly, gently – on his.

He wasn't stupid and he was no longer at death's door, and he _was_ a normal man. He kissed her back – and it wasn't so soft or so gentle. Within moments he had her down on the couch with him over top of her kissing her passionately.

"Mmmm", she hummed.

"Mmmm" he replied.

"Oh", she squeaked.

"Yes!" he murmured.

His hand soon found its way under her shirt and onto her soft, silky skin. His body was humming and a little voice in his brain kept saying things like 'I'm touching Sam Carter', and 'I'm _kissing_ Sam Carter' and 'I'm touching Sam Carter's bre -"

"Jack?"

"Hmmm?"

"What are you saying?"

Oh crap – had that been out loud? "Nothing", he murmured, capturing her lips with his again. Next target – Sam Carter's _pants_. 'I have my hands down -' He bit his lip to make sure _that_ didn't come out loud!

"Bed", he managed to say finally, clearly. He could feel her nod and the next thing he knew they were moving. He slammed his face into the door jamb on the way and barely noticed although he knew he was going to have a bruise.

He was quite proud of the way he was able to get her shirt off and over her head in one fell swoop. Her bra was – _there_ – gone! He stepped back and looked and – holy crap! He was looking at Sam Carter's – "ooph". She grabbed him and pulled him in for another kiss.

The next thing he felt was _Sam Carter's hands in __**his**_** pants!** Sam Carter is _taking off my pants!_ So _there_ you slimy Goa'uld! You can't stop us from this!

She was touching him –

"Does that feel good?" her velvety voice interrupted his thoughts – but not for long.

"Oh" This time he squeaked. "Yes – very – _God_!" Sam Carter was _touching him there!_

"Jack, what are you muttering?" she asked, half laughing.

He managed to pry his eyes open and grinned. "Nothin'", he gasped and instantly closed them again.

They fell into bed, both completely naked – and hot and sweaty and excited and – and hell – who cared. They were finally in bed together and they were gonna do this thing! To hell with the regs and the Goa'uld and Daniel and Teal'c and General Hammond and Earth!

Jack grinned as his lips circled one glorious nipple. He was _so_ gonna have sex with Sam Carter!

Much later – after they'd both slept - Jack was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, with Sam curled up next to him. He thought about his question to himself of earlier in the day. He shrugged and figured they'd finally reached that point. On that thought he let it rip.

"_Jack - ooooh!_" Sam moved away from him.

He grinned. Yeah, once you saw someone naked it somehow made it easier. "Sorry – it was the rich supper." Now he knew he was in a real relationship with Sam Carter!

_**I just want to acknowledge my husband - who was the inspiration for this chapter. **_


	16. Hearthache

_**I hope you all appreciate TWO chapters in one evening. Of course this does NOT mean fewer reviews (hint, hint).**_

_**We move from silliness in the last chapter, back to angst. Sorry - but I promise to update tomorrow. Enjoy.**_

Sam said hello to the security officer, who smiled and gave her a small wave. This was the fourth time, in as many days, that she'd seen one of the officers on their street.

She'd gotten to know a few of them over the weeks that Jack had been back from the hospital. Once Deneil had let people know he was well enough for visitors, there had been a steady stream of them coming to the house to wish him well.

She was glad of it, because it gave him something to do. He had been amazing, handling his recuperation with real patience, but she knew he had to be going stir-crazy, stuck in the small apartment.

She looked around and decided it was time for him to get out and get some fresh air. The sidewalks were clear now and, although it was cold, he was well enough to bundle up and go for a walk.

On that thought she smiled and made her way into the building. As she got into the elevator and went up to their apartment she considered the last week and a half, and how their relationship had changed.

They really were a couple now. Not only were they sleeping together, they were _sleeping_ together. She couldn't help the smirk that appeared on her face. He was as good – no better – than her fantasies. Jack O'Neill was one hell of a lover!

She laughed when she thought about the black eye he sported after walking into the door that first time. When Deneil and Mora had come over the next day for dinner, he'd actually blushed when Mora had asked what had happened. Sam had covered it up by saying he'd gotten up too fast. _That_ had made Jack turn even redder. She'd worried he was going to choke.

Since then she'd teased him unmercifully, although she had to admit he'd gotten her back a few times. She reached down to open the door, happier than she could ever remember being.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, working at something with a look of extreme concentration on his face. One of the things she'd learned about him was that he could work and play equally as hard, even when at home.

"Whatcha doin'?" she called.

"Hmmm?"

"What are you doing?" she asked again, laughing.

He looked up. "Hi", he smiled. "How was shopping?"

"It was fine but _what are you doing_?"

He looked down and frowned. He picked up his pen and started to write something again. "Nothing."

"_Jack_!"

He sighed. "I'm just doing a crossword puzzle", he finally told her.

"A crossword puzzle? I didn't know they had them here. I've never seen one before."

"Not _doing_ one", he explained, "_Making_ one."

"You're making a crossword puzzle?"

"Yeah", he sighed again. "Nothing else to do."

She suddenly felt badly. He'd seemed to be handling things so well, but he must be going crazy. "How about we go out after lunch?" she told him. "We could go for a walk and get a hot drink at the little café down the road."

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise, but shortly afterward a grin appeared on his face. "You're going to let me out?"

"I'm not your _jailor_ Jack", she laughed. "You can go out if you want to."

"Yeah, and if I'd tried before now you would have tied me down!"

She smirked at him. "Hmmm, I haven't thought of that. Sounds like it could be fun!"

"Don't you go and get any ideas! And anyway, as much as I love you and love to love you", he grinned, "I want to go outside now. Do they have cake?"

"You said you wanted to watch your diet", she reminded him.

"Sam, it's _cake_ we're talkin' about. That _is_ my diet – or at least it should be. Come on, I'll walk it off."

"Okay, but it's your belly!"

They held hands as they walked slowly down the street and Sam couldn't help but laugh at Jack. He was like a kid who'd just been given a huge treat. He said hi to everyone and anyone and practically skipped down the sidewalk. She cursed herself silently for not doing this sooner. It was just that she worried about him so much.

The fact was, he still wasn't as well as he should be. He hadn't said anything, and nor had she, but he got short of breath too easily and still slept many more hours than he had in the past. He also got cold quickly and had lost a lot of strength in his hands and arms. What had really frightened her, on more than one occasion, was the fact that his lips and nails sometimes looked blue.

She wished again that Janet was here and could look at him. It might be that everything was normal and it would just take a while for him to get back to full health. Part of her however was beginning to believe that there was still something wrong.

She shrugged off the thought, knowing that she could get depressed very easily and right now she just wanted to enjoy the day and the time with Jack.

He was whistling happily, loving being outside in the crisp air, Sam's hand in his. He looked around at the people and decided that they could be happy here if they wanted to be. He wondered briefly if he should forget about finding the gate. He had a good job, it was a decent place and he had the woman he loved beside him.

He then looked down at Sam and frowned. No, it wouldn't be fair to her. As much as she'd been wonderful, and seemed to be happy, he knew it wouldn't last – not like this. She would eventually go crazy doing nothing but shopping and cooking. She was too brilliant to be stuck in a mundane life and needed to have that brain power used to its full potential. He had to see about getting her doing something besides cook and tutor kids. He'd speak with Deneil and send a message to Administrator Salea. There had to be _something._

"Here's the café", Sam pulled his hand and they crossed the street. Half a dozen people had called out to her as they walked and she'd smiled and answered. She could get to like it here, she decided.

They sat down at a small table and a waitress immediately came over. "Samantha, it's nice to see you. And who is this handsome man?"

Sam looked up at – what was her name? Imara, that was it. The woman had a speculative gleam in her eye and suddenly Sam realized she was going to have to make it very plain to people that she and Jack were no longer _just friends_! "This is my –" crap, what to call him? "Betrothed", she said clearly. "Imara, Jack loves cake. What can you recommend?"

The woman looked disappointed for a moment but then smiled and told them what was available. Jack chose something and sat back, waiting for the waitress to leave.

"Betrothed?" he asked casually.

"Sorry", she grimaced. "They don't really have a word for what we are. I hope you're okay with that."

"And what _are_ we?" he asked, ignoring her question.

Her eyes flew to his. She hadn't meant to open this up, not right now at any rate. "Uh – I guess – I don't" she finally shrugged. "I don't know."

"I see", he nodded, looking serious. "What would you _like_ us to be?"

She considered him for a moment, her eyes narrowing. She'd taken the lead in this relationship so far – which was fine because of their relative positions. She knew that it could never have been Jack – he wouldn't have done anything to compromise her or their working relationship. But now – things were different and she refused to be the one to always make the first move.

"What do _you_ want?" she finally asked. "Up until now I've been the one to make the moves. It's your turn."

He looked at her in surprise, but acknowledged her challenge. It was true that she had been the one to initiate things and to say what she wanted. It was only fair that now he be clear.

"I want us to be together", he said simply.

"How?"

He smiled. "Permanently? Legally? In whatever way we can."

"Legally? Do you mean –?" She looked at him in shock.

"Marriage? Yes, if that's what you want. If you don't – we'll continue the way we are."

"But – what if -?"

"If we get home?" He shrugged. "At this point it doesn't really matter. We've already screwed the regs", he smirked, "literally! I don't think getting married will make a difference. And anyway, even if we do get home enough time will have passed that it shouldn't matter."

"And if it does?"

"We'll deal with it then. Look, if they want to court martial us we'll ask Thor to bring us back." He smiled and reached across the table. "I love you Sam – and I want to be with you. If the Air Force has trouble with that, and thinks that our being together is somehow gonna mean the end of the universe as we know it – well, screw _them_!"

Her lips slowly turned up in a smile. She squeezed his hand and nodded. "Sounds good to me – Sir! So, are you going to ask me to marry you?"

"I thought I already had." Just then the waitress came with two pieces of cake and their drinks. Once she'd left Jack looked down and then back up at Sam. Looking deeply into her eyes he spoke. "Looks like I got my cake – and I can eat it too!"

She laughed and took a bite. "And so do I!"

When they told Mora and Deniel – who had become their closest friends – the two of them were thrilled. Mora instantly offered to help Sam plan the wedding, an offer she accepted gladly. She had no idea about anything to do with Terran weddings.

Jack shrugged and let the women plan things. He didn't really care about the wedding – he was just thrilled that Sam had agreed to marry him. The only fly in the ointment was the fact that he still hadn't told her about the possibility of finding their way home. It's not that he'd ever said they _couldn't_ and they still talked about the possibility, but he was pretty sure that she was beginning to accept, as each day went by, that they were stuck here forever.

One of the reasons he hadn't yet said anything – besides the fact that he had wanted them to have time together – was that he still wasn't in any shape to go looking for the damn thing. His health wasn't good – at least not good enough to go exploring. He wondered seriously if it ever would be.

He still suffered from shortness of breath – and sometimes from dizziness, although he hadn't told Sam that. He'd even found himself feeling confused on a few occasions – beyond what he was normally. He decided he had to go and see a doctor, but didn't know how to do it without worrying Sam. He finally spoke quietly to Deneil and asked him to help.

"Deneil is taking me to the precinct in a couple of days to say hi to the guys", he informed her casually. "I thought I'd stop in and see Administrator Rallay as well."

"Really? That's a good idea. Did you want me to come?"

"Nah, that's okay. Deneil said that Mora was going to ask if you wanted to go over to see her and the kids for a while. It'll do you good to get out for a few hours."

"That sounds nice. I haven't seen the girls in a long time."

"We'll have to stop by the precinct", he told Deneil as they headed towards the doctor's office. "I told Sam that's where I was going and she'll get suspicious if I don't tell her about it."

Deneil nodded and told him they'd stop in on the way back. He glanced at his friend and grew worried. O'Neill still looked too pale and thin – and on odd occasions his hands seemed to shake. He wondered if Samantha even noticed since she saw him every day.

Jack told the doctor how he was feeling and the man pursed his lips and didn't say much. He did a thorough exam and then sent Jack down the hall for something like X-rays. He wasn't sure if they were the same as on Earth, but they did produce pictures of a sort.

He waited for almost an hour after the tests before the doctor came back in the room. He sat in the chair opposite Jack.

"Well, Assistant Administrator O'Neill, I've looked at the results of all your tests and I'm sorry to say there's not much more we can do."

"Do? About what?" Jack looked at him in confusion, not sure what this was about.

"Didn't they tell you when you were in the hospital?" The man frowned at him.

"Tell me _what_?"

The doctor sighed and leaned forward. "There was extensive damage to your heart", he said bluntly, "as well as to your left lung. They were able to patch you up as much as they could, but the damage remains. You will simply have to take it very easy."

"What are you saying Doc?" he growled. "No one told me anything."

The doctor sighed again and said a silent curse towards the doctors at the hospital. "Here, let me show you." He pulled up what looked exactly like and X-Ray and proceeded to show Jack the damage. "Right now your heart is barely able to work hard enough to provide circulation and oxygen to the rest of your body, but it is managing to keep you alive and on your feet. You _must_ be cautious though. Any excess exertion or stress is going to make it difficult and you will find yourself getting weak and dizzy. You could also cause your heart to stop completely."

"What are you sayin'?" he repeated. "That I'm gonna be an _invalid_?"

"If you're careful, you could have some good years left", the doctor said gently. "But you have to be very careful. I would also suggest you keep your weight down – any excess will also strain your heart. Don't walk up a lot of stairs and definitely don't doing any heavy work or running. Do small amounts of exercise and get plenty of rest. I'm also going to give you a script for medicine to take if you ever find yourself short of breath."

Jack sat there stunned while the doctor went to get him the prescription. He felt like his world was coming to an end and he didn't know what to do. The man practically told him he wasn't going to live very long. God – and that would leave Sam all alone, grieving and away from her home and family.

He got back in the transport with Deneil, not saying anything. His friend looked at him worriedly and, after a few minutes of silence, finally spoke. "What did he say?"

Jack laughed bitterly. "Nothing much – other than the fact that I don't have long to live."

"_What_?" Deneil pulled over to the side of the road. "What are you talking about?"

"My heart. It was damaged past repair and I probably have a few years left at the most – if I'm careful", he laughed. "God – what about Sam?" He put his head in his hands, feeling total despair.

Deneil sat with him for almost an hour, just listening to him pour out his grief and anguish. In the end he promised not to say anything to Sam, although he thought Jack was making a mistake.

"She deserves to know O'Neill."

"Why? What good will it do? She'll want to wrap me up and not let me do anything – which will drive both of us crazy. I want whatever time we have left to be good – not with her worrying that I'm going to drop dead at any moment."

"But – "

"But nothing. Deneil", Jack turned to his friend. "Promise me you'll watch out for her if – when "

"Of course – but that won't be for a long, long time. You should go to another doctor – maybe this one was wrong!"

Jack smiled and laid his head on the headrest. "I don't think so." After a moment of silence he lifted his head. "Let's go to the precinct before it's too late."

When he got back that evening he had to work really hard not to let on that anything was wrong. Sam knew there was _something_ but he claimed he was tired and eventually she seemed to believe him. After she'd gone to sleep that night he lay there, thinking about her and about their life on Terra. He decided, there and then, that he had to find the way back to Earth. Even if he didn't make it, Sam deserved the chance and she was going to need her home and family.

He cursed softly – suddenly feeling terribly sorry for himself. Why now? Why when he'd just found happiness and – finally – peace, did this have to happen?

He lay there, not sleeping, as the tears leaked from his eyes and fell on his pillow. He pulled Sam closer to him and breathed in her sent. "Oh Sam", he whispered. "Why?"

Their wedding was beautiful. In the end they decided to just have Deneil and Mora there as witnesses and no one else. They married on the beach, late in the evening and said vows that were simple yet meaningful. They looked out at the reflection of the stars in the ocean – it felt like a blessing for both of them as they'd first met while travelling those stars and were now starting their live together under them.

They ate dinner together with their friends and then said goodbye and left for their honeymoon. Deneil and Mora had laughed at the word, but had told them they had the same custom. They stayed at a small inn, close to the beach, where they simply loved each other.

When they returned home Jack told her he was going back to work – part-time. He'd had a conversation with Rallay and had told the man the truth. He didn't think he could work at the same pace as before, but the Administrator was willing to have him come back half days.

"Of course we want you Jack", he'd said. "Just don't overwork yourself. I've made Officer Deneil your assistant and you can get him to do the difficult work."

He was grateful for the chance and for the fact that he'd at least bring in some salary. He urged Sam to find something as well, knowing that she might one day need the money. She would also be happier with something to do other than wait on him. She'd finally agreed and had found a position teaching. This time it was at a college and the classes were more advanced, therefore more interesting.

Their lives settled into a pattern – a rather mundane one, thought Jack. At the same time it was good. They were in love and were finding living together to be easier than they'd thought it would be. They had the occasional fight but never anything too serious. They had a small circle of friends and work that kept them interested. Sam started hinting that maybe they should find a bigger place, although Jack resisted. He wouldn't tell her why.

It was on their one year anniversary on Terra that he finally decided it was time to tell Sam there might be a way back to Earth. He hadn't told anyone – even Deneil – but he knew his heart was growing weaker and he was pretty sure he didn't have much time left. He had to get her home before it was too late.

As for him – he knew he was going to end his days here on Terra.


	17. The Search

_**Here you go! Less angst and more moving the plot forward. **_

"Sam." He called her into the kitchen, where he was sitting at the table. He'd finally decided it was time to talk about Earth.

"What?" she came out of the bedroom pulling on a comfortable shirt after a long day of teaching. "Sorry I was late – did you fix yourself something to eat?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. There are left-overs in the cooler."

She gave him a quick kiss on her way to grab her dinner. "How was work today?"

"Fine. The report came in today and crime is down again this month in the precinct."

"That's great", she grinned, chewing on a Terran carrot. She plunked her plate down, sat down herself and began to eat.

He watched her for a few moments, reveling in the fact that he could do this without worrying how it looked and even more so in the fact that she was his wife. God she was beautiful! "So", he finally asked. "How was your day?"

She told him about some of her students and the fact that there was one in particular who was especially bright. She then complained for a few minutes about the school administrator, who only seemed worried about money, not about the students.

"So", she finished dinner and sat back. "Any thoughts about this weekend? I thought we could go hiking. The weather's warming up and Mora told me about some nice trails outside the city."

She'd been trying to get him to go for the last few weeks, but he'd managed to put her off each time with one excuse or another. It was becoming more and more difficult and he knew he had to think of something to tell her. The fact was, he just wasn't up to a long hike – especially if they were going to go and search for the gate.

"Uh – there's something else Sam", he finally said. "I wanted to talk to you about it."

"What?" she frowned, looking carefully at him. He seemed okay, although she continued to worry about him. It was hard for her to tell any more, but she thought he still looked too pale and thin. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah", he smiled. "Just fine, although you may be mad at me when I tell you."

"Tell me what?" Now she _was_ worried.

"Uh something happened – before I moved out and stayed with the Deneils –"

"Back then? What happened?" She remembered that time clearly, even though she'd rather not. But Jack hadn't said anything to her about anything unusual that occurred and she wondered why he was bringing it up now.

"Well, I was trying to find out anything I could about the gate, but I didn't seem to have any luck. As far as I could tell no one had ever heard of it."

"Mmm hmm", she agreed. "I don't think they have – at least not here on Terra Antiqua, and I haven't found anyone from Nova who knew about it either."

Jack nodded. "Well, I found something."

"You found – _before_ you moved out?"

"Yes", he grimaced in silent apology. "I was going to tell you and then everything kind of – exploded, between us. I'm sorry", he said quickly, when he saw her expression grow more tense. "I didn't plan to keep it from you, I just decided I'd find out more before I said anything."

She nodded, once. "Did you?"

"Yes – a bit." He leaned forward and tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away from him. With a sinking heart he continued. "I told you you'd be mad at me", he whispered. "Sam, I wasn't planning to hide anything from you. I really _was_ going to tell you everything and then I was attacked."

"And afterward?" she asked softly.

"I was going to tell you then too. But that's when -"

"That's when I said I didn't want to talk about it", she stopped him. "I remember – you started to say something and I didn't want to hear it."

He shrugged and looked sadly at her. "I should have told you anyway but – I wanted to be together and when you said what you did I worried that if I told you -" he let his voice fade and waited for her reaction. He could see her try and process things and waited for everything to hit the fan.

"So, you decided that being with me was more important than us finding a way home?" she asked, not giving anything away.

"Uh – yeah", he nodded. "I didn't plan to keep it from you permanently but I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to wait a bit longer – and I needed time to recuperate and – and you're mad, aren't you?"

She looked at him, her expression not changing. He suddenly found it hard to breathe and wondered if it was simple nerves, or if the stress of the moment was making it hard for his heart to work. If things went badly he wouldn't care if it _was_ his heart. He wouldn't have anything to live for anyway.

"No", she said softly, "I'm not mad. I'm – you loved me that much?"

"Of course I did – do", he answered in surprise. "I thought you knew –"

"Oh Jack", she said, so softly he could barely hear. Before he had a chance to figure out what she was thinking, she'd stood and sat on his lap and thrown her arms around him. "God, I love you so much!"

Well _that_ postponed the discussion for quite some time! When they were finally able to speak they moved to the living room and sat together on the couch.

"So, tell me what you found", Sam asked.

He was rather surprised at how _calm_ she seemed about everything – as if returning to Earth was no big deal. He glanced at her and was going to mention it when he saw her eyes. They were practically glowing with excitement. He frowned – that was _not_ a good way of putting it. But anyway – she obviously was excited.

"_Jack!_"

"Oh, sorry", he grinned. "Here. He leaned forward and grabbed the book he'd laid down on the coffee table. "I found this book in the Security archives. I don't think anyone has looked at it for years."

"What does it say?"

"Well", his grin grew wider. "It wasn't what it _said_, that interested me – or at least not at first. Here." He opened the book and flipped a few pages until he found it. He then handed the book to her.

"My God! It's the gate!" There, right in the middle of the book, was a picture of a Stargate. It had obviously been drawn and wasn't perfect – but it couldn't be anything else. She squinted down at it. "I can't see all the symbols", she said.

"I know. I even tried with a magnifying glass, but it looks like whoever drew it didn't know them all, or had forgotten them."

"Does it say anything about it?"

"Yup. Here." Jack pointed to the paragraph. "Read this."

Sam quickly skimmed the sentences, her face crinkled up in concentration. Jack was smiling – he hadn't seen the 'Carter' look for a long time and he couldn't help but think how wonderful it was to see it again. "What do you think?"

She looked up. "It's in Terra Incognita!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. In a place called", he looked down at the book, "Ocufer" – sounds weird! The problem is, how do we find out where that is and then, how do we get there?" he gave a small smile. "Unfortunately, Terra Incognita is aptly named."

"But why?" her forehead wrinkled in thought.

"Well, we don't know -"

"No, I mean why would the gate be there, and why do people avoid that part of their world?"

"Maybe it's like Antarctica?" he suggested. "It could be nothing but cold and ice."

"I suppose that's possible, but then you'd think people would say that. As far as I've been able to tell no one _talks_ about it. It's as if it's a taboo subject."

"I don't know, Deneil said something to me about it once."

"He did? What?"

"Uh", he thought for a moment. "Something about it being a good thing they'd all left there and come to Terra Antiqua."

"They'd _left_? So that means the people here originally lived there?"

"Or they arrived there and made their way to a more hospitable place."

"It's possible I suppose. Did you ask Deneil what he meant?"

"Yeah – he just looked at me and said that's what people always said. He didn't know anything about it and he didn't seem particularly interested."

"Doesn't _that_ strike you as strange?" she suddenly sat up and turned to him. "Why is it that no one seems to want to know anything about Incognita _or_ even very much about Nova? Everyone just accepted that it was destroyed and that Terra Antiqua wasn't but no one asked why that was."

"We didn't worry about it much ourselves", he reminded her.

"Okay – although we had a few other things on our mind."

"Not when we first got here, but I know what you mean. So, if the gate is in Terra Incognita", he said, returning to the subject, "how do we find it?"

"Did you look up this Ocufer to see if you could find any reference to it?"

"I started to but that was about the time I ended up in hospital. I haven't done much since then."

"Of course not", she agreed. She read the passage again. "Does the rest of the book say anything?"

"No. It's a history of the people here and it goes into lots of other details, but nothing about their origins or the Stargate. It does talk about some kind of rebellion which freed the people – I expect that's when they overthrew the Goa'uld, although it doesn't refer to them specifically. This passage was in a chapter about Terran myths – seeming to imply it wasn't true."

"But then why the picture?"

"I don't know", he frowned. He flipped the book over to the back to see a picture of the author. "Maritus Jansone. The book was written almost thirty years ago, so he may be dead but we could check to see if he has any family. Maybe they know something about it."

"Good idea!" Sam exclaimed. "Do you have any idea how to track people down?"

"Well", he grinned, "You happen to be married to a man who works for the security forces. If anyone can find someone, it's me! I'll check tomorrow."

"Great. In the meantime I'll see if I can find any other references to this Ocufer place."

"And you're really not mad at me for not telling you sooner?"

"No. In fact I'm grateful. We wouldn't have had this time together if you had."

It took him very little time to find out where Maritus Jansone was. He was in the local cemetery – having died almost twenty years ago. Disappointed, he kept looking and soon discovered that the man had a daughter who taught history. A slow smile broke out on his face when he realized it was at the same College where Sam was teaching, although she was a full professor, not just a lecturer like Sam.

Sam had less luck trying to find out about Ocufer, but they decided that was something they'd ask Professor Eeda Jansone when they spoke with her.

"You must be Assistant Administrator O'Neill?" the gray haired woman stood as they entered. "Please, have a seat."

Sam had been able to find out how to contact the Professor and had made an appointment to see her with Jack. She couldn't believe how nervous she was feeling about this whole thing. As soon as she'd seen the woman she'd had the eerie feeling that they were on the right track and that getting back to Earth just might be a possibility. She'd given up hoping for that months ago.

"Thank you for taking the time to see us Professor", Jack responded. "This is my wife, who also teaches here at the college."

"It is lovely to meet you both", Jansone smiled. "So tell me, what can I do for you? Samantha O'Neill indicated that it had something to do with my father's book?"

"Yes – we've been doing some research and discovered a reference in the book to a place called Ocufer. We believe it may be in Terra Incognita. There was also a diagram of a circle" Sam opened the book and handed it to the Professor. "There wasn't much in the book and we were wondering if you knew anything about this?"

Eeda Jansone looked down at the picture, staring at it for longer than seemed necessary. When she finally lifted her face both Jack and Sam knew that she knew _something. _ "Why are you interested in this?" she asked.

"Uh – my husband and I are refugees", Sam explained, "and this is something we first heard about while we still lived in Terra Nova. My husband found this book at work and he was curious. He's something of a history buff", she laughed. She and Jack had talked about this and agreed to the story they were going to tell. They hoped it would be enough.

"Really? My father could never find any references to this on Terra Nova – or from anyone from there."

"But he did find other references here?" Sam asked gently.

"Oh yes – there were quite a few. I think they've probably all been destroyed or lost", she told them, handing the book back. "As it says, it's just a myth."

"A myth? Why do you say that?"

Eeda looked at them sharply. "What else _could_ it be?" she asked. "Surely you don't believe the stories?"

"Well – I guess it depends on _what_ stories", Jack answered, resisting the attempt to look over at Sam.

"The stories of a gate to the stars", she said, sounding impatient. "I grew up with those stories, so much so that I believed they were true. I'm afraid my father started to believe them as well."

"But from his book it sounds like he thought it was a myth– or was this an earlier book?" Sam spoke to her carefully, seeming to realize that the woman was on edge.

"Earlier? No, it was his last", she laughed softly. "By that time the university told him he'd better stop his nonsense or he'd lose his job. They didn't want him teaching myths to the students as though they were facts."

Both Jack and Sam looked at each other at that. The story reminded them too much of Daniel. "So they forced him to publish this about the gate?"

"They forced him to call the story a myth. He didn't want to and in fact wrote a lot more about it but the publisher edited it out. Papa was angry and wouldn't publish anymore. He retired shortly after that."

"I see – I don't suppose you have any of his other books, or his notes?"

Eeda Jansone looked at them, her eyes darting back and forth. "You don't think it's a myth either, do you?"

"No", Sam answered, knowing that only the truth would work. "We think it's true, and we hope to find the gate."

"They won't let you, you know."

"You think they'll try and stop us?" Jack said, worrying already.

"They'll stop you from publishing anything, yes. As to whether they'll stop you from looking – I think if you're careful you'll be okay. Just don't tell the wrong people. Keep it quiet or else you may find yourself in trouble."

"Why do you think they're so worried about the information getting out?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's just that they worry people will be upset – or maybe there's some other reason for keeping it quiet. I don't know and frankly I don't care. This was my father's passion, not mine."

"And you won't help us?"

Again she considered her two guests. Finally she stood up. "Wait here." She was gone for a few minutes and when she returned she was carrying a package, wrapped up in string. "These are my father's notes", she told them. "It was his last book, _before_ the edits. There might be something in here."

"Thank you", Sam smiled at her. "We can't tell you how much this means."

"Yes – well, I hope you find what you're looking for."

"There's just one other thing Professor", Jack asked as they stood to leave. "Your father spoke of a place called Ocufer. Do you know anything about that?"

"Of course", she replied. "But Ocufer was the name given by the publisher. The actual name is Ocularis Infernum, although I don't know if that will help you any."

They thanked her and left, heading immediately back to their apartment. It was a long walk, and they took it slowly, walking quietly side by side.

"You know what it means don't you?" Jack finally asked. "The Eye of Hell."

"I know. But what does it refer to? Is it the gate itself, or the place where the gate is situated?"

"Well, if the people weren't happy to be brought here, it _could_ be the name for the gate, although I don't think I've heard it called that anywhere else."

"Nor have I. If it's a location that might help us find it."

"True, if there was any information about Incognita anywhere. I haven't seen anything about it including any map."

By the time they arrived home Jack was ready to pass out. The walk had tired him out, although he didn't want Sam to know. He'd done a pretty good job of hiding how he felt from her, but he had to be careful. Instead of collapsing, he went into the kitchen to make some tea. It would hopefully help wake him up.

As Jack walked into the kitchen Sam looked after him with a frown, again worrying about him. He looked so tired, after a relatively short walk. He seemed to sleep more than normal and she'd caught him, on more than one occasion, sound asleep on the couch in the middle of the day. She had to get him to go and see the doctor.

"Come and sit down", she patted the couch beside her. He sat down and she could practically hear the sigh, even though he hadn't made a sound. "Let's look at this and see if the Professor has said anything."

Sam handed him half of the notes, taking half herself. They both started to read.

Jack could feel himself nodding off and was wondering how much longer he could last when he suddenly sat up. "I've found something", he said. "It's about the gate."

"Read it out loud", she said, setting her own materials down.

"The gate to the stars was the route the demons used to bring the people to Terra. They enslaved the peoples of the home world, and forced the men, women and children to worship them." Jack looked up. "Who does that sound like?" He lowered his head and continued to read. "The ones whose eyes were light, but whose hearts were dark – yup Goa'uld", he commented, "brought the people through the gate to the stars and onto this harsh new world."

"It sounds like where they came through wasn't very nice", Sam noted.

"Probably not. I expect it was better when the Ancients placed the gate there. I wonder why the Goa'uld picked this planet if the area around the gate wasn't any good?" He continued. "For many days and many nights the people were herded, like the animals of the plains. Scores too countless to number died, but many more kept coming. Eventually those that survived reached the sea. Their captors forced them into vessels and they crossed the waters until they arrived in Terra Antiqua."

"Okay, so we know for a fact that the people were brought by the Goa'uld through the Stargate. We still don't know _where_ it is, and we can't just go looking for a gate without some idea."

"No, I agree. Maybe there's something else in there. Keep reading." Jack bent his head to the papers.

He skimmed some more of the text, but it was almost another hour before he found anything and then he grinned. "Here!" he cried. "Found it!"

"What?"

"Ocularis Infernum! He talks about it here." He began to read again.

"When the first peoples were brought to this land, they arrived at a place called Ocularis Infernum – Eye of Hell. It was aptly named as fire and smoke arose from the ground and tremors passed through the earth. The gate to the stars sat close to the eye, giving truth to those arriving that they truly had been brought from their homes to the entrance of hell. Ouch", Jack said. "that must have been unpleasant."

"To say the least! Is there more?"

"Hmmm. Just a bit. "They quickly left that place, even the demons seeming to hate the fire and smoke and putrid smell. They travelled away from it as fast as they could, arriving eight days later at the shores of the sea."

"So, it was an eight day walk", Sam said. "That'll help, although we don't know how quickly they were able to travel."

"Remember there were children so they probably didn't more that fast."

"And it talks about the putrid smell. Sulfur?"

"Could be", he nodded. "In fact it sounds like some kind of underground spring or geysers. That should narrow the search substantially."

"Unless all of Terra Incognita is made up of geysers!" she said gloomily.

"Oh ye of little faith", Jack replied. He reached over and took the papers from Sam's hand. "Enough! We'll look again tomorrow but for now it's time for bed."

As they walked arm in arm to their bedroom Sam looked at him. "Do you think we'll find it?"

He stopped and turned to her. "Of course", he told her. "I don't know when or how yet – but we'll make it home."

She leaned forward, her head against his chest. "I'm already home Jack", she said softly. "I'm with you."


	18. Breathing

_**Sorry for the delay in posting. This time it wasn't my fault – my computer was sick and wouldn't connect to the internet. I finally took it to the IT doctor yesterday and he fixed it. Hopefully I'll be able to post regularly again.**_

_**More angst - I hope you continue to enjoy!**_

They continued to search for any information they could find about Terra Incognita, the eye of hell or the gate. So far they hadn't found anything and were stymied as to where else to look. Jack continued to work part-time although Sam's hours had increased, allowing her less time to investigate.

Jack was quite relieved that Sam was working more since it gave him the opportunity to rest during the day without her knowing about it. By the time she came home in the evening he was able to be up and around and act as if things were all okay. He didn't know how long he could keep it up but he hoped it would be long enough to find her a way home.

In the little bit of spare time that Sam had, she looked for anything she could discover about the geography of Terra Incognita. She was frustrated at the lack of almost anything, although she did find some old books in the library that talked a little about the barren and windswept land. She was thrilled when she found a passage that talked about it being a place where 'steam rose from the ground into the air'. Reading on, she was disappointed when there was nothing more about it and no clue as to where exactly this place was.

"There has to be something _somewhere_", she said to Jack one evening as they were sitting together on the couch. "Didn't Professor Jansone say that her father had found other references to it?"

"Yeah, I think so but it sounds like they may have been destroyed."

"But why? And by whom?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't know. I've tried to find out something but I pretty much get blank looks or people asking me why in the world I'd want to know about Incognita. They all seem perfectly satisfied with things the way they are."

Jack was feeling frustrated himself. No, in actual fact he was beyond frustration. He _had_ to find a way home for Sam or else she was going to be stuck here alone. He'd been getting more and more attacks of breathlessness and dizziness and knew that his heart was slowly failing him.

He'd been back to the doctor – a different one this time – and had gotten pretty much the same answer. The second doctor told him he should stay quiet and avoid any kind of activity. He also gave him some stronger pills in case of an attack although the doctor didn't look very certain they'd do much.

There was no way in hell he was going to spend the last little bit of his life as an invalid, he decided on his way home. Still, he'd have to take it as easy as possible until they figured out a way home.

He walked into their apartment then and sat down. Sam wasn't back yet and things were quiet. It was then – for the first time – that he allowed despair to wash over him. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live – for himself, but mostly for Sam. God, he loved her so much and finally they had a chance to be together. But now it was only to be for a very short time.

He looked up, speaking to a God he wasn't sure he believed in anymore. "Why?" he whispered. "Why are you doing this to me – to us? Wasn't it enough that I lost Charlie?" He bowed his head into his hands and wept, the hot tears running through his fingers.

By the time Sam returned home he was again his usual self. All traces of tears had been washed away and he began to whistle as soon as he heard the door open. He was standing in front of the stove, making dinner when Sam walked in.

He turned around and smiled at his beautiful wife. She instantly walked over to him and put her arms around his waist, watching out for the dripping spoon.

"Hi", she said into his chest. "I missed you."

"Me too", he kissed the top of her head. "How was your day?"

She told him as she put her things away and as he continued to make dinner. It was only when she sat down at the table that she looked at him closely. There was something – off – about him, but she couldn't tell what it was. He certainly looked happy enough but –

"What?' he glanced over at her and grinned. "What are you staring at?"

"Me? I wasn't staring!" she answered indignantly, although with a small grin.

"It was my incredible cooking skills, wasn't it?"

"Nope", she said, straight-faced. "Actually, it was your incredible bod'", she told him.

He waggled his eyebrows at her and straightened up, pushing out his chest. "Oh yeah – just call me stud!"

"Jack", she said as they were eating dinner together. "Let's go for a walk after dinner. It's a beautiful evening and we haven't been out together for a long time."

What he really wanted to do was to lie down and sleep. Working in the morning and then the trip to the doctor had exhausted him – as had his little emotional breakdown. Still, she looked so hopeful and it was true they hadn't really gone anywhere or done anything for weeks.

"Okay, let me get my jacket", he told her. Within moments they were walking down the street. The shadows were beginning to lengthen as the planet's sun started to set. The street was quiet, since it was dinner time for most people in Terra.

"This is nice", Sam said softly, her hand in Jack's. "We should do this more often."

"Mmm hmm", he replied, squeezing her hand. He couldn't help looking down at her, marveling again at the fact that she loved him. He felt another wave of sadness hit him but then told himself that it would be okay. Sam was strong and she was still young enough to one day find someone else who would love her. There was silence for a few moments as they walked on until Jack could feel Sam pause briefly. She then spoke.

"Jack, what if -"

"What if?"

"What if we can't find a way back? What if this is it and we have to spend the rest of our lives here on Terra?"

"Well then, I guess we find a bigger house and I buy a dog", he replied calmly.

"_Jack_! Be serious!"

"I am", he stopped and turned her so she was facing him. "If that's the case then we make the best of it and accept that this is our home. It's not a bad place. I mean, we have good jobs, friends, good food, a place to live."

"And each other", she leaned forward and put her arms around him.

"Yeah", he said softly, hugging her in return. He was glad she couldn't see his face. "So", he said after a few seconds. "Can I get that dog?"

She laughed and pulled away from him. "Only if I can get a cat!"

"I guess", he sighed but then smiled and leaned down and kissed her. "Come on, you're the one who wanted to walk."

They continued for a few more steps when again Sam stopped. He looked down at her in surprise. "What is it?"

"What about – kids?" she finally asked.

He closed his eyes briefly, feeling a sudden and swift pain in his chest. He was pretty sure it was not really a heart attack but the intense pain he felt at her question. God – there's nothing he wanted more than to have children with Sam but it wasn't to be.

"Let's wait and see if we can make it ho – back to Earth", he said. "Then we can talk about it some more."

"But – do you want kids? I mean, I'll understand if you don't and that's okay but – I'm just wondering -."

After a couple of painful heartbeats he answered. "Yeah", he said softly, gently. "There's nothing I'd like more." At least that wasn't a lie.

She nodded and smiled. "Come on lazybones, let's keep going."

They walked for a couple more blocks and then turned to head back home. Sam seemed to sense that he was tiring and had looked at him worriedly a few times. She didn't say anything, just stopped and announced she was tired and wanted to go home.

They were within a block of their apartment when it happened. The streets had been quiet and they had only seen one or two people hurrying home after a late day. They were both surprised, therefore, when three people stepped out from a dark alley into their path.

It took Jack a few seconds before he recognized the man in front of him. Crap! It was Chumore and a couple of his buddies.

"Be careful", he said quietly to Sam. "That's the guy that stabbed me."

"You remember me O'Neill?" the would-be assassin asked. "I'm glad. I'd hate for you to forget the man who's going to send you to hell."

"Why are you doing this?" Sam asked calmly. "You know they'll eventually find you and you'll go to prison for the rest of your life."

Chumore laughed. "Who are you pretty lady? You must be O'Neill's woman. Don't you worry about anything. Once he's gone I'll take you and we'll have some fun together."

She looked at him in disgust but then glanced at Jack carefully. This was a situation they'd been in a number of times in their careers and she knew that he would be carefully thinking and planning his way out of the situation. She just wished he was in better condition. He still hadn't fully recovered from the initial attack.

"I tell you what Chumore", Jack told him. "Why don't you go and leave us alone and we won't have to kill you."

Chumore laughed, as did his companions. "Really? You're gonna kill me? Can I ask how?"

"'Fraid not", Jack replied. "I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

"Enough!" the thug said seriously. "Kreevah – grab the woman. Telore, you grab O'Neill and hold him while I work him over. I'm gonna enjoy this!"

Kreevah stepped forward, a grin on his face. The next thing he knew he was flying through the air to land solidly and painfully against a brick wall. Although it didn't knock him out completely, it did stun him, which gave enough time for Sam to turn her attention to helping Jack with the other two.

Jack was struggling with Telore, who had tried to grab his arms. Chumore had been standing, watching – but when he saw Kreevah flying away he started forward, a long dagger in his hand. "I'm gonna kill you, you _putlah!"_

Sam had been on Terra long enough to learn some pretty choice swear words and knew she'd basically been called a bitch. Glancing to make sure Jack was okay, she faced Chumore full on. Without pausing she spun and lifted her leg, hitting him right across the face with her foot.

He grunted and flew to the side. Unfortunately he managed to stay standing and keep hold of his weapon. He came towards her again, this time watching out for her foot.

Sam backed away carefully, keeping her eye on the dagger. It was a wicked looking weapon but she was grateful they didn't use guns on Terra. If she was careful she could deal with this. All she needed was for Chumore to get careless. "You're a useless _crotni_", she taunted him, using the Terran word for 'eunich' – which was also a terrible insult. "It's a good thing because it would be terrible if you were to reproduce. The last thing the city needs is a bunch of little _hootnah's_ running around with your blood!"

With a roar Chumore rushed at her, slashing his knife as he came. Sam stood, waiting until the last moment when she spun around again, this time knocking his feet out from underneath him. When he hit the ground he twisted his body and reached out to grab her ankle.

He managed to catch one and pull her over onto the ground. She cursed as she felt herself begin to fall, although she had enough control to stay as far away from Chumore as possible. She knew that in a hand-to-hand fight she was at a severe disadvantage.

He scrambled around, trying to reach her, her ankle still grasped securely in his hand. She desperately kicked out at him with her other leg. At one point she felt her foot connect and heard his grunt of pain. He continued to hold on though and she knew she had to try something different before he was able to get near enough to tackle her with his dagger.

Jack finally managed to stop the man named Telore when he was able to grab his hair and force his head against the wall. The man instantly collapsed and Jack let him fall to the ground. He was gasping for breath and couldn't see for the black spots in his eyes and stood for a moment, bent over with his hands on his knees. It was then he heard wrestling and grunting and was desperate to see what was happening and to help Sam.

He gasped out her name but didn't have enough oxygen to even make himself heard. He forced himself to stand, just in time to see the second man – Kreepy – pull himself up and start to head towards the two bodies fighting on the ground.

Jack didn't think – he knew there wasn't time for that. He simply launched himself at Kreevah, forcing him face first into the wall. Using his last bit of remaining strength, he managed to get his arm around the guy's neck. With his remaining hand he grabbed his head and twisted with all his strength. He heard a 'crack' and then a strange sigh and the second man also sunk to the ground. In his case though, he would never get up again.

"Sam", he gasped out, turning to see what was happening. He saw more movement on the ground and tried to move towards them but his body had decided it had had enough and he went down onto his knees. "Sam", he whispered, the world around him starting to black out. Please God – not now, not like this!

Chumore had managed to pull himself around so that he was almost on top of Sam. He was so close she could see the man's bloodshot, evil eyes. He laughed and she watched as he lifted his arm, ready to strike. There was a brief moment when she thought that this might be it – this might be the end. She then thought of Jack and what they had together and then knew she couldn't give up.

With a grunt and using all her remaining strength, she managed to push herself up and over, landing right on top of the bastard, knocking the air out of his lungs. At the same time she reached for his arm with both of hers.

He frantically tried to fight her off of him and take back control, but Sam wasn't about to let go. She was fighting, not just for her life, but for Jack's as well. There was a short struggle – although to Sam it felt like it went on forever. In the end though, her determination and her will to live on meant the difference between defeat and victory.

She rolled off the body of the man who had hurt Jack and who had then tried to kill him. She was panting and needed a few seconds to catch her breath. Chumore lay there, his eyes open in death, the dagger sticking out of his chest. It had gone right through his heart – justice for what he'd done to Jack, she thought.

_Jack_! God – where was he? She pushed herself to her knees and looked around. Oh God – he was lying on his back, his eyes closed. Don't let him be dead – please. She pushed herself up and stumbled over to him, dropping down by his side, her breath wheezing in fear.

"_Jack! _Oh my God – talk to me!" She leant down and listened. She was breathing so hard it was impossible to hear. She forced herself to calm down and reached for his neck. It took a few horrifying seconds, but she finally found the faint – and erratic – heartbeat. Had he been hurt? She looked at him carefully, but there was no blood. He had what looked like some marks on his face where he'd been hit, but they didn't look too bad. She glanced around to see the other two attackers lying dead or unconscious. At that moment she also heard sounds and looked up to see a small group of people. "Please", she panted. "My husband and I were attacked. Someone call for help."

There was silence for a moment and then someone called out that they'd get help. Everyone seemed to move at that moment and within seconds there were people surrounding them. Someone brought a blanket and she covered Jack with it. Someone else brought some water and she took a long drink and then tried to give some to him. When he didn't waken she took a cloth someone else handed her and soaked it in the water and laid it on his head.

That seemed to do the trick and his eyes opened. He blinked and looked at her with unfocused eyes. It was then she noticed how blue his lips seemed and that he was having trouble breathing.

"What happened?" she asked him. "Where are you hurt?" She looked again for any wounds, thinking that maybe he had some broken ribs like that time in Antarctica. She started to gently feel for anything when his hand suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Pills", he gasped.

"What?"

"Pills – pocket".

He seemed to be finding it harder to breathe and she was terrified. She frantically began to search his pockets and finally found a small pouch. "Is this it?" she asked.

He nodded. "Two", he gasped.

With shaking hands she poured out two of the tablets into her palm and then put them on his tongue. She helped lift his head and gave him a drink of water. It was hard for him, but he managed to get them down. He then closed his eyes, continuing to try and get enough oxygen into his lungs.

After a few minutes – which felt like years to both of them – his breathing began to get better and, even in the dim light, she could see the color start to come back into his face.

By this time security agents had arrived. Fortunately both of them knew who Jack was and they quickly and efficiently took charge. The one surviving attacker was lifted onto a stretcher and taken to the hospital under heavy guard. The two bodies were covered and taken away, presumably to the morgue.

"Help me up", Jack told her after a few more minutes.

"No – we're waiting for another ambulance and you're going to the hospital.

"I'm okay Sam", he said. "There's no need."

"Yes there is", she said angrily. "You couldn't breathe and you need help."

"There's nothing they can do", he said gently. He reached out and took her hand at her startled look.

"What do you mean?" she whispered. "What were those pills?"

He closed his eyes, cursing himself and Chumore and the shitty deal they'd been given. He finally opened them up again. "Let's go home and I'll explain."

She finally nodded, although she looked half sick. She helped him get to his feet and felt like crying at how weak and disoriented he seemed. "I still think you should go to the hospital."

"Assistant Administrator O'Neill?" One of the security officers approached him. "Are you okay Sir?"

"Just a little bruised officer", he told the man. "Fortunately we're both okay. That was-"

"Chumore. Yes Sir, we know. We've been told to be on the lookout for him. I'm just sorry we weren't here to help but it looks like you managed okay. How did you take down three men Sir, if I may ask?"

"I didn't", Jack said, finding it hard to stand and talk. "My wife took out two of them. I just dealt with the third."

The officer stared at him in disbelief for a moment and then shook his head. "Well, you're both lucky. I'm sure you want to go home after this – just come down to the precinct tomorrow and make your report."

"Will do officer. Thanks."

Jack and Sam managed to make it back to their apartment, with the help of one of their neighbors who had come out to see what all the commotion was. By the time they arrived Jack was practically unconscious again and Sam wasn't in much better shape. They cleaned up, had some more water and then both collapsed into bed. Jack was out in a few seconds but as tired as Sam was she couldn't sleep, instead she looked down at her husband.

Why hadn't she noticed it before, she asked herself? He was too thin and pale – and had been even before this evening. He slept way more than was normal, was weak and never seemed to want to do anything physical. That wasn't like him – he'd always had an excess of energy and could outpace any of them.

A small sob escaped her throat. She should have known. She should have realized. There was something very wrong with Jack. She finally curled up beside him, taking his hand in hers. "Please be okay Jack – please."

The next morning Sam insisted that he stay in bed. When he argued that he had to go in to the precinct and report the attack she told him that they'd send someone when he didn't show up. "We'll simply tell them the truth – that you weren't well enough to go in."

"I'm -"

"Don't you _dare_!" she told him, her eyes flashing. "You are _not_ fine. You look like hell and you're still having trouble breathing and I want to know what the hell is going on!"

She was furious, that much was obvious. Jack looked at her and could feel his heart actually start to speed up. Crap – he was actually nervous right now. She was going to have his balls for breakfast over this one! It was only when he saw the intense worry in her eyes, behind the fury, that his fear turned to regret. He sighed and tried to sit up a bit straighter, wishing that what he was about to say would take that worry away. Instead, he knew it was going to make it worse.

"My heart was damaged", he said bluntly, knowing there was no easy way to tell her, "in the initial attack. The doctors did all they could but they just don't have the same level of medical care here and they've told me there's nothing else they can do for me."

"Damaged? How and what does that mean?"

"Uh – you'll have to get the technical details from the doctor but the knife actually cut into my heart. It's affected its ability to circulate the blood properly – it can't keep up and so I sometimes get short of breath."

"The pills?"

"Yeah – they gave me those for when I have an attack – I mean it's not really an attack – but when I find it hard to breathe."

She nodded, looking serious but calm. He hoped that would remain.

"And the prognosis?" she asked bluntly.

"Uh – not – very good", he said softly.

He could hear her breath hitch but she continued to remain composed. "And what exactly does that mean?"

"That – my heart only has so much time before – it fails completely. I'm supposed to do – well, nothing. They want me to sit around on my ass", he tried to laugh although it came out rather strained.

"How much time?" she asked, and this time he could see the tears start to gather in her eyes.

He reached out and took her hand. "I don't know exactly", he told her. "Probably – not long. I've – felt myself getting weaker. I'm so sorry Sam."

The soft sob that came out at that moment pierced his heart and he could feel the tears form in his own eyes. "C'mere", he said softly. She collapsed into him and then the calm, stoic Sam broke into little pieces.

He held her while she cried, not knowing what to do or to say – knowing there really wasn't anything he _could_ do. He gently laid his head on hers, his lips caressing her head. "I'll always love you", he finally said. "Always."


	19. Coming Up

_**Thank you, thank you for the many, many wonderful reviews. I'm so happy people are enjoying this story!**_

_**Beware – extreme tissue warning in this chapter!**_

She was in total Carter mode. He watched her in awe, wondering how anyone could be that brilliant, that focused and that energetic. In fact, it was so much he was finding it exhausting. He knew soon he'd have to stop her but for now it was helping her deal with things.

After she'd found out about his heart she'd been more upset than he could ever remember seeing her. She had cried for what seemed like days, unwilling to leave his side. Then one day, things had suddenly changed. He'd woken up to see her already dressed, sitting at the table with a pad of paper in front of her. She'd looked up and that's when he'd realized she'd gone into THE ZONE.

It was the way she'd looked anytime the Earth was in imminent danger of total annihilation. That, or when one or all of them were about to be zatted or shot or staff-weaponed out of existence. It was almost as if her brain clicked into super-human gear and her brain cells all started working together to find a solution to whatever faced them.

So, she'd decided that in order to save his life she was going to have to find the way back to Earth and then she was going to get him to Janet. If that didn't work, she'd be after the Tokra, the Tollan, the Asgard and any other alien who could possibly help. He'd even heard her muttering about finding a sarcophagus, although he'd put a stop to _that_ train of thought pretty quickly (except he was sure she still had it on her list of WAYS TO SAVE JACK!).

He'd found it endearing and even amusing for the first couple of weeks but now he was getting worried. She barely slept and was in danger of losing her job if she wasn't careful. She was a woman obsessed, and even Mora had commented that Sam was looking pale and tired.

_Tired_? The woman was surviving on determination alone. He sighed. He'd have to put a stop to it soon – even though a small part of him – okay, admit it Jack – a _big_ part of him hoped that she'd find the answer. He really didn't want to die – not now, not when he'd finally found happiness.

He sighed again and rubbed his hand through his hair. That was being selfish and he had to think of her. He had to help her face reality and plan for a future without him. He knew it was going to be hard for her – hard was an understatement – it was going to be hell and he should know. Still, it was up to him to help her face it and understand that he _wanted_ her to go on.

"DAMN!" He heard her curse and slam something down. He frowned and got up from the bed. He'd had to start taking regular naps, which galled him no end. He _hated_ being so weak.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He walked out into the main room, to find her in tears, pieces of paper strewn all over. He frowned and stooped down to pick them up.

"Don't!" she said, scrambling up out of her chair and bending down, sniffling all the while.

He sighed and straightened. He knew he had to take it easy, but he was getting very tired of the fact that she wouldn't let him do anything. He couldn't live like this.

"What happened?" he asked again, when she'd picked up everything.

She stared at him, her eyes huge in her gaunt and shadowed face. He winced, realizing how bad she looked. This had to stop.

"I can't do it", she whispered. "I can't find any information. It's – oh God", she started to cry. "Jack, I can't find it. _Why_ can't I find it? It's here, it's _got _to be here and I should be able to figure it out." By this time the tears were running furiously down her face.

He stepped forward and put his arms around her and pulled her to him. "It's okay Sam, it's okay."

She pulled away, sharply. "No! No it's not okay. I _have_ to find it. I'm going to get you home and everything is going to be fine. I'll keep looking!" She turned towards the table but he grasped her arms and pulled her back.

"No Sam, enough", he said gently. "We've tried for months, using every means we can. It may be there but there's no way of knowing. You've done everything you could and it's time to accept that we're here for good."

"NO! I don't accept that. I _won't_!" She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her, instead holding on to her tightly.

"You have to Sam. Please? For me?"

"For – but I'm _doing _this for you. I'm doing it so we can save your life!"

"Sam – I'm okay, really." He laughed. "My heart might not be in the best shape in the world, but I'm happy. I have you and that's what's important. Look, I don't know how much time I have left, but what I _do_ have I want to spend with you, enjoying our time together. Instead I spend my time resting or watching you kill yourself trying to find something that probably isn't there. Please!" he said again, gently. "I need you Sam. I need you with me and loving me and being with me for however much time we have together. Will you do that for me?"

She broke down again, crying uncontrollably. This time however the tears stopped after a while and he could feel her take a deep breath and stand straight. He pulled back his head to see her looking at him. She looked unutterably sad, but also filled with love. "Okay", she said softly. "I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry", he pulled her to him again and rested his head on her shoulders. "I wanted it too, but we both have to know when it's time to let go – and now is that time. Let's just be happy Sam, okay?"

And they were. For the next few weeks they spent all their spare time together. Although Sam continued to work – he insisted because he knew she'd have to continue to support herself after he was gone – she spent as much time as she could with him.

He found it increasingly hard to do much of anything, which caused him to often feel angry and frustrated, although he learned to keep those feelings to himself. He spent most of his days in the apartment, sleeping while Sam was gone and doing not much more than playing card games or talking to her when she was home.

On days where he felt better they'd venture out for short walks. They took a transport over to the Deneil's one evening and enjoyed talking and laughing with their friends. By the time he got home however, he was exhausted and ended up spending the next day in bed.

He knew his time was increasingly limited, but he refused to think about it. Instead he spent his time alone remembering all the good things in his life, and with her, simply enjoying being together. He didn't tell her, but he also thought a lot about Charlie. It was the only bright spot in the hand he'd been dealt. He would soon see his son again.

Sam seemed to be bearing up under the pressure well. She'd obviously decided that she had to make the most of their time together as well, even though he could see, deep in her eyes, the unbelievable sorrow that she was feeling. He hated that and wished there was something, anything he could do to help.

"Sam", he said to her one evening. "Can we talk for a few minutes?"

She looked at him in surprise and sat down beside him. Talking was just about all they did anymore. "Of course. What is it?"

"I want to talk about – when I'm gone."

"No!" She stood up and started to tidy the kitchen. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Please sweetheart?" he called to her. "I – need to and I think you do too."

Her hands grasped the edge of the counter tightly and she leaned forward, her eyes closed. He could almost sense the battle raging inside of her. Finally, with a deep breath, she stood straight and then turned and walked over and sat beside him. "Okay", she nodded.

He almost laughed, even though it really wasn't funny. She looked like she was preparing herself for her own execution. "Thank you", he said instead. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. This was harder than he thought.

"Sam", he finally said, reaching out and taking her hand. "I don't – have much time left."

He heard the small sob and she pulled her hand back. "Don't _say_ that", she told him angrily.

"But it's true and you know it", he told her gently. "This time together – here on Terra – has been – more wonderful than I could ever have imagined. I knew for years that you were special, but here, together – I found out how truly wonderful you are. I love you so much my darling and the last thing I want to do is to leave you." He reached up and touched her hair softly, gently. "If there was any way -" he swallowed, "but there's not. And you know what? I'm going to die a very happy man for having had the privilege of loving you."

She was biting her lips and her eyes were filled with tears but she continued to listen. "I love you so much", she said, leaning forward so her head rested on his chest.

"And I love you", he told her. After a few seconds he continued. "And that's why I want you to promise me something."

"No", she whispered, knowing what was coming.

"Yes!" he told her, forcing her to sit up and look at him. "And this is an _order_ Major Carter", he told her sternly, but with a smile. "After I'm gone -" he stopped briefly at her sob. "After I'm gone, I know you'll grieve – and that's okay. In fact I'd be kinda upset if you didn't", he grinned but then grew serious. "But after a while – say one hundred days – I want you to stand up straight, and put on that fierce Carter determination, and go on living. I want you to be happy Sam – and you're going to have to make the decision to go for it. You _can't_ spend the rest of your life grieving for an old soldier like me. Remember me with affection – but then find someone else to love and let him love you. Have those children you wanted – and hey, maybe you can even name one after me." He pulled her close when she began to really cry. "I'm sorry – that was kind of -" he stopped. "What I mean is – I want you to be happy. Sam, _I_ can die content knowing that you're going to live again. Hold me in your heart – I'd like that – but allow it to open up and let others in. You have so much to give so please, don't let yourself die with me."

He held her for a long time, rocking her gently as if she was his child rather than his love. He knew the fierce pain she must be feeling, _was_ feeling and he hated it. There was nothing he could do but hope that one day life and light and hope would come again to this precious woman.

"I'll _never_ stop loving you", she said finally. "And I'll _never_ forget you – _never_!"

"Good", he said softly, kissing her forehead. "And I'll watch over you always – even if I'm not here beside you."

She swallowed and sat up, her face blotchy and tear-stained. He could still hear the sadness and grief in her voice, but he also saw her take a breath. "And I'll imagine you watching me and looking out for me", she said. "I just know that you and Charlie will be up there together, getting into all sorts of mischief. Heaven won't know what hit it when the O'Neill boys are together!"

That did it. Suddenly the tears started running down his own cheeks and the anguish rose in his throat. This time it was she who gathered him in her arms and held him close and rocked him as he sobbed out his fear and his grief.

"I don't want to die", he whispered, finally admitting out loud what he was feeling. "I don't want to leave you."

"And you won't", she whispered to herself with determination. It was a good thing Jack couldn't see her at that moment, since she'd gone _beyond_ Carter mode. She was going to find the way home if it killed her.

It was only the next day, after Sam had left for work, that Jack thought back to their conversation and he realized that Sam hadn't made any kind of promise to him. He fretted about it for a while, but then let it go. It was getting harder and harder for him to deal with things emotionally and he knew it was his mind and his body's way of preparing him for what lay ahead. He no longer could do anything to change what was – he could only continue to love her. The rest was up to her.

They were sitting curled up in bed that evening, talking to one another about some of their old missions, laughing at some of the things Daniel and Teal'c had said and done, especially those first few years.

"Do you think Teal'c really _didn't_ know what we meant some of the time, or was he pulling our legs?" Sam asked.

"Good question. I suspect that at the beginning he really didn't but he was a quick learner so some of his later comments were probably his sense of humor talking." Jack laughed, suddenly thinking fondly of 'undomesticated equines'. "I miss them", he said softly.

"Me too. I hope they imagine us safe somewhere and not dead or enslaved by the Goa'uld."

Jack didn't say anything, thinking it was only too likely that they did. "Yeah", he finally agreed. "If I know Daniel, he's bugged Hammond into continuing to look for us."

"I doubt they'll ever give up", Sam agreed. She snuggled more closely into Jack, remembering their time together as a team.

Suddenly, without warning, there was a brilliant flash in the sky. It was so bright that it illuminated their room, even through the blinds.

"What the hell?" Jack sat up in bed and kicked the covers off.

"I'll look", Sam scurried out of bed and pulled the cord for the blinds. There was another flash, followed by two more.

"Is it lightening?" Jack asked, standing up and moving behind her.

"No, I don't – there it goes again. Jack, that's not a natural phenomenon."

"What do you mean?" he looked at her. "You mean we're under attack?"

"Yes, I think so. It looks like some kind of weapons' fire. In fact", she said as another one came, "doesn't it remind you of something?"

"Oh crap – Goa'uld?"

"I think so."

"We're gonna have to let someone know", he said, looking around for his clothes.

"Who? Who are we going to tell – and even if we do, what are they going to do? There's no space program here and as far as I've been able to tell, there isn't any kind of national security system. We're sitting ducks!"

"Wait", Jack looked out the window and watched as more lights came. "Why isn't anything being destroyed?"

Sam looked out and watched as well, a frown on her face. "Remember when we first arrived? They said something about Terra Nova being destroyed but that it couldn't happen here? There must be some kind of defense system over Antigua that's keeping it from being affected."

"Will it hold?" he asked her. Suddenly they were back to Colonel/Major mode – anything else was forgotten.

"I don't know. I don't even know what it _is_. But there has to be someone who does."

"Administrator Salea", he said, snapping his fingers. "We've got to get to her and find out what's going on. Come on, get dressed and let's get moving."

"No", she reached out and stopped him. "You stay here. I'll go." She looked at him in concern, knowing this could be too much for him.

"Sam", he put his hand over hers, where it rested on his arm. "I need to do this. I'll be okay – I promise. I just – I can't stay here, not now."

She regarded him carefully for a moment and then nodded. "Okay, but please, take it easy?"

"I will", he grinned, "Janet!"

She smiled at that. "You better believe it Airman."

They made their way outside, where a crowd was standing watching the light show. People were confused and terrified, not understanding what was happening. Suddenly there was a scream. Sam and Jack looked up to see a man holding a hysterical woman.

"It's them", he shouted. "They're coming to destroy Terra Antigua, just like they did my home. Everyone is going to die!"

"Refugees", Jack said. "We'd better stop this before we have major panic." He stepped forward and took as deep a breath as he could. "Good people", he shouted. "I am assistant Administrator O'Neill – security officer. Please do not panic. Terra Antigua is protected by a – force field." Everyone looked confused so he went on. "There is a shield in the sky, which protects our land. Terra Nova did not have this, which is why it was destroyed. If you look up, you will see that nothing is happening to us. We are safe and will remain so. I suggest you all go inside your homes and relax."

"How can you be sure?" someone called.

"Because no one has ever harmed Terra Antigua", Sam shouted. "It is safe so please, do what the Assistant Administrator said. Standing out here will do nothing."

There was some murmuring and the refugee couple continued to shout dire warnings, but eventually people started returning to their homes. The flashes continued, but they were slowing down. Sam figured the Goa'uld would stop and then try again later.

"If they keep it up they could eventually destroy whatever force field is protecting this place", she said. "I wonder where the controls for it are?"

They managed to find a transport, which wasn't easy due to the panic that affected various parts of the city. They told the driver to take him to the Administrator's house. He tried to convince them it 'wasn't done', but they insisted and after twenty minutes arrived at her home.

"Looks like she's up", Jack commented as they walked up to the front door. The entire building was a blaze of lights and there were other transports parked out front.

They knocked on the door, which was opened almost immediately. The man standing there – a servant by the looks of him – frowned. They obviously weren't who he'd been expecting.

"Who are you?" he asked bluntly. "The Administrator is busy right now and can't see you."

"She has to", Jack informed him, sounding angry.

"We're here about the lights", Sam explained. "We know what's causing them."

The man looked surprised but still uncertain as to whether to let them in. It was Administrator Salea herself who made the decision as just then a door opened and she stepped into the hallway.

"Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter? What are you -" She stopped and nodded. "Of course, I should have known. Let them in Jamos."

Salea indicated another doorway. "Come with me." The two of them immediately followed her into what looked like her study. It was a cozy room with a small couch and two chairs. At her invitation they sat and looked at her.

"You know about this, don't you?" she asked bluntly.

"Well, we think we know who's doing it", Jack answered. "Although not why – at least not why _now_."

The Administrator nodded, her eyes appeared to be focused on something in the distance. "Is it the ancient enemies", she asked softly. "The ones with the glowing eyes?"

"Yes", Sam glanced swiftly at Jack. "You know about them?"

"Yes, of course. It is in our history. They were the ones who brought us here from our home world, Erith. They brought us through the gate to the stars to this new world. For many centuries we were enslaved, but eventually broke free and cast them out. They said that one day they'd return – I fear now is that day."

"But wait – you said this is your history. We've read just about every history book we could find and there was little or nothing about this anywhere. The one thing we could find was presented as a myth." Jack sounded extremely indignant and Sam almost wanted to smile – except it was much too serious for that.

Salea smiled. "It was decided many, many years ago, that it would be better for the people not to know. There was a desire on the part of some to explore our world, to move away to look for new land and opportunity. That was the time that Terra Nova was settled."

"But why didn't they want people to know?" Sam looked at her, a frown on her face.

"Before I tell you", Salea looked at both of them, "you are not from here, are you?"

"No, we're refu -" Sam stopped when the older woman put up her hand.

"You are not from Terra", she said calmly. "We found the vessel you arrived in, a few months ago."

Jack and Sam looked at one another and then back at the Administrator. "Uh – you think – that _we -?"_

She smiled. "I knew there was something different about you both, the moment I met you. I worried that maybe I was making a mistake to let you live amongst us, but there was something – trustworthy about you both. After a few months you seemed to be settling in just fine, and I forgot about you. Then we discovered the craft and I knew – it was close to where you were both found. I made sure that no one put the two together, but I wondered. Now I see that I'm correct. You are from a different world, aren't you?"

Again the two looked at each other. It was Jack who finally faced her and nodded. "We are from your home world", he answered carefully. "The place you call Erith. We call it Earth."

At that Salea's eyes grew big and she covered her mouth with her hand. "My God! You are really from Eri – Earth?" She closed her eyes and a tear escaped. "So, it's true?"

"Yes", Sam said gently. "It's true. The beings who brought you here are called the Goa'uld. They're – parasites who take humans as host bodies. They go from world to world, killing and enslaving the human population."

"My God", Salea said again. "And there is nothing we can do?"

"Oh yeah, there's something we can do alright!" Jack snarled. "We can kick their smarmy little alien butts from here to Netu!"

Sam laughed – loving seeing Colonel O'Neill return. She then looked at the Administrator and explained. "We have been fighting the Goa'uld -"

"And winning", Jack interrupted.

"Yes, and winning – most of the time. That's why we arrived here in the first place. We were almost captured by them and fled in one of their – vessels. Unfortunately, it malfunctioned and we crashed."

"And you cannot go home?"

"We could if we could find the Stargate", Sam said. "That's what we've been looking for, but we haven't had much luck."

"You call it 'stargate' – we call it gate to the stars. It does exist", Salea said, "although exactly where it is has been lost over time."

For a moment there Sam had felt a surge of hope, but that quickly died at Salea's words. "Tell me, why is it that Terra Antigua seems to be protected – and by _what?"_ Sam decided to leave the gate for now.

Salea didn't answer but instead stood and walked to a cupboard on one side of the room. She took a key from around her neck and opened it and then reached in and drew out what appeared to be a very old book.

Returning to her seat she looked up at Jack and Sam. "For many years my people were held in slavery by the evil ones – the Goa'uld as you call them. Then one day – many centuries ago, we were contacted by a being." She opened the book and looked through it for a moment. Without saying anything she handed it across.

Jack took the book and looked down, his eyes growing huge. "Sam!"

"The Asgard", she whispered. There in front of them was a picture of a little alien – looking exactly like Thor. "The Asgard", she repeated to Salea. "They are aliens also, but they are friends of ours. They are a very powerful race and they protect many planets from the Goa'uld."

Salea nodded. "They promised to do the same here. In fact, with the agreement of the Terrans, these – Asgard you call them? They helped us cast out the evil ones. After that, they told our people they would build a shield which would protect our world. They started over Terra Antigua and planned to create one around our whole world."

"But something happened." Jack said, and it wasn't a question. "I expect someone got a bee in their bonnet!"

Salea looked at him with a question in her eyes.

"Uh – someone decided they didn't like having the Asgard help out."

"That is correct", she smiled. "Although I like the 'bee in a bonnet'. I shall remember it. Yes, a small number of our people felt that we had exchanged one master for another, even though I do not believe the Asgard were trying to enslave us."

"They weren't."

She nodded. "But eventually, those few voices won out and the Asgard were told to leave. They had completed only part of the shield and warned that the Goa'uld could attack other parts of our planet. For that reason, we discouraged any travel or even any learning about other places. We wanted our people to be safe."

"Ignorance doesn't bring safety", Jack told her bluntly.

"No, perhaps you are right but unfortunately it is too late to do anything about that now."

"So – the destruction of Terra Nova was caused by the Goa'uld?"

"Yes, we believe so. Some in the government wanted to do something, to protect ourselves more fully. Others believed that we had nothing to fear, that we would always be safe."

"And now?" Jack said, his eyebrows raised.

"It is the same. As long as the shields hold many will believe we have nothing to fear.

"And if they don't hold?"

"Then I am afraid we are lost."

"What about the Stargate Jack?" Sam suddenly asked, looking worried.

"She said they don't know where it is", he answered gently.

"No – that's not what I mean. Look, what if the Goa'uld decide to come through the Stargate to attack Terra Antigua. How do we know the shield was meant to protect from a ground attack."

"Crap!" Jack hadn't thought about that. "But if that's the case, why didn't they attack before? They could have come back any time."

"I don't know. Maybe they thought the Asgard were still protecting Terra and decided to wait. You know the Goa'uld – whichever system lord it was could have been off conquering a thousand other worlds and has only decided to come back now."

"Have there been any records of other attacks?" Jack wanted to know.

"Not that I am aware of", Salea answered. "That is why we are unsure what to do. Do _you_ have any suggestions?"

Sam looked at Jack – no, she took that back – she looked at Colonel O'Neill. "Sir?" she asked him.

He looked at his wife, the woman he loved and at the woman he'd served with for so many years and gave a crooked smile. "I think we need to find ourselves a gate Major Carter – and get some help for Terra!"

Sam grinned and nodded. "One Stargate coming up Sir!"


	20. Scapegoats

"So how do we find this Stargate?" Salea asked, looking first at one of them and then the other.

"There must be records of it somewhere. Have you checked that book carefully?" Sam asked, pointing to the book with the picture of the Asgard in it.

"Yes, I have read it many times. There is nothing which speaks of the gate's location."

"You must have other books", Jack frowned. "This can't be the only record."

"There were once a number of them", the Administrator nodded. "They were kept by the council and rarely if ever opened. A number of years ago – when I was a new Administrator – a professor of history asked to look at them. He began to do research and tell of the gate to the stars, as well as of our history."

"Don't tell me – the council got scared."

Salea smiled swiftly, but then grew serious. "Yes, that is exactly what happened. They warned him to stop speaking of what he found in the books, but he refused. When he began to publish things, they grew very frightened and he was brought in for questioning."

"Great – nothing like governments suppressing the truth!" Jack scowled.

"I agree, and I was very angry, but I was out-voted. At least I was able to ensure that he was not punished for his work. He was threatened though. He was made to retract what he said or else he would have lost his job. He was also told he could no longer publish any of the information in the books."

"We heard", Sam informed her. "You're talking about Professor Jansone, aren't you?"

Salea looked at her in surprise. "You know about him?"

"We found a short passage in one book and followed it up", Jack told her. "We spoke with the Professor's daughter a few months ago."

"I see", Salea nodded. "Well, I'm afraid he was the last to see the books."

"What happened to them?" Sam asked, a frown marring her forehead. "Did the Council take them back?"

"No – it was worse than that", the older woman sighed deeply. "He was made to destroy them. The Council didn't want to take the chance that the knowledge would ever get out again."

Sam closed her eyes, feeling a wave of despair wash over her. It was more of the same – no matter where they looked there was always a dead end.

"Sam", Jack said softly, a strange look in his eye.

"What?" Sam sat up, recognizing the look the Colonel got when a plan was forming in his brain. It was usually a crazy plan – and it usually worked. Salea also looked intrigued, as if she recognized something important was about to happen.

"Professor Jansone was an historian, right?"

"Ye- es."

"And a linguist and something of an amateur archaeologist?"

"Mmm Hmm." Sam tilted her head, wondering where he was going with this.

"And he discovered something about the history of his people – he discovered that aliens were responsible for bringing them here and that these aliens had travelled by means of a Stargate."

"Yes." Suddenly a small smile began to curve her lips. Salea continued to look puzzled.

"And then Jansone was ridiculed by the academic community _and_ his own government. He was accused of teaching myths. Does any of this sound vaguely familiar?"

By this time Sam was grinning. "Daniel!"

"Yes – _Daniel_. And tell me something Carter – if Daniel had in his possession ancient books which gave important facts about the history of a people – especially his _own_ people – do you think he'd destroy them when told to do so by his government?"

"Absolutely _not_ Sir!" she answered, the grin still in place. "Daniel would _never_ destroy books. It would be like – like – destroying his own children."

"Exactly!" Now Jack was grinning. "And I don't think Professor Jansone would either."

"But I saw the ashes and the scraps", Administrator Salea said, sounding confused.

"Do you know they were of the books he'd been told to destroy? Did you see them actually burn and _know_ they were the right ones?"

"No. In fact", she got a faraway look in her eyes, "three of us were to be witnesses to the burning, but when we got there he'd already gone ahead and lit the fire. He told us he wanted to get it over with and have it done. He waited until everything finished burning and then he left. We returned to the Council and told them it had been done."

"So – I'm thinkin' the Professor kept those books and put them somewhere safe – somewhere where the Council couldn't get a hold of them. All we have to do is figure out where."

The three of them sat silently, trying to figure out where the Professor would have put the books. It didn't take long, as all of them came to the same conclusion.

"His daughter has them." Sam was the one to finally break the silence.

"I'd bet my life on it", Jack answered. He shrugged when Sam glared at him for his tasteless joke. "So, let's go over and talk to her."

"No", Sam answered sharply.

"You don't want to talk to her?" Jack asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Of _course_ I do – I just meant that _we're_ not going – _I'm_ going. You're going to rest."

Jack started to argue, but soon realized there was no point. Sam was determined and besides which, he _was _exhausted.

"You can stay here and relax", the Administrator told him. "_I_ will go with her."

"But I thought you needed to talk to the Councilors?" Sam said softly.

"I will tell them I have an errand to run", she said. "I will provide them with food, which should be enough time for us to visit Jansone's daughter. What is her name?"

"Eeda – Eeda Jansone. She is also a professor."

"Good. O'Neill, I will have my servant bring you something to eat as well. I suggest, however, that you do not let the Councilors see you. They are very nervous right now."

Jack nodded and watched as the two women left to – hopefully – go and find the books. His eyes slowly closed as he felt the tiredness overtake him. He hated the fact that he was weak and useless. For the first time death was starting to sound not so bad.

"O'Neill is unwell", the Administrator said bluntly. "I had heard that he was seriously injured in the attack but I didn't realize he was still recovering."

"He's not", Sam answered bluntly, sadly.

Salea frowned. "It was something else that caused this?"

"No – I mean he's not recovering. He's – dying." She couldn't believe she'd actually said it – and prayed that voicing this horrible thing wouldn't cause it to happen. "His heart was damaged and the doctor says he doesn't have a lot of time left."

"Oh my dear." Salea stopped and looked at Sam. She reached her hand out and laid it on the younger woman's arm. "I am so sorry. If there was anything I could do –"

"I know", Sam gave her a small smile. "And thank you – but there's nothing anyone here can do."

"And yet you are working to help us? Why?"

"Because the people of this world have been so welcoming and it has become home to us – at least for now. But I admit there is also a selfish reason. You see, our world has more advanced medical treatment and – some of the other races out there", she pointed up to the sky, "are even _more_ advanced."

"You want Jack to live."

"Of course", Sam smiled. "He's my life. On Earth or with our alien friends – he has a chance. He doesn't have one here."

"I see", Salea smiled and nodded. "Let us go find this gate then and save my world, and your man."

Eeda answered the door and looked angry when she saw Sam. A second later she saw the woman standing beside her and her mouth dropped open. "Administrator Salea! Welcome to my home. But what – I do not understand."

"May we come in Professor?" Salea asked gently.

"Of course, of course." She stepped back and watched as one of Terra Antiqua's most influential people walked into her house. After she seated them in her parlor she looked at the gray haired woman. "What can I do for you Administrator?"

For once Sam was grateful for the Terran's over-emphasis on position and protocol. She suddenly knew that if she'd come by herself, or even with Jack, she wouldn't have gotten anything from the Professor. She prayed Salea would have more luck.

"You can tell me if you have your brother's books", Salea answered gently. "The ones he was to have destroyed."

Sam could see the thoughts flit over Eeda's face. There was shock, and fear and then stubborn determination not to say anything.

"I don't know what you're talking about Administrator. What books?"

"The ones he used for his research on the gate to the stars and the history of our world."

Eeda turned to Sam and glared, obviously believing that she'd told the authorities about the materials she'd given them. Sam worried that she'd refuse to give up any information.

"I didn't say anything Professor", she told the woman carefully. "Administrator Salea knew your father and she's the one who told us about the books."

"Why? Why do you want them?" she asked. "Even if they still existed they are nothing but myths that cloud the mind and turn us from the truth."

"That is not the case Eeda", Salea said to her. "And I think you know that. Those books spoke truth and your father tried valiantly to bring that truth to light, but he was stopped by frightened, powerful men and women. It is time for the truth to again be uncovered."

"But _why_", Eeda asked again. "Why now? What's so important about those books?"

"Did you see the lights last night?" The older woman asked.

"Yes." Eeda frowned. "I don't know what they were but many people are saying we will be attacked like they were on Nova."

"And they are right – unless we can find this gate to the stars that your father spoke of. The lights are caused by the – beings – that brought us here many centuries ago. They have returned and have destroyed Terra Nova and now they plan to destroy and enslave us. We _must_ find the gate – it is our only hope to get help and to stop these evil beings."

"And you think these books – if I had them – would help?"

"We hope so", Sam said. "We know the gate exists, and that it's probably on Terra Incognita, but we don't know where."

Eeda was nodding and Sam suddenly felt hopeful. "Please Professor. We really do need those books. It could be the only thing to save this world."

"And I won't get into trouble?" she asked Salea.

Sam wanted to laugh – although she knew it was mostly because of tension and fear. Here they were talking about being destroyed – or enslaved by alien beings – and Eeda was worried she'd get in trouble with the ruling council. Still, she supposed the one seemed more real to the Professor than the other.

"No, you will not get into trouble", Salea told her. "If you want, I will tell no one where the books came from. In fact, I can say that I kept them locked away all these years."

There were a few moments while Eeda sat, biting her lip and clearly trying to decide what to do. Sam wanted to run over to her and shake her, but she knew that would probably have completely the wrong effect. Instead, she sat waiting, trying to be patient.

"Alright", the Professor stood up. "I will give them to you – but I have your promise I will not be punished."

"Yes, you have my word", Salea answered.

After Eeda had left, the Administrator turned to Sam. "I was worried she wouldn't tell us."

"You and me both! Thank you – she wouldn't have given them to me."

"Probably not", Salea smiled. "Sometimes our – over concern for position can work in our favor."

They waited almost ten minutes before they heard the woman's footsteps return. The books must have been hidden away somewhere safe. She arrived in the parlor, carrying a number of dusty, very old-looking volumes. "Here they are", she said, sounding almost as if she were going to cry. "Please look after them. They were my father's pride and joy."

"We will", Salea told her. "And thank you. This will vindicate your father, you know. He will be honored as he should have been for telling the truth."

"Thank you", Eeda said softly, her eyes awash in tears. "He would have been very proud to hear you. Thank you."

"No, thank _you_. I hope one day to be able to return these, but if not, know you are doing a good thing."

They got back to Salea's house a short time later. When they entered the small study, it was to find Jack sound asleep on the couch.

"He needs to rest", Sam said. "Today was hard on him."

"He can stay – you both can stay – as long as you need. I must get back to the Council meeting – they will be wondering where I am. Please make yourself at home. I will have food and drinks brought in."

"Thank you. I'll just sit here and try and find information on the gate."

After the Administrator had left, Sam walked over and knelt on the floor next to Jack. Every time she looked at him when he was unaware, she realized how ill he truly was. She reached out and gently moved a lone lock of hair off his forehead. "Oh Jack", she whispered, "hold on. We may have found a way home."

Salea walked into the large reception room where the other Council members were seated. As she walked in a hush fell on the room and then everyone started talking at once. She wanted to hold her hands over her ears and run, but knew she couldn't. Right now she really wished she was anywhere else but here.

"Where have you been Teela?" Jadeuz asked peevishly. "We've been waiting and waiting for you!"

"I'm sorry Jadeuz, fellow councilors. Something rather important came up."

"Important? You mean more important that the imminent destruction of our home?" Barus Tarlose was a large man with a temper to match. He was smart, and often was right about many things, but he could also be stubborn and judgmental.

"Do you really believe it's imminent Barus?" she asked him gently.

"Of course it's not", Crisom Mantrac called out. "Don't be ridiculous. Terra Antigua is well-protected. Nothing has happened to us yet, and it's not going to. We are safe."

"How do you know?" Barus threw at him. "Nothing has happened _yet_ – but we do not know what tomorrow will bring."

"Nothing – it will bring nothing but more of today. You are all a bunch of whiners and timid _feilos._ Crisom is correct – nothing has happened to us in the past and it's not going to happen now." Feran Halma was her least favorite Councilor. Although she couldn't prove it, she was sure he was corrupt. He was also arrogant, stupid and a bully.

"Barus is correct. We do not know what might happen tomorrow. Hopefully you are right and our defenses will hold. However you _may_ be wrong, in which case it is better for us to prepare. It would be wrong of us to sit and do nothing."

"I agree", Halma added. "I think we should find out who caused this and make them pay."

"What are you talking about Halma?" Salea frowned. "We know the beings who destroyed Terra Nova are causing this."

"Do we?" Halma laughed. "But maybe they have accomplices. Don't you think they would have been smart to send spies down to find out about us? That way they can determine our weaknesses and we won't be able to fight them."

"There is nothing to indicate any of that is true", Salea said angrily.

"He's right" suddenly exclaimed Mala Erdoyan. "There has to be a spy among us – otherwise how would they know who we are. They wouldn't just come and destroy us without finding out who and what we are first."

"But how can we possibly find a spy – at least in time to stop this attack. I say we should be worrying about the attacks themselves and what we can do to protect ourselves." Salea looked around the room to see if there was anyone supporting her. Of the whole group the only one who would look at her was Barus – all of the others seemed intrigued by the idea of a spy.

There was chatter for a few minutes as Salea tried to figure out how to handle the Council – and the existence of the Stargate. She pondered briefly whether or not it would be better to go without their knowledge and blessing.

"Wait!" Halma suddenly snapped his fingers. "That vessel we found – do we know what it was?"

"The scientists think it was a flying vessel, probably equipped to travel through space."

"It arrived at the same time as the destruction of Terra Nova. I don't believe that was a coincidence", Crisom stated. "In fact, I am certain that whoever was in that vessel was sent here by the evil ones to spy on us."

"The vessel was practically destroyed", Salea answered. "So I doubt they intended to come here."

"How do you know Teela? What else would they have been doing here? And _where did they come from_?"

"What were the names of the two who were discovered close to the vessel? It must be a year ago now – they were brought to the hospital with injuries that were different than those from Terra Nova." Barus thought for a moment and then turned towards Salea. "Didn't you arrange for them to have refugee status? I'm sure of it. You must know who they are Teela. What are their names?"

"What is this", said angrily. "A witch hunt? They _were_ refugees – refugees from Nova. Yes they were hurt, but that's because their boat was blown off course. They are _not_ spies."

"You don't know that", Halma answered, with venom in his voice. "In fact, I believe you knew immediately that they weren't from Nova, didn't you. I've often wondered where your loyalties lie Salea."

"How _dare_ you!" Salea stood and stepped towards the younger Councilor. "How _dare_ you question my loyalty to my home. I have done _nothing_ to harm our world. This is wrong what you are doing. Instead of looking to protect our home, you are off on a chase to capture innocent people and blame them for the attacks. This is wrong", she repeated.

But her words fell on deaf ears. Soon all the councilors were calling for the capture of the two 'alien spys' who had brought destruction to their world.

"We must contact the hospital and find out their names", Halma said, smug in his victory. "Then we will find where they live – unless you wish to tell us Salea?"

"Go to hell Halma. You are a disgrace to your office and to our world."

Halma grinned. "Where is your servant – I'll send him."

"You will not", Salea answered. "If you want to go you must go yourself. None of my household will have any part in this vendetta."

"Fine, but when they are exposed as spies you will go down with them Teela Salea. Your position will no longer protect you from the wrath of your people."

"I will not do what is wrong to save my own skin." She looked around at her fellow councilors, many of whom wouldn't look her in the eye. "I am ashamed to be called Councilor with all of you. One day you will bow your heads in shame for this night's work."

Halma laughed and led the others out of Salea's home. As they exited into the hall she couldn't help but glance nervously at the closed door to her study. She looked up and caught the eye of her manservant. He looked at her blankly and she nodded. Yes, he was loyal. She prayed her other servants were as well.

"You're sure you're not going to change your mind?" Halma asked with a smirk.

"Leave my property and don't ever return", Salea hissed. "I would not have you sully my home."

She watched until all the members of the Council were gone and then, with a heavy heart, returned to the study.

She closed the door softly behind her, but then noticed that Jack was up, reading one of the books.

"Anything yet?" she asked.

Sam smiled. "Yes. Oh, we don't have the exact coordinates yet, but we're getting close. I think we should have everything we need in the next few hours."

"I see." Salea sat down, weary with all that had happened. She opened her mouth to tell this couple the terrible news, when Sam spoke again.

"Administrator? Could we ask that you help us get the materials we need to go to the gate? I would also request a few strong men and/or women to go with me. I'm afraid Jack will have to stay here – but once I've found it I can go through and bring back help almost immediately. Then we can take Jack to get treatment."

Jack grimaced as he listened to Sam talk, but he knew there was no other choice, not really. He hated the thought of her going by herself, or even with people from Terra. As competent as he knew she was, he just didn't feel right about letting her go without him. It didn't feel _safe_.

"I am sorry", Salea rubbed her eyes. "I cannot do that."

"What?" Sam looked at her. "Why not? What's happened? A few minutes ago you were anxious to find the gate and get help. What has changed?"

"That has not changed", she replied. "But", she closed her eyes briefly. "Instead of trying to secure our world and think of options in case of direct attack, the Council has decided to go chasing the ones they feel are responsible for this. They want to capture these alien spies and punish them."

"Alien spies?" Sam looked perplexed. "How do they know there are spies?'

"They don't. It is a way to avoid the real issues so they have made two people scapegoats and are righteously off to find them."

"Two people? Who?" Sam wanted to know.

"You and Jack", Salea said sadly. "They remembered your vessel and that it appeared at the same time as the destruction of Nova. They do not know your names but have gone to the hospital to find out. It will not be long before they discover who you are and where you live. You must not go back to your home."

"But – will we be safe here?" Sam wanted to know. She glanced over at Jack and was disturbed to see him looking as if he was half asleep. "Jack?"

"Huh?" he looked up, his eyes dazed. "I guess we both go", he said.

"What?"

He sat up straight and attempted to take a deep breath. "We both have to go", he told her. "We can't stay here – they'll find us soon. Keep looking in the books Carter. I'll work on what we need to get there." He turned to Salea. "Do you think you can help us get some supplies and a transport?"

"I – probably, although it may be tricky. But you'll need a boat as well. You will have to cross the Gola Strait."

"Okay – let's get working on it. Uh – do you think you could send a message to Traman Deneil? He'll help."

"Are you sure Jack?" Sam asked.

"Yes", he smiled. "I know him and I'm sure he won't betray us. I don't want to get him into trouble though."

"He will not be, that I promise", Salea said fiercely.

Jack wasn't sure if she _could_ promise that, but they were desperate and he had no choice. "Okay. Carter – get looking in those books!"

For the next hour Sam searched while Jack listed all the things they'd need. Administrator Salea looked at him in respect as she realized he knew what he was doing. She'd always known that this couple was different – she'd only realized now that they truly were from a different world.

"Okay, so that leaves a boat", Jack said, rubbing his hands wearily through his short hair. "How in hell are we going to get one – and even if we could find one, how to we get it to this Gola Strait?"

Salea sat there, not knowing what to say. She had no idea what to suggest, but knew that without a way across the water these two were doomed – and possibly so was her world.

The lights had started again as the alien attackers – the Goa'uld, she had been told – began their assault a second time. So far the shield was holding, although they didn't know for how long. There was also the possibility, according to O'Neill, that ground troops could be heading their way. She sighed, and wondered what to do.

There was a tap on the door and all three of the room's occupants looked up, startled.

Teela Salea stood up and opened the door, just a crack. "What is it Jamos?"

"There is someone here to see you Ma'am. A Traman and Mora Deneil."

Salea sagged in relief. "Send them in – and thank you. If anyone else comes by – I have gone to bed."

"Yes Ma'am", he smiled and went to tell the visitors they were welcome.

"Jack, Sam – what are you doing here?" Traman walked in and looked in surprise at his friends. "Are you okay Jack?" he frowned. They all worried about O'Neill and knew he was dying, even though none of them actually spoke about it.

"I'm fine Deneil. Thanks for coming. Uh – Mora – you didn't need to come."

"No, I know, but I wanted to. My mother is visiting so I could leave the children." She looked at their friends and frowned. "What's going on?"

Jack and Sam looked at one another and a silent message passed between them. Finally, with a nod, Jack indicated he was good with telling them the truth.

"Well you see", Sam started, "There's something we have to tell you – and you're going to have trouble believing it."

"But it's true", Jack added.

"We are from a different world. From a place called Earth."


	21. Escape

_**Moving the plot forward a bit in this chapter. More adventure and angst to come in future chapters. Just so people know - I am seriously addicted to reviews and require constant 'dings' on my IPhone telling me I've received one. They provide strength and sustenance to enable me to write quicker and post chapters daily ... just sayin'! (and THANK YOU). Happy Rosh Hashanah to my Jewish readers.**_

"You're joking, right?" Traman looked back and forth between his friends. "You're telling me you're from another _planet_?"

"It's the truth Officer Deneil", Administrator Salea told him. "They are from a world called Earth." She smiled. "Which was also our home many years ago."

"This is crazy", he replied. "You're telling me they're _aliens_. I don't know what this is about, but -"

"They are not lying Traman", he wife said softly. She was looking at Sam and could see the truth in the other woman's eyes. "What is it you need?" she asked them.

"Thank you", Jack smiled at her. "I hate to ask you, but we needed someone we trusted. We need to get some things from our apartment – if the council hasn't already discovered it and then we have to get to Terra Antiqua and find the – uh – gate to the stars – the Stargate. That way we can bring help and protect Terra from the aliens who are attacking us."

"It really is an attack?" Deneil was looking confused and still unsure whether he believed what they'd been told. "Are we in danger?"

"You could be", Sam told him. "We don't know if the defense shield will hold."

Mora gasped and looked at her husband. "The children!"

"That's why we need your help Mora", Sam said. "To protect your children and all the citizens of Terra. We hoped Deneil might be able to help us get the things we needed to make it to the gate."

The Terran couple looked at one another and finally Deneil nodded. "Okay – we'll help if we can. But Mora you need to go home and be with the children. I'll go and bring your things and then stay and help."

"I think it would be a good idea to take the children and go visit relatives", Jack told them. "The Council may find out about you and it's best if you're away from home. Later you can simply claim you were frightened by the lights and wanted to be closer to family."

Mora hugged Jack tightly. "You take care of yourself, you hear! And look after Sam."

"I will, don't worry." He gave her a hug back. "And _thank you_! You're a good friend."

"And I'll always be one, even if we live on different planets!"

When Sam hugged her both women got tears in their eyes. They didn't say much, but both knew it would probably be the last time they'd ever see each other.

"Take care of yourself and that husband of yours", Mora said, sniffing softly.

"I will – and don't worry – we'll do everything we can to stop this." Sam hugged her again. "I'll miss you!"

"Me too." Mora stepped back and regarded her friends. "I'll miss you both! When you are back on your planet and Jack is all healed, don't forget us."

"Never", Jack smiled.

There was another round of hugs and then Deneil and Mora were gone. They waited mostly in silence for Traman to return. Hopefully he'd be in luck and the Councilors wouldn't have discovered their home as of yet. It was risky for him to go, but their neighbors knew him and wouldn't be worried - and he could be in and out very quickly.

It was almost an hour later before there was a knock and the Administrator stood up. "Jamos will answer it. If it is not Officer Deneil he will not let whoever is there come in."

There was a short moment of silence and then they heard footsteps approach their room. They all let out a sigh of relief when the door opened to show Deneil, a large bag in his hands.

"No one had been to your apartment as of yet", he said. "Don't worry", he held up his hand at Jack's worried look. "I made sure that no one was following me. Here", he walked over and laid the bag down. "Your things."

"Thank you!" Jack leaned forward and opened the bag and began to pull out their weapons and some of the things they'd had in their packs when they'd landed on Terra, including the crystals."

"What _are_ those things", Deneil nodded at the items. "Are they from this – Airth you speak of?"

"Yes – these things are weapons", Jack showed him the P-90 and a zat, "and the other stuff is a variety of things we had with us." He lifted his Air Force survival knife and smiled. "And this is my knife!"

"You really were soldiers?" Deneil asked. "Ones who fought others?"

"Well, mostly we travelled around and explored, although sometimes we fought. But yes, we were soldiers."

"And you miss this life?" Traman asked, looking at his friend.

Jack regarded him for a moment. "I miss – my friends, my world – but I don't miss fighting." He then smiled. "And anyway, I had enough of that here on Terra."

Traman laughed. "That is so. But – you are glad to be going back?"

Again Jack paused. "It is our home", he said, but then continued. "But there is much I will miss here. It has been a good life here Traman, and much of that was because of you and Mora. You are good friends and helped us feel at home."

"That's true Traman", Sam nodded as well. "You and Mora – helped more than you will ever know."

"Even when I was so mean to you", he said with a crooked grin.

"Well, some of that I deserved – and you were only watching out for Jack. How could I be mad at you for that?"

"I will not be able to look out for either of you once you leave", he said, a worried frown on his face.

"No – you will then return to your family and look after them. You will have done enough my friend!" Jack looked over at the man who had become like a brother to him. For the first time it dawned on him that Traman's name reminded him of an amalgam of O'Neill and Daniel. He should have known from the beginning that that meant this was a man who would come to mean a lot to him. "So, now what?"

"So, let's figure out what we need." Deneil took a deep breath and obviously attempted to throw off the somber mood that had descended. He sat down and pulled Jack's list towards him. "These things won't be a problem", he said as he looked at a number of the items, "and I even think I can get you a transport. The boat is going to be difficult."

They spent the next hour working out where Deneil would get the supplies and how and when they'd start for Terra Incognita. How to get across the water was still a problem, which none of them could seem to solve.

"If only we knew someone with a boat", Sam said in frustration. "I mean, there has to be _someone_ who owns one."

"Yes, but they are on the wrong coast", Deneil pointed out. "We need to get to Incognita, not Nova."

"Wait a second – how far is it to the Gola Strait from here?"

"From here? About three hundred kilometers", Deneil told her. "It should only take a few hours in a transport."

"And how far to the east coast – the coast with Nova?"

"It is closer – maybe one hundred kilometers."

"So, the land mass between the east coast and the Gola strait can't be that great."

"Sam – what are you thinking?" Jack new her brain was again moving at lightning speed and he wanted to smile seeing her so much in her element again.

"That we sail around the coast of Antigua until we get to the Gola Strait. Where's the map?" She reached out among all the papers and grabbed the map of Terra Antigua and Terra Nova. "See, if we get a boat from somewhere here", she pointed to the eastern coast which faced the Nova side, "and sailed it north and then west right around the Antigua peninsula, we arrive at the Gola strait. We can then sail straight across to Incognita."

"It's possible", Deneil said, looking at the map. "It still doesn't solve the problem of getting a boat."

"No – but you said yourself there are people who have boats on the east coast. Why couldn't we simply go and get one?"

"You mean _steal_ one?"

"Well, yeah", Sam grimaced. "I wouldn't ask you to do that, but it won't really matter if Jack and I do – not as long as we leave Terra. Look", when Deneil looked hesitant, "we're doing it for your planet. If we can make it through the gate …"

"I know, I know. Just – don't say anymore or I'll have to arrest you", he gave a lopsided grin. "So, that means we have to make it to the coast somewhere down here. I think the best place is to go to Koraya, which is right about – here", he pointed with his finger. "It's something of a resort and there should be pleasure boats there."

"Okay – so we get the boat, we sail it to Incognita and then we walk." Sam looked down at the information she'd written on the most likely gate location and frowned. "It's a long walk", she whispered, looking up at Jack.

He shrugged and grinned. "Don't worry, I'll make it."

They all knew that it was highly unlikely that Jack could walk the hundreds of kilometers needed to get to the Stargate. They'd have to go slowly and none of them believed they had that long – not if the Goa'uld kept up their attack.

"There has to be another way", she cried, slamming her hand down on the table.

"Sam!" he reached over and took her hand. "I'll _make_ it."

"No – no you won't", she said, her voice quavering. "Maybe it's best if you do stay here and I go alone. Even if they capture you, they won't hurt you and I can bring help."

"No way", Jack shook his head. "I'm not chancing it _and_ I'm not letting you go by yourself."

"I'll go with her", Deneil stated grimly.

"No you won't", Jack shook his head. "You have a wife and family you need to look after. Look, isn't there some kind of vehicle we can use – like a motorcycle or something? We could take that over on the boat and use it when we got to Incognita."

"That's brilliant Jack", Sam exclaimed, staring at him in wonder.

"Hey, I can be brilliant occasionally", he smirked, causing her to laugh.

"What is a moto- saykole?" Traman looked at them in confusion, as did Salea.

"It's a vehicle – with only two wheels. It's – here", Sam grabbed a piece of paper and quickly sketched it out. "There", she showed the paper to the two Terrans. "Do you have anything like that?"

They both looked at it and then shook their heads. "No, I have not seen anything like it", Salea told them. "Have you Officer Deneil?"

"No", he shook his head as well, although he had an arrested expression on his face. "No, I have not seen anything like this, however I am thinking of something that might work." He looked over at Salea and grinned. "What about a traxet?"

"A –" Salea laughed and Jack and Sam looked at her in surprise. They hadn't heard much laughter from her. "That's possible, although where could we get one at this hour?"

"I know a man who rents them and he – uh – owes me a favor. No, no", he exclaimed when the others looked at him curiously, "I didn't do anything wrong. His son was being bullied by some kids at school and I spoke to them." He grinned. "I put the fear of god into them! According to Samor they didn't bother his son anymore after that."

Jack laughed and sat back. "Okay, so what the heck is a traxet?"

"We – ell, it's a small transport."

Salea snorted but only shook her head when Jack looked at her. "He can explain."

"Deneil?"

"It _is_ a - small transport, like I said. It's used to teach beginners how to operate a vehicle. It is much smaller than a real transport. At the most it holds two people and it's not terribly fast -"

"You can say _that_ again", the Administrator chortled. "It's basically a baby transport – and no, I don't mean for babies. It's in miniature and used for beginners. People also sometimes take their children to drive them and they can also rent versions of them when their children are old enough to learn to operate a transport. They're considered less dangerous."

"How come I've never seen one", Jack frowned.

"Because they're not driven on the roads. You have to go to a special track to drive them."

"Oh my god", Sam laughed. "They sound like go-karts."

"You mean to tell me we're going to head to the gate in a go-kart?" Jack looked horrified.

Deneil laughed. "It will be a tight fit O'Neill, but at least you won't have to walk."

The moment of levity cheered everyone up, although Jack was not looking forward to the trip. He would have raised more of a fuss except for two reasons: one, he knew it would make Sam feel better if they had a way to travel that wasn't walking and two, he really didn't think he _could_ walk for that distance. So, a go-kart it was. He grimaced when he thought about how squished he was going to be.

"Okay, so how do we get the go-kart – ur Traxet - from here to the coast, and will it fit on a boat?" He looked at his co-conspirators and saw their brain cells all working furiously. He rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He really didn't think he could do much more tonight.

"Jack. _Jack!_" He jerked awake, lifting his head and trying to open eyes that felt like they were permanently glued shut.

"What? What?" He looked around, to see only Sam sitting with him. "Where are Deneil and Salea", he asked, looking around the room.

"You've been asleep for almost two hours", she explained. "Someone came by a few minutes ago and the Administrator is talking to him. I think it's one of the Council members", she said quietly, looking worried. "Traman went to start collecting the things and getting the traxet."

"Did you discover how we were going to get it to the coast?"

"We think so", she smiled. "But don't worry about that for now. Administrator Salea had some food sent in. You need to eat."

"So do you", he told her, pulling himself upright and leaning forward to take a plate of food. He watched Sam closely and noticed the tension around her eyes – and the tiredness. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah", she smiled. "I'm feeling a bit rusty though. I hope we've remembered everything we need."

"Don't worry", he reached out and put his hand on her knee. "We've got everything covered we can – and as for being rusty – hell, a _rusty_ Samantha Carter is better than 99% of anyone else. I have complete confidence in you."

"What about you Jack?" she asked, looking at him with piercing eyes. "How are you holding up?"

"Me? I'm fine. I'm – look the rest helped and I've been sitting on my butt all day. I'll be just fine Sam, especially since we'll be riding in a – small – transport."

"A go-kart you mean", she grimaced. "God, I hope this is going to work."

"It _will_ work Major", he said sternly. "Sam, look at me."

After a few seconds she lifted her head and focused on him. She was transported back, for a moment, to that freezing cave in Antarctica.

"Sam – we _will_ make it home. We are going to get out of here."

"Is that an order Sir" she said with a faint smile.

"Of course it is Major – and If you disobey me ….!"

"You'll put me on report?"

"You bet your sweet ass I will Major!" he barked. A moment later he was hugging her and whispering softly in her ear. "We really will make it Sam. Please, have faith."

"The Council knows who you are", Salea announced as she walked in, closing the door behind her. "That was Barus. He is an arrogant ass, but he is honest. He wanted to tell me, he said, so that I could exercise caution. He made it sound as if he was warning me against you – but I think he really suspects that I know where you are. I don't think he is suspicious you are here, but I think it's time you leave. I may end up having them return to search my house."

"Nice bunch", Jack told her.

Salea shook her head. "They are too complacent. They have never really weathered a crisis before and now – when they could stand and do what's right – they look for scapegoats. When this is over I think I'm going to resign."

A few minutes later Jamos let Deneil in. He walked into the room with only a small sack and they all looked at him in disappointment.

"Hey", his eyes scittered around the room. "Why so glum?"

"Didn't you get all the supplies?"

"Of course I did Jack – oh man of little faith. They're in the traxet. I also took your weapons and other supplies there."

It was only then that Jack realized they're things were gone. He cursed to himself – he really wasn't at his best. "And where is this traxet?" he asked.

Deneil grinned. "It is parked down the street. Unfortunately, you will have to walk there."

"Great", Jack shook his head. He was sure the Council would be watching Salea's house by now and getting out would be a bugger.

"But not as yourselves", Traman said. "I've brought some disguises." With a flourish he turned the sack upside down and out fell a tangle of fabric. He spent a few seconds separating everything and then handed Jack a stack of clothing. "Go put that on. Administrator Salea, Sam will also need a place to change."

She nodded. "Come Samantha, you can come with me. You probably feel like cleaning up a bit anyway."

A few minutes later, Jack and Sam stood before the two Terrans, who were nodding their heads.

"No way", Jack shook his head. "Over my _dead body_!"

"But no one will recognize you and that's what's important." Deneil coaxed. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"Okay, then _you_ wear the damn thing!" Jack stood there dressed in a – dress. That, along with a gray-haired wig, a purse and shoes, made him out to be a rather homely woman. "I'm huge", he said. "No one's gonna think I'm a woman."

"They will if you round your shoulders and bend down a bit. And look, there's a cane. You'll just look like a tall, thin old woman. I think this costume is great", Sam exclaimed. "You just need a bit more make-up -"

"No! No way. I will not wear make-up." He then looked at Sam and groaned. "Why do you get to look cute and I get to look like an idiot?"

"I'm naturally cute?" Sam said in reply.

"Oh – and does that mean I'm naturally an idiot?"

She grinned and didn't say anything, but stood in front of him dressed as a security officer, resplendent in a uniform complete with hat, which adequately covered her long-ish blond hair.

"Officer Carter will escort you O'Neill", Deneil told him. "You are an old lady who has trouble walking and is all crippled up with swollen joints. She will take you down the street until you come to a security transport truck. You are carrying supplies to the coastal precinct. O'Neill, when you are at the edge of the city you must get into the back and hide in case the transport is stopped. Sam, Jan Overlaw is waiting there and he will drive you to the coast. You are his fellow officer, Daron Smythe. Can you pretend to be a man?"

"Of course", she said, her voice deepening. "It will be dark so hopefully I'll pass."

"Here", Traman handed her some papers. "These are official papers giving you permission to travel."

Sam glanced at them and frowned. "But they've been signed by Administrator Rallay." She glanced up at Deneil.

"What can I say – Rallay and the men of the precinct all stand behind Jack – and you. In fact, some of them are out there now looking for Jack on behalf of the Council."

"What? But you said they would stand behind him."

"They are looking in all the wrong places", he grinned. "They are also getting a number of reports that a man answering Jack and your descriptions was seen heading north. Someone said that there was a cabin up there, in the mountains, and that the two of you often went there to get away. The majority of the forces are being deployed on the northern roads and some to the west. They do not suspect that you will go east."

Administrator Salea laughed. "I see we'll have to watch our security forces – in the future", she said. "You have many friends here", she said to the two of them.

Jack and Sam were both overwhelmed at the display of confidence and friendship that they were being shown, but not they knew it was time to go.

Jack stood up slowly, feeling old and stiff and wondering if he was actually going to make it. Sam reached out and took his hand and then they both looked at their friend.

"I – don't know what to say Traman", Jack said softly. "Other than you are my friend – my brother – and I will never forget you."

Traman looked sad. "I won't forget you either Jack. Who knows – maybe one day you'll come back and we can get together again, the four of us."

"I'd like that", Jack told him, putting out his hand. Traman looked at it briefly, then he reached out and pulled Jack into a hug.

"Be safe my friend and get yourself back to your Airth."

"Thank you", Jack rested his head, for a moment, on his friend's shoulder. "You be safe too – look after those kids of yours and give Mora a hug for me." He finally let go and stepped back.

"Thank you", Sam said, also giving him a hug. "You are a true friend."

"Now go, the two of you, before the Council figures out that you aren't in the mountains!"

With a smile Jack and Sam thanked the Administrator and then, with one more goodbye to Traman, they left.

"So – here starts our next mission", Jack said softly as they walked down the street.

"Yes. To the Stargate and home."

Jack nodded. "To the Stargate – and home."


	22. Incognita

They walked in silence, going slowly to keep up the appearance of Jack being an old woman. Sam had her arm through his, making it look like she was helping him – or, he guessed, it would look like _he_ was helping _her._

Jack snorted in disgust. He couldn't believe he was actually dressed like a woman, making a late night escape. It was something out of a novel, a particularly bad one, he decided.

He heard a soft sound coming from beside him, and glanced at Sam, to see her biting her lip. He frowned. Was she okay? "Sam?"

"What?" she gasped in a strange voice.

"Are you ok – wait, are you _laughing_?"

She made the noise again and curled both lips inside her mouth, clamping down on them ruthlessly.

"You are. You are _laughing_ at me Major Carter."

"Well", she gasped, "it's just that you look like _such_ a sweet old lady!" She gurgled – trying to keep the laugh from escaping.

"Hah!" he said scornfully. "You're enjoying this. Just wait Carter – I'm gonna get you back for this!"

She turned to him, her eyes shining and suddenly filled with tears. He squeezed her arm, realizing that his words had given her hope that they'd get out of this, and that he'd survived. "You'd better not say anything about this to Daniel or Teal'c when we get back", he continued. "They'd never let me live it down."

"What about Major Ferretti?" her laughter barely contained.

He stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. "You will _not_ tell Ferretti, and that's an order Major. Daniel and Teal'c are bad enough. He'd – God, just don't ever tell him."

* * *

Daniel was staring out of the window, looking at the silent Stargate. He'd been called to the Briefing room by Hammond, although the General hadn't yet arrived. He'd been working in his office on some artifacts that Sg7 had just brought back and had been immersed in translation when he'd gotten the call from Walter.

The Sergeant's voice had sounded normal, so Daniel didn't think it was either bad news, or good. It probably had to do with some new mission or something they wanted him to look over.

He continued to stare at the Gate, wondering, for perhaps the ten thousandth time, what had happened to his friends. Unlike Teal'c and Janet, his hope had started to die months ago. Now, it was just a tiny seed, barely noticeable in his heart. He knew it wouldn't take much to kill it completely but he refused to quite let it die, for it would also take little to make it grow.

He sighed and turned around, to see Teal'c standing in the doorway, looking at him somberly. "Are you alright Daniel Jackson?"

"I'm fine Teal'c", he smiled. "Just looking at the Stargate. I don't often just - _look_ at it."

Teal'c nodded. "It is strange, is it not, that something so wondrous becomes – normal – after a certain time and can lose its magic."

"Oh, I don't know. I still think of it as pretty magical."

"You have not allowed the wonder and the mystery to die?"

Daniel turned and looked again at the ring of metal. Teal'c was right – it was a part of his life now, a _normal_ part and yet – he studied it carefully. It still made his heart beat faster and his mind to want to explore and to find new things. In fact, rather than losing its magic, the more he went through the Gate, the more magical it became.

"No, no I haven't. I guess I still believe in it Teal'c."

"Then you must also continue to believe in O'Neill and Major Carter. They are out there and one day they shall walk through that Gate", he nodded down at the Naquada ring. "It will perform its magic by returning them to us."

Daniel looked at his friend, at the honesty and the surety he saw in the Jaffa and finally nodded. "I guess I can do that Teal'c."

"Gentlemen." Hammond's voice startled Daniel and he turned to see the General walk into the room. "Oh, and Dr. Frasier, hello." At that moment the good doctor also arrived, looking questionably at the others.

"Please have a seat people. We're waiting for one more guest and then we'll get started."

It was only a few brief seconds later when there was a flash of light and Thor appeared. Daniel could feel his heart start to beat faster, although at Hammond's calm look he felt himself deflate a bit. If Jack and Sam had been found the General would look quite different.

"Greetings General Hammond, Dr. Jackson, Dr. Frasier, Teal'c." Thor nodded his head at each of them and then made his way to a chair held out by the General. Hammond looked rather like he wanted to reach down and lift the little alien up like a child, but Thor managed to hop into the chair on his own.

"Thank you all for taking the time to see me. I felt it was time I gave you a status report on my search for Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."

"We assume you haven't found them", Janet said calmly, although the tension around her eyes belayed her seeming serenity.

"Unfortunately, I have not", Thor answered her. "I am sorry."

"And you're here to tell us you can't look anymore, isn't that it?" Daniel asked quietly. He'd actually been expecting this for a long time and was surprised at how long Thor had kept looking. It was a measure of the liking and respect he had for Jack – oh, and Sam too.

"That is partially correct, Dr. Jackson. I may have to cease looking for a short time, but I will return to my search afterward."

"Really?" Daniel blurted, sounding surprised. "How come the High Council is letting you look for so long – not that I'm complaining of course."

Thor blinked a few times and if Hammond hadn't known better, he would have thought that Thor was looking uncomfortable. It suddenly dawned on him that the Commander may not have told the Council the complete truth.

"I am able to continue to search while carrying out other duties", Thor answered. "The Council is satisfied as long as I continue to monitor those planets that are protected by the Asgard."

"For what reason are you stopping the search at this time", Teal'c wanted to know.

Thor turned to him and explained. "We have had a report that the Goa'uld have attacked a planet that was formerly under our protection. Although the people of that planet asked us to leave and informed us they no longer needed our protection, we are concerned and I have been asked to ensure the people of the planet are safe."

"Will you intervene?" Dr. Frasier asked with a frown. She hated the thought of the Goa'uld attacking innocent people and no one doing anything to help.

"Only if the people of the planet request it", he informed her. "Our people have strict laws against interfering unless at the request of a planet."

"Why didn't they want your protection in the first place?" Daniel wanted to know. He was trying not to think about the fact that this was putting a stop to the search for Jack and Sam. A part of him resented the planet in question, but even allowing that thought to enter his mind made him feel guilty.

"Initially they did. When they began to expel the Goa'uld we offered our help, which they gladly accepted. We even began to build a shield around their planet which would keep any enemy away. Before we finished we were asked to leave. Many on the planet believed they had exchanged one conqueror for another. We tried to explain, but they would not listen to us so we left."

"And now the Goa'uld are attacking?" Hammond wanted to know. "Do you know why? I assume it's been a long time since they left"

"It has been many centuries", agreed Thor. "We do not know the reason why they have returned. The Goa'uld do not always need a reason."

"Their memories are long", Teal'c jumped in. "If a system lord was cast off from a world he considered his, he would nurse his anger for a long, long time, planning to eventually return."

"To do what?" Janet asked.

Teal'c turned towards her. "To destroy it."

* * *

"Officer", the voice behind them startled both Jack and Sam and they stopped. Jack kept his head down but Sam straightened and slowly turned.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice low. She thanked heavens that it had grown dark and it would be difficult to see either her or Jack clearly.

"I am Administrator Halma", the man said. "I need your assistance. We are looking for a refugee and I need you to come and help search that house." He pointed towards Administrator Salea's house.

"I am very sorry Administrator, I would be pleased to help but I am under orders to take this lady home. Afterwards I can return, but now I must go."

"_I_ am giving you an order", Halma said angrily. "She can make her own way home."

"With all due respect Sir", Sam answered calmly, "I take my orders from my superior. Besides which, I am _not_ going to let an elderly lady, who is not well, make her way home alone. She is the mother of Administrator Holtek and I am under very specific instructions to get her safely to her house."

Administrator Holtek was one of the chief justices and as such was one of the most influential men on Terra – and his name carried a lot of weight.

"Oh – my apologies Officer, I didn't know." Halma backed off, literally as well as figuratively, although he was obviously still angry.

"That's alright Sir. I'd be happy to return after I drop Madam Holtek off at her house."

Halma waived her away. "It'll be too late by then. I'll get someone else." On that note the Councilor turned and headed back towards Salea's. Jack and Sam watched for a moment and then turned towards the waiting transport.

"I thought we were in for it for a moment there", Jack said softly. "Well done Major."

"Thank you Ma'am", Carter sniggered, although truth to tell her heart was still racing. That had been close.

"So, does Administrator Holtek _have_ a mother?

"Everyone has a mother Colonel", she answered, sounding totally unruffled. Then she grinned. "Although I think she's been dead for a long time. Holtek is over eighty."

Jack stopped and stared at her, causing Sam to almost break into laughter. He was giving her his 'I can't believe you just did that Major' look, while looking at her in a dress.

"I suggest we move it Major. I suspect that Halma will remember that before too long."

They got to the transport and Jan hopped out, looking worried. "I saw Administrator Halma and thought you were in trouble."

"Sam lied to great effect, although I suggest we get out of here quickly."

Jan nodded and helped Sam get Jack into the front. The transport – which looked similar to an Earth truck – was quite high off the ground and it was a bit difficult for him to maneuver in a dress. He refused to think about his weakness as also being a hindrance.

After they'd driven for a few blocks, both Jack and Sam felt somewhat relieved, although they knew there was a long journey ahead of them and things could still go wrong. Jan kept glancing at Jack and grinning.

"You look very nice Sir", Jan finally told him.

"Piss off!" Jack scowled. "And don't you _dare_ tell anyone."

"Of course not Sir", the other man said, the smirk sounding loud and clear in his voice. Jack knew this story would be broadcast far and wide after he was gone.

He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes. He was tired, although not nearly as bad as he thought he'd be. Must be the adrenaline, he decided. That – and the idea of going home was giving him strength. On that thought he fell asleep.

Sam looked at him sitting next to her, sound asleep, and felt her heart swell with love for this man. She couldn't help but grin at the picture he made in his dress. She wished she had a camera. Her grin suddenly faded as she thought about what lay ahead. She prayed they would make it.

"I think it's time for Assistant Administrator O'Neill to get in back", Jan told her softly. "We may be coming to road blocks and it is best he be hidden.

"You _can_ call me Jack you know", the man in question rumbled, sitting up straight. "So, you're gonna stuff me in back are ya?"

"Yes Sir", Jan grinned as he pulled into an alley. "You'll probably be more comfortable there anyway."

"Right", Jack grimaced. After the transport stopped he got out, again needing help. "Damn dress", he muttered. "Can I take it off now?"

"I think so", Jan nodded. "If they do find you it will be all over anyway."

"Thank God!" Jack stripped off the dress and then rolled his pants and shirt sleeves down. He scrubbed his face with his hand and handed everything to Jan. "We should probably just leave it here somewhere", he instructed.

"If you need anything, just knock on the back of the driver's compartment", Jan told him. "There is food and drink in there, as well as a – uh – container for – you know."

"Right – good idea. You'll be okay?" Jack looked between Jan and Sam. "You won't take any unnecessary risks?"

"No, of course not. I'll watch out for Mrs. O'Neill, Sir, don't worry."

"I won't Jan", he slapped the other man on the shoulder. "Thank you." He turned to Sam. "And _you_ – be good. Don't do anything reckless, okay?"

"_You're_ the one who does reckless Sir", she informed him. "_I'm_ the steady, brainy one, remember?"

"Right." Jack grinned and moved towards the back. He managed to climb up into the back of the truck to find a strange looking vehicle sitting there. "Hey Carter", he called. "It's our go-kart!" Jan then showed him the secret compartment that was built into the inside panels of the transport. It looked like it was simply part of the driver's compartment, but inside was a mattress with blankets, a small recessed shelf with food and water bottles and an empty jar with a lid. All the comforts of home.

He managed to crawl in and make himself comfortable. He gave a small wave to Jan and Sam and then watched as the door was closed. He had a moment of panic as the dark settled in, but after a minute the transport started and he forced himself to relax. He might as well sleep until they got there. With that he closed his eyes and was out in seconds.

"I hope he'll be okay", Sam worried as the transport started up. "It's awfully tight in there."

"Cozy", Jan told her. "Don't worry, he'll be fine. This will allow him to sleep much easier."

"You're right", she sighed. "I just – worry about him."

"He will be fine. He is a stubborn one."

Sam laughed and felt a bit better. They'd always made it in the past so why should things be different now?

They were stopped twice on the way to the coast, but the letter from Rallay seemed to do the trick. At the second stop the officer had recognized Jan, which had made it even easier.

"They're pretty sure the fugitives went west", the officer told them, "but we have to check anyway."

"Do you know what they did?" Jan asked casually. He knew that either too much, or too little curiosity could be suspicious.

"They're saying they're behind the attacks on Nova and now they're causing the lights over Antigua. I don't see how that could be though.

"They don't know who they are?"

"No, although I heard they were pretending to be refugees. The Council was still looking to find out their names, last I heard." The officer laughed. "It'll turn out that really will be just refugees, poor buggers. Still, the Council wants them found so that's why I'm spending my night standing in the middle of the road stopping traffic."

Jan wished the officer good luck, said goodbye and they continued towards the coast. He seemed to know where he was going, so Sam stayed silent, thinking about the trip ahead.

"Here we are", he finally said, pulling up close to what looked like a marina. Everything was dark, although there was a soft red glow in the distance – some kind of security light Sam decided. "Let's go get a boat."

"You're not going to help us." Sam said, surprised. "You could lose your job, and even go to jail. Let Jack and I do it."

Jan grinned. "Don't worry. We don't actually have to steal one", he told her.

"We don't?" She looked slightly confused. "Why not?"

"Because my cousin owns a boat and we're going to simply borrow it. Come on, let's get moving."

"Your _cousin's_. But won't he mind?"

"Not if he doesn't know about it."

"But he'll find out eventually and I don't want you to get into trouble, either with the law or with your cousin."

"Look Sam – can I call you that?"

"Of course."

"I trust O'Neill – probably more than anyone I know. Traman explained everything to me and I want my wife and children to be safe too. And I know if you and Jack can make it to this Gate of yours, and you bring help – well, we'll all be okay. Just take care of each other."

Sam regarded him with eyes that filled with tears and a smile of gratitude. She leaned forward and gave him a fierce hug. "Thank you. You don't know what this means!"

"I do – it means you're going to save Terra."

As she climbed out of the transport she had a momentary feeling of panic. They were counting on her to save their planet. What if she couldn't? No, what if _they_ couldn't. Even with Jack unwell he'd be a formidable force, but was it enough.

"Well it's about time", the Colonel groused when Jan opened the door. He managed to push himself out of the cubby hole and stand up, stretching slightly. "That feels better. I was starting to feel claustrophobic in there!"

Sam looked him over carefully and although there wasn't much light, she thought he looked better. The couple of hours in the transport had given him a chance to rest. He was going to need it.

"We have a boat", she told him quickly. "Jan is – lending - us his cousin's boat."

"Uh and does your cousin know he's doing that?"

"Well, not exactly", Jan grinned. "So, you'd better make sure I get it back O'Neill", he growled, although his lips quirked up slightly. "Come on, it's going to be dawn shortly and we need to get you away."

He led them down to the marina and opened the gate with his key. They walked down one of the docks and stopped at a sleek looking craft.

"Are you sure - ?" Sam asked hesitatingly.

"Of course", he grinned again. "Let me get her going here while you go and bring your supplies down." When Jack turned to go with Sam, Jan called to him. "Could I get your help Jack?"

O'Neill turned around suspiciously but nodded, moving over to the other man. "What do you want me to do?"

Within moments Jan had him doing a bunch of small jobs to get ready for the sail. He then sat him down and explained the operations of the boat. It seemed to Jack to be a hybrid of a sail boat/motor boat, with some of the elements of both. He worried about fitting the traxet on board, but Jan seemed to think it wouldn't be a problem.

After everything was loaded and the boat was ready to sail, they three of them walked to the transport to pick up the traxet – the small go–kart they were going to use to drive on Incognita.

"There's extra fuel in the back", Jan explained, "although it doesn't take much to operate so you should be able to go pretty far on one tank. There's a repair kit in there as well and we've provided a week's supply of food and water, emergency equipment and a bunch of other things. Traman said you had weapons?'

"Yes, we do. Jan thank you. This is great." Jack looked at the traxet and sighed. "Do you really think I'm going to fit into this thing?" he asked.

"Why don't you find out", Jan grinned. "We need to take it down to the boat, so go ahead and drive it."

Jack stared at it briefly, but then grinned. "Okay, if you insist."

Sam rolled her eyes, but watched as Jack folded his long body into the small driver's seat. Fortunately, the leg room was reasonable, although he looked rather funny sitting in the small car. He spent a few minutes figuring out the controls and the next thing they all knew, he was driving furiously down to the marina.

"He's going to crash", muttered Sam nervously. When he managed to drive down the dock and pull up right next to the boat, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god!" She peered at Jan with a scowl. "_Men_."

He just grinned and followed her down to the boat. "We'll have to get some planks so we can drive it onto the deck."

"You think it'll fit?' she asked, looking skeptical.

"Yeah. I measured it before I left the city. It'll be tight but we'll manage."

And they did. He was right that it took some fancy driving to get it on board the boat, but once it was there they tied it securely. At one point a security guard came by but when he saw Jan he just chatted briefly and left. He didn't seem particularly worried about them taking a traxet on board. "I expect he's seen all sorts of weird things working here. A lot of the boat owners are real partiers."

Once the traxet was on board, everything was ready to go. "Okay, you'd better get moving", Jan told them. "I have to get the transport back by sunrise to make sure there are no questions. Good luck to both of you." Jan shook Jack's hand and then pulled him into a hug. Sam skipped the first step and simply threw her arms around him.

"Thank you", she whispered. "We'll get your cousin's boat back somehow, I promise."

"No promises now", he admonished her. "Just find that Gate and bring help."

"I will", she reached up and kissed his cheek. "We'll see you soon."

Jan stood on the dock and watched as Jack and Sam sailed silently out into the night. He hoped he would see them again. Letting out a deep breath he turned and headed back to the transport.

* * *

"General?"

"Yes Dr. Jackson?"

Daniel had a frown on his face and all his colleagues, from the General on down, knew that meant trouble. "Uh, if there's a Goa'uld out there attacking an innocent planet, don't you think it's something we might want to investigate? I mean, maybe there's something we can do that the Asgard can't if the people don't want to officially accept their help again."

"By investigate Dr. Jackson, I'm assuming you mean you want to travel with the Asgard to the planet in question?" Hammond asked.

"Yes, if that's okay Sir?" he asked. He glanced nervously at Dr. Frasier and Teal'c, but none of them looked as if he was acting crazy.

"How long will it take to get there?" Daniel asked Thor.

"It shall take a number of days, but you are more than welcome to come."

"Great – so it's all settled."

"Wait a minute", Janet put her hand up. "I think I should go with a small med team. We don't know what we might find there."

"Is there a Stargate on this planet?" Teal'c asked suddenly.

"There is indeed", Thor answered. "But it may even now be in the control of the Goa'uld."

"We could leave the coordinates with you General and send through a MALP and find out what's happening."

"Thor?" General Hammond looked at their alien ally. "Could you give us the coordinates?"

Thor nodded his head. "Do you still wish to accompany me Daniel Jackson?"

"I do. General Hammond?"

Hammond thought for a few minutes and then nodded. It would be good for all of them to think of something other than O'Neill and Carter. Although it was true that they'd all continued to work – and had done an excellent job – he knew their hearts really weren't in it. Maybe helping to save another planet was just what they needed. "You have a go Dr. Jackson. Teal'c?"

"I would wish to go as well General Hammond."

"Good. Dr. Frasier, get your med team together – if that's all right with Thor. Just stay in contact with the base. In the meantime I'll get the coordinates and send through a MALP. Who knows what we'll find."

* * *

Jack and Sam traveled through the night. Fortunately Terra's moon shone brightly and illuminated the water, making it easier to navigate. Jack had insisted on taking the controls and, since it seemed relatively easy and not too physically demanding, Sam didn't argue. She knew he needed to feel like he was contributing.

The water got rougher as they rounded the edge of Terra and began to head north. By the time they had arrived at the Gola Strait, the water was choppy and the air cold. They both hoped it wasn't a bad sign for what awaited them.

It was almost noon the next day before they could see land – Terra Incognita – in the distance. Jack had been resting, dozing slightly, when Sam called out that she could see a land mass ahead. He stood up and watched as the coast grew closer.

"Looks rather – cold", Jack commented. They could see what looked like a rocky beach, behind which cliffs rose perpendicularly. He didn't say anything, but wondered if the traxet would be of any use to them at all. It was not built to traverse mountains.

The craft finally hit land – literally – at around 2:00 in the afternoon. After lowering the anchor, the two of them stood on the deck of the boat, looking at the beach in front of them. Neither spoke – instead they peered at a bleak and cold – and very inhospitable land.

They'd arrived in Terra Incognita.


	23. Fair Trade

_**Sorry folks - I added this chapter by mistake to my story Untying Knots. I have NOT updated that story today so ignore that post. This is the story I updated. So sorry - tiredness is my excuse.**_

_**Did you figure I had disappeared? My apologies (and especially to those I told I was posting). I was almost finished this chapter and then got slammed by RL. I finally finished it - yeah!**_

"Sending through the MALP now Sir", Walter told the General.

Hammond watched as the machine moved up the ramp and through the event horizon. He waited patiently while it travelled through the galaxy and arrived on another world. He wondered at the fact that this had become so routine over the years and shook his head. His life was strange.

"Receiving MALP telemetry now Sir."

They watched as the picture appeared on the computer screen. At first nothing could be seen, but then a bleak and desolate landscape appeared. There was nothing around the gate – no buildings, no life, nothing. The camera moved so that those watching could see a full 180 degrees, and still nothing.

"There doesn't appear to be anything there Sir", Walter announced.

"No son, I can see that. Let's hope that Thor has better – wait!" Hammond leaned forward and looked more closely at the screen. "Did you see that?"

"Uh – I didn't -" Walter fiddles with some dials, trying to get more of a close up. "What?" He too leaned closer. As the picture came into focus they could all see the moving figures at the very edge of the screen.

"Damn!" Hammond exclaimed. "Jaffa!"

* * *

"I can get it Jack", Sam grabbed his arm and stopped him from climbing over the side of the boat. "You watch."

"Sam!"

"No", she turned to him. "Please Jack, this isn't the time to try and prove anything. You need to conserve your energy. We have a long road ahead us. You – watch – and I'm going to get the planks set up and then we can go. _Please_."

His jaw clenched and he could feel the anger and frustration mount, but he knew it would be unfair to unleash them on her. Sam was right and he had to accept it, no matter how painful it was. He would be lucky to make the trip at all. The last thing he needed was to try and pull some macho stunt and end up killing himself and leaving her alone. He nodded. "Okay. Just – be careful."

"I will", she smiled and leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "Colonel."

"Don't you go trying to suck up to me Carter", he growled. "I'll still put you on report for-"

"For what _Sir_?" she grinned.

"For being the best damn soldier with whom it's been my privilege to serve", he told her softly.

Her expression sobered up immediately. "Jack – we're gonna make it." She sounded as if she was trying to convince herself of that fact.

"Of course we are Carter, but only if you move that pretty little ass of yours and get us off this boat. I'm freezin' my balls off standing up here."

"Well", her lips curled in a wobbly smile, "we wouldn't want that." With that she climbed over the side and down the short ladder. She landed with a splash in the shallow water near the beach. "Crap!" Her feet were going to be wet and cold.

"You okay down there?" he shouted.

"Fine. Things look good. Can you pass the first plank down?"

For the next half hour they fixed the wood planks to the deck rail, hoping that they'd hold the traxet. "All done", he shouted. "You'd better get up here and dry off." By this time Sam was soaked and with the chill wind she could easily end up getting sick.

She was shivering when she reached the deck and he immediately wrapped her in the blanket he had waiting. "Go and take your clothes off", he told her. "I'll heat up some soup."

"Jack we should -"

"We should get you warm otherwise you'll end up with hypothermia. Go on, take off those clothes."

She looked at him suspiciously. "You just want me naked, don't you?"

"Of course Carter", he told her, as if there wasn't any other answer. "I have an uncontrollable desire to see that mole right now. Now _GO_."

"Fine", she muttered to herself as she made her way below deck. She continued to shiver and kept thinking about that soup. She heard Jack follow her down and was immediately worried when she heard his gasping breaths. "Jack?" she turned and watched as he came down the ladder, his face pale and clammy.

"I'm okay", he said. "Don't worry Sam" he stopped to try and take a breath. "I'll make it."

She knew there was nothing she could do so instead she nodded and started to strip. He gestured to where there were some clean, dry clothes. "I'll get the soup", he told her, although in actual fact he wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep. He started to walk over to the small galley when a sharp voice stopped him.

"Don't be crazy", she said. "Sit down for god's sake. I'll put the soup on. Do you have your pills?"

This time he didn't argue. He barely made it to the small couch before collapsing. Sam made her way over and felt in his pockets for the small packet of pills. He didn't even have enough air in his lungs to answer her or to get them himself.

"Open", she told him. He did and she placed two pills on his tongue and then helped him take a sip of water. She stood there watching until the pills took affect and his breathing evened out. "Feeling better?" she asked. It looked like some of the blood was returning to his cheeks and the blueness in his lips was fading. She herself could suddenly breathe easier now that the crisis was past. "Rest", she told him. "I'm going to fix that soup."

"We should get going Carter. It's getting late."

"We'll go in the morning", she told him bluntly. "It's too late tonight and we're too tired."

He opened his mouth to argue but she had walked away and he knew he wasn't going to convince her. He also knew she was right, but at the same time he knew that he didn't have a lot of time and the fact that the Goa'uld had continued to attack all night and into the day meant time for Terra was running out fast.

"Jack."

"Hmmm?"

"Wake up."

He slowly opened his eyes, to see that it had grown dark. Sam was kneeling beside him, a bowl in her hands. "You should eat now."

"What time is it?"

"It's after eight. You slept for three hours." She smiled. "You're looking better."

He pushed himself to a seated position and took the bowl from her. "I told you I'll be alright Sam. It was just a little attack."

She agreed, although they both knew that he did not have 'little' attacks. His body was growing weaker with each passing day and it was now a race against time. The problem she faced was that to wait too long was dangerous, but to push him was equally as bad. They would have to go at a steady pace, but not so fast as to – kill – him. "Eat", she told him when he seemed to just be playing with his food.

He grimaced. He had no appetite and all he really wanted to do was lie down and sleep – probably forever. Still, he couldn't do that to Sam - at least not yet. He was growing tired though – and it was more than a physical tiredness. He lifted his spoon and forced himself to take a bite.

"The go-kart?"

"On the beach", she told him. "I managed to get it off the boat. I drove it far enough up the beach so it won't get wet. It should be safe."

"Mmm", he agreed, his eyes drooping. "As long as there are no Jaffa."

"If there are Jaffa", she told him, taking the bowl from his hands and helping him lie back down again, "then the traxet is the last thing we have to worry about. Go to sleep."

But he was already there. Sam sat for a long time and watched him as he struggled to breathe. There was a perpetual frown between his brows and his skin was looking waxy and gray. She closed her eyes and said a short prayer. He had to make it. There was just no other option.

"Okay, but this is going to be tight", he told her as he got into their unusual means of transportation. "You do know how to drive this thing, right?"

"Yes", she told him, checking over the simple controls.

"You built go-karts as a girl, didn't you?"

She lifted her head and grinned. "Of course, although I crashed the first one I made."

"Great. Don't tell me we have that to look forward to."

"No, I won't crash her – not this time."

"Thank you. Uh, do you know which way to go?"

"I think so. Here, you navigate." She handed him the map which she'd drawn. He studied it for a moment and then lifted his head and looked around. "That way", he pointed.

They drove for the next hour, not saying much to one another. It was rather difficult to speak as it was noisy and they had to keep their faces as covered as possible. It was bitterly cold and the traxet was open. Even with the slow speed they were travelling the air hit their faces like razors.

Jack was actually surprised at how well the little vehicle handled the terrain. And, although they weren't travelling fast, their pace was steady. The only problem they'd had was in finding a path up the cliff close to the beach. At first it had looked like they were going to have to leave the traxet behind and walk, but eventually they'd found a narrow path – just wide enough for the little go-kart to make it up. It had been a bit of a harrowing ride, but Jack knew if anyone could do it, it was Sam.

"Hungry?" she asked, slowing down and stopping.

"Not really", he told her. "Want me to drive for a while?"

She studied him carefully but then shook her head. "No, I'm okay for now. If I get too tired I'll let you take over."

He regarded her seriously and then nodded. "Okay. I could use a drink though."

Sam pulled out the thermos and they each had some of the hot, coffee like drink that was popular on Terra. Sam also ate a slice of the loaf that Jan had provided. She made Jack take a couple of bites, although she noticed it was getting harder and harder to make him eat. "You have to Jack", she finally told him. "You need the strength."

He closed his eyes but nodded and forced himself to eat an entire piece. By the end of it he was feeling nauseated but he'd gotten it all down. "We'd better go."

They travelled all day, only stopping to take short rest breaks. Jack fell asleep at one point, looking terribly uncomfortable, although Sam was glad of it. The more he rested the better.

"Sam, you have to stop", he finally told her, just as the sun was beginning to set. "You're exhausted."

"I can make it a bit -"

"No", he shook his head. "This is a good place to stop. We've made excellent time today and I don't want you killing yourself. I'll drive a bit tomorrow."

"Jack -"

"No Sam, I'm fine. I won't push myself, I promise, and if I get too tired I'll let you take over. Please, I'm _dying_ of boredom here."

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "Okay, you win. We'll stay here. God, my legs and butt are killing me."

"How do you think I'm feeling", he grimaced. "Help me out of this thing."

As they curled up together that night, inside the small tent that Jan and Daneil had provided, both of them thought about how far they had yet to go, and wondered if they would make it.

* * *

"How much farther Thor?" Daniel was bored and he'd left Doc Frasier, Teal'c and the two nurses in the room Thor had given them to eat in and relax. There really wasn't much for any of them to do on the ship except read, talk or play cards. Daniel was tired of all three. He thought briefly about Jack and felt a terrible wave of sadness wash over him. He'd give anything to have his friend show up, right now, and start harassing him.

"Dr. Jackson. We shall arrive in one of your Earth days. I am sorry it is taking so long. The planet is at a great distance from Earth."

"That's okay Thor. I appreciate you allowing us to come along."

"It is pleasant to have company Doctor."

"Thor, tell me, what do you think are the chances of finding Jack and Sam. Do you – really think you can find them?"

Thor stood as if thinking for a few moments. He finally lifted his head and blinked. "If I were to calculate the odds, I would say it is extremely unlikely. In fact, the odds say it is nearly impossible."

"Then why have you continued to look?"

Thor stepped away from his consul and walked towards Daniel. He stopped and peered up at the human he had grown to like and respect. "Because in my travels throughout this galaxy and my own, I have realized that science and facts and 'odds' are not the only thing that rule our universe. I have seen many things, many events that could not be explained by science. It is my hope that we will experience another of these, and that we shall find O'Neill and Major Carter."

"You're hoping for a miracle Thor", Daniel said softly.

"I guess I am Dr. Jackson."

* * *

"We are about to arrive", Thor's voice called over the ship's comm system almost twenty-four hours later. "I am monitoring the planet and it appears as if the Goa'uld have attacked. There are many Jaffa already on the ground, as General Hammond's report indicated. I am going to attempt to contact the leaders of this world."

Daniel, Teal'c, Dr. Frasier, Lieutenant Arbole and Captain Day were all looking out the porthole to the planet below. On the screen above them they could also see the Goa'uld mother-ship that was orbiting the planet. Everyone could feel the tension emanating from the person standing next to them.

"Any idea of what's happening Thor?" Daniel finally asked, unable to stand quietly any longer."

"It appears as if many are dead, Dr. Jackson. In fact, the major city of the planet has been destroyed. There are few survivors and the Goa'uld appear to be taking them to their ship."

"Oh God", Janet covered her mouth. "They're taking hosts!"

"Most of the people shall be slaves", Thor explained to her. "Only a small number will become hosts."

"Can't you do something?" she asked the alien. "We've got to help them."

"I will do what I can", he answered softly. "Unfortunately it is too late to do much."

"You said they had some defenses", Daniel stood, staring at the planet in horror. "How were they able to destroy so much of the planet?"

"The planet was only partially protected. They may have been able to arrive through the gate or to other parts of the planet. Without a complete defense system it would have been easier to overcome what was there."

"Those stupid people!" Janet whispered. "If only they'd let you protect them."

"It is not unusual for people to believe they are better off on their own", Thor explained. "There are a number of planets that have refused our aid. There is little we can do unless we force them to accept it – and then we are no better than the Goa'uld."

The doctor nodded, although she still looked sick. She finally took a deep breath and faced the Asgard. "You said you will do what you can. What is that?"

Instead of answering, Thor walked to his control panel and moved the oval shaped crystal. "This is Supreme Commander Thor of the Asgard. You will release the people you have taken and leave this planet."

There was silence which lasted for only a few seconds when an obvious Goa'uld timbered voice came over the speakers. "This is Quirinius", the voice roared. "Who are you to give me a command? I have conquered this world and now I take its spoils as my own."

"If you do not release your prisoners – safely – then I will be forced to act", Thor answered, total calm in his voice. "I give you five minutes." He moved the crystal and the sound stopped instantly.

"He's not going to just let them go", Daniel spoke unbelievably. "Why should he?"

"No, he will not", Thor agreed. "In that case I will have to act. Most of his Jaffa are on the planet." Thor quickly moved some controls and then stood, serene and still.

"Uh – what did you do?" Janet looked at him curiously.

"I have removed all his Jaffa", he told her.

"_Removed them_? Where did you put them?" the tiny doctor asked, half laughing.

"They are safe – held within the transport beam. He turned to the controls one more time. "Quirinius?"

"Yes – what do you want?" The Goa'uld clearly hadn't been told yet about his Jaffa.

"You may not be aware yet, but I have removed your Jaffa from the planet. I propose a trade. You give me the humans and I shall return your Jaffa."

"What?" Quintinius exclaimed. They could all hear the Goa'uld speaking to someone in the background although they couldn't understand his words. A few seconds later he was back on. "What did you do with them?"

"I have them held safely – but they will not be returned until you release the prisoners."

"Why should I? I can keep them instead of my Jaffa."

"If that is your wish", Thor answered agreeably. "Although I rather fear it will be impossible to gain their loyalty. You may try."

There was more speaking and then Quintinius came back on. "You are interfering in something that is not your business. I shall complain to the Asgard High Council."

"You may do so", Thor agreed. "But you will have to produce leaders from the planet you have destroyed. It will be up to them to swear that they wish to become enslaved by you. Or, they may chose to have the Asgard help them. They were formerly under our protection and we did not receive word that they switched their allegiance to you."

Teal'c raised his eyebrows as the loud cursing that came over the speakers. It was in Goa'uld, so Janet and the nurses didn't understand. From his expression Daniel knew exactly what had been said.

"I will return them, but this is not the end", the voice said. "You will be hearing from me."

"I look forward to it." Thor looked completely unfazed by the entire episode and after a few seconds spoke again. "Once I am convinced that everyone has been returned safely, I will give you back your Jaffa. You are then to leave this solar system and never return."

It was almost two hours later before the last transfer had been made and the mother ship disappeared into hyperspace.

"How many people are there?" Janet asked, looking out the window at the planet.

"It appears as if there are fewer than ten thousand", Thor told her.

"How many dead?"

"_Janet_" Daniel walked over to her swiftly. "It doesn't matter."

"_What_! How can you say that", she told him angrily. "Thousands of people were killed and you say it doesn't _matter_!"

"He did not mean it like that Doctor", Teal'c interjected gently. "He simply means that knowing will not make a difference. We can only try and help the living."

"I'm sorry Janet", Daniel put his hand on her shoulder. "It's horrible – too horrible to contemplate, I know. But Teal'c is right. We need to concentrate on the living."

She nodded and wiped her face with the back of her hand. She straightened up and turned to face Thor. "Can you beam us down?"

"You must send us down to the Stargate", Teal'c instructed. "We can notify Hammond of what has occurred and he can also send aid."

"Thor looked at each of the humans, understanding that this would be difficult for them. You are sure Doctor Frasier. Tea;c? It will not be pleasant."

"We need to do what we can to help", she told him. "Is there any way the Asgard -?"

"Yes, I have sent a message and other ships are on the way. We will help them as much as we can."

Thor beamed them down near to the gate. All was silent although the ground was scattered with dead bodies. Janet began to walk through and check them out to make sure there was no one left alive, that needed help. The Goa'uld were too efficient. They also found that the gate had been destroyed in the battle. There was no way they were getting help that way.

"There are no survivors here. Where are they all?" Nurse Day, her face streaked with tears, finally asked.

Teal'c gestured towards the horizon, where they could see figures moving towards them. "We shall ask them."

It was as the figures moved closer that they began to see them more clearly. There were two of them, and they looked as if they were injured, although they came steadily forward. At one point the taller of the two seemed to stumble and fall. The other helped him and after a few seconds he was able stand.

"Maybe we should go and help?" Janet stood with her hand shielding her eyes. "In fact I know we should. Come on." She picked up her bag of supplies and began to run towards them, followed by the remainder of the humans who had come from Earth.

* * *

It happened suddenly, without warning. They'd been making good time – better than Sam had thought. She'd grown to love the traxet, even though it wasn't comfortable. What it was though, was efficient – and it got them to where they were going with little trouble. Sure, it was bumpy and cold and unpleasant but it was still a heck of a lot better than walking.

When she thought about it later, she was pretty sure she'd jinxed them, even though normally she didn't believe in such things because it was almost immediately on the tail of that thought that they hit the hole.

But it wasn't just a hole. Later on they found out that they'd hit the first geyser in Terra Incongnita. Of course at that moment it hadn't been – geysering – Jack's word, and had a thin crust over it. That is what had done them in. Neither had seen it, and next thing they knew they were flipping ass over tea kettle.

Her first thought, on waking, was that she hurt like hell. Immediately that was followed by the thought of -

"_Jack!"_ She screamed and pushed herself up – at least as far up as she could make it without letting out another scream, this time of pain. She'd broken something – her arm, wrist – she couldn't quite tell as she was on the point of blacking out. Still, the thought of what this had done to Jack propelled her back to awareness and up and forward. She had to fine him. Oh God – if she'd killed him by flipping the car she'd never, ever forgive herself.

"Jack!" she called. She was on her hands and knees – well, two knees and one hand – the other was held tightly against her body. She moved her head frantically, trying to locate her husband. It was only after what seemed life forever that she saw the mound over to the side. After a quick shake of her head, she recognized the mound for what it was – Jack.

She managed to, sort of, get to her feet and lurched over to where he lay, huddled in a tangled heap of humanity. "Jack! Oh God, tell me you're alright!" When he didn't answer she threw herself down beside him and, with shaking fingers, reached for his neck.

"Please", she cried, "_please_. Don't you dare be dead Jack, don't you dare!"


	24. Ending

_**If you want I will post another chapter this evening - but only if lots of people ask (shameless way of getting reviews, I know. I'm so bad!).**_

_**Serious angst alert.**_

"_Jack!_"

"Aaargh!" He tried to roll over but didn't have the energy. His breathing was rough – almost impossible, and he could feel himself start to black out. With one final burst of energy, from where he didn't know, he managed to flip himself onto his back. That immediately eased his breathing somewhat, although he still couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs.

What the hell had happened? He peered upward, into the extremely worried, totally white face of his wife. "Sam?" he whispered. Actually, he hadn't meant to whisper although that was all he could manage right now.

"Jack – are you okay?" She leaned forward and started feeling him all over. Normally he would have enjoyed it, but she was looking terrible and he suddenly worried.

"You?" he managed to get out.

"Me? I'm fine", she answered quickly. "It's you – God, are you alright?"

"Well, I've never been called 'God' before – but yeah, I think so. What happened?"

She tried to help him sit, but was so shaky herself she could barely manage to pull him up. It was only as she kneeled beside him that she noticed that he was lying on a soft bed of some kind of green grass. When she looked at it more closely she decided it looked more like moss. She reached over with her good hand and felt it – and it was both warm and spongy. She frowned, thinking that this must be because of the underground –

"_**SAM**_**!"**

His near shout brought her back to herself. "Sorry. I was just thinking about this moss. It must have been because of the heated underground springs. It's lucky because I think it may have saved your life."

It was only then he realized that the ground underneath him was indeed soft. He nodded, knowing he'd been more than lucky. In his condition an accident like this could easily have killed him. He glanced again at Sam and realized that must have been why she was looking so pale. She thought he'd been killed.

He reached out for her, feeling horrible at all she was going through. It was when she yelped that he realized it was more than fear that had leached the color from her face. "You're hurt!"

"I think I broke my wrist", she admitted. "I'm sorry. I didn't see -"

"Nothin' to be sorry about", he told her, examining her wrist as he spoke. "Accident. I'm gonna have to set this you know."

She grimaced. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm sorry. He told her, glancing up quickly. She looked at him and smiled and then gave a little scream as he jerked her wrist and snapped the bone back. "What the – you could have warned me!"

"This was better", he told her. "And quicker. I just need to bind it. Let me see if I can grab the first aid pack."

"No, you stay here", she answered, scrambling to her feet – awkwardly with one hand. "I'll get it."

He sighed but didn't say anything. Even though he hadn't been seriously hurt by the tumble, he was feeling decidedly shaky and knew it couldn't have been good for his overall condition.

Sam returned a few minutes later, still looking woozy although not quite as bad as before. "You should take a pill", she informed him. "You're looking pale"

He shrugged, knowing that was pretty much a constant state of affairs for him now. Still, if it made her feel better - He popped a pill into his mouth and then picked up the first aid kit. "Let me see."

Once Sam's wrist was bound he insisted on getting up. Together they looked at the traxet – both knowing instantly that it wasn't going to take them any farther. It lay in a crumpled heap, one whole side of it bashed in and a wheel missing. They both realized, again, how lucky they'd been.

Sam wanted to cry. They'd been so close but now – now they had to walk and looking at Jack she didn't know if they could make it. And she had a broken wrist so wasn't going to be able to help him much.

His arm went around her gently and he leaned his head down and gave her a soft kiss on her head. "Stop worrying. I'm a tough old bastard. I can make it as long as you don't expect me to run."

"Jack." She closed her eyes, feeling ashamed that her voice cracked and gave away her feelings. She was so afraid.

"Sam, you have to stop worrying. Let's go and find the gate and get home. Frasier can fix me up and everything will be fine."

"Will it?" she answered, burying her face in his chest. For once she wasn't allowing his assurances to soothe her. The fact was, he was dying and they both knew it. She sobbed into his chest, finally letting the tears fall.

Jack started to open his mouth to tell her again he'd be okay, but he stopped himself. There was no point lying, not anymore. He couldn't last for long and she knew the truth. Maybe they should just stay here and he could allow himself to rest – he gave a crooked grin – for eternity. She could then make it on her own and find the gate.

As tempting as that was, in many ways, a part of him still rebelled. He had never given up – no, that wasn't quite true. He'd given up after Charlie – but had been saved by a geeky young anthropologist. He'd also given up – or almost – when Ba'al had him. It had also been Daniel who had kept him going long enough for the others to find a way to save him. But those situations were anomalies and ones he wasn't proud of. Usually he was too stubborn to give up so why the hell was he letting himself do it now?

At the least he had to make sure Sam was safe. At that point he could let go, but not before. He lifted his head and took a breath – a shallow one which was pretty much all he could do – but at least it was something. "Come on. We have a little ways to go so we might as well get started."

"Jack?" she looked at him, her eyes showing her fear and her doubt.

This time he smiled. "I don't know Sam. All I can do is try. Just – stick with me and I'll do everything I can to make it, but I can't promise." As the tears filled her eyes again he gave her a hug.

She nodded, seeming to accept his truth. She stood up suddenly and took a deep breath. "Okay – just lean on me."

Didn't she know that that's what he'd been doing for years? He turned and held out his arm. She put her arm around his waist and together they headed off, towards the gate and home.

"It's hot", Jack complained, wiping his face again. Sweat kept dripping in his eyes and it was driving him crazy.

"It's the geysers", Sam explained, wiping the sweat from her own eyes.

"Yeah. We'll have to name this place 'Yellowstone II'."

"Or Son of Yellowstone", she replied, knowing she had to do something to keep their spirits up.

"Yellowstone: The Sequel", he quickly answered back.

"Yellowstone: The Early Years." She grinned, enjoying the brief moment of levity.

"Yellowstone Returns."

"Yellowstone: The Empire Strikes Back."

"Yellowstone and the Temple of Doom."

"Yech – bad one."

"Title or movie?" He asked curiously.

"Both. Yellowstone and the Deathly Hollows."

That stopped them both because somehow it rang too true. Looking around, Sam felt a chill down her spine. This place reminded her of her visions of what hell could be like. It was a dreary, gray day and there was steam and flames rising from the ground. They hadn't seen any life, of any kind, since they'd flipped the car and found the moss. Otherwise, there didn't seem to be much in the way of plant or animal life and no evidence whatsoever of humans having been here.

"You're sure this is the way to the gate?" Jack asked, after the silence had gone on for too long.

"Yeah", she nodded. "I checked it over numerous times. It's been a lot of years since anyone has been here", she told him. "And the book did talk about the geysers."

"Okay then. Lead on Major. I'm counting on you to get us home."

There had been other times, throughout the years, when Jack – or Colonel O'Neill, had asked her to perform miracles, but, if she could do this, she knew it would be the biggest miracle of all.

* * *

As Janet ran towards the two figures she couldn't help but notice that one of them had light hair. For a moment she was reminded of Sam, but then shook that thought off immediately. Now was not the time to think about their lost friends and comrades.

"It looks like they may be injured", Daniel said, running alongside her.

Janet couldn't help feel a moment's jealousy as she realized that neither Teal'c nor Daniel were in the slightest out of breath and were holding back their pace because of her. "Go on", she gasped. "I'll be right behind you."

With a nod Teal'c immediately sprinted ahead, followed almost immediately by Daniel.

It only took a few seconds for the two men to reach the approaching people. They both stopped dead and stared.

"Oh thank God", the woman sobbed, clutching her huge belly. "Please help us. My husband has been hurt and I –" she let out a gasp and would have crumpled to the ground if Daniel hadn't caught her.

"Don't worry", he told the woman. "We'll help you. Are you – okay?"

"The baby – it's coming", she gasped, keeping her eyes on her husband. He too had collapsed and Teal'c was tending to him. "My husband? Is he -?"

"He is simply unconscious", Teal'c replied, moving out of the way as a gasping Janet arrived.

"What happened?" she asked, kneeling on the ground and immediately beginning to examine the man.

"The people came from the sky and started to kill everyone", the blond-haired woman cried. "My husband – Johan – told us we must flee if we were to survive. We left our home, with nothing. As we were fleeing he was hit. Shortly after my pains came. Please, can you help him?"

Janet was silent for a few seconds as she pulled back the man's shirt. "Staff weapon burn", she said. "It looks bad but if we get him back to the ship Thor should be able to help."

"Ship?" The woman suddenly looked terrified. "No – you are with them! Don't kill us, please."

"No, no", Daniel reached out and gently touched her arm. "We are here to help. We are _not_ with your enemies." He grimaced as the woman again clutched her belly and cried out. "Uh Janet. I think she might be close here."

"Okay", the doctor said, taking control. "Teal'c, contact Thor and tell him we need to get to the ship. Johan is in shock and needs immediate attention and I think we have a baby coming." She moved over to the woman. "What is your name?"

"Sanah", she replied. "Johan, how is he?"

Janet didn't have a chance to reply before they all disappeared in a flash of light.

"Thor! Thanks. The man here needs one of your healing pods. He has a severe staff weapon burn and he's in shock." Before she'd even finished speaking Johan had disappeared.

Sanah screamed and had to be reassured that her husband was okay.

"He is fine, I promise", Janet told her. "Our friend has simply taken him to be healed."

"Does she also need a healing pod", Thor asked about the woman. "She looks unwell."

"No – at least – she's having a baby. Do you have a bed? Maybe close to her husband so she can see him?"

Again, before they had a chance to blink, Janet and the woman had disappeared. "Do you wish to go too Dr. Jackson, Teal'c?"

"Uh, I think Janet would appreciate her nurses more than us", Daniel said. "Maybe we should go down and see if we can help on the planet?"

Janet checked on Johan but the pod seemed to be doing everything that needed to be done. Thor joined her and explained that the man's vital signs were slowly improving and he should be fine.

When Sanah heard that she began to cry, but was immediately distracted by the next contraction.

"Okay people", Frasier said to her staff. "We have a baby to deliver."

Daniel and Teal'c worked for hours trying to help the terrified survivors. Mostly what they could do was assure the people that the Goa'uld were gone and that help was on the way. Both men knew, however, that the trauma would be long-lasting and they'd need more help than just the material. Another demonstration of the evilness of the Goa'uld, they agreed.

They finally returned to Thor's ship, exhausted and unable to do much without more supplies. When they arrived Thor was alone in the Control room.

"How are Johan and Sanah?" Daniel asked, collapsing into a chair thoughtfully provided by the alien commander.

"They are well", Thor informed them. "The baby has not yet arrived, but the man is much better and is able to support his wife. The child is fine. I have been monitoring them."

"That's good", the one-time archaeologist and present galactic traveler and soldier replied. "At least one good thing will come out of today."

It was a few minutes later when Janet's voice came over the speaker. "We have a boy and he and Mom and Dad are all doing well!"

Daniel couldn't help but grin – an expression copied by his close friend and comrade. "It's a boy Teal'c!"

"Indeed Daniel Jackson. Once again the human spirit triumphs over evil."

"Not just spirit Teal'c. Life is pretty powerful." It was a couple of minutes later when Daniel frowned.

"What is it?" Teal'c asked. "You appear concerned."

"Huh?" Daniel blinked and glanced over at his friend. "No, not concerned. At least – I just realized we don't know the name of this place. I didn't hear anyone mention it, did you?"

"I did not", Teal'c replied.

"I guess it doesn't really matter, but it somehow seems wrong that we don't call the planet by name – especially after it was almost destroyed."

"I agree. Commander", Teal'c looked over at Thor. "Can you tell us the name of this world?"

Thor raised his head from his consul and gave a blink with his huge, expressive eyes. "Certainly. It is called Drokai."

* * *

Jack stumbled – again – and would have fallen if it hadn't been for Sam's arm keeping him up. He didn't say anything because by now it took energy he didn't have to try and speak. All he knew was that he had to keep his feet moving. He could barely remember why anymore, even though something inside kept him going.

His vision was practically gone as black spots swam viciously across his eyes. His hearing too, seemed to be diminishing and all he could hear was the ever slowing, ever weakening thump of his failing heart.

Sam looked at him again and knew that he was going down fast. His face was opaque and his lips were blue, as were the nails on his fingers. She had to struggle to keep him upright and it was only by shear will power that she didn't drop to the ground in pain and despair.

There were moments she wondered if she was being cruel. Should she stop and let him rest? Should she lay his head in her lap and tell him to let go, to go to sleep? But she knew it would be a sleep from which he would never awaken and she wasn't quite ready for that, not yet.

Not yet? She would never be ready. He was not just the man she loved, he was part of her – her other half, as trite and clichéd as that sounded. Without him she knew she could never be complete, never be happy. She thought back over the years and knew that they had always belonged together – that their souls were bound in a way few others experienced. No, she wouldn't stop – couldn't stop. They _had_ to make it.

They had been walking for almost two days now and she had stopped thinking about how much farther it was. She only thought about the next step and about keeping Jack alive and walking. Her world had shrunk down to now and the few feet in front of them. It took her awhile, therefore, to realize that she could see something in the distance – something other than the sporadic spouts of steam or the flat, bleak landscape.

She stopped – so suddenly that Jack almost fell. She cursed herself and helped steady him. "We're going to rest for a minute", she told him and slowly helped him to the ground. He didn't answer, didn't even look at her. She closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears escape again. She touched his shoulder. "I'll be right back – don't go anywhere."

At that he lifted his head and looked at her, and gave a slight wink – about all he could handle. She sobbed quietly but gave him a smile and hurried away, towards the object in the distance.

It could just be a mirage, she supposed. Or it could be another visual distortion caused by the steam. She held her hand up to her eyes and squinted.

"Oh God!" she breathed. She looked again, wanting to make sure – hoping, praying. She turned and ran blindly back to Jack's side, this time sobbing and crying out loud - but in relief.

"The Stargate", she gasped. "I see it. I see the Stargate!"

He slowly lifted his head again, and tried to lick his dry lips. He opened his mouth but all that escaped was a small cough. He tried again. "Knew – you could – do it!" he finally gasped. It was all he could manage but the slight grin on his face spoke volumes.

"We're going to make it Jack!" She knelt at his side and touched his face lovingly. "We did it. It's only a little ways away – just a short walk and then we'll be home."

"If – it – works."

Her expression changed to one of fear, but then relaxed. "Of course it will work", she said confidently. "I am _not_ going to drag your ass over half of Terra to find a broken Stargate", she told him indignantly. That caused a small grin, although he was looking so ghastly it looked almost macabre.

"Okay – are you ready to go home soldier?" she asked gently, when she noticed he was starting to drift off. "Come on Jack", she carefully shook his shoulder. "We have to go."

With much effort his eyes opened, the light that was usually there almost extinguished. "Lead – on – Major. Take us – home."

It took more energy than she had to get him to his feet, but she wasn't about to let something like that stop her. Once they were again upright she turned him towards the gate and they began to walk.

Jack was afraid. It would be worse, he knew, to be this close and not make it. But his heart – it was weakening with each beat and he wasn't sure he was going to make it. Sam kept telling him it was close, but they both knew that it was probably miles. The landscape here was so flat that you could see for a long distance and there was no telling how close the gate actually was. As he took each step he worried that it would be his last.

Sam was using every bit of love, determination, obstinacy, and sheer willpower she had to keep Jack going. She took turns begging, yelling, entreating and commanding him to keep moving. Anytime he faltered she told him to get his ass moving. When he gasped she told him she loved him and needed him. When he stumbled she begged him to hold on – that they were almost there.

Finally she saw the Stargate clearly and knew it was a possibility. It _was_ truly close now – maybe no more than twenty minutes away. They _were _going to make it. Home and help were near.

She refused to ask whether or not Jack could be helped even if they did make it. That was not something she allowed to even enter into her thoughts. Janet would be there and Janet would fix him. That was all there was to it.

"We're going to make it Sir", she whispered, reverting to the years of calling him Sir. Right now it seemed appropriate.

"Pulled another – miracle – Carter?"

"Don't talk Colonel. Just concentrate on keeping going. Soon you'll have a nice, comfy bed in the Infirmary." She almost giggled when he glared at her, but felt her heart lightening. Home was literally on the horizon.

He should have known, he realized. Since when did things work out for him – for them – the way they wanted? He'd finally allowed a little bit of hope to blossom in his chest and then things went wrong. They'd been concentrating so much on simply finding the gate that they'd both forgotten the Goa'uld.

* * *

"I told them they could come with us but they've decided to return to their home, or whatever is left of it. Thor says they're all healthy so it should be okay." Janet was speaking softly to Daniel and Teal'c as she watched Johan stand over his wife and new son. "It's strange, I feel terrible about what has happened to their world, but I can't help but feel happy for them at the same time. I guess that's what being human is all about – taking what joy we can even in the face of pain."

They said goodbye to the young family and watched as they disappeared, back to their planet. Other Asgard ships had arrived and help was being given to the remaining inhabitants.

"I shall return you now to Earth", the little alien said. "I am sorry that there was not more we could do."

"At least we helped some of them", Daniel sighed. "But I guess I'm happy to be heading home. God, I hate the Goa'uld."

"You and me both Daniel", Janet answered. Teal'c simply nodded.

They rested while Thor's ship made its way through space towards home and familiarity. Daniel didn't know why, but he felt a strange emptiness inside. It could have been because of the recent devastation they'd witnessed, but somehow he knew it was more than that. Even though this trip hadn't been about finding Jack and Sam, somehow it felt like they'd failed, that their friends had been somehow counting on them and they'd failed.

"What is wrong Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c's voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned to his friend. Janet was also watching him, seeming to sense that something was bothering him beyond the planet they'd just visited.

"I was thinking about Jack and Sam", he answered. "I feel like – I know it's silly, but I feel like we're missing something."

"Like what?" Janet looked at him, puzzled.

"I don't know. It's crazy but I feel like – like we've failed them somehow."

"We have done everything possible", Teal'c reminded him. "If there was anything else we would have done it."

"I know – and I don't mean before – I mean _now_. I told you, it's crazy."

Janet and Teal'c both looked at him with compassion – and understanding, but couldn't really say anything to help. Maybe it was time he let Jack and Sam go.

"Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, Dr. Frasier. Please come to the control room immediately." Thor's voice came over the speaker, sounding – different from its usual calm tenor. "There is something on the planet below."

* * *

The Death Gliders seemed to come out of thin air. One moment it was them and the Stargate, the next the air was alive with the small ships – and there was absolutely nowhere for them to hide. They were stuck in the middle of a flat plain with not one tree, rock, building or other hiding place in sight.

"Damn it all!" Sam screamed, looking up at the sky. "Why? Why in hell do you do this to us?"

Jack wondered briefly who she was talking to, but didn't have enough energy to really worry about it. "Sam", he gasped. "Keep – going."

"But they'll see us."

He nodded. "Nothin' we can – do. Keep – movin'."

So that's what they did. Step by step they headed towards the gate. As the ships continued overhead Sam began to wonder if maybe, just maybe they would make it after all. No one had fired at them and they were almost at the –

The shot hit the ground only inches from them. Sam lost her grip on Jack and both of them flew through the air, landing with incredible impact on the hard ground. Ironically, they'd landed within feet of the Stargate.

Sobbing, Sam managed to pull herself up and crawl towards Jack. This time her own injuries were more than a simple broken wrist. She was hurt – badly she knew – but she was still alive and she wasn't going to give up – not until she was with him.

As she approached the Colonel she could see the blood – God, too much blood. He was also totally still.  
"Jack", she sighed. She pulled herself up to him and collapsed beside him. Maybe this was better, she thought briefly. She'd wondered how she could go on without him. Now she didn't have to – they would die together and then they would always be together.

She reached out slowly, her hand shaking and covered in dirt and blood. She laid it softly, tentatively against his face. His skin was cool – not yet cold, but she knew that would come. She moved her fingers lower – ever so slowly – until they reached his neck. She closed her eyes and said a short prayer – although she wasn't quite sure what to pray for. Would it be more merciful if he was already gone? NO. She needed to see him, hear him, _tell_ him – just once more.

The slight, very slight beat finally made its way to her fingers. He was alive – but only for a moment she knew. "Jack." She lay down beside him, her mouth by his ear. "Jack."

His eyes opened slowly, and only half way, but he was looking at her and she knew he recognized her. She gave him a smile – the one she'd always reserved just for him. "I'm here Jack and I won't leave you."

Slight lines appeared on his brow and he made a slight motion of his head. "No", he mouthed, no sound escaping. "Go – be – safe."

"I am safe", she told him gently, leaning forward and touching her forehead to his. "I'm with you and you've always kept me safe. I love you."

His eyes filled with tears and one or two slipped over and down his gaunt cheeks. "No", he begged. "Please – live."

She smiled again and got as close to him as she could. "I've lived more this last year, with you, than I ever thought I would. Please don't worry my darling. This is what I want and I'm happy. Just close your eyes and sleep and I'll be here with you when you wake up."

His eyes searched hers, the tears still glistening on his face. Finally he nodded and gave a tiny smile. "Love you", he mouthed, "always." With that he closed his eyes.

She watched him as his breathing slowed. It was only a few moments before he let out one long sigh. His lips were slightly parted and his lids opened enough so she could just see the brown of his eyes. He did not breathe again.

She leaned forward and touched his lips. "Always."


	25. Expecting Miracles

_**Okay brilliant, amazing, lovely, scrumptialicious, awesome readers …. as promised, the second chapter in one evening. THANK YOU**_

The three of them rushed to the control room, arriving out of breath and anxious. Thor was there but didn't respond to their entrance. Instead he was concentrating on his controls, moving incredibly quickly from one console to another.

"What is it? What's happened?" Daniel spoke for all of them and was surprised when Thor didn't answer immediately. When the alien finally did look up, they all were shocked at the naked emotion on his face.

"The planet below – it is also under attack", he told them. "This planet – Terra - is similar to Drokai – its people did not want our protection and we left and now the Goa'uld have returned." He moved the crystal again and stood silently. Finally he lifted his head and continued.

"Death Gliders have just breached the planet's shield and are getting ready to attack, but so far have not. I have just sent a message saying that if they attack I will fire on their ship."

"And?" Daniel glanced out the window to see a planet below, but he couldn't see anything else so turned back to Thor.

"And they have stopped – for now. But that is not why I -." He stopped and fiddled again with the controls. All of a sudden there were two green lights which appeared on a panel above him. They were both flashing – one more slowly and sporadically than the other. "_That_ is why I called you here."

"What is it?" Janet asked, feeling a strange tingle down her back. Just then the second light stopped blinking for a moment and then started up again. It did that a few more times while Thor moved faster than they'd ever seen him move.

"It is Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill", Thor said, staring at the lights. He blinked and then did something again with the crystal in his hand.

Suddenly, the second light went out and this time did not start again.

"What!" "Who?" Daniel and Janet spoke at the same time. Teal'c simply stared.

At that moment Sam appeared on the floor of Thor's ship. The two humans – and one Jaffa –looked at her in shock.

"NO!" Sam screamed. "NO. Let me go – put me back." She began to cry hysterically and Janet rushed over to her – her training kicking in even though she was so incredibly stunned to see her friend.

"Jack?" Daniel looked at Thor and then glanced at the single light which still blinked – and the one that had gone out. He closed his eyes, understanding what that meant.

"No", Sam was still crying, although she was getting quieter as her body began to give out. "Please Janet – tell him to put me back. I don't want this."

"Sam – it's okay. You're going to be okay." Her friend reached down and gently moved the hair out of Sam's eyes. She glanced up at Thor and nodded.

"You don't understand", Sam said softly. "I don't want to be okay. Please – let me go."

Thor touched the crystal and Sam was gone. "She is in the healing pod", he said. "I am retrieving O'Neill. There is interference and I am having difficulty but –" he made another motion and a light flared – and Jack – or his body – appeared.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Daniel looked at the broken and bloody body on the floor and knew. He lifted his head, to see Teal'c with the same awareness. They had arrived moments too late to save their friend.

* * *

Janet stayed by Sam's side until she was sure her sleeping friend would be okay. "I can't believe it's her", Janet said as she walked to the door. "I just – it's a miracle."

Daniel gave her a small smile, still feeling confused and shocked by everything that had happened. "I know. Who would have figured?" He paused. "I guess Thor did. And I guess I wasn't crazy", he said softly, referring to his strange feeling of earlier.

"You rarely are Daniel", Janet smiled. "Look after her. I'll be back."

Daniel watched over the woman who was more than a friend and suddenly was overwhelmed. Glad that no one else was there, he felt his emotions crumble and he began to shake and then to cry. He leaned up against the smooth sides of the pod and let out all his grief and despair and fear – and allowed that small grain of hope he'd carried for so many months to grow into belief and joy. He touched the pod, wishing he could touch his friend.

He had been sitting there for what seemed like hours when things changed. The lights on the pod dimmed and the glass began to retract. He sat up, startled and watched as the glow that had surrounded Sam also began to dim. Before long he could see her move and a few seconds later her eyes opened. They stared blankly at the ceiling and then slowly she turned towards him.

"Daniel?"

"Hi Sam", he said softly. "I'm glad to see you." He gave a little grin, knowing his words sounded inadequate – but since there was no way he could truly express how he felt, he left it at that.

She gave a small nod but didn't reply. Instead she looked around, trying to orient herself. "I'm on Thor's ship?"

"Yes." Daniel watched her carefully, wondering at her lack of response and what seemed like deadened emotions. "You're safe."

"No", she whispered, "no I'm not – never again."

He frowned and reached out and took her hand. It lay limply in his. "What do you mean? We're here – Teal'c and Janet will be back in a little while. And Thor is here and we'll all look after you."

She didn't answer, but simply lay there, barely blinking, staring at a point on the wall. After a while he could see her swallow and she turned to look at him. "How did you know where we were?"

"We didn't", Daniel said, his mouth twisted. "We – we've been looking since you disappeared but we had no idea where you'd be. We were here for a different reason when Thor found you. I don't know how he did it. I haven't had a chance to ask. We were – surprised."

She nodded and again looked at that point on the wall. "Too late", she murmured.

"Sam, you really are going to be okay. Your injuries were severe and Janet says if we hadn't found you in time – but we did, so it doesn't matter. Thor was able to heal you. It'll take a while before you get your strength back and you have to take it easy, but you'll be back to normal in no time."

"No I won't."

"Sam – for God's sake – what is it? What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you leave me? Why did you have to find me? I can't – I can't live like this Daniel, I just can't." The tears were now rolling down her cheeks and he looked frantically for a tissue or a towel or something. When he couldn't find anything he raised his hand and tried to wipe her tears with it.

"Sam, I don't understand. What happened to you? Why are you saying these things? We've found you and we're taking you home. We love you and we've all missed you so much. We need you Sam."

She just shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to tune out everything around her. "You don't understand", she finally murmured. "He was my life and he's gone."

"He? Was there someone on the planet with you? Did you – meet someone?"

Her body jerked and she turned towards him, feeling furiously angry at him – at Thor and Janet and at Teal'c – at all of those who had deprived her of being with the man she loved. "_Meet_ someone? What the hell are you talking about Daniel? I didn't meet anyone – Jack – it's Jack. He's gone!"

"Oh God" he exclaimed. How could they all have been so stupid? "Sam, Sam listen to me. Jack isn't dead. He's here – Thor has him in the healing pod. He's alive."

Sam was on her side, crying piteously. "You're lying. I saw him die. I heard him take his last breath and I felt his heart stop. He's dead Daniel. Don't lie to me – please don't lie."

"But I'm not!" Daniel reached out and grasped her hands and pulled them away from her face. He felt his heart almost break when he saw the despair plainly written there. "He did die – yes – but it was just as we arrived. Thor was able to bring him up and revive him. He hadn't been gone that long Sam – only a couple of minutes. I promise you – he's alive!"

Everything shattered. She didn't know what to do and her body convulsed. Then everything contracted, leaving her feeling as if she was nothing more than a tiny dot in the universe – and there was nothing else around her – her friends, her life, the man she loved – all were nothing.

Daniel looked in fear at the woman now in his arms. She had gone rigid and then her entire body had begun to shake. At the same time her eyes stared as if she was dead – "stop that" he told himself sharply. She wasn't dead – she was alive, although in very bad shape.

"Daniel Jackson, what is the matter?" Teal'c rushed over to his side.

"Oh thank God Teal'c. Get Janet – something's wrong with Sam."

Teal'c ran from the room and in a matter of seconds he returned, Janet in tow. "What's going on?" The doctor ran up to Daniel and looked at the woman in his arms. Sam's eyes were glassy and staring and her mouth hung open and she was panting.

"What happened?" she looked to Daniel. As she spoke she helped lay Sam down on the small cot in the pod and began to examine her.

"I don't know. She was upset when she woke up – she thought Jack was dead. When I told her he was still alive this is what happened."

"She's in shock", Janet replied. She grabbed her kit and quickly pulled out a syringe and a vial of medicine. In moments she had injected Sam and then she remained by the bed until the Major began to relax. In a few moments Sam was asleep.

"What the hell was that all about?" Daniel wanted to know. "She scared me to death."

"Shock, relief, just getting over major physical injuries – any and all of those things could have caused this. I'm sorry – I should have realized and been here. She must have seen the Colonel die."

"She did. She told me. She also indicated she didn't want to go on without him."

The three friends looked at one another, all of their eyebrows raised. "O – kay", Janet wanted to whistle. "I've given her a pretty powerful sedative, so she should sleep for a few hours. Hopefully by the time she wakes up she'll be a lot calmer."

"How's Jack?" Daniel glanced between Janet and Teal'c, both of whom looked more somber than they should have.

"Not good", Janet told him bluntly. "His heart is too damaged and Thor says there's really nothing he can do."

"What? What does that mean? He's just going to let him die?"

"No. Thor can keep him alive indefinitely in stasis until we can find another option."

"Another – what about a healing device?"

"Thor doesn't think that will work either. He says the injury is of too long standing and doesn't think it would be powerful enough. A sarcophagus would probably help, but we don't exactly have one of those handy."

"Heart transplant?" It would be ironic if Earth medicine was all that could help the Colonel.

"It may turn out to be our only option", she sighed. "I hate it though – it would mean the end of his career."

"Better than the end of his life Dr. Frasier", Teal'c said gently, looking down at Sam. "Samantha will also be pleased that he lives."

Daniel gave a strangled laugh. "She didn't look exactly _pleased_ when I told her. God – that was scary."

"I know and I'm sorry Daniel. You shouldn't have had to deal with that alone. I'm going to ask Nurse Day to stay with her and watch her. She'll call if Sam starts to wake up but both of you need to rest. It's been a – very long day."

"I want to see Jack", Daniel objected.

"Daniel, you need to sleep."

"I know Janet", he told her, "but – I only saw him when Thor brought him up and – I need to get the picture of him lying dead on the floor out of my head.

Janet grimaced in apology and reached out and touched his arm. "Of course. Just don't stay too long."

* * *

Daniel looked down at the Colonel and slowly closed his eyes. He'd hoped that seeing Jack alive, although sick, would be better than seeing him – _not_ alive. It was, but only marginally so.

The man _looked_ dead, he thought. His face was so thin, so pale and haggard looking. He had aged many years since Daniel had seen him, just over a year ago. Now he looked – old and fragile – and not the man he knew.

"Oh Jack", he murmured, placing his hand on the clear glass. "What have you done to yourself?"

"He was severely injured by what seems to have been a sharp implement." Thor walked up slowly and looked at Jack as well. "It happened many months ago and his heart was slowly deteriorating."

"Would he have known?"

Thor nodded. "Oh yes. I expect it was difficult for him to do very much at all. He would have been very ill."

"He would have hated that." Daniel kept looking, wondering what had happened to his friends. He frowned. "What's happening on the planet?"

"We received a message – from one of Terra's Council."

"Terra?" Thor had mentioned it before but Daniel hadn't really been paying attention. Now he was surprised.

"It is the name of the planet. There are three continents – and Terra Antigua is the one with the majority of the population."

"I see." Daniel knew that in another time and place he would have been more than interested in the planet below. Just the name 'Terra' intrigued him. "They were originally from Earth?"

"Yes." Thor stood silently beside the human as they both watched over the man they loved and admired. "We have not been here for many centuries but they have become a strong people."

"You said one of their Council members. What did she say?"

"Her name is Salea, and she officially asked for Asgard protection. Because of that I was able to speak to the Goa'uld and explain the situation to him. He is leaving although he is not pleased."

"Were many killed?"

"As far as we can tell, no one was killed, at least this time. The Go'auld weren't able to get through the defenses around Terra Antigua so decided to move their attack to Terra Incognita – where we found Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill", Thor explained. "They managed to get through the defenses there and were preparing to attack."

"So Jack and Sam just happened to get there at the wrong time." He snorted. "Sounds like definite Sg1 luck. Uh, do we know which System Lord?"

Thor glanced at him but finally nodded. "Ba'al", he said succinctly. "He is not happy."

"Good. If anyone deserves to be not happy it's Ba'al. In fact, I think he deserves to be _permanently_ not happy. I don't suppose there's anything you can do about that?"

"I am afraid not Dr. Jackson. At least know that for now, he is gone." Without warning Thor got a rather mischievous look on his face. "When I spoke with Ba'al", he told the archaeologist, "and told him to leave I called him 'Bocce' as O'Neill does."

Daniel laughed and patted his friend on the back. "Way to go Thor. Jack will love that." Daniel gently put his hand on the stasis pod. "Is there anything we can do?"

"I am afraid not at this time."

"What about cloning? Couldn't you - I don't know – make him a new heart or something."

"O'Neill cannot be cloned."

"Yeah, I knew that but I was kind of hoping. We'll just have to find a sarcophagus somewhere."

* * *

Sam groaned and moved restlessly. There was something bothering her, something she needed to do, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She slowly opened her eyes, surprised at how difficult that small task was.

"Major Carter?"

She let her head flop to one side, lacking the energy or desire to really respond. "Hmmm?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, it is I."

She nodded. After a few seconds she licked her lips. "Water?"

"Of course, I am sorry." He held a glass to her lips and helped her by holding her up slightly.

"Thanks." Her eyes checked out the room, but the only person with her seemed to be Teal'c. "Where is everyone?"

"Dr. Frasier is taking a short nap. She spent many hours with you and O'Neill. The nurses as well have retired to rest."

"Oh God", she whispered, her eyes opening wide in remembrance. "Is it true Teal'c?"

"That O'Neill is alive? Yes, it is true."

"I have to see him." She tried to push herself up but was too weak and collapsed back down in frustration. "Teal'c please, take me to him."

"I am sorry Major, but the Doctor left strict instructions you are not to move. You were very seriously injured and are still healing."

"I have to see him Teal'c. Please?"

"I –"

"He's dead, isn't he?" she whispered, stricken. "You don't want me to know – but he didn't make it."

"That is not true Major Carter." Teal'c sounded distressed. "Please, as soon as Dr. Frasier returns I am sure she will let you see him." When Sam refused to look at him he realized that she didn't believe what he was saying.

He reached out and took her hand in his large one. "Samantha?" he squeezed her hand. "Samantha look at me." It took a few seconds but eventually her eyes focused on him.

"What?"

"Have I ever lied to you Major Carter?"

Sam blinked, twice – "uh – no, at least not that I am aware of."

"Good – for I have not. I believe in honesty and truth, especially between friends and comrades. I am telling you the truth now. Colonel O'Neill _is_ alive. He is very ill however and Thor is keeping him in stasis until we can find the means to heal him."

Sam sucked in a breath, but after a brief moment let it out, slowly. She was not surprised and for some strange reason, Teal'c's words made her truly believe Jack was alive. Now all she had to do was to figure out how to heal him.

"It's his heart", she said softly. "He was attacked a few months ago and got stabbed in the heart. Medical care wasn't as good on Terra, although I don't know if they could have done more here. It was pretty bad."

"I am sorry Major Carter. It sounds like you had a difficult time on the planet."

She smiled slightly. "In some ways yes – in others – it was wonderful." She blinked rapidly to stop from crying again. "I really want to see him Teal'c. Can you – talk to Janet?"

He stood slowly and nodded. "I will get her." He went to turn away but stopped and faced the woman who had grown to be like a sister to him. "I cannot tell you how – happy – I am to have you back Samantha. I have missed you greatly."

She did cry at that, and reached out so that Teal'c stepped closer and she could give him a big hug. "And I missed you too. We both did."

"And do not worry", he said into her shoulder. "We will find a way to help O'Neill."

"Hey, what's this?" Daniel's voice interrupted their moment and they both pulled back, laughing.

"I was simply informing Major Carter that she and O'Neill were missed."

"He's right Sam. It was – awful. Was it bad for you guys?"

"No – not really, although we missed you and home. The people were nice." She stopped suddenly and held her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God – I forgot. You have to get Thor. The planet is being attacked by -"

"Goa'uld. Yes, we know Sam. That's why we came in the first place. Thor's handled it already. Someone by the name of – Administrator Salea, I think her name was, got in touch with him and asked for Asgard protection. The Goa'uld are gone."

"And the planet?"

"It's okay. They hadn't attacked yet, although it was a close thing. I guess they got through the planet's defenses where you and Jack were found. By the way – why were you there?"

"We were trying to get to the gate so we could get help for the Terrans – and get home." She thought about the last few days and shook her head. "We almost made it."

"You _did_ make it", Teal'c told her. "You are here and safe."

She smiled and this time accepted those words. "Yes, we are. But we _wouldn't_ have made it if you hadn't come by at" she frowned, "at that _precise moment_!" Her eyes grew round. "How in the world could you have known? I mean, what are the odds that you could have -"

Daniel reached over and gently placed a finger over her mouth. Teal'c stepped forward and smiled. "There are no odds in a miracle Major Carter", he told her. "And that is what this was. We have been expecting one."

"You've been _expecting_ a miracle."

"Yup", Daniel grinned. "Even Thor and General Hammond. That's why we kept looking cause if we'd gone by the odds – "

"You'd have stopped looking and we'd be dead", she whispered.

* * *

Janet woke up suddenly, her heart pounding. It took her a moment to remember where she was and all that had happened. She didn't know quite whether to feel overjoyed or worried – both she guessed. She was happy – so happy – to have Sam back, and the Colonel of course. She was just very worried about him. His condition and prognosis weren't good, at least by Earth standards.

"Let's just hope there's a non-Earthly solution", she muttered as she got up and put on her shoes.

Her first stop was to see Jack. One of her nurses was there – Christina - and told her that everything was the same.

"The – pod – is keeping him alive", Christina told her. "I've never seen anything like it."

"No, I wish we had one of these. But unfortunately it can't fix his heart." She sighed. "The damage was too extensive and it finally just gave out."

The nurse nodded, giving Janet a look of sympathy. She knew how close the doctor was to all of Sg1. "I'm sure Commander Thor will figure something out. He seemed pretty upset to see the Colonel like this as well."

Just then Teal'c entered the room. "Dr. Frasier, Major Carter desires your presence."

"Is she okay?"

"She is fine. She is much more relaxed but is anxious to see O'Neill." The big man looked over at his friend, frowning and looking worried. "How is he?"

"The same. Thor said he can keep him like this indefinitely."

"O'Neill would not like that. He would rather die than be left like this."

"I know Teal'c, although I don't think he'll mind it for a little while – until we figure out how to fix him."

"Do you believe we will be able to?"

"Hey, the fact that we found them both is a miracle. I refuse to start doubting now."

Teal'c smiled – a rare but welcome sight. "You are correct Dr. Frasier. We must have faith that he will once again be well."

"I'd better go and see Sam. Can you stay with him? I know he isn't aware but somehow -"

"He will know we are here, of that I am certain. I will stay."

She nodded and smiled and made her way over to the other room. She hoped Sam was okay. She'd missed her friend and needed her back.

"Sam?"

Sam opened her eyes and turned towards Janet. Carter smiled at the same time as the tears again dropped from her eyes. She wiped them away impatiently. "I can't seem to stop crying", she explained.

"You have a right to those tears", Janet replied, her own eyes suspiciously wet. "Hey you", she whispered, "it's good to have you back."

The two women fell into each other's arms. Daniel, after a quick smile, made his escape, knowing they needed to be alone. He headed over to once again talk to Thor and see if they could figure out a way to help Jack.

"Janet, I need to see Jack", Sam lifted her head and wiped her eyes. "I need to know – he's really alive."

Janet sighed and pulled up a chair beside Sam's bed, or whatever you called it. "He is alive Sam – I promise."

"But he's in bad shape, I know. Is he – conscious?"

"No. Thor has him in stasis. We can wake him up if we need to, but for now it's better that he rests. If being in stasis _is_ a rest. I'll have to ask."

"He did die you know."

"Yeah", Janet reached out and took Sam's hand. "But only for a couple of minutes. We got him in time."

"I – I watched him die Janet. I watched him and I wanted to be with him. When you brought me here I -"

"I know and I'm sorry. Not that we brought here but that – you had to go through all of that. It must have been awful."

"It was. He's been so weak for so long", she told her friend. "We both knew he was dying and I tried so hard to find the way home. When we finally _did_ it was too late." She closed her eyes. "I wanted to be with him."

"Sam – are you and the Colonel – I mean -"

"Yes", Sam answered simply. "We're married."

"_Married_. Oh boy. That's – I mean – you didn't think you were going to make it home?"

"I don't know." She laughed. "Does that sound stupid? I guess we kept hoping, but the rational part of my mind said it was impossible. At first I was angry, but then I realized if we didn't make it back, we could still have a good life."

"It wasn't a bad place?"

"No – in many ways it was very good. The people were kind and we made friends. We had jobs, a place to live. It was – it was good. Except for his health and that was hard."

"So that's why you were so upset", Janet mused. "It seemed more of a reaction than one would have for a teammate, even a close teammate like the Colonel."

"I love him Janet – more than I ever thought possible."

"Well then, we're just going to have to fix him up", she answered, giving Sam a small slap on the leg. "You're a genius and I'm a doctor so we can figure this one out."

"Thanks Jan", Sam reached up and grabbed her friend's hand and held it to her cheek. "I'm so glad you guys found us."

"So am I Sam, so am I."

_**Just a gentle reminder that reviews DO make me write and post faster. **_


	26. If Not Now

"I need to see him Janet." Sam looked up at her friend. "Please."

"Okay honey, I'm just waiting for –Teal'c!", Janet looked towards the door and smiled. "Your ride is here Sam."

"My ride?"

"Teal'c is going to help you. You're still too weak to walk."

"But Janet -"

"No Sam. There's no negotiating on this one. You can go see Colonel O'Neill, but Teal'c is going to carry you. I'll ask Thor to provide a cot so you can lie down when you're there."

Sam started to protest again but then stopped. What did her dignity matter? She needed to be with Jack, and if this was what it took ….! "Okay Teal'c, I'm ready."

It was only when she went to sit up that Sam realized just how weak she really was. It was a good thing Teal'c _was_ here. "What happened to me anyway?" she asked, for the first time curious.

"Four broken ribs, punctured lung, severely lacerated liver and kidney, broken pelvis – I could go on, but I think you get the point. You are _not_ walking."

Sam stared at her, shocked at the list of injuries. She looked down at herself, sure she couldn't have been healed so completely from everything.

"You'll be fine", Janet said gently. "Everything is healing but you _are_ weak. Just take it easy."

"Why could Thor heal me and not Jack?" she asked as Teal'c leaned down and lifted her up.

"I guess his machines help the body to regenerate. He said something about Jack's injury being too long standing and that the tissues were no longer able to repair themselves. I don't really understand it, but I believe him. If there was anything he could do, he would." Janet continued to walk alongside Teal'c down the sparse hallway. "He kept looking for you the whole time you were gone."

"Really?" Sam's face showed her surprise, and gratitude. "He really is a friend."

"We have arrived Major Carter." Teal'c stopped outside a panel door. "You must prepare yourself. O'Neill _is_ alive, but he is in stasis. He looks -" He closed his eyes and then opened them and gave her a smile. "He does not look his usual self."

"I know Teal'c", she leaned her head against his chest for a moment. "I've had to watch him grow weaker and weaker. We both knew -"

"Knew what Sam?" Janet reached up and laid her hand on the other woman's arm. "What did you know?"

"That he was dying. So you see, even if he looks bad –at least now there's hope."

"You are wise Samantha. Let us go. O'Neill will be glad of your presence."

The three of them entered the room silently. Nurse Arbole was standing next to the pod, checking out the readings. She looked up and smiled when she saw the visitors.

"He's doing just fine", she said. "All his vitals are steady. Thor double checked a few moments ago and confirmed that the Colonel is stable."

Teal'c walked slowly over to the chair which was next to the pod and gently set her down. He stepped back and stood beside Janet and the nurse.

Sam slowly reached out and put her hand on the glass. "My love", she whispered. Teal'c was right – he didn't look like himself. Although she'd seen him deteriorate over the past few months and knew he hadn't looked well, at least the spark had remained in his eyes and his spirit had been there. Now – now he looked like an empty shell.

She sobbed and laid her forehead on the clear barrier, wishing she could touch him. "He must be so cold", she whispered. He was naked with only a thin sheet covering him to his waist.

"The temperature is regulated Ma'am", the nurse told her softly. "He's not cold."

"He looks cold", she repeated. "And lonely. He looks so lonely."

Janet went to step forward, unable to bear the sound of anguish in her friend's voice. She'd only taken a step when Teal'c reached out and stopped her. "She needs this moment", he told the doctor. "She will be fine."

"Janet?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Can you – does he have to be like this?"

"What do you mean? Christina is right, he isn't cold."

"No – I mean – he's all alone, and what if he's frightened?"

"Oh honey – he's fine. It's just like he's sleeping."

"But he sometimes gets nightmares", she said, a catch in her voice. "And it helps when I'm there." Sam continued to look down at the still and pale man. "I need to be with him."

Janet blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. "Sam – he needs to be in there right now. It's keeping him alive."

"Please Janet."

"I will speak with Thor", Teal'c offered. "I shall return momentarily Samantha."

Sam nodded, not saying anything. He looked too still, she kept thinking. That wasn't like him. He was always restless, always moving. Even in his sleep there was something about him that was so alive. Now though – it looked like that light had been extinguished. A single tear dropped down onto the glass and ran its way down the side.

"I miss you", she whispered.

* * *

"There's got to be something we can do Thor." Daniel paced around the control room, trying to come up with some answer as to how to help Jack. He and the alien had been discussing it for a while but were no closer to a definitive answer than before. "A sarcophagus is a possibility. I mean, it would help, wouldn't it? Of course we don't have one, but if we did it could heal him, right?"

"It may, Dr. Jackson."

"I still say we could go get one", Daniel argued. "All we have to do is figure out where there is a System Lord and we go and take his or hers and bring it back. We could even go after Ba'al and grab his."

"It would be most difficult", Thor said gently. "And I doubt Colonel O'Neill would approve. He has stated on many occasions he never wants to use a sarcophagus again."

"Well, he wouldn't know anything about it until afterward. Of course, he'd probably kill me then, but it would have been worth it!"

"It is a possibility", Thor agreed.

"What? That he'd kill me?" Daniel said, sounding slightly shocked.

"No – that we could find a sarcophagus. But it might not help."

"What? But I thought you said - ?"

"I said it is more likely to help him than a healing device, but there are no guarantees. They are usually used immediately after injury or death and may not be as affective at this point."

"Okay – so it might work and we might find one, but we can't count on either. What else? You're sure cloning won't work? I mean, couldn't you reverse the anti-cloning – uh –_thing_ – you did to Jack and make him a new heart?"

"Normally we could, although it would be difficult. Unfortunately we cannot do so now, when he is this close to death. His body would not be able to handle the procedure."

"Great – Catch 22!"

"Catch 22? What is this?" Thor looked at him, a confused look on his face.

"Uh – it's a dilemma that you can't get out of because of two conflicting conditions. In other words we can't heal Jack by cloning, because he's not well enough to clone – or something like that."

There was a pregnant pause and then – "I see." Clearly Thor _didn't_ but he also wasn't willing to pursue the topic.

"So, what other options do we have?" Daniel resumed his pacing. "What about the Nox?"

"That is also possible", Thor nodded, "if they are willing to help us."

"Why wouldn't they be?" Daniel frowned at him. "They're pretty decent."

"They feel they have begun to interfere too much in other's affairs. The last time I spoke with them they told me they did not wish to get involved in others' problems."

"Great! Why is it that the people who _can_ help don't want to?"

"It is difficult for those with more advanced civilizations to not superimpose their own ways on peoples who are less developed. It is a danger of which we are all aware."

"Right – but the Asgard help and that hasn't seemed to cause any problems. You're the good guys of the galaxy."

Thor bowed his head. "Thank you. However, it was a difficult decision and there are still some who feel we should be less involved with other planets. I can try to contact the Nox, but there are no guarantees."

"Okay – fine. So let's think of a couple of other contingencies." He walked around the control room, aimlessly touching various things and once in a while stopping to stare out of the window at the passing planets and stars. "Hey Thor", he finally spoke after a few minutes of silence. "You don't know any Ancients still running around do you? I mean, one of them could heal him."

"I do not. The only one with Ancient blood who is strong enough to heal O'Neill – is O'Neill." Thor looked up from what he was doing. "Is this your 'Catch 22'."

"Yeah", Daniel sighed. "Too bad Sam didn't have Ancient blood. I don't suppose Nacquada enhanced blood would do anything?"

"I am afraid not", Thor shook his head. "I am continuing to look for a solution Daniel Jackson. Do not worry – we shall find something."

"Okay." Daniel sighed again. "I just hate leaving him in that thing." His voice faded out and he stared outside. "Hey Thor?' he turned abruptly and looked at the gray alien. "How come you found them now? I mean, you weren't actually looking for them, were you?"

"My scanners picked up the presence of a Goa'uld Mother ship orbiting Terra and after what had just happened, I decided to investigate. It was only as I too entered orbit that I discovered they were on the planet. I had input both O'Neill's and Major Carter's bio-signs into my ships sensors. When we neared the planet they alerted me." Thor stopped what he was doing and looked up, directly at Daniel. "I was surprised and I was not expecting this."

"Yeah, you and me both", Daniel's lip curled up slightly. "But the fact that we arrived just in time - my God, it was - "

"It was a miracle Dr. Jackson", Thor interrupted softly. "I believe we were expecting one."

"Thor?" Teal'c entered the control room at that moment, hurrying over to the alien. "I have come from Major Carter."

"How is she Teal'c?" Daniel stepped forward, his face showing his worry.

"She is getting stronger. She is with O'Neill and is concerned for him."

"He is stable Teal'c", Thor answered. "He will be safe in the stasis chamber."

"She is concerned that he is – cold and lonely." Teal'c continued gently.

"What?" Daniel's head snapped up. "But – he's unconscious. How can he be either?"

"He is not unconscious", Thor corrected. "He is in a state of dormancy and there is no awareness as far as we understand it. And he certainly cannot feel cold."

"I know, but Samantha is upset and frightened. She wants to be with him."

When Daniel looked over at Thor he couldn't help but think that it was true; the eyes really _were_ the windows to the soul. He'd never really noticed it before, but their alien friend had very expressive eyes.

"She cannot enter the stasis pod without herself becoming dormant." Thor apologized. "If she wishes to be with him I will have to bring him out of stasis."

"Can he survive?" Daniel frowned.

"Yes. I will have to monitor him closely and ensure that his systems are kept running with the help of the ships computers, but with that he should be fine – at least for a short time."

"Can you put him back into stasis if you need to?" Daniel questioned the Commander.

"Yes. I can bring him out for a short time and then return him later. O'Neill may then tell us the path he wishes to pursue."

"That may not be wise", Teal'c said calmly. "O'Neill will make a decision based on what he thinks is best for us, rather than for himself."

"You've got that right", Daniel grimaced. "Although I don't think any of the choices will harm us so we should be okay."

"Not if you decide to steal a sarcophagus from a system lord", Thor pointed out. "I shall return with you now and begin the process of bringing him out of stasis. Do not worry", he told his companions when he saw the worried looks on their faces, "I shall monitor him carefully and at the first sign of any deterioration in his condition I shall put him back into stasis." With those words the three of them – one human, two alien – headed towards the room where their friend was being kept alive with the aid of alien technology.

"Thor?" Sam sat up when they walked into the room. "Can you help him? He looks so – cold."

"He is not Major Carter, I assure you. However, I can take him out of stasis. He shall be conscious and you can speak with him. I will then monitor his condition."

"You can do that? But won't he – I mean, isn't being in stasis keeping him alive?"

"It is, although my ship can keep him alive outside of stasis as well. It will be more uncomfortable for him to be aware but I do not believe it will do him harm. In fact it may be good for him to regain awareness. If it appears as if he is weakening I shall return him to stasis."

Sam licked her dry lips and debated whether it was right to have Jack brought back to consciousness. Would he be better left like this? She regarded Thor carefully. He wouldn't do anything to harm Jack, she was sure, and it would be so good to speak with him. Even now a part of her doubted that he really was alive.

She nodded once. "Do it – but at the first sign of trouble you'll put him back?"

"Indeed I shall Major Carter. You do not need to worry."

"Have you figured out any kind of solution for his heart Thor?" Janet asked. "Sam and I wondered about the Nox."

After Thor repeated what he had told Daniel, they all watched as the Asgard Commander made some adjustments with his controls. He finally stopped and turned to face Sam. "I shall take him out of stasis now. You may wish to be ready for when he awakens."

* * *

Jack had known, the instant the Goa'uld weapon had struck the earth beside them, that it was the end. He had just prayed that it was only so for him and that Sam could still make it. When he had heard her voice he had rejoiced inside that she was alive. But then, in his final few seconds he had understood that she didn't want to go on – that her choice was to die with him. He had rebelled at that thought, but then had accepted it, knowing there was no longer anything he could do. His time in this world – and his ability to affect it – had come to an end.

The thought had saddened him while at the same time it had comforted him. His fear, and his expectation, had always been that he would die alone. To know that she was with him and that she would stay with him, brought him a feeling of peace. He closed his eyes and let go of this world.

"Dad! Dad come on! You promised."

Jack blinked, for a moment confused, but then he realized he was in his kitchen. He looked down at himself to see that he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. It must be Saturday then, he decided, although he couldn't remember having woken up, or gotten dressed. His brain felt foggy, but then he heard Charlie calling for him again so he made his way to the back door.

"Charlie?" he called. His son was in the backyard, tossing a baseball up in the air and catching it in his mitt. At Jack's call he turned and grinned.

"Hey Dad, come on. You promised you'd throw the ball to me."

Jack suddenly grinned in return – to anyone watching it was obvious they were father and son - and bounded out of the house. He couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more than play ball with his son.

"Okay, enough!" he called to Charlie. He wiped the sweat from his eyes and took a deep breath. They'd been tossing the ball around for what seemed like hours. "I'm hungry, how about you?"

His son grinned again and came running and Jack laughed. What a silly question to ask a nine-year old boy. Charlie was _always_ hungry.

"I bet your Mom has something good to eat", he said. "Come on." He started to walk back to the house but Charlie had stopped and was looking at him with an expression that should never, ever be on a child's face. "What is it? What's wrong?" He could feel his heart start to beat faster and knew that there was something – something beyond his reach. He also knew instantly that it was something he would rather not know.

"Mom's not here Dad", Charlie said softly. "It's just you and me."

"What?" He looked around but things suddenly looked strange – hazy. "Where is she?"

"She's not here – not yet."

"Not _yet_? Why where did she go?"

"She didn't go anywhere. Dad." Charlie walked to him and took his hand. "You know – look inside you. You _know_!"

Jack stared down at the young boy holding his hands and felt a terrible fear grown inside him. He pulled his hand away and stepped back. "No – no. What is this?" He looked around again, but now, all he could see was Charlie. Everything else – his house, his yard, the neighbors houses – all were gone. "Where am I?" he whispered, but then he stopped. He knew.

Charlie just nodded and reached out and took his hand again. "It's okay Dad – we're here together."

"But – ." He looked around, expecting to see – what? What did he hope to see? He closed his eyes, now recognizing the truth. She hadn't followed him. He laughed softly – although it was more of a sob than a laugh – she had made it. She had survived and he had not. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad. He stopped himself. Of course he was happy. She had been too young to die. "Have a good life Sam", he told her softly. "I love you and I'll miss you more than you'll know – but – have a wonderful life." His heart felt like it was breaking – at the same time he could feel it letting go. A part of him wondered at that – but then he turned to look at the boy standing in front of him. Maybe that's what heaven was – a place where he could leave pain behind.

With a deep breath – an easy breath - he knelt down and reached out and took his son in his arms. "Oh God", he murmured. He had always wondered if he would see his son again – if he _deserved_ to see him, or if he'd ever have the chance to _tell_ him. "I'm so sorry", he whispered, finally getting that chance.

"It's okay Dad", Charlie answered, giving him a hug. "I love you and you don't have anything to be sorry about. It was my fault, not yours. You told me and told me – and I disobeyed you. Please don't be mad at me, okay?"

Jack choked back a cry and clutched his son even tighter. "I'm not Charlie – I'm not mad. I love you too – so much."

"Good." Charlie pulled back slightly and gave another of his impish grins. "So if you're not mad, can we go get ice cream?"

Jack laughed and stood up. Ruffling his son's hair he took a step forward, only to feel a sudden strange pulling sensation. "No", he whispered. He looked down at himself, only to see his body begin to lose its form, it's 'solidness'. "No", he said again. He looked up at Charlie, tears in his eyes. Charlie was smiling.

"It's okay Dad", he said. "I guess you still have some things to do. It's okay", he said again. "I'll just toss the ball around a bit more and when you're ready we can go for ice cream. It won't be long – not for me. Just remember I love you and you don't have to feel sorry."

"I don't understand." He wanted to reach out, to hug his son again, but he could no longer move. He was frightened and didn't know what was happening. All he knew was he didn't want to lose his son – not now, not again.

"You won't lose me Dad", Charlie told him, as if he could read his thoughts. "I'll be here and for me it's – just a few minutes. You still have some things to do back there – you'll come when it's time." He got another mischievous look. "Say hi to Sam for me. I look forward to meeting her – one day."

Jack swallowed and felt himself begin to fade. Just before he went – out – what a strange thought, he heard Charlie speak again.

"And tell Mom I love her. When she's ready she can come and make me those great cookies!"

There was a moment of – blankness, of nothing – and then he heard noises, although he couldn't tell what they were. He had no idea where he was or what was going on, but he knew he was awake and, and _alive _and that he'd better figure this out quickly.

He took a breath – although it took much more effort than he'd thought it should. He felt strange – not good like he had with Charlie, but weak and in some pain and totally disoriented.

Charlie! Had that been real? He could feel the tears gather in his eyes. Yes – yes it had been real. He didn't know why, or how, but this time he knew that it had truly been Charlie and that his son was safe. The feeling of relief and of – joy – was indescribable.

"Jack."

What? What was that? He had heard something but –

"Jack, wake up."

His name. Someone was calling him and telling him to wake up. He took another – painful - breath and slowly opened his eyes.

"That's it Jack! We're right here – all of us. Just open your eyes and look at us."

Rather than obey the voice, for some reason Jack decided to close his eyes. He needed to figure this out – to orient himself. He was positive that he should know what was happening – except he felt too divorced from everything. Until he could figure it out he wasn't going to do anything anyone told him to do. Think Jack, think.

Okay – he was Jack O'Neill – uh – _Colonel_ Jack O'Neill. He was an officer in the – something. In the _Air Force_ – that was it. He served with some people – who were they? He tried to figure it out but the voice of someone in the background kept distracting him. Of _course_ it sounded like Daniel – he could be _so_ irritating at times.

_Daniel!_ Daniel Jackson. Sg1 – Teal'c, General Hammond, Janet, Cassie, the SGC – the _Stargate!_ It all came back in a rush of memories. But there was one person he was forgetting – one person that meant more than all the others.

"Sam?"

"I'm here Jack. Open your eyes my darling. You're safe."

This time he opened them and looked – he looked to see her, standing over him, love shining in her eyes. "I'm – alive?" he asked, remembering Terra and their long walk – and his death.

"Yes. Thor rescued us in the nick of time. You're alive."

He stared at her, knowing something was wrong. How could he be alive? He had died – he _knew_ he had. "I died", he whispered to her. He stared into her eyes, needing to see the truth, to know that it _was_ really her, for she had been with him and she knew.

"You did", she said, the tears slowly making their way down her cheek – the trail leading to her pale lips. "But Thor brought you to his ship immediately and was able to revive you."

He watched her carefully, but could see the truth in her eyes. He nodded, not ready yet to analyze his feelings on being brought back. He hated the thought that he was so torn – torn between being with his son – and being with Sam. It was a horrible choice and one he wasn't ready for.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice interrupted his thoughts again.

His eyes searched the room until they came to his friend - who was watching him carefully, a sober expression on his face.

"Space monkey", he whispered. "It's good to see you."

Daniel slowly allowed a crooked grin to appear on his face. "And you too Jack. We missed you."

He nodded and then his eyes moved to the person behind Daniel. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust. "Teal'c?"

"It is I O'Neill. I too am glad to see you returned to us."

"Thanks. I – thank you." Once more his eyes scanned the room, his eyes beginning to clear. He recognized Thor's ship – and realized at that moment that the alien was there also, along with a young woman he didn't recognize and – Janet?

His brow creased in confusion. His brain still felt so foggy – so muddled. What was Janet doing on Thor's ship? He could feel himself start to become anxious, sure that something was wrong. Did they need him? He had to get up, to get moving, but he didn't seem to have the strength to move.

"Jack!" Sam reached down and gently stroked his cheek. "It's okay. You're fine and all you need to do is sleep. We're on our way home – just rest."

He watched her for a few seconds and then a sudden wave of – something – rushed over him. It took him a moment to identify it, but then knew it was peace. She was still here, with him and he could rest.

His eyes began to droop. "Charlie says to say Hi", he murmured softly, as his eyes finally closed – and he was asleep.


	27. The Heart of the Matter

_**Apologies for the delay. I was on the road travelling and too busy to write.**_

"Jack?"

He opened his eyes and looked up into a return to life. The face of the person he had thought he had left behind was looking down at him. "Sam?" he whispered.

"How are you feeling?" There were tears on her face and it looked as if she'd aged ten years.

He took a breath and licked his lips, not sure what to say. After a moment's thought he gave a small shrug. "Okay I guess. Where -?" He glanced around and she could see the moment he remembered. "Thor's ship, right?"

"Yes. Do you remember what happened?"

He thought again and then nodded, his thought processes slowed by his weak physical condition. "Yeah. I di - " he blinked and again licked his lips, not wanting to even say it. He didn't speak for a moment, instead he looked around the room. "Where is everyone?"

"They went to eat and rest. You've been sleeping for hours."

"I guess being dead makes you tired." It was only when he saw Sam's stricken face that he realized what he'd said. "I'm sorry", he gave a small grimace. "I'm kind of out of it I guess."

"Do you – remember it?" She hadn't planned on asking, but the words seemed to escape before she realized.

"Being dead? A little. It was – okay." He stared at the ceiling, thinking that that didn't describe it at all. Thinking about seeing his son he could only describe it as wonderful.

"Did you -" No, she'd better stop there. If he wanted to tell her he would.

"Did I what? he turned his face towards her. "Sam?" he pressed her when she didn't say anything more.

"I just – you said something, when you woke up the first time."

He tried to remember, but everything was too hazy. "What? What did I say?"

"You told me – Charlie said hi."

"Oh." He immediately felt a wave of pain hit him, experiencing again that horrible sense of loss he'd felt as he had begun to return to life. The funny thing was, though, that even as he recognized it, it seemed to fade away. "I – saw him", he admitted. He smiled softly in remembrance, suddenly feeling a tremendous sense of relief and – joy was too strong a word – but he did feel gratitude and acceptance, and that was enough for him, for now. "It was good", was all he could say.

"You didn't want to come back", she said and it was not a question. She winced when she realized that she sounded – hurt. She hadn't meant to let him know.

"At first – no", he admitted, wanting to reach out and comfort her. "But Sam - I – it wasn't that I didn't want to be with you it's just –"

"You wanted to be with your son more. That's okay, I understand."

"No – no, that's not it." He looked away and thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell her. "It's just that I've missed him so much", he whispered. "I – seeing him again was –" he shook his head, unable to describe how he had felt. "It wasn't a choice between the two of you. I could never choose – please believe me."

The tears gathered in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. What could she say? She knew if he _had_ had a choice he would have stayed with his son. It wasn't that she doubted that he loved her, but his first loyalty and strongest feelings had to be for Charlie.

She felt his hand touch her leg and lifted her head to look at him. "What?" she asked when she saw his worried frown.

"I love you you know."

"I know", she smiled. "I never doubted that."

"Don't – seeing Charlie was wonderful and I can't tell you – what I feel, knowing that he's okay and that he's waiting for me when it _is_ my time."

She continued to look at him, wondering where he was going with this.

"But – I couldn't have chosen between you", he told her again. "I love you so much and I'm – glad", he smiled, "glad to be here. At first it was hard to leave him – but now I'm okay with it." He moved his hand but he was too weak to grasp hers. "Sam, please?" he asked.

She felt a burst of such intense love for this man she didn't know what to do. Her smile lit up the room and she moved towards him. Taking his hand in hers she leaned over and rested her head beside his. "I love you so much Jack. I – don't die on me again, okay?"

He gave a small laugh and closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. "I'll try although – Thor couldn't fix me, could he?" He'd known it as soon as he'd woken up this time. He was being kept alive by machines but his heart was gone – had given out on the planet. He was only alive because of Thor – a situation he didn't exactly enjoy.

"No", she admitted, "but we're looking at various options. We're going to make sure you get better."

"Nice to know", his lips quirked. "So, what are these options?"

"Well, Daniel wants us to find a sarcoph-"

"No." His lips thinned and his eyes flashed. "No way – no sarcophagus."

"But Jack, that might be -"

"No Sam – you've got to promise me. They – suck out your soul. Besides which, where would we get one?"

"Well, both Daniel and Teal'c figure we can go find a system lord and steal one."

Jack gave a small laugh and shook his head. Those two! "Tell them they are _not _to steal a sarcophagus. What are the other options", he sighed.

"The Nox."

"Well, that sounds better but you don't sound too confident."

"Thor says the Nox aren't too willing to do anything to help anymore. I guess they're worried about interfering with other cultures."

"I wouldn't mind if they interfered but – okay, so they're not likely. Anything else?"

"Uh – transplant."

"You mean – just a regular Earth-type transplant?"

She nodded. "That's our last choice but it's an option."

He frowned, not liking the sound of that. It would mean the end of his career in the Air Force – although maybe that was finished anyway. He hadn't had time to really contemplate what was going to happen when they got back to Earth. "Okay – let's hope there's something else. What about a healing device."

"Afraid not. Your injury is of too long standing and Thor doesn't think it would be strong enough. We can ask the Tokra to try anyway, to see if it helps even a bit."

He nodded, but suddenly felt depressed. What if he ended up having to live like this? He couldn't do it – he'd rather die than be an invalid the rest of his life.

"Stop it Jack", his loving wife scolded. "We _are_ going to find a way."

"Okay wife", he answered, trying hard not to be pessimistic. He suddenly realized that he hadn't even asked about Sam. "Hey, how about you?" Jack opened his eyes wide, seeming to only now realize that Sam was on a cot next to him – which seemed rather strange. "Were you hurt?"

"Just a bit", she replied, not looking at him.

"_Sam_! Come on, this is me. I know when you're not telling the truth. What happened to you?"

"I was injured in that blast too. Thor was able to heal me because the injuries were new. I'm totally fine now but Janet is making me rest. I'm mostly just tired."

"Well then, you should sleep. I expect you haven't, have you?"

"Well -"

"Sam!"

"Okay – no, not in the last little while. I was worried about you."

"I'll be fine – at least I will be when I can get this damned heart of mine fixed." He sighed.

"I know you will – and we _will _figure it out. Daniel even asked Thor if he knew any Ancients running around that could heal you."

"Really?" Jack rolled his eyes. The Ancients weren't his favorite aliens, even if they weren't around anymore. "And what did Thor say?"

"That you were the only one who could do it, and you can't heal yourself."

"Hell, I can't heal _anyone_", he said with a snort. "I have no idea how to access any of that stuff and I'd rather not stick my head into one of those things just to figure it out."

"No, I definitely don't want you to do that either. So, unfortunately no Ancients. We'll just have to figure out something else."

"Except Jon", O'Neill mused distractedly.

"Jon?" Sam frowned.

"You know – mini-me."

"Mini – _oh_ – you mean your clone?"

"Hey, don't call him that", he shivered. "It gives me the creeps. I don't know if he could heal me or not. Maybe that's no different than me trying to heal myself." He frowned, trying to figure it out, but he was still too tired and weak.

"Oh my God!" Sam sat up straight and stared at the wall. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"What? That it's the same as healing myself?"

"No – your cl – uh Jon. _He_ can help you."

"I don't know – I doubt he has any more of an idea how to access that Ancient crap than I do."

"No – that's not what I meant. Look, if it had been anyone else but you Thor could have cloned just your heart and – and uh"

"Replaced it with a new model?" he interrupted sarcastically.

"Uh – yeah. But you can't be cloned – Thor saw to that."

"Since he did it, why can't he just _undo_ it? Wouldn't that be easier than all these other ideas?"

"He said it's difficult and that you're not well enough to undergo the procedure – but Jon is!" She pushed herself up until she was standing and then leaned down to kiss the still ill-looking man. "You're brilliant Sir!"

"I know", he grinned, although he immediately grew serious. "And no way. Jon is – he has his own life now. We can't bother him with this."

"I doubt if he'd see this as us _bothering _him. If he's anything like you", she stopped. "Of _course _he's like you, he _is _you – uh so to speak", she finished quickly.

He rolled his eyes. "I still don't think it's a good idea. There's got to be some other way. I think we should try the Nox."

Realizing that he was getting upset she quickly agreed and left it at that. Changing the subject completely, they chatted about Daniel and Teal'c until Jack fell asleep. As she looked at Jack's drawn face, she knew she was going to speak with Thor about Jack's clone. She wondered briefly where Jon O'Neill was and knew a moment's guilt that she'd all but forgotten about him.

* * *

"Jon O'Neill", she announced, walking into the room which held her teammates, Janet and the nurses.

"What?" Daniel squinted up at her.

"Jon O'Neill", she repeated. "We didn't think of him."

"Of who?" Daniel continued to look confused. The others in the room looked as confused and there was utter silence. It was Teal'c who finally figured it out.

"I believe she refers to O'Neill's clone", he said. "He uses the name Jon instead of Jack."

Daniel and Sam both stared at him. He looked between them and frowned. "What is wrong?"

"You – uh – you just called him Jack", Daniel said, sounding surprised.

"Is that not his name?" Teal'c raised his brows.

"It is, but neither of us have ever heard you use it", Sam explained. "It sounded – strange."

Teal'c looked as if he thought the humans were slightly crazy. "It _is_ his clone to which you refer?"

"Yes", Sam replied. "Jack was the one who thought about him. I'd forgotten all about him."

Daniel looked disgusted at himself. "God, why didn't we think of him before? We'd better mention it to Thor and see if he thinks he can clone him."

"Yes. We did not do anything to prohibit him from being cloned", Thor answered, when they spoke to him a short time later. "I should have thought of him as well. He will be a perfect match."

"Uh – will it matter that he's already a clone? I mean, won't there be some – uh – degeneration by cloning a clone?" Daniel looked worriedly at the alien.

"There will be", Thor nodded. "However, it is so slight as to be virtually undetectable and will not affect O'Neill's health", he told them. "The problems the Asgard face are because we have been cloning for thousands of years. It takes that long before the clones begin to break down in any serious way. Jon O'Neill's heart should work well."

"So all we have to do is find him and ask him if we can clone his heart." Daniel groaned. "I hope he'll be willing to do it."

"I'm sure he will be", Sam said confidently, although inside she didn't feel _quite_ so confident. "I mean, to all intents and purposes he _is_ Jack."

"So, we'd better get to Earth and ask him", Daniel said suddenly impatient. "Thor, it won't hurt him will it? There's no way Jack would do this if he thought it would harm Jon."

"It will not", Thor told them. "I will simply have to take a microscopic piece of heart tissue – it will be so small that he will not even know. Once that it done I can clone the heart and replace O'Neill's present one with the new one."

"How – hard is that?" Daniel wanted to know. "I mean, on Earth transplants are pretty tricky."

"It is not difficult", Thor told him. "And O'Neill shall be like new. He will not know the difference."

"I don't suppose he'll have to worry about rejection since it's his own tissue."

Thor nodded but didn't say anymore. Later on Sam, Janet, Daniel and Teal'c were talking quietly together as Jack still slept. "I wonder where he is?" Daniel pondered. "I feel bad we didn't keep in touch."

"He is in university", Teal'c informed him. "He is doing well."

The other three turned and stared at the Jaffa. It was Janet who spoke. "Uh, how do you know that Teal'c?"

"I have seen him", he informed them. "I have kept in touch with Jon O'Neill. It has been some months, but I helped him move into the university dormitory."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Daniel looked extremely ticked off.

"Jon O'Neill asked me not to", he told them quietly. "He did not want to interject himself in your lives."

"I feel terrible", Janet spoke suddenly. "I mean, he is Colonel O'Neill – at least he had all the same memories – and he must have felt like he'd lost everything, us included."

"It would have been awkward though", Sam said. "I'm glad you stayed in touch Teal'c. And you say he's okay? He's actually in university?"

"He is", Teal'c nodded his head. "And he is doing very well. He says he enjoys it and appeared to have made friends. Do not feel guilty for not remaining in his life. I believe he wanted to start again. He seems happy."

"What's he studying?" Sam wanted to know. She had found out on Terra about Jack's academic background and hadn't been too surprised to learn he'd studied English. She'd been more surprised to learn he had done a minor in art history, and she'd been forced to swear she would never tell Daniel. She was curious to know whether Jon was going the same direction as the original.

"He has not declared his major yet", Teal'c informed them.

Sam almost grinned to hear their Jaffa friend speak so casually about university and 'majors'.

"He is involved in the theater program", Teal'c told them, "and he was in the college production of Romeo and Juliet".

Daniel choked. "_What_? You're kidding?"

"I am not", Teal'c answered solemnly.

"Uh, who did he play?" Janet asked, grinning at the thought of Jack - or mini-Jack – acting.

"He was the character Mercutio. He was very good."

The others all got a kick out of Jack in a Shakespeare play, although Sam knew it wasn't really that surprising. Jack had a love of literature and he was already a character. She could actually picture him becoming an actor.

"Jack doesn't want us to ask Jon", she suddenly declared. "He doesn't want to bother him."

"_Bother _him? What an idiot!" Daniel shook his head. "Well I for one am not going to pay attention to him. Teal'c, maybe you should approach Jon?"

If Teal'c was uncomfortable with the thought he didn't say anything. Sam felt guilty again, knowing that she should really be the one to speak with Jon O'Neill. It had hit her, however, that he must have had the same feelings for her as her Jack. He had confessed to her, months ago, that he'd been in love with her for years. She had no idea how Jon would react to seeing her or whether he still harbored the same feelings.

Teal'c was watching her closely and she suspected he knew what she was thinking. Suddenly the thought of seeing young Jon O'Neill made her feel terribly uncomfortable. She knew she would face him though – the life of the man she loved was at stake.


	28. Bring Beer

"So Jack – you and Sam - married, huh?" Daniel was sitting beside him, keeping him company while Sam slept. He'd insisted she go rest as she was ready to collapse and he was worried. He was glad to have Daniel however – it kept his mind off how crappy he was feeling.

He knew Thor was doing everything possible to keep the pain down and to keep him conscious. Still, it was difficult with a heart that was basically kaput – and being kept alive by some kind of alien device. He hated it, and yet didn't want to complain. They were all trying so hard.

He eyed his friend suspiciously. He knew everyone was probably dying of curiosity about him and Sam and figured he might as well tell his friend what he wanted to know. He'd only torment them both until he found out.

"Yeah", he answered, not saying anymore. He could still be evil if he tried.

"Yeah? That's all you have to say?" Daniel looked peeved. "I mean, what _happened_?"

"What happened? We were on Terra, I asked her to marry me and _voila_ – we're married."

Daniel sighed and looked at his friend askance. "You're going to make me beat this out of you, aren't you?"

Jack grinned. "Probably. I haven't had this much fun for a long time."

"_Jack_! Come on. You might as well tell me everything. I'm gonna find out you know."

This time Jack sighed. "You'll just bug Sam to death, won't you?"

"Of course!" The younger man's face crinkled with glee. "And she can't resist me."

"Well she damn well better or I'll have to shoot you."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Not like _that_. Come on – give."

"Okay fine, but you'll be sorry. Well, we were a little bit hurt when the death glider crashed -"

"It _crashed_?"

Jack sighed – knowing it was going to be a long story.

"So, did you really not think you were going to make it home?" Daniel finally asked, once Jack had finished telling of their time on Terra.

"I – hoped we would, but I didn't think it likely", he answered. "We tried for months to find something out about the gate but there was nothing. It was really only through luck that we found it in the end."

"Luck my ass!" Daniel snorted. "It was a combination of Carter brilliance and O'Neill -"

"O'Neill _what_?" Jack looked at him suspiciously.

"O'Neill obstinacy."

"Right – she's brilliant and I'm pig-headed!"

"Well, I didn't call you pig-headed but – yeah basically, that's right."

"Mmmm", Jack pursed his lips. "Okay – so fine. Anyway, between the two of us we found the damn thing."

"And how far was it from where you were living to the gate?" his friend wanted to know.

"A few hundred kilometers", Jack told him, scratching his nose. "Or more maybe. Sam would know."

"And you _walked_?"

"Not the whole way. We took a boat part way and then a traxet."

"A what?"

"Traxet – it's a fancy automobile, with big -"

"It's a go-kart", his loving wife interrupted, a grin on her face. "You should have seen him squashed into the thing."

"Yeah, but it got us most of the way to where we wanted to go. I think I'd like to get one and take it to Earth. Think how much fun it would be."

"You're _not_ driving one of those things on Earth", Sam informed him. "There's no way I'm going to be known as the wife of the 50 year old kid!"

"Awww Sam. I wouldn't drive it down the street. Come on – you'd like to have one too, admit it."

Daniel was looking back and forth between his two friends, astonished at their relationship. "You guys really are married, aren't you?"

Both Jack and Sam turned to him, their eyebrows raised in identical looks of surprise. "Of course we are Danny", Jack said. "We told you that."

"But it wasn't real until this minute", he informed them. "But you're acting – hell, I still can't believe it!"

Jack and Sam simply grinned at him – and he knew he was in a heck of a lot of trouble now that these two were a couple.

* * *

"So Sam – married?" Janet was looking at her friend in wonder. "I must admit I never thought I'd see the day when the two of you got together."

"Really?" Sam asked with a frown. "Why not?"

"Oh, not because I didn't think you belonged together, and God knows you were both crazy about each other –"

"We were not", Sam interrupted. "At least – there's no way you could tell that."

"Of course there was", Janet said calmly. "I saw you when either one or the other of you was injured. Neither of you could hide how you felt. I mean, I saw Colonel O'Neill that time he had to zat you twice. He looked like his world had ended."

"Really?" Sam had wondered how he'd handled the whole thing but had always been too afraid to ask. "God", she suddenly thought of something. "You don't think General Hammond knew?"

"I'm sure he did as did Teal'c and Daniel. But we all knew you weren't doing anything about your feelings so no one was going to make an issue of it."

"But now we have", Sam whispered. "I wonder if we'll be in trouble."

"I doubt it. All you have to do is say you didn't think you were going to make it back. You were gone for over a year so no one's going to blame you."

Sam nodded. "I hope not."

"So tell me", Janet said, inching over to sit right beside her friend. "What's it like being married to Jack?"

Sam laughed and proceeded to tell her friend some funny stories of their life together.

"We have arrived", Thor announced, walking into Jack's room. All of his friends were with him, although he was sleeping at that moment.

He couldn't do much more than hold short conversations and then sleep again. The machines, although keeping him alive, couldn't restore him to full health and so he was extremely weak and tired. It was hard for the others to see him like this and made them all that more determined to find a solution.

"To Earth?" Sam could feel her eyes fill with tears. This was a moment for which she'd almost – almost but not quite – given up hope.

"Indeed", Thor nodded and she almost giggled. He and Teal'c could be brothers! "Would you like to have me send you down to the SGC?"

"No", Sam answered, looking down at Jack. "I'll wait."

"But Sam -" Janet started to object but it was Teal'c who reached out and touched her arm.

"I understand", he said. "Samantha Carter-O'Neill wishes to wait until O'Neill is well enough to return with her."

"Thank you Teal'c", she said softly. "That's right. Can you – can you tell General Hammond? I – hopefully it won't be long."

"We shall tell him Major Carter-O'Neill", Teal'c bowed his head once. "And we look forward to welcoming both you and O'Neill home."

* * *

He entered his apartment and dumped his backpack on the floor. With a sigh he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. What he wouldn't give for a beer right now, he thought. It was too hard to get any on a regular basis since he still couldn't buy any as he was officially '19' years old. He'd have to wait two more years before he could legally buy alcohol.

Every once in a while he'd con an older student into picking some up for him, but he didn't want to make a practice of it. For one thing, he didn't want to get anyone into trouble and for another he figured he could do just fine without alcohol.

He'd gone through some tough times since he was – what born? Since he first realized that he was a clone and not the original Jack O'Neill he'd had to give up everything in his life. He'd started out trying to feel positive but after the first couple of weeks with a bunch of silly teenagers he'd wanted to jump off the nearest bridge.

Don't joke about that Jon, he said to himself. He hadn't actually been suicidal, but he had been depressed and alcohol had been very tempting. Not wanting to turn into a teenaged/middle-aged alcoholic, he'd sworn off any drink until he felt emotionally stronger.

Now he was feeling pretty good, although there were still days when he found it hard. The hardest part was that he was _lonely_. He'd lost all his friends – all except Teal'c – and he hadn't realized how hard that would be. He thought back fondly to team nights with Sg1 – to street hockey games with some of the guys from the SGC – to evenings at Hammonds reminiscing about years gone by. Now he had no one really – no one who had known him from before.

He laughed and took another swig of soda. Before? Before what? He was actually only a few years old. His memories weren't real – at least they weren't real to _him_. They'd happened to the real Jack O'Neill. He was nothing but a copy – a younger, more handsome copy, he smirked, but a copy.

He grew sober and took a deep breath. It was Friday night and it had been a long week. He'd had midterms and two papers due and he'd had to pull a few all-nighters. He was exhausted now – but at the same time felt restless. He'd been invited out partying with some fellow students, but hadn't really felt like getting drunk, going dancing – or probably getting laid.

Okay – the getting laid part sounded pretty good. It was the morning after – the waking up part that _didn't_. He was past the age where casual sex was something he could contemplate without care. He was too old – mentally – and he knew himself well enough that it would only make him feel lonelier.

He wondered if there was anyone out there for him. Most of the college girls he met were just too young, too inexperienced (oh, not in sex – but in other things that really mattered) to be true companions. He needed someone who knew something of the world and who understood suffering. He grimaced – that sounded rather macabre. But it was true. He had a whole host of bad memories, even if they weren't really his, and he needed someone who would understand.

He thought then about Sam – Carter – and felt a sharp pang. He'd been in love with her, had _loved_ her, but had known it could never be. Still, she was his perfect match – at least she was the original's perfect match. He didn't know if anyone could ever compare with her.

He hoped – but doubted – that O'Neill senior had finally taken his courage in his hands and told her how he felt. Knowing him – knowing him _very_ well, he doubted it. Still, it would be nice to think that one of them, at least, knew a little happiness.

"Okay, you're growin' maudlin O'Neill", he said loudly to himself. "Stop this now. You have a good life – you're getting a good education, you're healthy and strong and you have nothing to complain about. So, what are you going to do on a Friday night?"

He ended up turning on the TV and making himself a sandwich. Sitting down he grinned. Yeah, his life wasn't that bad. He was enjoying college and the chance to have a whole new life. Maybe he _should_ just go out and get laid, he thought. It had been a long time – and he was only 19. His hormones were rampaging.

* * *

"This is where he lives?" Daniel asked as they walked down the street towards the small apartment complex.

Teal'c looked at him with his brows raised. "Indeed", was all he said.

Daniel sighed – okay, so it had been a stupid question, but he was _nervous_. He didn't know what to say to mini-Jack and felt guilty as hell that he'd never been in touch.

"We are here", Teal'c informed him. They were standing outside the front door and Teal'c had pressed a security button.

"Hello?" the voice from the other end of the speaker sounded just like Jack. Daniel gulped. Crap, he didn't want to be here.

"It is I, Murray", Teal'c answered sonorously. "I bring Daniel Jackson with me. May we come up?"

Jon stared at the intercom for a moment, surprised and – shocked. He never thought he'd see Daniel again. He felt a moment's excitement – followed swiftly by anger. What the hell were they doing here? They had better not want something from him. If the Air Force had sent them it could go screw itself!

"Come on up", he finally said, although he was tempted to say 'go away'. A minute later and there was a knock on the door. With a deep breath he opened it, to see two of his best friends standing there.

He wanted to hit himself. These were not _his _friends – they were Jack the original's, and he had to remember that. "Yeah – so what do you want?" There – get right to the point.

"Uh – we were wondering if we could talk to you for a few minutes", Daniel said, sounding nervous.

Jon looked at the archaeologist and realized the man was incredibly uncomfortable. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling depressed. "Okay – can I get you anything first? I don't have beer but – soda, iced-tea, coffee?"

"Uh iced-tea would be great", Daniel spoke quickly and glanced around as they walked in to the living room. "This is nice", he said.

Jon nodded and headed to the kitchen. "Yeah – it's pretty good. Not as good as my – his house, but okay. It's a lot less work, which is good since I'm in college." He disappeared for a few moments while he got the drinks. It also gave him an opportunity to recoup.

"God, he looks more like Jack than ever", Daniel whispered.

Teal'c looked at him in surprise. "Of course. Is he not O'Neill's clone? It would be surprising if he were to look different."

"I know that – I guess – when he was younger he didn't look so much like his older self. It's just – weird."

"Here you go", Jon handed the guys a drink and then sat in the chair opposite from them. "So, what brings you to my neck of the woods? I don't suppose it's a social visit to say hi to an old friend? No, wait – we're not are we? Old friends I mean. In fact, you don't really know me." Jon was looking at Daniel as he spoke since he really wasn't including Teal'c in his little tirade. Teal'c had been the one person who had been decent to him.

"I'm sorry Jack -"

"Jon – it's Jon. The other guy – the original – is Jack."

"Sorry – I knew that – just forgot. Look, I _am_ sorry for – ignoring you all these years. I guess I just – didn't know what to say to you."

"Oh – hi, how ya doin' Jon – works well. Teal'c here didn't have trouble."

"No – he's a better man than me", Daniel said softly. "I really am sorry. I – it must have been hard."

"Hard? Oh, you mean losing my life – my friends, my family, my career, my past – why would you think that?" He knew he was pouring it on a bit thick – quite thick in fact, but he figured Daniel needed to suffer a bit. When he saw his fri – the other man wince, he actually felt guilty.

"It was terrible", Daniel agreed. "I'm so sorry – and if there was anything we could have done –"

"Yeah, I know", Jon sighed and put his drink down. "Look, I didn't mean to lay into you. I really do understand why you couldn't come and see me and I'm not bitter – well, only a little bitter", he gave a crooked smile. "But you must be here for some reason other than to say hi. _Did_ the Air Force send you?"

"No", Daniel shook his head. "They don't know anything about this – at least Hammond does, but he's the only one – other than Janet and Sam and Jack."

"So – Sg1 and Hammond know. _What_ do they know?"

"That we need your help", Teal'c said simply.

"My help? What can I do that the original me can't do? And by the way – why aren't he and Carter here? Or are they too scared or too disgusted to see me?"

"Neither", Teal'c answered calmly. "O'Neill is not well enough to come and Major Carter is with him and will not leave him at this time."

Jon could feel a headache coming on and really didn't want to ask, but knew himself well enough to know he couldn't let this go – _them _go, without finding out what was going on. "Okay – you'd better explain everything to me. I'm feelin' a bit dense here."

"We were on a mission over a year ago", Daniel began to explain. "They were trapped on the planet by Jaffa but eventually made their escape in a death glider. They managed to make it off the planet but eventually crashed onto another planet. It was inhabited and they were taken in by the people there. They were there over a year and didn't expect to make it back to Earth."

"Really?' Jon looked from one man to the other. "But I'm assuming from what you said that they did make it back?"

"Yes", Teal'c nodded. "We were travelling with Thor when we happened on a planet that was about to be attacked by Goa'uld. When he went to help the people there he discovered that Sam and Jack were on the planet. He rescued them and brought us all back. We just arrived."

"Okay – so what isn't it that you're telling me? They were there for over a year – what happened to them on this planet."

"Well", Daniel coughed and wouldn't look directly at Jon. "For one they got married."

"Married? Jack and _Carter_?"

"Yes – well, she's not exactly Carter now."

"She is Carter-O'Neill", Teal'c explained.

"O – kay. So, they're married." He whistled. "I gotta admit I never expected that." He looked up suddenly. "Are they happy?"

"With one another?" Teal'c asked gently.

"No – with Thor! Of course I mean with each other."

Daniel glanced at Teal'c and grinned. Jon was just like Jack –still. "They are very happy", he told mini-Jack. "They are very much in love."

"Good – that's – good", Jon nodded. He felt a strange combination of thrilled and devastated. He'd worked hard, over these last years, to forget about his feelings for Carter. He was pretty sure he'd _almost_ succeeded – but today's visit was harder than he'd thought. Still, a part of him _was_ happy for his counterpart. He'd finally gotten the girl.

"I don't suppose you could clone her for me?" he asked jokingly. "I'd like my own Carter."

Daniel looked terribly embarrassed and sad – and Teal'c just raised an eyebrow. Jon couldn't help but laugh at the predictable reactions from the two. "I'm okay", he said, "Just a little joke. So, they're married and happy. Where do I come into this? It doesn't sound as if you need me for anything."

Teal'c and Daniel looked at each other and Jon could see both of them take deep breaths. He had a sudden feeling of foreboding. What was going on?

"O'Neill was injured", Teal'c informed him. "It was very serious."

"Is he alive?" Jon asked, his eyes looking closely at both men to determine whether or not they were telling the truth.

"Yes, he is alive. However his heart was permanently damaged. He will not survive without a new one."

"I – see." Again he looked back and forth between the two, a sick feeling wash over him. They were here to take his heart – and end his life. He'd become nothing more than a parts-shop for the real O'Neill. Over my dead body, he thought. He then gave a strangled laugh. He was pretty sure that that's what they wanted. "You want – my heart?" he finally managed to choke out.

"Well, in a manner of – oh God", Daniel suddenly looked horrified. "No, no – we're not here to take your heart. We wouldn't do that. And Jack would kill us if we harmed you in any way."

That was an interesting thought, Jon realized. It was true that it would go against his nature. Jack _would_ throw a conniption if they hurt his clone. His thudding heart began to slow down. "So – I can keep mine?"

"Of course", Teal'c bowed. "We simply need a tiny tissue sample to recreate a heart for O'Neill."

"You need – a piece of my heart?" This sounded almost as horrible and he had a fleeting desire to cover his chest with his hands. "Well I'm afraid you can't have it!"

"Thor will take a microscopic sample – he assures us that you won't even know and it won't harm you in the slightest."

"And from this – microscopic piece – he'll do what exactly?"

"He'll clone a new heart for Jack and transplant it. You're his only hope", Daniel entreated.

"I see." Jon stood up slowly and walked to the window. It was getting dark outside and the street lights were beginning to come on. He watched as one by one they illuminated. He finally turned back to face the two men who were looking at him in concern. "So – he's okay with this?"

"Who?' Daniel tried to look innocent but Jon had been around for a few years – and besides which, he knew Daniel really well. "Oh – you mean Jack? Why wouldn't he be?"

Jon's eyes narrowed. "Have you even talked to him about it?"

"Of course", Daniel nodded. "At least Sam did."

"And what did he say?"

Damn! Of course mini-Jack would be suspicious. He'd react the same way.

"He did not want you to be hurt, otherwise he didn't say anything really." Daniel used a bit of casuistry on the young man.

"So – you want Thor to clone my heart and you'll transplant it into Jack – and then everything will be back to normal?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Except Jack and Sam are married."

"Yes, except for that."

"Okay fine – tell Thor he can have that _– very, very microscopic_ piece to build a new O'Neill heart. And tell the old fart that he really should come and see me."

"Thor?" Daniel asked in shock.

"No", Jon rolled his eyes. "O'Neill."

"I will", Teal'c told him formerly. "I am sure he will make arrangements to come.

"Thank you Jon", Daniel spoke softly, but was obviously pleased by the outcome of the visit.

God, how he missed the younger man, Jack thought. He wished – no, stop that. There's no point in wishing for anything. Life was a crap shoot and you took what you got.

"I'd – like to come by and visit sometime", Daniel finally told him, looking slightly sheepish. "If you're okay with it?"

Jon looked at his erstwhile friend with a serious expression on his face. The last thing he needed was pity. "Why?" he asked bluntly.

"Why? Because you - because Jack is one of my best friends in the world and I figured -"

"You figured?" Jon asked.

"I figured that I could have two Jack's for the price of one", Daniel grinned. "Look, I do feel badly for ignoring you, although it was probably for the best in the early days." He looked to Jon, who nodded in agreement. "But now – I would like to get to know you better."

Eventually Jon himself nodded, although he looked serious. "Okay – you can come by – but you have to bring beer!"

Daniel laughed, looking happier and more relieved than he had been in a long, long time.

Jon sat and watched his two – friends – and prayed this would be the beginning of a new world for him.

_**So - I'm not planning to do too much with the Jon O'Neill clone in this story. Are people interested in me doing a sequel that would feature him? I hadn't planned to do any clone stories - they're not usually my favorites - but I've kind of grown to like him. Let me know if you are interested or not. I have another story in the pipeline already but can probably manage this one in the near future. Thanks.**_


	29. O'Neill One and O'Neill Two

_**Just a short one tonight - busy day but I wanted to get you something. Thank you for all the lovely reviews - and for letting me know if you wanted a sequel with Jon. Most seemed to want one (I totally get those of you who don't - I've never really liked most clone-fics myself - but I have grown to kind of like Jon). So, I'll probably do a short epilogue or sequel. Thanks again!**_

"So what now?" Jon asked, looking at the two men across from him. "What do I have to do to – uh – donate a piece of my heart?" He scrunched up his nose at that thought.

"Uh – I don't really know." Daniel looked at Teal'c. "I assume he'll have to go up to Thor's ship."

"I believe so. Are you comfortable with that Jon O'Neill?" Teal'c was worried about his friend, knowing how hard this was going to be for him.

"I guess I don't have much choice", he shrugged. "Still, I wish I had a beer. It would make it much easier!"

"We can ask Thor to get some for you", Daniel offered with a small grin.

"Just tell him to make sure it's Guinness", Jon demanded. "I only want the best if I have to give up some of my body – clone though it may be."

Daniel winced, clearly hearing the bitterness in Jon's voice. "It doesn't matter that you were cloned. You're you – your own person now. You may still have a similar personality and the same memories -"

"And the same DNA", Jon pointed out.

"Yeah – but you have different lives", Daniel reminded him. "You are also a lot younger and can do things he can't anymore."

"Don't tell him that – he wouldn't appreciate it."

Teal'c let out a laugh. "You are correct Jon O'Neill. He would not like that at all."

Jon got an evil look on his face. "So, I shouldn't call him 'old man'?"

"Uh, probably not", Daniel grinned in return. "Although I would like to see his face whe – ur – _if_ you were to call him that."

For a moment the mood had lightened, but soon they were all thinking of the ordeal ahead. Teal'c let out a sigh – unusual for him – and reached into his pocket for the communicator. "Shall I contact Thor at this time?"

"Might as well", Jon nodded. "Wait! Let me get my jacket and I have to make a call. I was supposed to go out to a concert with some friends tonight."

After making his phone call Jon grabbed his jacket and keys. "Probably won't need these, but just in case. Alright – I'm ready."

Of course he wasn't, but he wasn't about to let on to Teal'c or Daniel that he was dreading the next few minutes. He didn't want to see his original – hated the thought actually. It would just serve to remind him of everything he had to give up. Worse than seeing O'Neill, however, was the thought of seeing S – _Carter_. He dreaded it like nothing else he could remember since he'd been – created.

He felt that usual tingle – the one which meant he was about to – okay, here he was. "Hi Thor", he said, looking down at the gray alien. He couldn't help but feel a touch of affection for the little guy, although it was tempered with a dislike of the Asgard as a whole – they were the ones who had started this whole thing. In a way, it was the Asgard who were his 'creators' but he sure as hell wasn't going to worship them.

"Jon O'Neill, welcome. I am grateful that you are willing to do this to help O'Neill."

"Yeah, well, the world just wouldn't be the same without the two of us", he joked. "So, where is the old guy?"

"He is resting. He is unable to leave the room he is in as my equipment is keeping him alive."

"That bad is it?" he frowned. Daniel and Teal'c had told him, but somehow he found it hard to believe that he – O'Neill the elder – was that weak. It just didn't feel right. "Okay – might as well get this over with. Lead on Macduff."

Thor stared at him. "Is there a problem with your memory?"

"My – what?" He frowned in confusion.

"You referred to me incorrectly. I was worried that there was a problem, although my scans indicated you are in excellent health. It is possible that the -"

"Uh – I'm fine Thor. It's just an expression. I simply meant let's go see – O'Neill."

"Oh. I understand." Thor clearly didn't but he'd learned to accept some of the eccentricities of humans and shrug them off. Without further discussion he led the three men to the room where O'Neill was waiting, along with Dr. Frasier and Samantha Carter.

Sam heard the door open and looked around to see Thor, followed closely by Daniel and Teal'c. A few feet behind was Jack's – no, she couldn't refer to him like that. It was Jon – Jon O'Neill. She looked at him carefully, thrown by how much he looked like his elder – self. The last time she'd seen him he'd looked much different but he was now turning into the man he would become.

Jon was looking at her with a strange expression on his face, which she couldn't read and which made her feel rather uncomfortable – but then he blinked and gave her the O'Neill grin. She could feel herself start to relax.

"Hey Carter", he called. "You're lookin' good."

"So are you – uh-"

"Call me Jon", he offered. "Yeah, I'm doin' good." He glanced over at the bed, to see the man he was here to help staring at him. God – he looked – terrible. He looked gray and drawn – and so old. He really was sick. "Hi", he said, not sure what else to say.

"Hi", his – his _what_ answered? He didn't even know how to refer to the elder O'Neill.

"Call me Jack", the older man said seriously, although with a look in his eye that Jon knew well.

Jon, cracked a laugh. "Okay, I can do that. So, I hear you're not doin' so well. Got into a fight did you?"

"Yeah, you know me, couldn't stay out of trouble."

"I do know you – I kind of _am_ you – although I'd like you to note that I haven't gotten into any trouble at all since – well, since I _arrived_."

"Really? That just proves you're not me – at least not anymore – which is probably a good thing."

"Uh huh. I don't think the world could take two of us – or you – or hell, I don't know. Anyway, I'm sorry you're not well. The guys thought I could help."

Jack grew serious and looked at Jon closely. "I told them I didn't want them to bother you. You have your own life and you don't owe me anything."

"Yes I do", Jon answered calmly. "I owe you _my_ life, so the least I can do is save yours. Besides which", he grinned, "part of you will be cloned from me – which will make me feel much better."

Jack scowled at that thought but then nodded. "That's fair I suppose. You really doing okay?"

"You mean – my life?"

Jack nodded again. "Yeah. I'd hate to think you were – that things were, hell, you know what I mean."

"Not surprisingly, I do. You always did have trouble just getting to the point O'Neill."

"Hey -" Jack started to defend himself but Jon held up his hand.

"I'm doing fine", he interrupted. "I'm enjoying university, I have friends, a nice apartment, a car – and my choice of future, so yeah, everything's good."

"But what about beer?" Jack asked, his eyes narrowed. "You're still too young to drink."

Jon leaned his head back and laughed. "Yeah, that's painful alright. I did tell Teal'c and Daniel that after this you guys owed me Guinness – and lots of it!"

"You've got a deal", Jack said, his head dropping back. He was suddenly exhausted from the brief few moments of banter between him and – Jon. He had to think of the guy as Jon, not as his clone or as mini-me. He really was his own person now, with his own life. His lips quirked slightly – he actually really liked him too, which was either not surprising – or was really weird.

He glanced over at Sam and realized that she'd been awfully quiet. He could tell she was nervous being around Jon and for a moment he wondered about that. Then it hit him square between the eyes. He'd told her he'd been in love with her for years – so she had to know that Jon probably felt something of those feelings for her.

He looked at the younger man and noticed that he was avoiding looking at Sam. Damn – this was way too complicated. Thor better do his stuff and allow Jon to return back to Earth as quickly as possible, before anyone was hurt.

"Uh Thor?" he said, angry at how weak his voice suddenly sounded. "Shouldn't you get going?"

"I will have to prepare Jon O'Neill and yourself O'Neill", the alien said. "I will put you back into stasis in a moment. It will be easier on your body. Once you are in stasis I shall begin the process of cloning Jon O'Neill's heart and will then perform the transplant. When you wake up you will be well."

Jack nodded slightly, closing his eyes. He was too tired now to really care about much of anything, although he knew deep down he was both frightened and excited. Things could go wrong – even for advanced races like the Asgard. At the same time, he had hope that he would be better and no longer have to live like this. And then there was Jon – "Uh, this won't hurt him, will it?" he asked softly, referring to the other man.

"No, it shall not", Thor assured him. "It will only take a brief moment and he will be up and around almost instantly with no side effects. Now" Thor said, speaking to the other, "let us leave O'Neill and Samantha for a few moments. I shall return in a little while O'Neill, to put you into stasis."

Everyone headed towards the door until Jack's voice stopped them. "Jon", he whispered, just loud enough so his clone could hear. "Thank you. You don't know how much -"

Jon let out a rude noise and grinned. "I do – and you're welcome. Remember – beer!"

Jack grinned. "You've got a deal." He then looked at his other friends and gave them a smile. "You too", he said to them. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Jack", Daniel answered. "And you're buying us all a steak dinner after this is over."

"I can do that", he nodded.

"Indeed O'Neill – I too look forward to when you are well and we can celebrate together."

"Take care Colonel. You're in good hands", Janet smiled. "I wouldn't trust you to anyone else you know."

He grinned. "And Thor doesn't use big needles", he commented.

"No – but I have some just waiting with your name on them Colonel. Be well Sir", she said seriously.

After the door shut behind them Jack turned to his wife. "So – back into stasis eh?"

"I hate it, but at least it's for a good cause. The next time you wake up you'll be better."

"I hope", he said softly.

"Of course you will be", she said, her voice sounding determined. "In fact, as soon as you're up and around you're going to take me dancing."

"I am?" he smiled.

"You betcha Airman. I'm going to buy a little slinky black dress, and high heels and underneath I'll wear an itty bitty -"

"Stop", he cried. "I don't have my new heart yet and this one can't handle that thought."

She laughed and leaned down and kissed him. "You're going to be one hundred percent when this is over", she said. "I love you."

"I love you too", he smiled. "And I promise I'll take you dancing." His eyes grew serious and he studied her face, as if trying to memorize everything about her before returning to stasis. "Sam – if I don't –"

"_Jack_!"

"No, listen. I – want you to be happy. Promise me, no matter what, you'll be happy."

"I'll be happy when you're all better."

"But if I'm not – if something happens -"

"It's not going to happen Jack, so don't even bother saying it." She leaned down and kissed him, just as the door opened and Thor walked in. "I love you", she said again, "and I'll see you soon."

She stood up and stepped back while Thor went over to the equipment. He looked up and nodded.

"It is time", he told them.

Sam reached out and took Jack's hand, one last time, and kissed it. "Be strong and be well", she said. She then laid his hand down and stepped back.

Thor started up his equipment and within moments Jack's eyes were closing. A couple of minutes more and his vital signs had been reduced to almost nothing. "He is in stasis", Thor informed her. "He will be fine Major Carter, I promise. You must rest now. It will be many hours before I can transplant the new heart."

She nodded and then looked over at the alien who had been so faithful and so good. "I know Thor – but I need to be with him. I need to make sure he's not alone."

"I understand Major", Thor nodded. "I will have the others come and check on you and bring you something to eat. I will also return the cot so that you may rest yet remain close. I am sorry that you cannot touch him. He needs to be isolated in the stasis pod."

She nodded. "That's okay, as long as I can stay near him."

She watched as her husband lay there, as still as if there was no life in him. But there was – and soon – very soon, he would be back to health. She prayed.


	30. Heartfelt Thanks

He took a deep breath and then slowly opened his eyes. He stopped. Okay, replay that O'Neill. He _took a deep breath_! Hell YES! He could breathe. He tried it again and fell the sweet, sweet air enter his lungs and fill them up.

He grinned up at the ceiling. _Yes!_ The operation must have been a success. Then where -? He took his eyes off the ceiling and let them roam around the room. Well, he was still on Thor's ship, but no one seemed to be – no wait! He looked right next to the bed he was on to see Sam, curled up on a cot, sound asleep.

He couldn't help but stare at her. Suddenly he was going to live – and he was married to the smartest, most beautiful, most wonderful woman in this or any other universe. He sat up, and although there was a moment's dizziness, it passed quickly. He took another couple of deep breaths, barely containing the smile that filled his whole face. He then swung his legs over the side of the bed he was on and slowly stood.

"Hey", he whispered, to himself as much as to anyone, "I'm standing." And he was, and his legs worked and everything felt great – fantastic. "Way to go Thor – and Jon." He took the two steps to Sam and went to bend down and kiss her awake. As he moved closer though, he couldn't help but notice the dark circles under her eyes and the look of stress, even in sleep, that was etched into her face. He straightened and sighed. "Poor darling", he said softly. Gently reaching out he barely touched her cheek. She moved slightly, but didn't wake up. She was deeply asleep – probably for the first time in days – no, probably in months.

He didn't have the heart to wake her up. She must know the operation had been a success because knowing her, she wouldn't have slept until she was sure. So, he could afford to let her sleep.

As for him – he grinned – there was no way they were keeping him down anymore. He had been an invalid for months and had loads of pent-up energy just waiting to be expended. And what better place for that than a in a spaceship.

He double checked, but there were no machines or computers or lights or anything in sight. He was no longer hooked up to any of Thor's life giving stuff – which must mean he was free to wander. With a final look at Sam – and a kiss blown her way – he headed for the door.

"So where is everyone?" he muttered as he roamed the empty corridor. They had to be around somewhere, unless Thor had transported everyone back to Earth. Either that, he frowned, or aliens had come while he was sleeping and made everyone disappear. Maybe he and Sam were the only ones left, trapped in a lonely – oh for God's sake, stop it O'Neill! He decided the best thing to do would be to check a couple of the rooms. He could also call for Thor – he figured the alien monitored his ship pretty closely. Still, he would rather find someone on his own. It was more fun that way and allowed him to be up and around.

He felt great! He had so much energy he didn't know what to do with it. Granted, his muscles were a bit stiff, but he could tell that was from lying down so long. All they needed was some stretching and exercise and he'd be as good as new – better probably.

Nope, the first room was empty. He looked around. "Wonder what Thor does in here?" There were strange looking objects spread around the room. He couldn't help but take a few steps in and look more closely. He didn't think they were any kind of machine – but he couldn't quite tell -. He cocked his head to the side and observed one in particular. If he had to take a guess, he'd say it was some kind of weird contemporary art. He suddenly laughed. "Thor, you devil you. You're an _artist_." He glanced at some of the others and realized some of them were quite beautiful. He'd have to see if he could buy one off the little alien. Although come to think of it, he'd have a hard time explaining where it came from.

He made his way back out into the corridor and checked a couple of more rooms. After finding both of them empty he was ready to give up and see if he should call Thor. Still, he figured he'd try one more room. He reached out and –

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Jon was lying down on a bed, a magazine in his hands. "Thor said you'd sleep for a few more hours."

"Nope – wide awake." He couldn't help grinning. "I felt like a walk."

Jon sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed and put his magazine down. "You look like you're feeling better."

"Better? Hell yeah. I feel – great!" He stretched his arms up and took a deep breath. "I can't tell you how good _that_ feels."

"I can imagine it must have been hard", Jon looked at him sympathetically. "I would have gone crazy."

"No you wouldn't", Jack shook his head. He grinned again. "You would have handled it just like I did."

Jon laughed and nodded. "I guess I would at that – although you had Carter to help you."

Jack sobered up instantly. "I'm sorry – I guess I didn't think -"

Jon waived his arm. "Why should you? You've had enough to deal with. I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

"Yeah – about that." Jack shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Finally he lifted his head and looked directly at his – at _Jon_. "Thank you." He wanted to say more, but realized there really wasn't anything else _to_ say. "It means – everything."

Jon's lips lifted in a half grin. "Yeah – well, you owe me one and one day I'll come and collect."

"You do that", Jack nodded. "Anytime."

"Well – hopefully not for a long time. I want to finish college first and then -"

"And then what?" Jack looked at him curiously, wondering what choices he would make.

"Oh, I don't know. The world is open to me now and I have a while to decide."

"But no Air Force?"

"No, I don't think so. They've asked – seem to think you – we – are a real asset. I've done that already – at least I _feel_ like I have so now I want to try something different."

"I envy you", Jack told him. "It would be great to have that chance."

"Well, we're even. I envy you too." Jon shrugged and then took a deep breath of his own. "Look after her."

"Always."

The younger O'Neill then got a huge grin on his face. "And name the first one after me!"

Jack laughed and walked up to his – younger self – and put out his hand. "You've got a deal. Take care of yourself and if _ever_ you need anything – you know where I am. And if you – just want to come by some time to watch a game or the Simpsons -!"

Jon laughed again. "What if we root for different teams?" he asked.

"Never happen", Jack shook his head. "We're too much alike!" With that he turned and headed to the door. "See you around?"

"Yeah."

Jack nodded and left the room, for the first time feeling okay about having a clone. The kid was alright!

"_Jack_! What are you doing out of bed?" Daniel rushed over to him and took his arm, as if he was about to fall over. Jack sighed and wished he was back with Jon. At least _he_ knew enough not to coddle him.

"I'm fine Daniel. More than fine actually. I feel great – and I needed some exercise."

"Where's Sam?" Daniel looked around with a frown, his hand still on Jack's arm.

"I ditched her Daniel", he answered seriously. "I decided that now that I'm well, I should play the field a bit more."

"_Jack", _Daniel said, sounding disgusted. "No really, where is she?"

"She's sleeping Daniel. She looked exhausted and I figure she hasn't slept well since, well", he pointed to his chest. "So I let her sleep and decided to go for a walk."

"Oh. Who were you talking to?"

"Jon." He didn't say anymore but simply waited for Daniel to speak.

"Oh", his friend said again. "How's he doing?"

Jack winced, realizing that he hadn't even asked. "He seemed okay", he said, feeling guilty. "What did Thor say?"

"Thor? Uh, he said Jon is just fine. I guess he only needed a couple of stem cells is all. Jon wasn't even asleep during the process."

"Ugh", Jack shivered. He suddenly realized he hadn't even looked at himself so he quickly lifted his shirt and peered at his chest.

"What are you doing?" Daniel laughed.

"Just checking. I wondered if there'd be a big scar or something."

"No – Thor made sure there wasn't. It was quite an interested process actually. You could -" his voice faded out when he realized Jack was looking at him in horror. "What?"

"You _watched_?"

"Uh – yeah. I mean, you don't mind or anything, do you? Janet and Teal'c watched too", he defended himself.

"Great – you mean I was the afternoon special feature?"

"Kind of", Daniel shrugged. "It was interesting."

"I'm sure it was. Uh – Sam didn't -"

"No – oh no. She sat and talked with Jon."

Jack's eyebrows went up. "Really?"

"Yeah – I think she felt bad that she hadn't ever visited him. I felt that way too. She asked him all about his life and university and everything."

"And he was – okay with that?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't he be? I mean, as far as he remembers Sam was a friend of his. It was probably -". Daniel stopped and got a strange look in his eyes. His lifted his head and looked directly at Jack. "Uh – I didn't think about that", he said.

"About what?"

"You know – about the fact that you – I mean you and Sam – _you_ know."

"Me and – Daniel, _nothing_ ever happened between the two of us – at least not before Terra."

"I know, I know – we all know. But I also know that you've – uh – _cared_ for her for a lot of years. I just realized that Jon -" he grimaced, seeming to realize he'd stuck his foot in his mouth.

"I think it's best left alone Daniel. I don't think he'd appreciate you talking about him like this."

"No – no I guess not." He stood there for a moment, biting his lip. "So – you're looking rather perky", he said after a moment, walking down the hall towards another set of doors.

"_Perky_? Since when am I _perky_?"

"Right now I'd say", Daniel grinned. "You're looking good – a bit skinny, but good."

Jack frowned. "Yes – that reminds me. I'm hungry. What's there to eat around here?"

"Uh, Thor has yellow triangles, green ones, blue ones –" he laughed at Jack's stricken expression. "Not really. Come on, there's some food this way. Janet is going to kill you, you know."

"She can try", Jack smirked. "But I'm much too tough for her now."

"_Colonel_! What are you doing up? I was just going to go take a look at you", said doctor exclaimed.

"I'm fine Doc", he said. He walked over to her and gave her a big hug. "Thanks." He then gave her a kiss on the cheek, which caused her to stutter and Daniel to laugh.

"That showed her Jack", he said.

"O'Neill?" Teal'c had stood up and was looking at his friend. "It is good to see you well."

"Hiya Teal'c. It's good to _be_ well."

"Colonel O'Neill." At that moment the door opened and Thor walked in. "You are awake. I thought it would be a few more hours yet. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great Thor – thank you! I assume everything went okay?" He was pretty sure, based on how he felt, but he admitted to being a bit nervous that there was something still wrong.

"It went very well O'Neill. You are extremely healthy now and have many years ahead of you. Jon O'Neill is also fine."

"Good – great." He walked over to his alien friend and squatted down so he was looking at Thor directly. "You don't know how much your friendship and loyalty has meant Thor. And thank you for my health. That is something I can never repay."

"You do not have to Colonel. Your friendship is more than enough."

"And Jon – you're sure he's okay?"

"Yes, he is fine. He asked to be returned to Earth." He looked around at the others. "He said to say 'see you later'. He told me he does not like – I believe he said 'soppy goodbyes'. He also told me to tell you all that you owe him great quantities of Guinness."

The others laughed, although for a moment Jack looked sad. He would have to figure out some way of helping Jon. As much as the other man put a brave face on things, Jack knew how he really felt. He couldn't hide that from – well – from himself.

"You okay Jack?" Daniel spoke softly at his side. He turned and smiled. "I'm fine. Great even. You really don't know how good it is to feel strong and healthy. Thank you – all of you!"

After a few moments of laughter, and more hugs, it was Janet who noticed someone missing. "Where's Sam?"

"Oops!" Her loving husband said. "She was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her. She looked tired."

"You're right Sir", Janet told him. "She's exhausted. I'm glad you let her sleep but I suggest you go back and lie down yourself. You don't want to push yourself too soon – and you don't want her to wake up with you gone."

"God no!" he exclaimed, thinking of Sam, not himself. "Uh – when do we go home?" he asked as he headed to the door.

"As soon you want to Sir", Janet smiles. "Or at least, as soon as Sam wakes up."

He was whistling as he walked back to his room. He wanted to see Sam more than anything in the world and then he wanted to go home. It had been a long time – but he was now ready to start the rest of what he hoped would be a long and happy life.

She was still sleeping so he walked over to her cot and sat down on the edge. For a moment he just watched her, but finally he reached out and stroked her cheek. Her lips moved and she murmured something. Then slowly, her eyes opened.

His breath caught. God – you would think he would be used to her eyes by now. "Hello", he smiled at her.

Her expression didn't change for a moment as she woke up, but then, with a small sob she lifted herself off the bed and threw her arms around him. "Oh Jack – you're okay!"

"I've more than okay", he laughed. "I feel great."

At which words his wife dissolved in tears. He held her as she cried and cried. He felt terrible, knowing what she'd had to deal with during the past year and wished he could have changed things. "I'm alright", he whispered. "Everything is going to be fine Sam – I promise."

She cried harder at that although eventually the tears stopped and her breathing settled down. She simply held him tightly, as if she never wanted to let him go.

"Uh – Sam?"

"Hmm?" she sniffed into his shoulder.

"I'm kind of hungry – I mean, I don't mind staying here like this, with you for as long as you – I mean forever, but I thought maybe you were hungry too and we could – you know -"

He heard a strange sound from her and grew worried, but then realized that she was giggling. He grinned – it had been a long time since he'd heard her do that. "Hey, no giggling! A man has to eat."

She lifted her tear stained face to his, a beautiful smile shining out at him. "Of course you do." She leaned in and kissed his cheek, softly. "My love."

They had a small party together, all of them, on Thor's ship. He'd arranged to bring a wide variety of foods from Earth and they all sat around eating and drinking (Guinness was also provided) and reminiscing about old times.

It was very early in the morning – Earth time – when Jack sat back, tired but happy and pulled Sam with him. Holding her closely he looked at his friends – wishing only that George Hammond could be with them too. "We missed you guys", he said, raising his bottle. "Here's to Sg1 – and its honorary members, Doc and Thor. Now, let's go home."


	31. Down to Earth

_**Miss me everyone? Sorry for the looooong delay in posting. In the last three weeks I've traveled to Atlanta, San Diego, Buffalo, Toronto, Newark and Princeton. Today I had the joy of being stuck in an airport for 9 hours (I hate Newark Airport) so had time to finish this story. I hope you enjoy.**_

"I'm nervous", Sam said, holding Jack's hand tightly. "I've wanted this for so long, and now I'm not sure."

"Not sure?" he gazed at her curiously. "About what?"

"About going back. Things seemed – easier – on Terra. What if -"

"Uh uh", he shook his head. "There's no point in doing the 'what ifs'. We're going home and everything's gonna be fine."

"But what if we get in trouble? What if they tell us we can't be married?"

He shrugged. "We tell 'em to go to hell. We're married and there's nothing they can do about it."

"No, but they can kick us out of the Air Force, or court martial us."

"They can, but I don't think they will. Look, we've been gone for a long time – months – and it was a miracle we were found. No one will blame us for deciding to have a life on Terra. It's not like we gave away any Earth secrets. Heck, people didn't even know we were aliens until right near the end."

"That's right", she smiled slightly, "we were aliens. I never really thought about it that way. In many ways Terra felt like my first real home."

"That's because you were with me", he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Although she knew he was trying to lighten things up, in fact what he said was true. It wasn't the place – it was that they had been – were – together that made her feel at home. That thought suddenly made her feel much more relaxed and able to face what was ahead much easier. No matter what, she had Jack.

"If worse comes to worse", she said, her head on his shoulder, "we can ask Thor to take us back."

"To Terra?"

She nodded and he held her tighter. "I hope – I'd like to go back sometime anyway. I feel like we had to leave so quickly and didn't really get a chance to say goodbye. I also want to make sure everyone is okay."

"Thor said the Goa'uld didn't have time to do anything", Jack reminded her.

"I know – but still, the Council were a bunch of idiots and I'd rather know Salea and Traman and Mora are all okay. I miss them."

"Me too", he sighed. "I wish –"

"What?" She looked up at him.

"I wish it was closer", he said. "I'd like to be able to visit too."

"So guys, ready to go?" Daniel walked into their room, his usually bouncy self.

"Yeah. If Janet is sure I'm not going to drop dead?"

"_Jack!_" Sam swatted his arm. "Don't even joke about something like that."

"Sorry", he grinned. "But you know her – she's -"

"She's _what_ Colonel?" the Doc entered the room, an interested look on her face.

Jack grinned. "Wonderful Doc, just wonderful."

She snorted and looked over at Sam. "Do you have to put up with this?"

"You mean his puppy dog, I'm completely innocent, little angel look?" O'Neill's loving wife asked.

"Yeah, that."

"Nope", Sam said. "He saves those looks for you because he knows you are the keeper of big needles and cold bedpans."

"And don't you forget it Sir!" Doc gave him a mock glare. "As far as I can tell, you're healthy as a horse and will probably outlive us all. So I say it's time we went home."

"Does Hammond -"

"He's waiting for us", Daniel told them. "Thor radioed ahead."

"Okay then, let go!"

They said goodbye to Thor, thanking him again for all he'd done. With that they were ready to leave. Jack gave one last salute to the alien and the next moment they'd materialized – right into the gate room.

Home – to Jack it had meant his friends, his home – the graveyard where he'd visit his son, or at least the memory of him – and the gate itself. Arriving here, however, felt right. This is the room where his new life had begun.

He glanced around slowly – and it was only then that he realized that the room was full. George Hammond was at the front of a large crowd, his shiny pate gleaming – but not as much as his face, which was split by a huge grin. Standing beside and behind him looked like all the men and women of the SGC.

The silence went on for a couple of more seconds until a cheer – led by Louis Ferretti - rang out. His was soon followed by clapping and hooting by the dozens of people present. George finally stepped forward, stopping just a couple of feet from where Jack and Sam were standing. He stood at attention and saluted. Both Jack and Sam stood up straight and saluted back, their faces serious, their eyes showing how glad they were to be back.

George relaxed suddenly and strode forward, his arms held out. He first enveloped Sam in a hug. "Welcome back Major", he told her.

"I'm glad to be back Sir", she said, a distinct sniffle in her voice. "We missed you all so much."

George let go and peered down at the woman who was almost a daughter to him. "And we missed you Major – Sam. You don't know how happy I was to hear you'd been found." His face once more growing serious, he turned to face Jack. "Son." He reached out and grabbed Jack's arm – and only after a short pause pulled him into an embrace, slapping him once on the back.

"I should have known you'd be back Colonel", he said.

"Of course Sir", Jack grinned. "Just call me a bad penny. I'll always show up."

Hammond laughed. "A cliché Jack?"

"Uh – well, I've been gone a while – picked up some bad habits I guess."

"You'd better say hello to everyone", Hammond indicated the noisy crowd behind him. "You realize of course, you've just about shut down the whole damn base? I couldn't tell people not to come and see that you were both okay."

For the next few minutes Jack and Sam tried to speak to as many people as they could. Many wanted to hear of their time away and, typical Jack, he mostly joked and was silly. Still, from the laughter and relief on everyone's faces, that was exactly what they needed to hear. Jack O'Neill was back.

Of course Sam had as many people speaking with her, hugging her and questioning her. Some of her colleagues from the science department were actually quite emotional, which made it harder for her to appear happy and unconcerned. It wasn't that she _wasn't_ happy, it was just that she was feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything.

"Okay people", Hammond finally spoke, his voice somehow cutting through the noise. "I know all of you would like to stay here and continue talking to Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, however we do have a base to run. They'll be lots of time to speak with them and hear about their adventures in the days to come."

It took a few minutes before everyone had streamed out of the gate room. Jack was sure his hand was permanently damaged from all the hand shaking. He shook his head slightly, but at the same time couldn't help grinning. God, it was good to be home.

"Are you feeling up to coming to my office Colonel, Major?" the General asked, looking at O'Neill in concern.

"I'm fine Sir", Jack answered. "Better than fine actually. Thor fixed me up and I feel great – better than I have in months."

"Good. You Major? How are you holding up? Are you able to come up and give me a preliminary report?"

"Yes Sir, I'm good." It's true that Sam was feeling _physically_ okay, but her mental state couldn't be exactly described as good. She was thrilled to be home, happy to see everyone and worried about what was going to happen. Jack seemed to understand how she was feeling because, as they turned to follow Hammond, he gave her a tiny nudge with his shoulder. When she glanced up at him he gave her a small wink. She instantly wanted to laugh. How did he _do_ that? When she was feeling her worst he could always cheer her up.

Daniel and Teal'c had decided to go get cleaned up and said they'd check in later. They knew that Hammond would want to talk to the two lost, but now found, couple.

Once they were all seated in the General's office, George leaned forward, his arms on his desk and a big grin on his face. "I can't believe you're here. None of us gave up hope but, damn, it's incredible!"

"Yes Sir", Jack grinned back. "It is that."

"So, I only got the barest details from Dr. Jackson. Can you tell me exactly what happened?" He frowned. "And you're sure you're okay Jack? I heard it was bad."

"It was Sir", Sam answered, "Very bad. But both Thor and Janet have given him a clean bill of health. He's very healthy now."

"Good", he nodded. "Alright – now tell me what happened."

For the next forty-five minutes Jack and Sam – together – told of their time on Terra. It was a difficult conversation, both because of the emotions that were dragged up but also because they didn't want to say anything yet about being married.

"Do we know if the gate is accessible or was it destroyed?" Hammond wanted to know.

"According to Thor it was destroyed Sir, although he said he would go back to see if it was repairable", Carter told him.

"I see", Hammond said. "Well, let's hope he can fix it because it sounds like a place we might want to visit – or should I say _revisit_. All in all it sounds as if things could have been a lot worse for both of you. I'm sorry you were hurt Jack, but at least you're healthy now. You know of course, you'll have to write all of this out. I'm afraid too that Washington is going to want to have someone from outside the SGC interview you?"

"Don't trust us, do they?"

"It's not that Colonel", Hammond sighed. "When two of my best officers disappear for over a year and then show up, there's concern about all that happened and potentially who you came into contact with. I don't think anyone suspects anything, so you shouldn't have to worry. It will probably be more of an irritation than anything."

"Yes Sir." Jack sat silently for a moment, biting his lip.

"What is it Colonel?" Hammond was looking at him, seeming to realize there was something on the younger man's mind.

Jack met Sam's eyes, asking a silent question. After a moment she nodded, giving him permission to proceed. In those few brief minutes of silent communication, they agreed that it was better to get this over with now, rather than waiting.

"There's one other thing we have to tell you Sir", Jack said, for once sounding totally serious.

"What is it?" Hammond frowned, suddenly feeling the tension in the room. His eyes moved from O'Neill to Major Carter and he was startled to see the apprehension on her face. What the hell was this?

"Uh – while we were on Terra – we tried really hard to find the gate but after a few months it seemed pretty obvious there wasn't one – or if there was its location had been lost in history."

Hammond continued to look at his officers. They had already been over this.

"Well Sir – we didn't think we were going to make it home." Jack knew that wasn't _quite_ true – they hadn't given up hope, although it had seemed more and more unlikely. "We pretty much figured that Terra was going to be our home for the rest of our lives."

"Okay", Hammond gave Major Carter another fleeting look. He could feel a sinking feeling in his stomach as he began to have an idea of what this might be about.

"We got married General", Sam jumped right to the point. She gave Jack an apologetic look, but couldn't stand the tension anymore. "Not right away – we'd been there for months and as Colonel O'Neill said, we didn't think there was a way home."

"So – you got _married_?" Hammond said, his voice registering his shock.

"Yes Sir", Jack answered calmly. "We decided to make a life there. Spending all those months together well -" he shrugged. "We kind of - you know –"

"Fell in love – Sir." Again it was Sam who jumped to the point.

"I see", George sighed deeply. "You say you were there for a while before – doing this?"

"Yes Sir", Jack nodded. "We maintained a purely professional relationship until we came to the conclusion there was no way home. It was only at that point that we allowed – that our relationship changed. General, we would never – if we thought – I mean, you know we would never have disobeyed regulations if we thought we were going to come home."

"I know Jack." Hammond sighed again and rubbed his head. After a few more deep breaths he looked up at his very worried looking officers and smiled. "I guess congratulations are in order then."

"Thank you Sir", both of them answered in tandem.

"You realize that this – changes – things?"

"We know." Jack nodded. Sam looked slightly upset but also gave a nod.

"We realize that General", she said. "Do you think – will we get in trouble for this?"

"I honestly don't know Major, although I shouldn't think so. Once all the facts are out, and we show how unlikely it was that you would be rescued, I doubt if the Air Force will make an issue of it. You were gone long enough to make your reasons sound logical. Of course it still means things will have to change as far as your working relationship is concerned." George could feel a headache coming on. Although what he said was true, he was pretty sure that someone, somewhere was going to want to make an issue of this thing and he really didn't want the headache. Even worse was what this would do to Jack and Sam.

Still, he had to be happy for the two of them. As worried looking as they were, he could sense something in both of them that made him think this adventure had been a good thing for both of them. He didn't doubt that they had always behaved in a professional manner, but he would have had to be blind not to know that they had feelings for one another, even before they had gotten stranded on Terra. Maybe this was the only way they could have gotten what they both so obviously wanted.

"Well people", he said, slapping his hands on his desk and sounding like the decisive General he was, "we might as well get this show on the road. Both of you are on temporary leave so that you can get your affairs in order. Walter will go through all the paperwork with you to get you taken off the MIA list and get all your personnel files in order. I'll follow up with Washington and let them know what's happened."

"How long Sir?" Jack wanted to know. He and Sam needed time to get back into some kind of equilibrium after all that had happened.

"I think a month should be good Jack", the General told him. "Why don't you go up to that cabin of yours and relax once all the paperwork is done?"

Jack grimaced. "Great – paperwork!" He turned towards Sam. "Wanna come fishing Major?"

The tense look on her face suddenly dissolved – the lines around her eyes evening out. Her lips turned up in a smile and she gave a small laugh. "Yes Colonel. I'd love to go fishing."

Hammond grinned and dismissed his two best officers. "I'll let you know what happens, but for now, enjoy yourselves and again, congratulations. I'm happy for you both."

It was only after they'd left that Hammond looked at the phone on his desk. He sighed and reached over to pick it up and make the call that would start the drama. It was as he touched the receiver that he heard a noise, only to look up to see Jack with his head stuck around the corner.

"Colonel?"

"Sorry Sir", Jack grinned. "Just wanted to say thanks – and let you know that I'm happy too. Whatever happens – it was worth it."

Hammond laughed and waved the Colonel away. His mood was much lighter as he lifted the phone.

They went to Sam's house first. Things had that unlived in feel, but everything was clean and dust-free. Hammond had made sure of that. She walked slowly through her house, feeling like she was saying goodbye, not only to it, but to her old life. She was happy about where she was now – but a small part of her felt sad. As much as she wanted a life with Jack, it was still a change and a letting go of her days as a single woman.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She turned and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine. Just saying goodbye I guess."

He tilted is head and looked at her. "Do you not want to?"

"Oh yes – of course I do – I mean, I want to be with you. It's just – this was my home for a long time. There are some things I'm going to miss."

"We could live here if you want?"

She smiled again. "You're sweet, but it's too small. You need more space."

"Uh, this is bigger than our place on Terra."

"I know." This time she grinned. "But I'm really looking forward to a bigger house. I love you but -"

"_But_?"

"You take up space." She walked over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Your house will be better."

"If you're sure?"

"I'm sure. Now let me get a few things and let's get going. I want to order a pizza and sit and watch TV!"

It was the next day before Jack let himself think about the one thing he had to do now that he was back. He got up early, watching Sam for a moment as she continued to sleep. He then got dressed quietly and made his way out to the kitchen.

After making himself coffee and toast, he sat and thought about the visit he had to make today. It would be hard – it always was – but it was also something he had desperately missed.

One of the most difficult aspects of being stuck on Terra – besides missing his friends – was the feeling that he'd lost his son again. Oh, he knew that wasn't true, but being unable to look at his picture or visit the cemetery had been hard.

He finally stood up, feeling tired and stiff but realizing it had more to do with his emotions than any real physical symptoms. He was healthy as a proverbial horse. No – this was always hard, but something he had to do.

He found a piece of paper and left a quick note for Sam. He decided not to wake her – he needed to do this by himself this time. One day – maybe soon – he'd ask her to come with him, but not today. Today was for him.

It was only as he was on his way to the cemetery that he realized something, something he'd never really given thought to before. He wondered if Jon visited Charlie at the cemetery.

"Daniel", he spoke into his cell phone.

"Jack?" Daniel's bleary voice answered him. "What is it?"

"Did I wake you up?"

"Uh – yeah. That's okay. Is something wrong?"

"No – I need Jon's address. Do you have it?"

"Uh – I might. Just a –" Jack could hear a drawer being opened and them some rustling. Finally there was an 'aha!'. "Got it. He's at -".

Daniel gave him the address, which he wrote down. Before the other man could ask why he wanted it he thanked him and said a quick goodbye.

As Jack turned his car towards the young Jon O'Neill's house, he wondered if he was making a mistake.

_**One more chapter to go.**_


	32. Another Ending

_**Last chapter!**_

He walked up to the second floor apartment and stood in front of Jon's door. He almost turned around and left, but then he pulled the picture out of his pocket and looked at it. No, he had to do this. If Jon told him to go to hell – well, at least he'd tried. He reached out and tapped on the door.

He could hear someone walking towards the door and saw the peep hole darkening for a few seconds. Good, Jon was cautious, just like his old man – Jack smirked.

"Hi", Jon stood there, a quizzical look on his face. "I didn't expect to see you so soon. Everything okay?"

"Yeah – everything's fine. Uh – can I -?" he gestured with his hand into the apartment.

With a lift of his brows Jon nodded and stepped back. "Come in. It's rather humble I'm afraid."

Jack gave a lop-sided smile. "Better than some of the places I – ur _we_ lived in when we - _I_ was younger." He frowned, a little confused as to how to talk to the man across from him about events in his – their – past life.

"Yeah." Jon motioned for him to sit. "Coffee?"

"No, already had some."

"So what brings you here?" Jon sat on the chair across from him. "You said there's nothing wrong?"

"No – everything's good. We told Hammond and he's looking into things for us." Jack grimaced slightly, not really wanting to talk to Jon about his relationship with Sam.

Jon nodded but didn't say anything. He continued to look expectantly at the older man across from him. "Okay."

"Look", Jack sighed and put his hands through his hair. "I didn't know if I should – I mean, you can tell me to go to hell but -"

After a short pause Jon grinned. "I gotta say it's rather interesting watching you having trouble spitting something out."

"Interesting?"

"Yeah – it's like", he shrugged, "looking in a mirror."

"An old one", Jack said sarcastically.

"True." Jon grinned again but after a moment grew serious. "Just spit it out."

"Yeah, okay. Look, I got up this morning so I could go see Charlie", he said in a rush. "It's been a long time." He could immediately see the other man's face go hard, all expression leeching out of his face. "I thought – I don't know if you go on your own, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go with me this time."

There was silence in the room and Jack could suddenly hear all the noises in the apartment – the sound of cars outside, the motor in the refrigerator, the sound of a door closing down the hall. What he didn't hear was any sound from Jon.

Finally the other man spoke. "No. I don't go."

Jack frowned. "Never?"

"No."

"But – why not? I mean, I can understand if you wanted to avoid being there when I'm there or – Sara – but surely you go other times."

"No." Jon stood up and walked to the window. "I haven't gone. I didn't think -" His voice faded and he stood there staring out onto the street.

"You didn't think – what?"

Jon turned quickly, a look of – anger?, hurt? – no, Jack realized it was a look of despair. He closed his eyes, again feeling horribly guilty over having ignored this man since his – creation.

Jon laughed. "I'm just a clone Jack – I'm not really you. I didn't live that life. Charlie wasn't -", he paused and swallowed, "He wasn't really my son."

Jack surged to his feet. "Like _hell_ he wasn't. What are you talking about? You _did_ live those things. Don't you understand – you didn't come out of thin air. You _were_ me – you lived every single second. _You_ grew up in Minnesota and spent summers at Grandpa's cabin. _You_ joined the Air Force and learned to fly. _You_ met Sara and married her and you – _you_ had a precious son who you loved more than anything in the whole world. You were me – and it's only when Loki decided to screw around that we became two distinct persons. You weren't suddenly created out of nothing."

"No – I was created from you."

"My point exactly. You are as much Jonathan O'Neill as I am – just a much younger, better looking one."

"Then why don't I have your life?" Jon asked softly. "Why don't I work for the Air Force? Why isn't Sam married to me, not you?"

Jack closed his eyes, not quite sure what to say. After a few brief moments he opened them. "Because the world wouldn't believe that you were me and as soon as we became two - there was only room for one of us in that life." He shrugged. "It wasn't fair what happened – but it was the only thing we could do."

"I know that", Jon said, sounding sad. He turned and walked back to the couch and sat down, a small smile on his face. "Of course I know – and don't think I blame you, because I don't. It's just – I've never felt like I deserve this life, that I'm not _really_ you."

"You're not me – not now. You've become your own person with a separate present and future from mine, but you do share my – our past. And look, I can't tell you what to do now. I can't tell you to go see Charlie, but I think you should. I know it's a huge hole in your heart, just like it is in mine. In fact, you and I are the only ones that truly understand what it feels like to have lost him and to feel responsible for his death. And you know what? In some strange way that - helps. He was your son as much as he was mine so don't – don't lose that, don't lose _him_."

Jon sat watching him, his teeth working at his lips and his hands fidgeting with the arm of the chair. Jack watched, knowing exactly what was going through the other man's mind – which was rather eerie but, as he had said, also rather comforting.

"You really wouldn't mind?" Jon finally asked.

"What? You going to see Charlie? No – in fact I'd like it. I can't always be there for him and it would be good to know that you were."

"You don't think it will confuse him?" Jon smiled slightly. "Suddenly having two Dad's I mean."

Jack laughed. He hadn't really thought of that. "I doubt it. He was a pretty smart kid. He'll probably think it's great."

The other man answered with a broken laugh and leaned his head back. It was only then that Jack could see the tears forming in Jon's eyes. "I've missed him so much", Jon whispered. "I wanted to go – so many times – but felt like I didn't have a right to. I – thank you for this."

"Don't thank me", Jack answered, disgusted at himself. "It shouldn't have taken me this long to talk to you. I'm sorry that we all ignored you for so long. It wasn't right."

"It's okay", Jon suddenly moved and sat forward. "Although I'll probably make the most out of it for a while." He grinned. "Daniel must feel really guilty."

"You're gonna make him do something for you, aren't you?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"Hey, you would too!"

"Of course I would", he sighed and then stood. "Come on, let's go see Charlie."

It was as they were heading to the car that Jon stopped and turned towards Jack. "Uh – you don't think you could see about having Thor make a clone of Sam for me, do you?"

Jack stared at him, not quite sure if the younger man was kidding or not. It gave him rather a strange feeling, although he couldn't blame Jon for missing her. "Uh – I'll see what I can do", he finally replied, practically choking over the words.

"Great!" Jon was whistling as he got into Jack's truck.

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked him later that afternoon. They were both lazing around the house, just enjoying being healthy and at home.

"Huh? Oh, I was thinking of Jon", he said.

"That was a nice thing you did", his wife told him. She sat down beside him and curled up, her head on his shoulder. "How did he handle it?" Jack had mentioned the visit to Charlie's grave with Jon briefly when he'd returned from the cemetery but hadn't said much. Sam had taken one look at him and had left it alone, knowing he was still dealing with the emotions of having visited his son after so many months. Now however he seemed more willing to talk about it.

"Oh – about like me", Jack gave a sad smile. "It was – emotional for him. This is the first time he's ever been."

Sam leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you Jack O'Neill."

He turned into her and held her close. "And I love you Mrs. O'Neill."

After a few minutes spent kissing and holding one another Sam finally leaned back. "Is that what you were thinking about?"

"You mean Jon going to the cemetery?"

She nodded.

"No – actually, I was thinking about you and Jon", her loving spouse told her.

"_Me_ and Jon? Why in the world were you thinking that?" She looked at him suspiciously. "There is no me and Jon."

"I know that, but - he's in love with you", he said matter-of-factly.

"In – he is not!"

"Of course he is Sam. _I_ was in love with you when Loki cloned him, and he has all the same memories and feelings as I did. In fact, he asked if Thor could clone you."

She stared at him in shock. "He was kidding, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Anyway, it might be a good idea. Your clone could be with Jon."

"No it's not a good idea", she told him. "Any clone of mine would have all the same feelings and memories as _I_ do, right now", she informed him. "And I'm in love with you, not with Jon."

"But we're the same", he told her.

"No you're not. Not anymore. I would feel like I was robbing the cradle. I'm attracted to you, not to a 19 year old boy."

"Except he's really not 19 – he's my age, he just looks better." Jack sighed. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

She snorted. "That's because it was thought up by the two of you! No, we'll have to figure something else out."

"It's going to be rather difficult for him. Inside he's a 50 year old guy with all the life experiences of one. He's not going to do well with some young girl."

He could tell by the look on his wife's face that she'd discovered a new mission in life. He couldn't help but grin. Jon may not get a Sam clone for himself, but she would do everything she could to make sure he was happy.

Jon O'Neill – you really don't know what's coming.

_Epilogue_

"Jack?"

"Hmm? What?" Jack was sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard, listening to music and reading a book. She brought him a drink and then sat in the chair beside him.

He put his book on his lap and looked at her. "What's up?"

"Nothing", she replied, taking a sip of her lemonade.

"Okay." After a few seconds he lifted his book and began to read again. It only lasted a few minutes when he sighed and put it down again. "Sam?"

"What?" She looked at him innocently.

"What is it?"

"Noth -"

"Uh uh", he shook his finger at her. "I can practically _hear_ you thinking. I've known you for years Samantha Carter and I know when something is bothering you. So – what is it?"

She sighed and looked down at her drink, running her finger along the edge. "Uh – well, it's nothing really", she told him.

He frowned. "Hammond didn't change his mind, did he?"

"No."

They had heard back – finally – from the General. After many discussions and most likely some push back from the NID and others who had it in for the SGC or Jack personally, Hammond had informed them that the Air Force wasn't going to take any action against them for their relationship. They found out that Thor had given a statement, as had Daniel and Teal'c.

It did mean, however, that they would no longer be allowed to serve together on Sg-1. It was a sad moment for both of them, but Jack had been thinking long and hard about what he wanted to do and informed Sam that he was thinking of retiring anyway. They'd argued about it – fiercely – and it still wasn't totally resolved. For now, both of them were going to work on base and not do any off-world missions until it had been decided what direction they would take in their respective careers.

Jack continued to look at his wife, wondering what was going on. She was fidgeting, which wasn't like her – like him yes, but not like Carter.

"Jack – you remember on Terra, when we talked about having kids?"

He frowned slightly, trying to remember back to that conversation. "Uh, I guess, yeah."

"Well, now that we're home and you're healthy, I was wondering -"

"What?"

"_Jack!_" she exclaimed impatiently. "I want to know what you think about it."

"Think about what?"

She sighed in frustration. "About kids Jack. I want to know if you still think you might want any."

"Oh." He stared at her, wishing he knew what to say or do. Unfortunately his brain cells seemed to have frozen.

"You're telling me you don't want any aren't you?" she asked softly.

"No", he said quickly. At her look of disappointment he looked flustered. "I mean – no, I'm not telling you that." He could see the relief on her face. "I meant – I'm – do _you_ want kids?"

"Only if you do", she answered.

Great – make him decide! Looking at Sam he realized that this was important to her. He thought about the idea of having a child – a baby – and it was terrifying. Not only did it bring up all sorts of fears about the possibility of losing another child, he also wondered if he'd be up to it. He had been in his thirty's when Charlie was born and now he'd be in his fifty's. Could he handle looking after a small child?

"Thor said you'll probably outlive us all Jack", Sam said softly, seeming to know what he was thinking. "You're as healthy as a much younger man."

He gave her a small grin. That was true – so – ah hell! He had never let fear get in the way of something he wanted in the past. Why start now. Suddenly the thought of having a child with Sam was appealing – no, it was more than appealing. It was – something he realized he really wanted.

"I want kids", he nodded.

"You're sure?"

He grinned widely and put down his drink. He then sat up and leaned towards her. "I can't think of anything I want more."

She grinned back and then leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you, you know."

"Good. It's important to love the father of your future children."

"Uh Jack?"

"Yeah? What?"

"Well – I don't just love the father of my _future_ children."

"No?' he frowned, confused.

"No – I love the father of my – our _present _child." She put her hand on her stomach and grinned. "Congratulations Jack – you're going to be a daddy."

Jack suddenly thought back to that day they'd landed on Terra and remembered having felt like he was cursed. It was the third time he'd been stranded on an alien planet and he had wondered at the time, if someone was out to mess with his life. But now - with blinding clarity, he knew that getting lost on another planet with Major Samantha Carter, his second in command, the best soldier he'd ever served with, and the love of his life, had been the best thing that had ever happened to him.

_**The End **_

_**Thanks for reading and to all of you who took the time to review. On to my next story.**_

**I may do a short sequel with Jon ****(although it may not be right away)**. I wanted to give him a Sam clone, but logically I just couldn't see how it would work. Still – I might change my mind or figure something out. 


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